You'll Think of Me (35 page)

Olivia averted her eyes. “My mom is good I guess… Dad is the still the same. Nothing has really changed between them.”

“So he’s still drinking I take it?”

Olivia sighed. “Mom says he’s slowed down, but I don’t know if I believe her. I want to, but I haven’t been home enough to actually witness it.”

“You never went home during the holidays while you were in medical school?” he asked in disbelief.

“I did, but only for a few short days. It was hard to find time between school and work. Like I said, I never stayed long enough to have to deal with his verbal attacks. I think Dad tried to hide it from me when I was there, truthfully.”

Luke shook his head. “Remember when you used to sneak over to my house at night?”

Her eyes met his with a smile. “What made you think of that?” she asked.

Luke thought for a moment. “I’m not sure.” He took a sip of his soda then said, “My mom said she knew you would sneak over at night. She could tell something was going on with you, just wasn’t sure, but that she also trusted us so she didn’t get involved. Apparently your mother knew it too.”

“What! She did?” This was news to her.

“Yeah, she told me after you left, actually. It was surprising to hear.”

“Huh. Maybe that’s why I never got caught sneaking in or out of my house. I mean, Dad was too drunk to wake up to noise, but I’m sure Mom would have heard.”

“Beats me.”

“You know…” she said, easing into the next part with a smirk on her face, “the majority of the time I came over was because of what was going on at home, you knew that, but sometimes it was just because I wanted to be near you. So I’d sneak into your room and sleep with you.”

“Funny you say that because I could usually tell when something was up at home when you came in. Your body was usually wound tight, scrunched up and shaking, begging me to hold you and to not let go. So I did. I’d wait until you fell asleep and then I would too. But there were a few times when I couldn’t figure out what was bothering you, so I left it alone.”

Olivia gulped. His memories hit her gut, the reminiscences of him holding her, putting her to sleep, trying to erase her nightmares to create happy memories. “Your home felt safe to me. It was warm and inviting, unlike mine. Your mom always had a smile on her face and your brothers were happy. Being there with you felt right.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad to hear that, Livy.” She nodded with a tight smile.

“She trusted us…” Olivia giggled, shaking her head, remembering that more than sleep was going on.

“Yeah, it’s a good thing I knew how to keep you quiet back then,” Luke said, a wicked grin spreading across his handsome face.

She threw a french fry at his head, which he dodged. “Luke!”

“Ah, back in the day when we were wild and free…” Luke’s eyes traveled playfully to the sky as he thought back to them naked between the sheets at night.

“Luke. Stop. I know what you’re thinking about. Just stop.”

A sinful gleam resonated in his eyes as another french fry went flying toward his head.

“Down by the lake…”

“Luke!”

“In the back of my truck…”

“That’s it. I’m going to kill you!” she yelled, rising from the bench and laughing.

He got up from the bench and stepped back. Teasing her, he continued. “In the woods after the bonfire that one night…”

“Oh my god.” Olivia stepped around the table trying to reach him but he moved too fast.

“Your screams went on for miles…”

She almost grabbed his shirt but he moved out of her grasp. “I swear to God, Luke, I will sell all your dirty little secrets to the tabloids if you don’t stop. Like how you like to talk dirty!”

He stopped. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would,” she laughed, looking to see which way was closer to reach him. “Or how you’re actually soft and sweet and like to cuddle. Or how you like to sing impromptu songs in bed. I bet that would take away from your rock image.”

“No one would believe you,” he deadpanned.

“Yes, they would. I can see it now on the front cover of the tabloids.” Using her hands, she said, “Ex
-girlfriend to pen tell all about singer/songwriter Luke Jackson.”

“Go ahead and try it.” He hadn’t moved from his spot.

“What makes you think no one would believe me?” she asked, edging closer to Luke.

“Because I never did any of those things with anyone except with you.”

“What?” she breathed in, all humor dropping from her face.

Luke walked to where Olivia was firmly rooted in place. “There was no one else, Livy. No one else got what you got. Those were our moments, and ours alone. I wasn’t going to recreate them with anyone else.”

Olivia’s wide eyes held her from looking anywhere else but deep into Luke’s. She was lucky she managed a sentence at this point. “But didn’t you have a girlfriend? I assumed you would with her,” she whispered.

“Well, yeah, of course I had a few here and there, but you assumed wrong because I didn’t sing to any of the girls. Ever.”

Being on the road didn’t allow him to have a girl of his own long-term. And contrary to what people believed, he wasn’t the kind of guy who slept with just anyone. Sure, at first it was all fun and games. He tried to lose himself in his music and any woman who didn’t resemble Livy. Luke was young and fortunate to be doing what he loved, but in the last few years, he’d grown and shied away from the camera, wanting more privacy. Thank goodness he had considering the state his mother was in now. He kept his personal life on the down low as much as he could. Since then, he had only been with a few women, but none of them came even remotely close to the one standing before him with anguish in her eyes.

“I had no idea. Maybe I won’t sell all your secrets after all.”

Luke grinned. “I would hate for the world to know what we shared.”

Olivia stared into Luke’s eyes that held so much honesty. She couldn’t believe what he was telling her. That even after everything that had happened, he still held onto them.

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why didn’t you sing to any of them? Why didn’t you give them what you gave me?”

“Listen to my words,” he emphasized, reminding her how his feelings and emotions were weaved in his music. Luke brushed away a tangled lock of hair from her face. “It was only you, only you who got the real me. And I wasn’t going to ever share that with anyone, Livy. Even though we had split, it still meant too much to share. It didn’t feel right letting someone in on our private moments.” Cupping the sides of her face, he finished with, “So I never did.”

Olivia’s mouth gaped open. “How do I know you’re not lying?” Her voiced cracked.

“I promise you I’m not,” he said seriously. “Go ahead and share our intimate details and watch how many chicks go after you. I’m telling you the truth, Care Bear. There was no one else but you. Only you got the real me. I learned early in my career to wear a mask, but with you I never needed to. I swear.”

Olivia searched Luke’s green eyes for the truth…and found it. She saw it, even when she didn’t want to accept it; it was right in front of her eyes. She didn’t know what to think. He saved their precious moments for them only. It made her jaw quiver with too many emotions knowing he spoke the truth. Olivia could feel tears rising up and settling on her lids. This whole time…she’d been so stupid.

Her breathing accelerated and she did the only sensible thing that she could think of. Olivia grabbed the sides of Luke’s face and pulled him to her, smashing her lips to his. She stood on her tiptoes and leaned into him as Luke grabbed her hips in shock, digging his fingers into her. Olivia kissed him with force, with emotion and with heart. As Olivia wrapped her arms around Luke, he kissed her back slowly but then pulled away. Stormy need laced with confusion swirled in his green eyes. They hit her hard, and she wanted to fall into them. She went to reach for his mouth again, but he stopped her.

“As much as I love your lips on mine, what about Nate?”

Olivia gulped and she loosened her arms. She averted her eyes and bit her lip. Quietly she said, “I don’t want to talk about him.”

Luke wasn’t a cheater by any means and new Livy wasn’t either, but he had to ask about Nate. As much as he loved the feel of her in his arms, her mouth on his as she kissed him with such intensity, Luke felt bad for the guy. He watched Livy’s shoulders sag and felt her regress. He knew something was going on with Nate, he just wasn’t sure what. It wasn’t his business to ask anyway. Not right now at least while she was staring at his mouth, clearly wanting more of him.

“You sure?”

Olivia nodded. “So would it be okay if I did this?” he asked, brushing his lips across hers.

“Yes. Trust me,” she mumbled into his mouth.

“You sure?” he asked before pulling her back to his mouth and taking control.

Olivia nodded her head and then rose up on her toes once more as Luke sucked on her bottom lip. He tightened his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. Luke lapped at her lips, kissing her back with the same passion. He was showing her how much she still meant to him, that after all these years and with what he admitted tonight, the burning need for Olivia King could never be extinguished.

Just like it never had for her.

A
month had gone by since riding with Luke on his bike. At this point, Olivia was miserable and angry over her breakup with Nate and falling for Luke again.

Olivia silently berated herself as she sipped her whiskey and continued rearranging her furniture. It had been almost one month since Nate had ended things between them. Usually the whiskey calmed her nerves and made her giddy, but tonight it was doing the complete opposite. It was firing her up the way it burned down the back of her throat and settled in her stomach as she reminisced about the past. She was trying to find justifications for everything. Her emotions were battling with her brain. She just wished it would stop for a little while.

Let me down easy, Liv.

Those words had replayed over and over in her head for weeks.

Another sip.

Just her letting him down, easy.

But it really wasn’t easy in the least. She could read Nate’s emotions as clear as day as he tried to mask them. Sadness had layered his handsome face like translucent skin. She had never felt worse. A low ringing sound pushed through her thoughts.

Grabbing her phone, Olivia picked it up to see Luke calling.

And life just got sweeter, didn’t it?

“What, Luke?” she snapped.

“Whoa. What’s wrong, Care Bear?”

“Don’t call me that!” Olivia squeezed her eyes shut in frustration.
Care Bear.
She knew exactly where that stupid stuffed animal was sitting.

On her shelf. In her living room. With all her books. Just like it had for many years, and in every office she’d ever had, only this time she moved it to her house. She seemed to create her own misery everywhere she went. Now she felt like gutting the damn thing and watching its white fluff drift aimlessly to the floor. Then she would stomp on it while she laughed maniacally.

“What do you need, Luke?” she seethed into the phone, gripping it hard in her hand.

Olivia heard a lighter strike, a long, deep inhale and then release. “Just needed to call ya,” he said, his southern drawl came out stronger.

She shook her head. “For what now?”

“Nothing, really. Maybe to see if you wanted to go for a ride again.”

She’d actually love to do that, but she was too worked up at the moment to say yes. “Listen, Luke, I’m in no mood today. I’m hanging up now.”

“Livy, what’s wrong?”

Olivia fought the urge to snap back. Her emotions were already running wild and she did not want to be questioned by him. Instead, she huffed into the phone.

“Everything going okay with you and Nate? Why are you breathing heavily?”

Olivia stopped in her tracks. “I’m trying to move furniture, and it’s… It’s none of your damn business!”

“Okay…” Another puff of smoke.

“I’m rearranging my furniture. That’s why I’m out of breath!” Olivia couldn’t contain herself. Every time she answered Luke, she yelled at him. “And sweet baby Jesus, would you stop smoking those cigarettes? They’re going to kill you and ruin that raspy voice of yours everyone loves.”