ZAK SEAL Team Seven Book 3 (13 page)

***

VANESSA

I think Zak might be wearing down, at least I hope he is. I know he thinks that this is what he wants, but I’ve had a lot of time to think while I’ve been lying here for the last day and a half, and I know that in the end it will only destroy him. I know this because I know that already he loves our little girl, and I know him. One day he’s gonna look back at this and hate himself.

I wanted to hate him for it, wanted to fight him every step of the way, but I realized that that wasn’t the way. The truth is that we were both to blame, maybe me more than him, but we both played a part. And when it was all said and done, I still loved him, and if I could say that after the last few days well then. But I had to find a way to get through to him before his hate consumed him. Our little girl needed her daddy and I needed him, if he’ll have me.

This morning I had felt the difference in his touch. He’d caught himself eventually, but for those first few minutes he’d been my old Zak. He was still in there somewhere. As long as I knew that, there was hope. I hoped he did get me pregnant, it would mean being here with him a little longer. I was desperate enough to settle for even that. I just had to find a way to get him to trust me enough to untie me. I’m sure he knew he couldn’t keep me here like this for much longer, that it was just his hurt and anger fueling this behavior, but Zak danced to the beat of his own drum and he’d give it the old college try until something else came along.

I grew tired from the heat and my limbs hurt a little from inaction, I should probably tell him, but I was afraid that my complaining might send him off on another one of his rants. The last thing I wanted to remind him of was how long I’d kept his daughter away from him. I fell asleep with his name on my lips and an apology in my heart. Poor Zak, it looks like every time I come into his life all I do is destroy it in some way.

ZAK

She was asleep when I finally made it back. It pissed me off that I’d spent the whole time I was away thinking about her here waiting for me. It seemed whether I wanted it or not her pussy had a hold on me. I didn’t want to think about her, didn’t want to second-guess myself about what the fuck I was doing. But as time went on I found myself questioning my actions. When it got to be too much, I made my excuses and came back because I couldn’t fucking stay away, and I hated her even more for it.

The baby had taken a bottle of formula for the first time, but I couldn’t even find any comfort in that. The book said her mother’s milk is what was best for her, and I wanted only the best for my little angel. I’d put her down for her nap, using that as my excuse for coming back here so soon. We were finally getting somewhere. The string I’d tugged on had started unraveling and so far we’d found four other accounts. Quinn was busy moving cash around right now, which I was sure was going to anger these fucks and make them come after us.

We’d already done all the we could to ensure that the place was safe, and like I’d said it was time we went on the offensive. Taking their money was only the first strike, if we kept hitting at them, in time we’d expose the fucks hopefully. With the amount of money we’d moved today there was no doubt they were gonna feel that shit, it was left to be seen what form of action they were gonna take in retaliation.

Lo had already contacted the chief with our new findings and for the first time we’d shared the name of the family with him, something he said the old man had not gotten around to sharing with him, but something he claimed not to be too surprised about. He’d made some of the same accusations the old man had made in his files, about this shit going back to Vietnam.

We’d run as far as we could on that for today, and now it was time to switch gears again for the next few hours before we had to get back to work. I stood looking down at her, at all that beauty that had once belonged to me, that still fucking belonged to me. She had circles under her eyes and there were tear tracks running down her cheeks. Her breasts, my new fascination, rose and fell beneath the sheet and my dick flexed and grew with the memory of the pleasure to be had from them. She was a little sticky from before but I wanted her nice and clean for what I had in mind. I’m not fond of tasting my own jizz.

I got a wet cloth and cleaned her up while she came slowly awake. Her eyes flew to mine, as I unzipped and shed my pants. She looked away from me but I didn’t care. I wasn’t interested in her enjoyment, even though I knew she would. Instead of climbing between her legs and fucking my way to orgasm like I’d planned, I decided to fuck with her.

She wanted to pretend she didn’t enjoy my touch, we’ll just see about that shit. I knew what she expected, knew what she needed to feed her hate and justification, but there was no justification for what she’d done.

I laid flat on the bed between her thighs. Her eyes flew down to where I was. “What are you doing? No Zak.” I licked her first, one deep long stroke with my tongue, ignoring her pleas. I know why she was doing that shit, she wanted to pretend she didn’t feel, wanted to keep this part of herself away from me. Too bad for her I wasn’t about to let that shit happen. I worked one finger into her, then two, as I went after her clit.

She juiced up real nice even though I could feel her trying to tense up to hold off her orgasm. When it hit her, I let her ride it out on my tongue, before climbing up over her with my dick hanging over her mouth. “Open.” She gave me a look that would peel paint and refused to budge. That was fine by me I wasn’t interested in her making it too easy for me anyway.

“I said open your fucking mouth.” She flinched at my harsh tone but I still had to squeeze her jaw to get her to obey. As soon as her mouth opened a little I forced the tip of my cock inside. “You bite me, you’ll be the first woman in history to choke on a dick.”

That got her attention, and I teased my cockhead across her lips, painting them with pre-cum. Pretty soon I was fucking her face until the shit was running down the sides of her face. When she started making choking sounds I pulled out, got between her legs and fucked into her. “Don’t do this Zak please it’s not what you want.”

“Shut the fuck up.” I was pissed that she was right. Why couldn’t she let me enjoy my mad? Why did she have to make me fucking feel when I didn’t want to? “Move with me.” I both hated and reveled in her compliance. Her pussy pulled at me milking me like she was enjoying what I was doing to her. “Untie me Zak, I want to hold you.” Seriously, what the fuck was she trying to do to me? what game was she playing now?

I lifted up and away so that I could look into her eyes and what I saw there almost weakened me. I closed my eyes against the emotion. No, don’t fall for that shit she’d only gut you again, she’s fucking poison. She moved her body like she wanted me, like she wanted this, fucking with my head. “I want you to cum inside me Zak, give me your son.”

“Fuck-fuck-fuck.” I came in a never-ending stream of hot thick cum deep in her belly. My body jerked with the force of the climax that took everything out of me. I flopped down beside her with an arm over my eyes. “Don’t try to play me Vanessa, it won’t work this time. I’ve fallen for your lies for the last time.”

“It’s not lies Zak, I love you.”

“You have a fucked up way of showing it.” I rolled out of bed because she was getting to me.

***

I had to get back but she stayed on my mind. Before this shit had transpired, I’d been well on my way to reclaiming her. I’d pushed aside a whole lot of shit from our past, came to terms with most, and now I felt like we were back to square one.  The others weren’t back as yet, so I pulled the baby book I’d brought with me and started to read. I went to the section about nursing and was glad I did, because I learned something. Although a nursing mother could get pregnant, it was much easier to breed her if she wasn’t breastfeeding the baby.

How can I get Zakira off the tit without harming her? Okay Zak you’ve lost your mind now. I had to bring myself back from my thoughts because that was fucked even for me. I wasn’t as angry anymore, not like I had been yesterday and that was strange. I thought for sure I’d stay mad at her ass for a lifetime, but Ty was right, and so were the others. She’d given me a kid, she could’ve done so much differently, and one of the things she could’ve done different was not have my kid.

She’d had her when she wasn’t sure that she’d ever see me again. She’d given up a career, one that I knew she felt strongly about, so she could have my kid. Even after giving birth she could’ve signed up again, women do it all the time. But she’d chosen to stay home and raise my child. I didn’t even know what she was doing for a living but that was easily rectified. I had the means at my fingertips to find out all I needed to know about her.

**

Two hours later I sat in stunned silence. “What the fuck have you done Zak?” I flew out of the chair and left the mansion. I fled past my brothers who were on their way back. “Where’s the fire dude?” I ignored Dev as I heard Lo telling them to stand down. No doubt the rest of them thought I was going to do her bodily harm.

I hit the door running and didn’t even stop to check on the baby but went straight to her. She was asleep again, no doubt tired from my overuse of her body. I felt like scum, like the lowest form of life. I untied her arms gently and tried to work some life back into them by massaging them. “Zak?” Her voice was a drowsy whisper that tore at my heart. What have I don’t to you baby?

I finished untying her as she came fully awake. I knew from the look of fear in her eyes that she thought I was sending her away. “No Zak…”

“Shh.” I pulled her into my arms with my heart racing out of my chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry why didn’t you tell me?” She was a little confused at first until I explained. “You almost died, why the fuck didn’t you tell me that shit?”

“I don’t understand how do you know about that?”

“Does it matter? You were in an enemy camp for three months and you don’t say shit about that to me why?”

“I didn’t want you to blame yourself.” Her words cut into me like sharp knives, making me feel worse.

“You didn’t…are you fucking insane?” For the second time that day I found myself yelling at someone I loved without meaning to. “You let me do this shit to you after what you’d been through?” I felt the bile rise in my throat, I must’ve given her fucking nightmares and she never said a fucking word because she didn’t want to make me feel bad.

“The report said you weren’t hurt, tell me the truth, did he touch you?” I would tear the fucking Middle East to shreds to find the fuck if he had. As it stands, there’s nothing that can prevent me going after the bastard and cutting his heart out.

“No. He wanted to I think, but when he discovered I was pregnant he was pissed. The girl that was watching over me, her English wasn’t that good, but I gathered that his plan was to get word back to you that he’d raped me and gotten me with child. After he found out I was already pregnant the plan changed. He was going to kill me and the baby and send that news to you instead.”

My body went cold with self-hate. What kind of animal was I? How could I have done such a thing? I let her go and slid off the bed. “I’ll let you go as soon as it’s safe for you and the baby to leave. Please if it’s possible forgive me. All I ask is that you tell her about me.” I turned to leave the room my heart at my fucking feet. If I could kick my ass I would do it in a heartbeat. I’ve never despised anyone as much as I did myself in that moment.

I stopped short when I felt her little arms come around my waist. “Please don’t make me leave Zak, we belong here with you.”

“How can you say that after what the fuck I did? You should hate my guts, how can you not? I do.” I needed to get away from her, needed to go somewhere and lick my wounds. She was offering me paradise but I didn’t deserve it. I’d taken something so beautiful so precious and destroyed it, and after all she’d endured.

“I don’t want you to stay here, you deserve a lot better than me.” I tried pulling away from her but she held on tight. I closed my eyes in despair at all that I was going to lose once again, and all because of my own doing. As long as I live I’ll never forget what I’d done to her. “Don’t make me have your baby on my own again Zak, it was so hard last time. Besides, you don’t want some other man raising your kids do you?”

I pulled her around and jacked her up before I could stop myself. “You see? Look at me I can’t help myself. Even knowing what you endured because of me I was about to choke the shit out of you for mere words.”

“First of all, what happened was not because of you, it was because of one madman’s obsession. And I like it when you get crazy.” She kissed me. Actually got up on her toes and kissed my lips. I pulled her in tighter not trusting that this was real, that she was willing to forgive me.

I held onto her the way I’d always wanted to, like I would never let her go. “Can I have you?” I needed to touch her with care. Needed to show her what she meant to me without the anger and animosity between us. She was the one who took my hand and led me to the bed. She was the one who laid back and spread her legs, drawing me down to her. “Just come inside me Zak, I want to feel you.” I wanted to give her so much more.

I made my way down her body and nuzzled her between her thighs, licking the crease before letting my tongue play between her folds. Her taste was sweet on my tongue as I sent my tongue deeper while my nose pressed into her slick clit. She started to move as I tongue fucked her, trying to draw her essence out greedily. I made love to her pussy the way I used to in the beginning, when there was nothing but love between us. Her fingers in my hair led me on, to eat her deeper as my fingers dug into her ass, holding her in place.

When she came on my tongue and her pussy juice ran down my chin, I slid up her body and entered her softly.

It was by far the most sensuous experience of my life. The way she clasped me to her, the way her body opened and accepted mine. There were no hurried movements, just soft touches and fires rekindled. “I’ve never loved anything as much as I love you, never will Red, my Red.” We moved together, slowly at first, until it got to be too much and I couldn’t hold back. “Cum with me baby.” I teased her ass as I fucked into her, bringing her to the edge. When she started to tighten around me I went for her tit, sucking the milk that was getting ready to spout into my mouth.

The taste of her sweet milk ramped up my lust and our sweet loving soon turned into a hard fuck that left her screaming and gushing around my dick, her pussy milked my cock pretty much the same way my mouth was pulling on her tit. I slammed into her cervix and released a volley of seed inside her until I went blind, deaf and dumb. “That’s the one. I just bred you for sure.” We were both breathing uncontrollably as I kept moving inside her, never wanting it to end. I slipped out of her when she’d sucked the last bit of sperm from my cock.

Our daughter chose that moment to wake up in the next room and I watched as my woman went to get our child. She came back into the room and sat on the bed to feed the baby while I watched. I couldn’t resist leaning over and taking her other tit into my mouth and sucking. I had sense enough to leave some for the baby, though I could’ve stayed there all night.