Zel: Markovic MMA (72 page)

But I didn’t want Alexei like this. I wanted him the right way. I wanted him to love me as much I loved him. I wanted him to be mine and only mine forever. I didn’t want to share him with anyone else.

“This is so fucked up, Stas.”

“Life is fucked up.” Gently wiping away the tears on my face, Stas said, “It’s time to grow up, Shay. You’re sweet and kind and good. Alexei loves that about you. He’s offering you the full package. He’s offering you a home, money, access to powerful people and trendsetters. He’s offering you a future.”

“So what? You’re saying I have to accept that?” I gestured toward his SUV. “That I have to just swallow his infidelity?”

“These whores get the penthouse. They get an hour of his time and then they’re done. But you? You’ll get the ring. You’ll get the house. You’ll get his name. You’ll have his babies. He’ll take care of you, and you’ll be happy if you can learn to cast a blind eye to this bullshit. It’s a small price to pay.”

“That’s not good enough for me, Stas.”

His mouth flattened into a sad line. “Then you’re a fool, Shay.”

“I guess I am,” I agreed miserably.

Stas awkwardly hugged me, wrapping his brawny arms around my shoulders and squeezing me tight. His embrace surprised me at first. He wasn’t the most touchy-feely of guys, but deep down inside, he was a good man. He didn’t always say the nicest things, but he was gentle when it counted. He understood that I was in pain and needed some support right now.

With his arm around my shoulder, he led me back to the car and helped me into the passenger seat. We didn’t speak as he drove me back to Alexei’s house. I stared out the window and tried to process everything that had just happened. I didn’t know what to think or feel anymore. Everything I had accepted to be true about Alexei and about our relationship had been decimated. It was all lies. All of it.

I have to get out. I have to get out now.

But where would I go? Kylee? She was already on the hook for Lalo’s death. If I ran to her, we would be two perfectly placed targets alone in that apartment of hers.

Shannon.

I could try to find Shannon and then we could disappear together. I had the money Alexei had given me, not a lot, but it would be enough to get us on a bus. We’d have to start over, but we weren’t afraid of hard work. We could sleep in roach motels and eat ramen until we had enough scraped together to get an apartment.

“Don’t even think about it,” Stas warned as we walked into the house a short time later.

“Think about what?” I played dumb.

“You’re thinking about running. It’s not going to happen, Shay. Not on my watch. I’ll handcuff you to me if that’s what it takes to keep you safe.”

He was dead serious. “Stas—”

“No, Shay. You are safe here. It might not be ideal, but you’ll have to learn to accept it. For both our sakes,” he added. Taking my hand, he dragged me through the house to the office I had taken over with my supplies. Flipping on the light, he pointed toward my tools. “The best thing you can do right now is take all that anger and pain inside you and turn it into fuel for work.”

“Work? Right now? When I feel like I’m dying inside?”

“Yes. Right now.” He gave me a little push toward the desk. “Alexei believes in you and in this business. He’s not wrong about either of those things. He believes you’ll be a success. Use him to get what you want.”

“That’s so cold, Stas.”

“And fucking that other woman while you’re here playing house isn’t?”

I recoiled at the ugly way he framed it. “Stas!”

“It’s the truth, Shay, and that’s why you have to listen to me,” he insisted. “You have a big, soft heart, Shay. Make your money. Get back on your feet. Then get the hell out before he ruins you.”

He’s already ruined me
, I thought dejectedly. I had fallen for Alexei’s charm like so many other women before me. I was a fool. I was just as stupid and pathetic as my mother had been, always chasing after the wrong men.

I had believed I was different, that Alexei could love me more than any of the others because I was special, but I had been dead wrong. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t different. Naïve. Childish. Hopelessly romantic. I was all those things.

Stas was right. It was time for me to grow up and see the world as it truly was. My life had taught me many painful lessons. This failed relationship with Alexei was just another one of them. I had been an idiot to place my safety and my future in the hands of a man. I had given up my home and my job for empty promises.

With renewed determination, I sorted out my projects and chose three of them. Two needed finishing touches. Punching holes in leather proved to be rather therapeutic. Setting grommets and eyelets felt even better. A few times, Stas came to the open door to watch me as I slammed a mallet down again and again. The thick board I used as a working platform absorbed most of the energy but the loud thud echoed in the office.

When I was finished with those two handbags, I wrapped them in pillowcases, tagged a note to each one and then then picked up the third order form. The client had chosen a fawn shade of leather for her handbag and wanted some feathery designs burned into it. I selected the pyrography tips I would need and attached them to the pens before plugging them in to heat.

Carefully, I unfolded the sheet of vegetable tanned leather and inspected it again for any blemishes. Satisfied with its condition, I measured out the leather I needed and cut it with my super sharp shears. I found the design we had settled on and used the copy of it as a template. I traced the template with a ballpoint stylus.

When I was finished, I set aside the paper and picked up the stylus pen I needed for the tracing. The heat radiating from the tip warmed my fingers and reminded me to use excess caution. In my early days of leather burning, I had scorched my fingertips so many times. It had taken two years of working with these tools regularly to feel comfortable with them. Even now, I worried about safety all the time, always looking for things that would melt or catch fire and keeping my fingers safe from the blazing hot tips.

While I methodically traced the imprint the stylus had created, I couldn’t stop thinking about Alexei and the redhead. Embarrassed, I remembered the way she had looked at me when Kylee had made her ill-timed joke about my sugar daddy. Even worse, I remembered the way Nisha had glanced back at the salon’s cutting floor when she was talking to me in private. She must have known that Alexei was stepping out on me with the glam redhead.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I realized what a fool I had been the last few days. The worst part? I had let Alexei put me at risk of not only pregnancy but an STD. I couldn’t be sure he was telling the truth about always using protection with his other partners. Ashamed, I decided that tomorrow morning I would go straight to the clinic. My days of being cavalier with my health and future were over.

Distracted by thoughts of pregnancy and sickness, I wasn’t paying attention when I reached out for the copy of the design to check my work so far. The cord of the pen I held tugged on the other pen plugged in next to it. I heard the other pen falling and reacted on instinct, reaching out to grab it before it fell on the floor.

Idiot!

“OW!” I screamed in pain as the sharp skew tip burned my fingers. The unbelievable pain as it simultaneously burned and sliced was so bad I shrieked again and ripped it away from my blistering skin.

Stas barreled into the room. “What happened?”

Gripping my injured hand, I sobbed in pain. “I burned myself.”

He was at my side in a second. “Let me see.” When I pulled my hand back, he took it firmly and repeated himself. “Let me see it, Shay.”

When I showed him, he winced. Reaching down, he unplugged the pyrography pens so we wouldn’t start a fire. In a flash of speed, he scooped me up and rushed me to the kitchen. He put my hand under the faucet and started running cold water onto my wounded fingers. The heat in my fingers was almost too much to bear, and the cold sting felt even worse.

“I know it hurts but you have to cool it down.” He found a plastic sandwich bag in a drawer and took it to the refrigerator where he filled it up with ice. He wet a towel under the faucet and wrung it out before wrapping the ice pack with it. “Put this on your hand. We need to get you to the emergency room right now.”

It was the last place I wanted to go, but he was right. This wasn’t a small burn I could fix with some antibiotic ointment and a bandage. Holding my hand to my chest, I followed Stas out of the house and into the car. He helped me fasten my seatbelt before jogging around and getting behind the wheel.

Backing out of the garage, he shook his head. “You have the worst fucking luck of any woman I’ve ever met.”

Hand throbbing and heartbroken, I could only nod in quiet acceptance of that fact. The worst luck ever…

Chapter Twenty-Three

Pulling into the penthouse parking garage, Alexei wrapped up his phone call with Ivan and parked in his usual spot. It felt strange coming back here. This was usually a place that filled him with excitement and lust. Today he felt none of that. The woman he wanted wasn’t waiting for him upstairs. She was on her way home.

Sitting here waiting for Marissa, he had never been more sure he was making the right decision to sell this property. Everything he wanted was waiting for him in the house that always seemed so empty and cold. With Shay’s help, he would turn that place into a home. He wanted pictures of their smiling faces on the walls. He wanted her books on his shelves. He wanted her socks mixed in with his. Someday he wanted their noisy, messy children running through the halls.

He sighted Marissa’s flashy Mercedes and exited his SUV. He buttoned his suit jacket and welcomed her with a smile. The elegantly dressed woman who embraced him in a cloud of floral and musk was nothing like the woman who had seduced and propositioned him over a year ago.

Back then, Marissa had been one of Besian’s most popular girls, but she’d known her days were numbered on the stage. She’d been putting herself through school, but she’d needed connections and money to create a new life for herself. In that first negotiation, she had proven to him that she had a mind for business. He’d been impressed with her drive and ambition and had never doubted that she would find success.

“Alexei!” She embraced him and kissed his cheek.

“Hello, Marissa.” Not so long ago, her shape and warmth had been so familiar to him. Today, he was surprised by how wrong it felt to hug her. Too tall. Too thin. Too much perfume. He mentally catalogued all the ways she was different from Shay.

Stepping to his side, she linked her arm with his. “So how was your day?”

“Busy but good.” He escorted her to the private elevator. “You?”

“I had a business breakfast with John Mueller.”

“Really? What did he want?”

“He asked me to join his firm.” She preened like a peacock. “He wants to give me a department and everything.”

Whatever his disagreements with Mueller over Shay and her sister, he grudgingly acknowledged that the man ran a successful business. If Mueller was being serious about asking Marissa to come onboard, it could be a huge career shift for her. “Get a lawyer and negotiate the fuck out of whatever contract he offers.”

She laughed and stepped inside the elevator. “I heard your voice in my head while I was at breakfast with him. His terms were favorable, but I have some points I want to negotiate.”

“Push hard, Marissa. He knows what an asset you’ll be to him in this new market. Make him pay.”

“You don’t need to worry about that.” They exited the elevator and walked to the door of the apartment. While she waited for him to unlock the door, she leaned back against the wall and smiled coyly. “I’ve missed that elevator ride and the walk to this door.”

When she reached out and trailed her fingers down his arm, Alexei realized he had to say something. Though he had hoped to avoid any awkwardness, he could tell that was no longer a possibility. “Marissa,” he said her name in the gentlest way possible, “I’m involved with someone.”

Her smile slowly collapsed and her hand fell. “Involved?”

“It’s serious.” Not wanting there to be any doubt, he added, “I’m going to marry her.”

Marissa seemed flabbergasted by that admission. “Is she pregnant?”

“No!” But he wasn’t sure of that, was he? “It doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t. She’s the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with,” he answered simply.

Gawking at him as if she had never seen him before, she asked, “What makes her so special that you want to marry her? After all of us that have come through those doors?” She gestured to the penthouse entrance. “What does she have that we didn’t?”

“It’s not easy to explain. She just—she’s the one.” He touched his chest. “I felt it right here the first time I met her.”

Narrowing her eyes, Marissa asked, “And when, exactly, did you meet her?”

He wasn’t going to lie. “When we were together.”

“I see.” Her mouth thinned to a perturbed line. Knowing that Marissa could make trouble for Shay, he wanted to set the record straight.

“You don’t. Shay had no idea about me and you or any of the others before you. Shay and I never dated or even kissed until months after we had ended things. I don’t think she even realized I was interested in her until very recently.”