Zenith Falling (24 page)

Then everything seemed to get
completely, almost painfully quiet. And there they were, with her body pressed against the wall, his body supporting hers, his head on her shoulders, and his warm breath on her neck. Both bodies hot and sweaty, their dampness still faintly scented with chlorine. Nick sighed deeply and cursed to himself. Joelle bit her lip. Should she say something? What could she say that might ease the terrible discomfort suddenly overtaking her, and radiating into the air around them?

Nick’s shoulders shifted under her hands, as he slipped out of her. She had to pull her head back before they finally made eye contact. His face was impassive as he looked into her eyes, before gazing off at something else. Oh my God, he couldn’t even
look
at her. He adjusted her in order to carry her with one arm under her knees, while cradling her with the other by supporting her back. He moved away from the wall, bearing her effortlessly into the bedroom where she assumed he intended to go to in the first place.

He lay her down on the bed, as easily as one of his nieces, and pushed the covers back, scooting her in and climbing in next to her, while covering them both.
His hands moved back to her body; as he rubbed along her arms and back, heating her skin all over again. She had been sweating, and overheating, but now was shivering.

Her mind was reeling, jumbled, and trying to catch up with what just happened to her,
and between them. Nick and her. She felt dizzy after her quick, and totally unexpected orgasm, which only managed to intrigue her as to why it happened. And what, if anything, it meant for them.

“I’m sorry.”

She opened her eyes when she registered Nick was speaking to her, feeling slightly disappointed to hear he was
apologizing
to her.

She turned her head on the pillow so she was looking toward his windows. She could not,
no
,
would not
meet his gaze.

“I meant to make it into here. At least to the bed. But I
–”

“Didn’t.”

“I didn’t. It’s just that with you here, like this. I didn’t expect it, ever. I couldn’t think straight.”

“Does that happen very often?”

“What? Up against the wall? No. Maybe it should though.”

A smile finally cracked on her face as she replied,
“I meant, you not thinking clearly.”

“No. Not very often.”

“Hence, the millions you have. Still, you should try it more often.”

He placed his fingers on her chin
and turned her face towards him. She had to look him in the eye. “We didn’t use anything.”

“I’m on birth control
.” Erica had helped her find a kind that didn’t make her feel sick.

H
is eyes narrowed in on her face. “Why?”

“Why? So I don’t end up like I was a few months ago in the hospital.”

“No, I mean why? For Rob?”

“No. Not for anyone. For me. I’m surprised you aren’t more careful.”

“Usually, I am. Actually,
always
I am.”

“But this isn’t usual?”

“You know that it isn’t.”

Then what is this? And why did it happen
?

He shifted on the bed, and flopped onto his back, his hands resting on his chest. “Christ,” he said, blowing out a stream of air. “
You never wanted to sleep with me, did you?”

“No. I wasn’t going to sleep with you.”

“Why did you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Not really very reassuring, Joelle.”

“I don’t know
what to say to you.”

He was quiet for a long, drawn-out moment.
“Say, ‘Oh Nick that was fantastic. Do it again.’”

She
didn’t expect the humor, or the sudden smile that lifted his lips with warmth that rose right up to his eyes. She shook her head. “Nobody talks like that. Especially not a girl like me.”

“Wom
an. I don’t sleep with girls.”

“You think I’m a girl.”

“No, I tried to think of you as a girl.”

“Why?”

“Because you were married. And you were too young for me. Or I’m too old for you, however you want to look at it, I didn’t think we’d ever get here.”

“And now?”

“Now I guess we’re here.”

“I’m still married.”

“And too young. I’ve spent the past few months having this same argument with myself.”

“And yet
–”

“And yet here you are
, aren’t you?”

“I guess, here
we
are.”

“You have
never slept with anyone, but Rob, have you?”

She jerked her head off the pillow. “
How did you know that?”

Nick sighed. “Because this isn’t easy for you. You’re still nervous with me.”

“I’m not nervous.”

“You’re not exactly comfortable. I can feel you holding your muscles clenched.”

He was right, she was all tensed up. He rolled towards her, putting his hand under her chin, and lifting her mouth before kissing her again.

“Your first words about us were swear words.”

He nuzzled her throat and kissed her before he finally laughed softly against her hair. “I didn’t curse at you. I cursed at how it happened. I should have done this differently. I meant to; I really did. I was pissed off at my sister, and at you being the subject of ridicule and condescension by one person or another. I actually meant to seduce you by  having dinner and conversation and all that. Not ripping off your swimsuit and plowing you against the wall before you could think straight.”

“Really? You think you didn’t do it well enough?”

“I didn’t.”

She
smiled a timid smile. “You did, and besides, I know.”

“You know what?”

“What you’re like.”

“How? Did Erica tell you?”

“No. We don’t sit around gossiping about you, if that’s what you’re hoping. I meant, I know what kind of man you are. You’ve always been good to me. You’ve thought about what I needed, wanted, should have, before I could even think of it. I know you. I don’t know much about life or myself anymore, but I do know you.”

He looked at her, hard, long, and intently. “
So, you liked that?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t say a word. You barely even breathe differently.”

She shrugged.
“It’s just me. Don’t take it personally.”

“Should I take this happening personally?”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, big time.”

“Me too.”

He stared at her again.

“Why do you keep staring at me?”

He lifted a hand to touch her hair that was dry now and frizzing out of the knot at the back of her head.
“I just like looking at you, all healed up. Your face is so pretty, and normally colored. You don’t know how good it makes me feel just to see you well.”

“Oh.”

“Speaking of looking,” he said, as he lifted the covers off her, and slid them back. Her body was fully exposed as the daylight snuck through the far windows.

“What are you doing?” she asked,
jerking to attention.

“Finding number four and five.”

“What?” Tattoos. Their previous conversation echoed through her mind, and she shifted as she grabbed at the bedspread.

“Come on, I’ve been wondering for months. It keeps me up at nig
ht.”

“It does not! But fine. Here,” she said, turning
to the left, and showing the one on her stomach, right at her belly button.
Zenith
was on her back, and the only reason he hadn’t seen it until now was her swimsuit strap happened to cover it.

He let out an exaggerated sigh.
“Well, that was disappointing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had it pictured on your ass, or even–”

“You’re a pervert, you know that?”

“Well, it was nice for a few fantasies.”

“You haven’t been fantasizing about me, least of all, my tattoos. They can’t be your thing.”

“No. They’re not. But you? You are my thing. You didn’t think I kissed you like that awhile back just because I felt sorry for you, did you? I wanted you then, but you weren’t ready.”

She didn’t know what to make of knowing that Nick Lassiter was thinking of her like that,
like this
, for some time. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. It sent thrills through her… and made her pulse skitter rapidly. Nick scared her. She spent a lot of her time shying away from even thinking about sleeping with Nick. It never seemed like a good idea to her. Or even a possible idea. But now it was fact. It was done. “How do you go from Erica to me?”

“About the same way you go from Rob to me.”

“I’m all wrong for you. You wouldn’t have ever given me a second look if you hadn’t felt so sorry for me. The hair, my clothes, all of it is wrong for you.”

“
No, I wouldn’t have looked twice at you. Not because of how you looked, but because you were too young for me, and you were married.”

“
And because we’re so mismatched.”

“Because you’re so lost. We aren’t anything until you figure out yourself.”

“But I’m here now.”

Nick sighed. “That
, Joelle, is the problem. You’re here. And I want you to stay here.”

She
closed her mouth. She knew what their problems were and they started with her violation of Number One: she never intended to sleep with Nick Lassiter, her boss, a man who wasn’t her husband.

The phone rang suddenly, breaking the cocoon-like feel of the room. Joelle sat up, bringing his luxurious covers with her, clutching them close to her body. Nick glared at the phone, but leaned over and took it off the cradle, bringing it to his ear with a gruff hello.

“Peyton? Hey. Yeah, sorry I didn’t call sooner, I got tied up,” Nick said, glancing at her. He suddenly swung his body around, planting his feet on the ground, with his head resting on his hand, and his elbow on his knee.

“Look
, ah, about tonight. What? Oh the party was fine. Poppy loved it, thanks for asking. Anyway, one of my sisters is here, yeah, she needs some help with a situation. So, I’m going to have to cancel tonight.

“Uh-huh. Yeah. Thanks, for understanding. Yeah
, I’ll take care of her. Uh-huh, see you. Bye.”

He hung up the phone, and moving very slowly
, finally turned towards her. Joelle saw the regret gleaming in his eyes.

“Oh my God
, you had a date tonight? With whom? Erica’s replacement? You have a girlfriend?” Joelle shot up with alarm as she spoke. She had no clothes, but for the blanket she was wrapped in.

“No. I don’t. And it wasn’t so much a date as just attending a function. And in my defense, how could I have known you’d end up here? I haven’t seen or heard from you in months.”

“You forgot about her? Your date?”

He frowned, looking puzzled.
“Well, yeah. I did.”

“Then why did you invite me to the stupid pool party?”

He sighed. “I didn’t.”

“Erica said
–”

“Erica dumped me because she thinks I wanted you like this.”

Joelle’s mouth dropped open. She didn’t know what to say. All these months, she’d never known this? Never suspected? “Why doesn’t Erica hate me?”

“Because apparently, she realized that she wanted what she believes we feel for each other. So she was okay with it, I guess. I don’t know. Ask her sometime. You live with her.”

Joelle turned, fully intending to flee the room, the apartment, and his life, forever.

Nick was up, and at the door before she got there. He shut the door, and kept it firmly shut with his hand high enough that she couldn’t
reach it. She glared up at him, clumsily clutching the blanket around her.

He ran a hand through his hair. The curls didn’t get messed up, but simply sprang back to where they started, like memory foam.
“Slow down. You have this terrible tendency to freak out only at me and nobody else. So before you start yelling at me, would you at least let me explain?”

“Explain what? What I’m doing here?”

“The date was nothing, just a woman I know. I’m not serious about anyone. Tonight, was just another business function. I’m sorry she called, and I’m sorry I forgot to call her first. I was surprised when you walked in with Erica. I suspected, knowing how shy you are, that it wasn’t your idea, but Erica’s doing. And I was glad she did. Very glad she did.”

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“I know. But you are. So what are you going to do? Run and hide? Forget it? Pretend it didn’t happen? Run back to your husband? That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Rob? Your guilt, and your conflicts of interest. This isn’t about whether or not I had a date.”