Zoey And The Nice Guy (Big Girl Panties #1) (8 page)

Shock first, then that wicked smile. “Putting your foot down. Mmm, I’m not sure you have the authority to do that. But I’m intrigued to see you try.”

He was on the verge of grabbing her again, but Addy, who was back at the bar, cleared her throat loudly. “Zoey, shouldn’t you get the Christmas decorations out for the kids?”

“I’ve got cookies in the oven,” Zoey replied, her eyes still on Kellen’s.

“Kellen can keep an eye on them.”

Zoey hesitated, keeping her eyes on him. “I won’t go talk to your mom,” she said.

“Damn,” he said. “I was looking forward to showing you who’s boss.”

Her face turned red and her eyes lit up. But Addy cleared her throat. Zoey huffed and stomped past him toward the garage. Addy sent him a long look before following her friend.

Zoey loved Addy like a sister, but for the first time ever, Zoey wished she would just go away. Kellen Bradley had been flirting with her. More than that, Kellen Bradley had been sizing her up like a lion about to eat its prey. It had been a long, long time since anyone had stirred her up like he just had.

She sat on the edge of a box in the garage and buried her face in her hands.

The door clicked open and shut and Addy was there. “Kellen’s our friend. You can’t—“

“He’s your friend. Not mine.”

“Whatever. You can’t do this to him.”

“I can’t flirt with him?”

“You remember what happened with Andy Crowley?”

Andy Crowley. Now that was a good memory. One of Zoey’s hotter affairs. Funny, but the hottest sex with Andy hadn’t been nearly as hot as that moment she’d just had with Kellen.

“Or Jess Landers?”

Jess had also been hot.
 

“You broke them. Both of them. And Terry Hale worst of all.”

Zoey had been accused of this before, enough that she was beginning to believe it was true. Andy had fled, crying, and become an alcoholic. Jess hadn’t dated since her, and that was four years ago. Terry, her most recent, was still dealing with heartache. The thing was, she didn’t know what she’d done to break them. When the relationship ended, it was usually them dumping her, or it had been for Jess and Andy.
 

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked. Such a pathetic question. One she’d never been brave enough to ask before. She began to wonder if there mightn’t be something she could change, because she truly didn’t want to hurt Kellen.

“You’re too hard on them.”

“How?”

“You don’t bend, Zoey. You’re a—a fucking Redwood. You just stand there, tall and solid and you refuse to give anything. These guys try, with you. You just don’t let them in.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Change who I am? What?”

Addy knelt in front of her and took her face in her hands. “You know how to do this, Zoey. You have two very strong relationships. With me and Maya. You know how to compromise in a relationship and how to let another person’s needs dictate your behavior. You’re doing it for Maya right now. You just seem to refuse to do that for the men in your life.”

Her frown was impeded by Addy’s hands squishing her cheeks together. Addy smiled and dropped her hands.
 

“I know what you’re saying,” Zoey said quietly. “But I just…don’t want to lose myself in a man. None of them worked hard enough, you have to give me that, Addy. I’d give myself to a man who could prove he’s got what it takes to stand by me. Why should I waste my time on men who can’t take the heat?”

“There’s a balance.”

“I don’t want to be consumed by a relationship.”

Addy lowered her beautiful, dark lashes and nodded. “Maya.”

“And my mom.”

“Yes. I see.” Addy sat and hugged her knees. “I think I’m afraid of that, too.”

“Professor McSexyPants?”

Addy laughed and blushed. “He’s so intense. If I ever gave in to my attraction, and if it turned out he returned my feelings, I’m not sure how I’d ever come out of it. I look at him and almost want to lose myself. It’s sick.”

Zoey propped her chin on her palm. “Men. Why must they make it so difficult to love them?”

Addy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know, but tell me this; does Kellen make you wanna lose yourself? Or do you just want to mate with him and then bite his head off?”

“Ha. Funny, Addy.”

She arched a brow at her.

Zoey sighed. “I don’t know. Something…clicked, yesterday. He’s been on my mind ever since.”

“He’s a serial monogamist. He’s long-term boyfriend material. You can’t do this to him, Zoey. Not unless you’re willing to take things to the next level. You’ll hurt him.”

All she knew was she definitely didn’t want to hurt him. Not deeply, anyway. Maybe a little light bondage in the bedroom, but definitely nothing that would leave emotional scars.
 

They stood and each grabbed a box of decorations. They walked back into the house toward the kitchen. Kellen was there, facing them, placing a tray of freshly baked cookies on the counter, oven-mitts on his hands and a smile on his face. “Think I got the hang of this,” he said.

“Damn,” Zoey uttered softly. She shot Addy a pleading look, silently begging her to let her have a go at the pretty man.

Addy shook her head and moved into the living room. Zoey followed, feeling like a kid who’d been told no to a piece of candy.
 

Kellen joined them a few minutes later. They were untangling lights for the tree. The kids came in to help. Zoey put on some Christmas music, old stuff from Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. It was about all she had, but the kids seemed happy with it.

“I would’ve been happy to pitch in for a tree, Zoey,” Kellen said, as he and Addy handed the lights around, tucking them into the branches.

“What are you saying? You don’t like our tree?”

“No, I didn’t say that. I mean, it’s a little skimpy, but—“

“It’s a Charlie Brown tree,” Sophie said. “We rescued it.”

“You know what?” he said. “That’s just what I would expect of you, sweetheart. You’re a very compassionate little girl.” He plugged in the lights and then lifted Sophie onto his hip.

“Thanks,” she said. “It’s a pretty tree, though.”

“It is. Very pretty. It has an austere sort of elegance going on.”

She giggled, and he tousled her hair.
 

Zoey’s mouth was watering. She didn’t know why she cared if he was good with kids. She certainly didn’t want kids anytime soon, if ever. But something about his sensitive interaction with his niece was just—mouthwatering.

He caught her eye and grinned a little bigger. She looked away to keep from jumping him. A buzzer rang in the kitchen. “Oh, cookies are done,” he said, and dashed off to get more cookies out of the oven.
 

“God,” Zoey groaned, “I might have to excuse myself for a little private time.”
 

Addy hit her with a couch pillow.

Maya woke up and inhaled deeply through her nose. “Cookies? You did it?”

Zoey grinned and shouted back to the kitchen, “Your sister-in-law wants cookies, Kellen.”

“I’m on it.”

He came back from the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for Maya. “These are chocolate chip,” he said. “And this one is Zoey’s concoction, so eat at your own risk.”

“What the he—ck,” Zoey caught herself before saying hell. These kids were killing her. “Those are candy cookies. They have peanut butter cups, M&Ms, chopped up toffee bars, and bits of caramel. They’re the best kind of cookie ever.”

“Wow,” Maya said. “Sounds good.” She bit into one, smiled, and gave her a thumbs-up.
 

Zoey stuck her tongue out at Kellen, who grinned good-naturedly.
 

“You saved the sprinkles and stuff, didn’t you Aunt Zoey?” Matthew asked. He was picking through the box of ornaments, handing them to Sophie to hang on the tree. “We need those for decorating the sugar cookies.”

“I saved them.” Being called ‘Aunt Zoey’ made her feel all warm and gooey inside. Which, in turn, made her long for Kellen all the more. Damn evolutionary instincts.

Kellen settled in on the floor next to Zoey. They sat there watching Matthew and Sophie decorate the tree. He gave her hair a tug. “You’re a mess,” he said. “Flour all over.”

She turned and grinned back at him, feeling like a fool for blushing over the attentions of Kellen Bradley. Where was her irrational hatred when she needed it?

Their gazes remained locked until Addy cleared her throat and they both looked away.
 

A few minutes later, he stood and stretched. “I’m headed home. You need anything, Maya?”

Maya shook her head, a blissed-out smile on her face, likely a combination of good pain meds and cookies.

Kellen headed for the door. “Zoey, can you step outside for a sec?” He didn’t wait for an answer.

Zoey pointedly ignored Addy as she shoved her feet in her boots and wrapped a shawl around her shoulders.
 

Outside, Kellen was leaning on his truck frowning down at his feet. He smiled when he saw her. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Would you maybe wanna have dinner with me tomorrow?”
 

Zoey’s chest squeezed. She’d dated guys. Slept with guys. But she could never remember a time when a guy had formally asked her on a date. For a moment, one joyous moment, she had ‘yes’ on the tip of her tongue, but it vanished when she realized that Addy was right.
 

Kellen saw it, too. He brightened for a moment and then dimmed when he realized she wasn’t going to accept.

“It’s just not a good time,” she said lamely.

He nodded, his brow furrowing for a moment. “Sure, I understand. Maybe once Maya’s all better and doesn’t need you?” There were those eyes, again. Wide and full of vulnerability.

She swallowed down a pain that was surprisingly strong. This was more than just mild regret. She’d expected to be sad in the way that she was sad when she couldn’t buy a dress that was too expensive. This sad ran far deeper. “I don’t think so, Kellen.”

His frown held confusion this time. He nodded and reached behind him for the handle of his truck. Then he let go. “May I ask why?”

She hugged her shawl tighter to her body. “I just don’t think it would work. I mean, I’ve been flirting with you, and it’s been fun, but Addy’s right. I shouldn’t do that. It just wouldn’t work between us. You understand?”

“Yeah,” he said. His breath expelled a cloud in front of him. “Yeah, I understand.”
 

He turned and opened his truck door, but then he froze. He looked back, just enough that she could see his perfect profile. “No, Zoey, I don’t understand. I actually think it could work really well. I’m not afraid of you if that’s what you’re worried about. And I think you wanna be with me. So…I’m willing to try it out. Just give it some thought, okay?”
 

He climbed in his truck, slamming the door. She watched him drive away.
 

The next morning was Monday and, while the children had already gotten out for Christmas break, Zoey still had to go to work. Addy, who was getting her Master’s degree and worked as a teaching assistant, was also on break, so she would stay with Maya while Zoey was gone during the day.

The accounting firm where she worked was small, but growing. She’d interned there while in college and now had her own client list. A list which was about to grow, by one.
 

There was cake on Albert’s desk that morning. It was already half-eaten and everyone was milling around the office with their little paper plates and plastic forks. Zoey meandered past the fake Christmas tree and perched her hip on the edge of his desk. She cut herself a piece of cake.
 

Albert leaned back, a pleased expression on his face.
 

“So what did you decide on?” Zoey asked. “Alaskan or Caribbean?”

“Caribbean this month. Alaskan in the summer.”
 

“Early retirement. How’d you pull that off?” He was only fifty-eight.

“Well, I got my military pension and twenty years here, so the two retirements together made it possible. Pretty sweet.”

Zoey smiled, nodded, and bit into the cake. She was happy for Albert. She actually like him. One of the few people she had fond feelings toward. He was unemotional, and he minded his own business. His conversations were short and to the point.
 

“Had a request from one of my clients,” he said. “He wants you to take over.”

“He? Who?”

“Jayce Gilmore.”

Zoey almost choked. “Jayce hates me.”

“Really? He said you were friends.”

She shrugged and bobbed her head side-to-side in thought. “Maybe friends who don’t like each other very much. He requested me?”

“Yeah. Says he trusts you. You want him?”

“Yeah, I’ll take him. He’s got the bar and the gym and some rental property, right?”

Albert nodded and stuffed some more cake in his mouth. “I’ll email you his files today.”

Zoey went back to her desk mildly disgusted with herself for how pleased she was that Jayce wanted her for his accountant. After work, she drove to his bar to talk to him. She didn’t admit to herself that the little niggling in the corner of her mind was actually hope. Hope that Kellen would be there as he so often was.
 

Jayce glanced at her when she walked into the bar but otherwise made no reaction. She stopped halfway to the counter, her eyes drawn to the dartboard where Rick, a regular there, was throwing darts at her face. “Son-of-a-bitch! Rick, I thought you were better than that.” She stomped over, ripped the picture down, and then turned on him. “There’s a special place in hell for you,” she snarled. She crammed the photo into her purse and then made her way to the bar, which was mostly empty, being a Monday evening. “So are you a glutton for punishment, or what?” she asked Jayce.

He only glanced at her before going to work concocting some kind of drink that involved Vodka, Hot Damn, and Grenadine. He shook the mixture and served it to her in a martini glass. “What do you call this one?” she asked, taking a sip.