#1.5 Finding Autumn (10 page)

Once she ushered me inside, I saw her mom waiting in the foyer. She looked so much like Autumn, it was easy to keep the smile on my face. Her mother’s eyes held the same warmth and she had a similar small stature. Honestly, my relief was staggering that Autumn’s mom obviously hadn’t made the connection and realized I was related to Thomas. She slipped her hand in mine and said, “Vivian Dorey. I’m Autumn’s mother.” Her eyes went wide as she studied me, and I could feel her appraisal.

“I’m Blake Preston. It’s nice to meet you.”

I noticed Autumn’s father on the couch and saw he was also staring at me in the same curious manner as Autumn’s mom. I knew too much and I hated it. Because it was clear Autumn hadn’t brought anyone home in a very long time to meet her parents. Her father stood up and made it to the foyer in three long strides.

“I’m Autumn’s dad, Carl. It’s always nice to meet a friend of Autumn’s.” Her father had a firm grip, and I imagined him using those hands to end my pathetic life. I visualized some jackass like me showing up to take Delia out and what I’d want to do to the guy.

Vivian asked me to take off my sneakers and I looked to Autumn with slight alarm. Without being too obvious, I was trying to send her a distress signal. As lovely as I was sure her parents were, I wanted to get the hell out of there. My brain was buzzing with too many unsolicited thoughts and would only be silenced if I dragged Autumn away and kissed her all over.

She looked embarrassed by her mom and insisted it was fine for me to keep my shoes on. It looked like an argument was about to start between the two, so I tried to make it a non-issue by telling her it was fine. None of it was fine, but since I smashed my moral compass to pieces weeks ago, I’d just go with it.

Her mother’s face was inquisitive as she watched me remove my sneakers. I concentrated on the laces while she spoke. “So, Blake, where are you from? Do your parents live nearby the school?”

“I have an apartment a couple of miles from campus that I live in year-round, but I grew up in Clark.”

Her mother shot me a look as if I had just announced my plans to run off to Vegas with her daughter and elope. I got that her parents were overprotective, but Autumn was nineteen and away at college. Was it really that alarming for her to be dating someone with his own apartment? Or was it because I’d mentioned Clark, and they knew where Thomas was from?

Since I started this thing with Autumn, I felt like I was living in a parallel universe. I thought I knew her, but I was confused sometimes, blending what I knew of her as Thomas’s student and her at Cook University. Her sexual history was plastered all over the internet. I understood a lot of the stories about her had been exaggerated, but she had been with her high school boyfriend for years. Were her parents simply being naïve and deciding they were better off not knowing about their daughter’s sex life?

Her mom’s reaction worried me more than I was letting on. The stuff Autumn did in high school—I didn’t let bother me. Her classmates had posted dozens of messages listing the guys “Whorey Dorey” had screwed. Half the stuff posted on Facebook was likely bullshit, but I would never ask her about it. It wasn’t only about the fear of exposing who I was, but I was done with trying to dredge up her past.

I silenced my thoughts and tried to catch her eye. “Where do you want to go, Autumn?”

Autumn was spaced out, and it was touching to watch her with a dreamy look on her face. She seemed unaware of the growing tension in the room. She made my mouth go dry when a small smile appeared on her lips. I wanted her like crazy, and I made the same rigorous effort that I made every day to temper my body’s physical reaction to her. I wasn’t used to waiting on the physical part of a relationship. I told Autumn I was seeing only her, and I wasn’t lying. Besides, one positive personality trait I could claim was that I wasn’t a cheater.

Vivian looked as though her patience was being tested by her daughter. “Blake asked where you would like to go, Autumn.”

Autumn appeared flustered, but tried to play it off. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe Valley Amusements? They have a pizza place, bowling alley, and arcade.”

“Sounds great,” I agreed, and I was ready to bolt out the door the minute she gave me the go ahead.

“So, you play ball for Cook? How did the team do this year?” her father asked, and I forced myself to relax. Talking about football came naturally. It was also a relief for her parents to not ask too many questions about my family.

“Good, sir. We were nine and four during the season and second place in the conference.”

“Blake was MVP.” Autumn beamed widely in my direction. “He had almost two thousand rushing yards and made eighteen touchdowns.”

She caught me off guard with her recitation of my record. “How do you know that?”

“I read a couple of articles about you in the campus newspaper.” Autumn shrugged her shoulders. “You told me you were good, but I didn’t know you were crazy good.”

Her response affected me, and I felt like she was trying to send me a message. She was taking an interest in football because she cared about me. I guessed she may have tied football to my stepfather in the same way I did, but maybe we both had to cut that association.

“Do you want to borrow my black heels, Autumn? They would look nice with your pants.” Vivian’s voice was a high falsetto, and I could see the strain around her eyes although a smile stayed pinned on her face.

Autumn’s body tensed, and I guessed she picked up on the mood as well. “Sure.”

“Okay, take a walk with me upstairs to grab them.” Vivian headed toward the stairs with Autumn following behind. Vivian addressed Autumn’s dad and me. “We’ll be just a sec.”

Whatever was going on between Autumn and her mom had me itching to flee again. The dread was building as I watched them climb the stairs to the second floor. I hoped it was just my own neuroses, but I was terrified Vivian needed a moment alone with Autumn in order to convince her to dump my sorry ass.

Once the women were out of sight, I followed Carl to the living room and took a seat in the armchair while he resumed his seat on the sofa. I expected him to turn his attention back to the game on the TV, but he muted the volume and rotated his body to face me.

I shifted in my seat, not liking his scrutiny. It made me paranoid, as if he could see inside me and discover all my sins. The longer the silence stretched on, the more imagined layers he was peeling away, getting closer to my dark core.

“Stop sitting there looking like you’re about to shit your pants,” he said jovially. “I’m not going to threaten to chop your balls off if you touch my daughter.”

I barked out a laugh at his unexpected candor. It reminded me of his daughter and the way she would tell me exactly what was on her mind. “Well, thanks for that.”

“I’m sure you picked up on my wife’s attitude, and I thought I’d explain. Autumn has a tendency to attract boys who aren’t good enough for her.” His voice was tinged with sadness and it shook me up. It seemed I couldn’t stop coming across the trail of victims left behind by Thomas. “She’s trusting and kind to those who don’t deserve it. The world is full of assholes, but Autumn doesn’t want to live in that kind of world, so she believes the best in people.”

I nodded because I didn’t trust myself to speak. I wanted to be better than the people who had hurt Autumn, but how could I be when I was already betraying her trust?

Her father continued on. “All I’m going to ask is that you don’t hurt her. My wife is worried you’ll be another arrogant jock who treats Autumn like garbage. But I’m going to give you a fair shot and ask you to treat her the way she deserves.”

We wanted the same things. I had never thought of myself as a good guy, but for her, I wanted to be. “I will. When you meet a person like Autumn, it puts things in perspective. Each time I see her, I appreciate all over again how lucky I am to have such an amazing girl like her in my life. I promise that I only want Autumn happy.”

My level of honesty surprised me. But when it came down to it, Carl Dorey was a father who probably felt like he had failed to protect his daughter. He needed reassurance that she’d be safe with me. Above all else, I needed to convey that I’d do anything for her, along with an acknowledgement that she was unquestionably the best part of my world.

Chapter Ten

I had thought our night was going well once we were settled at Valley Amusements, but I understood it wasn’t to be when I returned to our table from the bathroom. I had only been gone for minutes while she waited for the pizza we had ordered from the café. She had pulled me out of my funk as soon as we arrived at the bowling alley. During the drive from her house, I had tried to ask her about what she talked about with her mom upstairs. I picked up on Autumn’s strain over my questions and abruptly changed the subject. If her mom had reservations about me, I didn’t want to bring the issue to the forefront of Autumn’s mind. Touching her and kissing her was exactly what I needed to chase away all the other dark feelings. My need for her burned hot and bright. Autumn Dorey absolutely and positively consumed my entire being.

Kissing her did funny things to me. It made me hope for futures—futures I probably had no business hoping for. It made me want to come up with outlandish schemes to stay forever inside this bubble I had created for us.

I could’ve stayed in the parking lot with my lips on hers for the rest of the night. Begrudgingly, I had allowed her to lead me into the outdated bowling alley. The place still held onto its charm despite not being redecorated since the 1970s. Scuffed linoleum was everywhere—the floors, the tables, the seats. The wood paneling on the walls also looked as though it had seen better days.

Returning to the table and finding Autumn surrounded by three guys had me seeing red instantly. She may not have been mine for good, but she was mine for the moment—and no one was taking her from me without a fight. Moving closer, I was able to make out the deep discomfort on her face, and it made me want to hit first and ask questions later.

“What’s going on?” I asked as I stalked to where she was standing.

She passed me a stricken look, and I wondered what was happening with her and the three jackasses. They looked like complete tools—tall and skinny with almost matching uniforms of jeans hanging off their asses and Abercrombie t-shirts.

One of the douches came up behind me and slapped my back as if we were old friends. My skin crawled from his touch. Before he even opened his mouth, I was ready to end him. “Is Autumn your girl? No judgment here, dude. We’ve all been there,
done that
.”

Floored by the disrespect, I almost erupted, but kept my calm for one minute longer. “I’d watch what you say next,” I replied evenly. “Because unless I hear an apology to Autumn, your teeth will end up on the floor.”

It didn’t take long to put together that Autumn went to high school with the three losers. I didn’t know the guys, but I knew their type. There were always the big talkers in the locker room who liked to brag about how much tail they got. Most of us knew the truth—the only action they were getting involved stealing a bottle of their mom’s lotion and turning on Cinemax after midnight.

The tall skinny blond of the group faced me and he puffed up in an obvious way. It was an intimidation tactic, and I almost rolled my eyes. If he thought I was backing down, he was out of his mind.

“I’m not sure what you know about Autumn, but I’ve known her for a long time. I was her boyfriend, and the bitch fucked around on me the entire time we were together….”

Fuck me,
I thought. No wonder Autumn’s parents were overprotective. The guy had crazy eyes; and, by the way he spoke, he sounded like he was still resentful over their breakup. From the second he opened his stupid mouth and called her a bitch, he was done for. I was crazy about her, and I would do crazy, fucked-up shit in order to protect her.

“If you’re her ex, then you definitely deserve at least a punch in the face,” I said, wondering where the calm was coming from, because I sure had no plans to remain so. The violent impulses were rearing up inside me, and I didn’t try to push them away. I wanted to hurt her ex, badly, not only because of his cruelty to her, but also because he was representative of every man who tried to exploit her for their own reprehensible reasons.

“I want to go,” said Autumn, trying to sound firm. “They’re looking for a fight and I don’t want to give it to them.” She was getting freaked out, and I did consider—for about a second—leaving. I was itching to get some of my pent-up anger out, but I didn’t want to upset her.

I almost opened my mouth to tell her we’d go, but the asshole’s barking laugh stopped me. “That’s funny coming from you, Autumn. Like you’re better than us.” I hated the way he was talking to her, and was continuing to be amazed that they’d dare to be so hateful in front of me, who out-weighed and out-muscled all three of them put together. Were they really so sure of themselves, and so used to kicking her when she was down, that they thought they’d get away with treating her this way? As if I wasn’t even standing here, readying myself to rip them apart? And, was I witnessing the tiniest taste of what she’d had to go through, every single day, both online and off? I knew Newpine loved my stepdad—he’d received a bunch of bullshit awards since he started teaching and coaching at the high school. But why did his students have more loyalty than I did?

“
You’re
the one who was fucking a teacher.” The guy delivered the shot to Autumn, and by the self-satisfied smile on his face, he couldn’t be happier than a pig in shit.

Judging by the look on her face, we were both shocked that he’d gone for broke, as much as he’d already insulted her. I felt like time stopped. In seconds, her ex-boyfriend had unleashed the eight hundred pound gorilla I had been keeping caged inside me. While it slowly climbed out from behind its bars and started flexing, I remained stunned into silence, and I stood frozen as he continued speaking.