3 Breaths (12 page)

I hold her hair out of the way so I can see her lips, so stretched and moist as she sucks me. Each movement is met with the twist of her grip, and after this, I’ll never have another woman’s lips on me. My balls are tight as I ask her, “Do you want my cum?”

She pulls away, still stroking me, and I place my hand over hers to cease her movements. She kneels with me on the bed and leans into my neck kissing and sucking a little along the way and says, “In my pussy.”

“What?” I ask, making sure that I heard her clearly.

“I want your cum inside my pussy. I’m on birth control, so no condom. I want to feel every bit of you.”

She takes her shirt off before leaning back. Reaching down with a free hand, she makes large circles over her pussy and I’m doomed. I’ll last about thirty seconds inside of her.

I grip my dick hard watching her like this. She begins to moan rubbing herself faster and I pull her hand away lining my cock up with her. My breathing is fast and I move slowly as I enter her body. Every inch feels more amazing than I’ve ever imagined.

Ivy grips the sheets, crying out in enjoyment, and once I am nestled all the way in, I tell her, “Don’t come, whatever you do, don’t come ’til I say so.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to enjoy you.” I back out a little and then slam into her.

“Fuck!” she screams.

“When you come, I’ll lose it, okay?”

She nods her head quickly and I hold her face in my hands. Kissing her tenderly, just like the slow long movements of my dick in and out of her. She feels so fucking good that everything inside of my body almost hurts.

Her legs are slacked to the sides and I raise myself above her, watching what my cock does to her. Every thrust bounces her perky tits. Her eyes are closed and she moves her hand, getting a hard grip on one of her nipples. “Oh fuck!” I groan as she pinches it hard.

I can’t watch her like this. Pulling out of her heavenly slit that is fiercely holding me inside of her, I flip her over. Her back is gorgeous as she arches in the sexiest way. She wiggles her ass for me and I grab a handful of it, as I guide myself back into her.

This angle is so much deeper. Squeezing her hard, I remind myself to let up and take my time. Slowing down to control the urge of coming, she wiggles, meeting my movements and I stay frozen. “Mhhh, that’s it, fuck me,” I order her. Right away she pushes upwards and is screaming on her hands and knees, “Oh my God, Krane!”

My hands can’t help but roam her body and when she starts to shake a little, like she’s about to come, I hold on to her, ceasing all movement. “Don’t come, not yet.”

She nods and lies completely still underneath me. Taking both of her hands, I pin them together above her head, and then gradually, I begin to move. With her outstretched body beneath mine and in my full control, I stroke myself just how I want.

My cum is brewing, from deep inside of me. Every nerve ending is igniting on all cylinders. “Let go,” I order her and wait for her noises to pitch. They do, right as the first shot of cum fills her, unleashing an animal from inside of me.

I pump myself into her vigorously, fiercely grunting, holding her flat against the mattress loving the way her body comes underneath mine. She rattles and shakes, holding my cock like a vice. Then when the last bit of cum leaves me, I cannot slow my movements, so I release her hands, bracing my weight by her sides and continue to smash into her.

“Oh, Krane!” she screams reaching for anything to hold on to as I come again, a violent blow filling her. Ivy lets go right along with me. Our bodies working so well together, like they were meant to be one. Both of us experience the world’s greatest pleasure, brought together by the most horrific grief, and for some strange reason we’ve found an acceptance within the boundaries of our relationship. A blessing from Zoë rings in my mind, as her words replay like a broken record, again and again.

Everything happens for a reason.

“How long do you typically run for?” Ivy asks me as we stretch at Long Beach before a run.

“Usually ’til I can’t feel my legs or breathe.”

“Shut up,” she says and swats me.

“It’s the truth,” I respond blocking her.

“I’d like to feel my legs and keep breathing, if that’s okay?”

“Well, today I would too,” I respond and kiss her on the lips. A gesture that is so new to me, but feels so right.

“Ready?”

We head down the beach, the warm sun just greeting the day. I haven’t ever been here this early, but Ivy said we had to see the sunrise. The waves crash along the shore and I look over at her running, and I couldn’t be happier.

We run for only a few minutes and then she stops and I look at her puzzled. “What?”

She points to the sun as it crests the horizon. My eyes are drawn to it and I am shocked with how fast it rises. Wrapping an arm around her, I hold Ivy close to me. Breathing in her intoxicating scent. The wind whips her ponytail and I grab it in my hand, holding it in place. I can see the smile on her face as she rests her head on my shoulder.

The sun comes fully into view and I pull her hair, turning her face towards mine. “Thank you for everything,” I tell her, needing to get that out in the open. She has done so much for me…for us.

She presses her lips against mine and looks at me with those eyes. The same eyes that made me fuck her yesterday. “Thank you.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

She smirks like she’s doing nothing wrong and goes to run off. I pull her back by the hair and say, “Don’t ever run from me.”

“I won’t.”

We continue our run, neither of us saying much, but we both are enjoying being here. In this place, a place that keeps us close to Zoë, the person whom we both love and who ultimately brought us together.

“Have you thought anymore about when you want to go to the city?” she asks me as we get back to my truck.

I shake my head, resting my hand on her door handle before I open it. “Never,” I respond. Knowing that going back there is only going to mentally fuck with me and possibly make me question everything that I am doing.

“Let’s go today?”

Looking into her eyes, I’m unable to answer. Gently I close her door and walk around to my side. Looking out at the vast ocean on the way, it’s beautiful, and for the first time since I lost Zoë, I don’t say,
until tomorrow, beautiful
. I’m not sure why the words don’t leave my mouth, but they just don’t feel necessary.

Leaving here with Ivy is like a part of me has let go of Zoë. And though it should maybe be counterintuitive, I feel her approval. Getting into the truck, Ivy is looking at me concerned and asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah. Are you serious about going to the city today?”

“If you’re ready, then I am. I know my sister and can hear what she would tell us to do. Her belongings, as much as they hold memories, they aren’t her. You and I know who she was and we have to remember what she would want. She wouldn’t want this to burden us any longer; she would want us to be happy.”

“Okay, let’s go then.” Starting up my truck, we head into the city. Ivy is absolutely correct. The apartment holds a lot of memories, but so does my head, and no one can ever take that away from me.

After an hour of driving, we arrive. Pulling into the garage for the apartment, Ivy is asleep. I put the truck in park and run my knuckles down her cheek. “Wake up, Ivy.”

She looks around the dark garage and then at me a little confused. “Did I sleep the entire drive?” she asks.

“Uh huh.”

Her stomach growls and I stall with proceeding upstairs, using the excuse. Just being back here is fucking hard. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat before we go in.” We get out of the truck and the second that my feet hit the ground, I’m taken back to the day that Zoë and I moved in. She was so happy and excited. Riding up the same elevator to the lobby with Ivy, I can’t help but get lost in my thoughts.

The doors ding and we exit into the bright and vibrant place that at one time I called home. The familiarity is hard to take in and I grab Ivy’s hand, leading her across the lobby and out the doors. The second that we hit the New York City air, my breath comes back to me.

“Why the rush?” Ivy asks as I drag her away from the building.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I respond and slow down. “I just need to eat.”

“Okay.” She walks a little faster to keep up with me and then we enter the first café that I see.

Ivy and I order and then sit outside. As we wait for our food, I’m in a cloud, haunted by so many things from the past. Things that I never thought would come back to me. Like the way the marble flooring in the building reminds me of Zoë and how it made her feel our place was over the top or how the sounds of the sirens in the distance take me back to that night. My mind swirls like a fucking tornado and I’m not sure how to stop it. Looking out at all of the people as they buzz by, Ivy takes my hand and says, “If you aren’t ready to do this, we don’t have to.”

Looking into her eyes, I appreciate the concern. She reads me well. “I…I didn’t know I was going to feel her so much going back there.”

Tears fill her eyes and she lets go of my hand. “Don’t do that,” I beg, reaching for her hand. She holds it and as we look into each other’s eyes, I’m reassured that no matter what I have to face in front of me or what obstacles are ahead of me, as long as I have Ivy, I’ll be okay.

“Krane, I’m sorry I said we should do this today.”

“Don’t be. This isn’t your fault, you’re just trying to help. It’s me. I’m all over the place. I need to remember what is real and stay grounded.”

All I can do right now is to live in the moment. I cannot get ahead of myself, because that just lets things get out of control. Each moment, each breath, each second is all I can focus on moving through.

“Krane!” my name is called out as Ivy and I leave the café and I look up to see Logan walking towards us.

“What’s up, man?” he asks energetically.

“Not much,” I respond, “You remember Ivy.” They shake hands and he looks down at our intertwined fingers, then smiles at me.

“You doing okay, brother?”

I nod and it brings him a smile. “Good. Hey, I was just headed to the gym. You should come.”

“I would, man, but we gotta get—”

“No, we don’t,” Ivy chimes in and I give her that look. “We can spare an hour.”

“For real?” Logan shouts like a girl and when I see his excitement, I feel terrible for turning my back on him. He is my best friend. We were together every day, training hard. Sometimes, I thought that he wanted me to make it even more than I did.

“Sure, man,” I add.

“The guys are gonna love seeing you.”

“You training with anyone?” I ask as the three of us start to walk together.

“Not really. I’ve mainly been helping Ethan.”

“You?”

“Nah, you know I wouldn’t do that.”

As we round the corner, the gym comes into view and it brings a smile to my face. I have so many good memories here. This was my home away from home. This place has made some great fighters and I’m proud to say that I’m one of them.

“How long did you guys train for?” Ivy asks.

Logan stops walking and looks between the two of us. “Almost four years.”

We continue on as I say, “It was a great ride. I was training for the fight of my life when we last were together, but…” I trail off. “I never made the fight.”

Logan opens the door for me and the noises invade my senses. My eyes bounce everywhere, scanning all of the faces, some I recognize, while others I don’t. Logan whistles, like he used to when I would slack off on training and my ears ring along with everyone else’s. All eyes are pulled in my direction, and when the guys I trained with for so long recognize me, I am bombarded.

“Holy shit, Hensley’s back,” Ethan, the owner, yells, and the next hour is spent reminiscing. I never realized how much I missed this place, or these guys, but I do.

“A hundred bucks says not one of you pussies can stand one round in the ring with Hensley,” Ethan challenges, and then looks at Ivy and apologizes for the pussy reference.

“I’ll have him tapping in half a round,” a guy about my size says from across the gym.