A Cowboy’s Honor (11 page)

“Mommy helped.” She pulled out a chair. “You have to sit here. It’s the father’s place. What do I do now, Mommy?”

“I think we should cook the hamburgers. Maybe Dallas could do that while I bring out the other food.”

“Sure.” He stepped onto the deck, lit the grill.

Gracie returned inside. Misty hopped across the bricks toward him.

“I’m glad you’re my daddy,” she said. “Rory doesn’t got a daddy.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Yeah.” Misty shrugged. “I gave him a hug. I know what it feels like not to have a daddy. It’s lonely.”

Dallas gathered her close, sank down on one of the chairs while they waited for the grill to heat.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for all of the other Father’s Days, Misty. I wanted to be but I just couldn’t remember.”

“I know. It’s okay.” She fiddled with his tie. “When do you think I’ll take my first riding lesson?”

From the corner of his eye, Dallas saw Gracie in the doorway, carrying a tray. She stopped suddenly, rattling some of the things on it.

“I don’t know. Maybe after lunch we could go ask Emily about it.”

“Can’t you teach me to ride a horse?”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever taught anyone to ride. We’ll ask Mommy after lunch. Okay?”

“Okay.” She wiggled out of his lap and scurried off toward the fence, humming the song she’d sung earlier.

“Is everything all right?” Dallas lifted the tray from Gracie’s hands, set it on the table.

“Yes, thanks.” She forced a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Something was wrong.

There was no time to discuss whatever it was during lunch, and after they’d cleaned up, Misty insisted on visiting Emily, who advised them that Misty could join the class the very next day.

Emily pulled Dallas aside after their chat. “You could help her by getting her used to the animals. The kids learn much quicker if they’ve had some exposure to the horses and aren’t afraid.”

As they started back to the house, Misty hung on to her parents’ hands, swinging between them. “I’m going to be behind the other kids,” she mumbled. “They’ve been taking riding lessons for a long time.”

“Why don’t we stop and check on Lady?” Dallas watched Gracie, but she kept her mask of control firmly in place.

“Can we, Mommy?”

“I guess.”

At the paddock where the horse was corralled, Dallas stuck his thumb and finger in his mouth and whistled. The mare trotted over, ears perked.

“Hello, pretty Lady,” he murmured, brushing his hand over her nose. “If you speak to them carefully and gently, horses aren’t afraid, Miss.”

“I know Patch was afraid when I was feeding him grass, but I didn’t think Lady would be afraid. Lady sounds lots bigger, Daddy.” Misty chewed on her bottom lip as if she were working a puzzle in her mind. “Are you sure Lady was afraid?”

“Pretty sure, honey. That’s why I didn’t want you two to meet until I made sure Lady knew we wanted to be friends. Sometimes people are mean to them, and horses have very good memories. They’re very careful about who they trust. Here, you can pet her neck.” He guided her hand there.

“Hello, horsey. My daddy says your name is Lady. Mine’s Misty. Oh!” She giggled as the horse nuzzled her hand. “Why’s she doing that, Daddy?”

“She’s looking for a treat. Lady likes carrots as much as you liked those fudge brownies your mom made. But Lady’s not allowed to have chocolate,” he cautioned. “It would make her very sick. Horse tummies can’t have brownies.”

“I want to feed her a carrot.”

“Keep your voice down, Miss. Horses like it better if you don’t make sudden moves or loud noises around them. Lady has to learn to trust you, just like you have to learn to trust her.”

The way your mom has to learn to trust me.

“Can I please have a carrot, Daddy?” Misty whispered in exaggerated tones.

“I’ll go get one. You stay with Dal—Daddy.” Gracie offered him a quick smile, then hurried toward her office, where she kept a small bag of carrots in the medicine fridge.

His heart did a two-step when she turned at the door, stared at him with those sky-blue eyes.

Please let us be a family soon. Please let her love me as much as I love her.

G
racie felt like a schoolgirl on her first date.

Nervous. Giddy. Hopeful.

Scared.

Which was utterly ridiculous.

She was married to the man!

But Dallas had asked Gracie to have dinner with him tonight, after Rory had shown up to invite Misty to eat at his place. And since this would be Gracie’s first date with Dallas in six years, she was on tenterhooks, wondering what he expected from it.

“Dinner is served, madam.”

Her husband bowed at the waist like the butler at Elizabeth’s ancestral ranch home. Gracie had visited her there, on the other side of Dallas, several times, and left intimidated by the grandeur of the place. Thankfully, the Bar None was nothing like that. Her little house certainly wasn’t, despite Dallas’s acting.

Gracie sat on the chair he held out for her, let him spread her napkin in her lap.

“It’s Father’s Day. I should be cooking dinner for you.”

“I’ll take you up on that next year.” His gaze promised her a future.

Dallas cleared his throat, continued. “On the menu tonight we have shrimp cocktail, a garden salad with raspberry dressing, roast chicken, whipped potatoes, French-style green beans and a savory gravy. The dessert is my surprise.”

“Sounds lovely.” She waited until he returned with the shrimp and sat down. “I had no idea you could cook like this.”

“I’m not sure I can. But the mess hall cook owed me a favor and I decided it was time for payback.” He grinned, winked. “Go ahead. Try it.”

He’d dressed the patio table with one of her good cloths, chosen glassware over Misty’s usual plastic, and selected Gracie’s mom’s two remaining china dinner plates. In the center of the table he’d placed a bowl of wild roses he’d picked on the way back from the visit with Lady, a visit Rory had interrupted.

“It looks really lovely, Dallas. Thank you.”

He reached for her hand. “Shall I say grace?”

She nodded, unable to speak.

“Lord, we thank You for this beautiful day, for Your love and for Misty. Help her to have a good time with Rory and help us enjoy these gifts You’ve given us. In Jesus’s name.” Dallas kissed Gracie’s fingertips, then let her hand go.

In the background the soft sounds of her favorite guitar music broke the silence.

“It seems I know this song.” Dallas tilted his head, hummed a few bars.

“You should. She’s your favorite guitarist. The CD is one you bought.”

“Oh.” He listened a moment longer, then picked up his fork.
“Bon appetit.”

“Do you think Misty’s okay? She hasn’t spent much time in new places—”

“Misty’s fine, Gracie.”

She wondered if Dallas was impatient with her. He didn’t look angry.

“That sun still has a lot of heat,” he stated. “I’m glad we’ve got a bit of shade here. And it’s the perfect spot to watch the sunset.”

“The sunsets here are spectacular,” she agreed. “The summer evenings aren’t nearly as long as they were at home, though. It used to stay light till almost ten o’clock on the longest day.”

“Do you miss North Dakota?”

“Sometimes. I had some good friends there who helped me through the rough parts.”

“And your father?”

Why was he asking questions about the past?

“He was a hard man. We didn’t always agree. Maybe we were too much alike.”

“Did you love him?”

Gracie froze, her fork dropping against her plate with a loud ping. “I tried,” she whispered finally, pushing away the tears. “He didn’t seem to want it.”

“I pity him, then. I think that love is a precious commodity and you should take every morsel that’s offered. Finished with that?”

“Yes. Thanks. It was delicious.” She watched him carry their dishes to the kitchen, return with salad.

“I added a couple of things myself. Can you guess what?”

“Dill. Parsley? And lots of onion.”

“How did you know?”

“The cook never uses onion in the salad because so many kids won’t eat it.” Gracie lifted an eyebrow. “And besides, you always used to love onion in your salad.”

Dallas grinned. “Still do. Did we eat out much?”

Just when she got comfortable, he shot out these questions about the past.

“In Dallas, yes. Turtleford was a little town. There weren’t many places to go. Besides, I usually cooked for my dad when I was home.”

“Did you like school?”

“Yes.”

“But all that ended when Misty came along.”

“Yes, but I went back to school, finished my classes and got my degree, though it took me longer. Besides, I don’t begrudge anything for Misty.” Worry nudged its way in again. “I hope she’s doing all right. Sometimes she doesn’t—”

“She needs other people in her life, Gracie. And we need time together, too. If a problem arises, we’ll deal with it. Okay?”

Shame rushed through her. He was trying so hard to build their relationship, and he had no memories, nothing to go on. Didn’t he ever worry?

“Sorry.” She lifted her glass. “To your great cooking.”

He clinked his against it, chuckled. “Yeah. I chop a mean dill stalk, lady.”

A comfortable silence lingered between them for a while. Gracie eventually broke it with small talk, with sharing. It was easier than she’d thought.

“I wonder if I should think about voice lessons for Misty. Until I heard that solo this morning, I never realized how good she is.”

“Elizabeth might know someone.” Dallas carried in their salad plates, returned with the main course, then sat down once more. He lifted his fork, touched the potatoes, but paused. “What happened to you this morning in church, Gracie?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“After the service. Misty talked about the trail ride and you froze like an icicle. I thought you were ready to let her try riding.”

“I am.” Gracie gulped, sipped some water to moisten her parched throat. “But…”

“Tell me. I’ll help if I can,” he promised, leaning across the table to stroke his fingers over her forearm.

“The trail ride,” she blurted.

“If you’re that much against it—”

“I’m not exactly thrilled, but I recognize that I can’t stand in her way anymore, as you so adequately pointed out.” Gracie glanced down, watched his fingers thread through hers. She lifted her lids, met his compassionate gaze. “I won’t be the reason she’s afraid. I’m trying to trust God.”

His fingers pressed hers. “Good for you.”

“But…I can’t go with her.”

“Sure you can. Other parents will be going along.” He paused, made a face. “Oh, you mean because you can’t ride.”

“I would learn to ride if it meant I could go with her. But the certification board will be here that day, Dallas. As the resident vet I have to be around to answer any questions, show my qualifications and whatever else they want. It’s a stipulation the state makes as part of the process to grant Elizabeth’s permanent license for this place. There’s no way I can ask for the day off to go on a trail ride.”

“Maybe they could change the day of the ride.”

She shook her head. “Not without disrupting the ranch’s schedule.” Cold feathered up her back, and she shivered. Gracie drew her hand from his, tasted the potatoes absently.

“There has to be a way.” Dallas stabbed his meat as if attacking the problem. “Misty will probably change her mind ten times before then, anyway. We’ll figure it out.”

“Of course we will.”

Ashamed by the pall she’d cast over his lovely meal, Gracie struggled to re-create the mood, summoning every bit of gaiety she could gather as she teased him and laughed at his silly jokes.

“I haven’t eaten this late for years. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. It was great, Dallas. Thank you.”

“We haven’t finished yet. There’s still dessert waiting.”

“Later, maybe? I’m too full right now.”

“What about coffee?”

“Sure.”

He refused to let her help clear the table. A short while later he carried out two cups, hers perfectly creamed.

“You make a mean cup of coffee,” she teased after tasting it.

He saluted. “I aim to please, ma’am.”

“Always the cowboy.” She chuckled. “I haven’t seen you in sneakers since you got those boots.”

“Sneakers?” He grinned and thrust his booted feet out in front of him. “I’m a good ol’ Texas boy.”

“I know. I used to wonder how you got on with big-city folks. Your rapport with the animals was so amazing. You seemed happiest with them.”

“Well, I probably dazzled the big boys with my charm and wit.” He shifted his chair closer, pointing out a few species of birds that fluttered in the treetops.

“Your memory in that area doesn’t seem to be damaged,” she mused. “I wish we could figure out what happened to the rest.”

“Does it matter?” He looked at her, his eyes unfathomable. “Aren’t I the same person whether I remember the past or not?”

“Do you feel the same?” Even as she asked the question, Gracie wondered what it would lead to. It was almost as if he was testing her.

“I feel like I could stay here for a long time. Not because I’m hiding but because I can help. Maybe it’s not the same work I did before, but I think I’m giving back to the ranch.”

“Of course you are. That little autistic girl had never even acknowledged her mother until you let her feed that fawn. You and the animals have done that for her.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean it. I don’t know what your plans are, but I’m sure Elizabeth would be thrilled if you decided to stay here permanently.”

“She’s got me listed on the payroll as a trainer now.” He laughed. “I have no idea what I’m training anyone to do, but it’s nice to know someone thinks I’m worth paying more. And speaking of that, I want to help out with expenses.”

“What expenses?”

“Misty’s. Yours. I can chip in, Gracie. It doesn’t cost much to stay here and there’s no place to spend money, anyway.” He reached in his pocket, handed her a check. “Here.”

She hadn’t realized it, but of course Elizabeth would have made sure he had his own account to deposit his payroll checks into. Gracie kept thinking of Dallas as needy, and he wasn’t. Not anymore. He was earning decent money, judging by the size of the check. He’d made friends on the ranch, lots of them. Next week he was supposed to go for his driver’s license.

Her heart squeezed.

“I don’t want this, Dallas.” She handed it back. “We’re fine. We don’t need anything.”

He looked as if she’d hit him. “But I want to help. It’s my job to take care of my family.” When she didn’t say anything, his jaw twitched, then hardened. “Put it in the bank then, I don’t care. But I refuse to take it back, Gracie. It’s the least I can do after six years.”

Dallas was trying to make up for the past, and she’d hurt him.

He’d done everything he could to repair the damage his absence had caused, and she’d shoved this latest offer back in his face. Was that what a wife did to her husband?

Shamed, Gracie fingered the check. “I started an account for Misty’s education,” she whispered. “We could add it to that, if you want. If we get enough she’ll be able to attend the college of her choice.”

“Fine.”

Feeling bad wasn’t enough. She had to apologize, bring that light back into Dallas’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

He gazed at the sky for a long time before facing her. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” She had to make him understand. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you do for us, Dallas. You’ve made Misty so happy. She adores you and she’s much more confident with you around.”

“And you?” His perceptive eyes pierced through her. “What do you appreciate me for?”

“Your honesty,” Gracie whispered. “The way you won’t let me back down from anything. The way you’re always there to cheer me on. The way you pointed me back to God.”

Her answers, though they came from her heart, didn’t seem to satisfy him.

“Is that all?”

“That is a great deal, Dallas. You haven’t been back that long, but you’ve impacted everyone on this ranch.”

“I’m not trying to impress anyone. I only care about what you think.”

“I think you’re a decent, honorable man who’s trying his hardest to get his life in order after a very trying time,” she murmured. “I think we’re blessed to have you back.”

He studied her for so long Gracie grew uncomfortable. “What’s really on your mind, Dallas?”

“The future. How I fit into it.” He picked up her hand, ran his fingers over the place where her wedding band should have been. “What’s in our future, Gracie?”

“I can’t answer that.”

The uncertainty in his eyes hurt to watch, so she studied the horizon.

Dallas cupped her cheek, turned her to face him. “Do you see me as your husband? Us as a family?” he asked, his voice lacking the firm conviction she’d always heard before.

“I want to.” She brushed away a mosquito. “I hope so.”

“But you’re afraid to look that far ahead, is that it?”

“You’ve dealt with a lot, Dallas. Finding out who you are, figuring out what you want to do, meeting Misty, me. It’s a lot to get through in such a short time. Soon your parents will be here and you’ll want to spend time with them, get to know them, talk about your past.”

And I’ll be left out.

“Are you sorry you married me, Gracie?”

“No,” she gasped, stunned. “Marrying you was the best thing I ever did.”

“But you wouldn’t do it again.” His mouth twisted in a wry grimace. “I see.”

“I never said that.”

“Then what are you saying?” he demanded. “Explain it to me. Bluntly.”

“I’m saying that we got married very quickly. We weren’t married that long before…before whatever happened to you took you away. We’ve been apart a long time.”

“And you’ve changed.”

“We both have changed, Dallas. But you’re here, I’m here. We have this place and this space in time to make sure that our next step will be the right one.”

“Implying our marriage wasn’t.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth.” She got up, walked to the pool fence.

“I’m sorry.” His breath warmed her ear as his arms went around her waist. “I’m pushing you too hard, I know that.”