A Cry For Hope (21 page)

“Skank!” I said, loud enough for her to hear.

Tina turned around and a smile spread across her face, while tears built up in her eyes. “Ho!” she responded, before throwing her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Hope,” she said, wiping away her tears.

“No, Tina, I’m the one that’s sorry. I should never have blown up like that. I was just having a really bad day.”

I hugged her again. We never stayed mad for long, even when we would get into knockdown, drag out fights. We couldn’t stand not speaking to one another for too long. She was there for me so much after Charlie’s death, even though I don’t remember most of it because I was in a zombie-like state. We paid for our purchases and walked outside, taking a seat on the curb. “Are you doing okay, Hope?”

“Yeah, I am,” I replied, pushing my hair behind my ear.

“Good,” she smiled. “Well, next week, you and I are going out for a girl’s night out! We need to celebrate your birthday -- no excuses!”

“That sounds great,” I said.

She took my hands in hers. “I missed my little ho ho.”

We both began to giggle. “I missed you, too.”

“I have to get going. Alex is sick and needs his antibiotics, the big baby!” she joked.

“K, tell him I hope he feels better.”

She gave me a kiss goodbye and walked off to her car. I remained sitting on the curb, staring into space. I had gotten Tina back in my life, but I was soon going to lose another friend, the one that I had begun to depend on the most. I chased away the burning in my eyes at the mere thought of it. An idea struck me as I looked through the photos once again. I quickly put my pictures away, stood up, and headed to the craft store to gather the supplies that I needed.

I pulled into the driveway and was pleasantly surprised to see Nick sitting on the front porch. “Well, well, well. What brings you here?” I asked as I got out of my car and walked up the driveway.

“Well, I kinda got kicked out of my dad’s.” He grinned.

“Oh no. What happened?”

He flashed me those dimples. “Somehow I didn’t think the bottle of wine chilling in the fridge, the perfectly set table, and the candles that he bought for the dinner he was preparing all day long was meant for me. Then when your mom showed up, it kind of confirmed it.”

We both began to laugh. “Well, you are always welcome here,” I said. I unlocked the front door and we both entered.

I quickly ran up into my bedroom and threw the bag from the craft store onto my bed. I took out the pictures, making sure I took the selfie photo of Nick and I out, then headed back down the stairs. “Check these out!” I said, tossing the envelope of pictures at Nick. I sat down next to him and watched the smile spreading on his face as he looked them over. I noticed him paying close attention to one picture in particular. I leaned over and saw that it was one that my mother had taken of him and me in front of the lake. His smile became wider as he looked at it. “You can have it if you like,” I said.

He finally turned his attention back to me. “Thanks,” he responded. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Not really. I had lunch with Jamie’s mom and overstuffed myself on French cuisine. What were you thinking?”

“Chinese?”

“I guess I could shove an eggroll down.”

I grabbed the takeout menu from the kitchen drawer and placed our order. “So how did your lunch go?” Nick asked.

“Fine…until the very end.”

“What happened?

“The ‘other woman’ came walking into the restaurant.”

“Uh oh, you didn’t behave like you were on one of those trashy talk shows, did you?” Nick grinned.

I shook my head and sighed. “Oh, Nick, she’s just beautiful. She made me feel like how I used to feel around Heather Braverman in middle school. No wonder he -.” I paused, trying to pull it together. “I mean, why would he want Raggedy Ann when he could have Barbie?”

Nick looked at me and shook his head. “Hope, don’t you ever put yourself down like that. You are a beautiful woman and anyone that can’t see that is just plain old stupid. Heather Braverman had nothing on you and I’m sure this girl doesn’t, either.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you, Nick, but I think you would have chosen this girl at the school dance over me any day.”

“Did I choose Heather Braverman over you? I may have copped a feel, but I saved my first kiss for my favorite girl.”

“Really? That was your first kiss? I have to admit that you were pretty good at it,” I giggled.

“Well, what can I say? I’m a natural.” We both began to laugh. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the top of my head. “And you know what? I wouldn’t have wanted that first kiss with any other girl.”

“Thanks, pal,” I whispered. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, wondering how the heck I was going to manage once he was gone. Just like back in eighth grade, I was going to have to get over losing my best friend all over again.

Nick and I hung out until my mother got home and he figured that it was safe to go back home. It was already after eleven, but I didn’t care. I was dying to get started on my project. I opened my closet and pulled down my box containing all of my old photographs, taking out all of the ones of Nick and me.

“Come in,” I said when I heard my mother knocking lightly on the door. I immediately stood up and grabbed one of the tea cups that she had in her hand.

“I made us some peppermint tea. Remember, this used to be your favorite when you were a little girl?”

“I still love it. Thanks,” I said as I lifted the tea cup to my lips.

“What are you doing?” my mother asked, sitting down on the floor next to me and looking over the pictures.

“I’m making a scrapbook for Nick as a going away present.”

“Oh, that’s so nice!”

“I’m really going to miss him. He’s such a good friend.” She looked at me sadly. “So how was your date?” I asked, trying to shift to a happier topic.

“It wasn’t a date,” she clarified.

“Hmmm….that’s not what I was told. I heard there were candles involved, a bottle of wine chilling, and a love-crazed man spending the whole day in the kitchen,” I teased.

My mother shook her head and laughed. “Brat!” We both began to giggle. “How was your lunch with Kate?”

“Oh, it was very nice.” I didn’t want to tell her about my little run-in with “her”. I grabbed the box containing my birthday present from Kate and took out the picture. I watched the corners of my mother’s mouth turn up as she wiped a tear from her eye.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

I took the picture from her hand and studied it closely. “You know, I think his eyes were actually bluer than Jamie’s. But there was no denying who his daddy was.” My mother placed her hand on my arm when she heard my voice cracking, while my eyes remained focused on the picture. “There’s some little girl out there who will never know what a wonderful husband he would have made one day. I’ll never know what it feels like to be a grandma. His life hadn’t even begun. Why? Why did this have to happen to him?” I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. “I’m sorry. I’m bringing you down after your perfect night,” I said, trying my best to pull it together.

“Oh, don’t be silly. I love talking about Charlie. As much as it pains me, it makes me happy, too.” I looked at her, totally confused by her response. “I’m slowly learning how to celebrate his life instead of mourning his death. I can’t wait until you can get to that point, Hope.”

I nodded, even though I knew the prospect of that ever happening for me was slim to none. I placed the picture on my dresser and stared at it for a little while longer.

We looked over the pictures scattered on my floor. I leaned over to see which picture my mother was giggling over. “Oh, my god! I forgot all about that!” I said as I looked at the picture of Nick and me from our second grade play of the Wizard of Oz. I was the scarecrow and he was the cowardly lion. The part of Dorothy was played by none other than Heather Braverman. “Oh, this one is
definitely
going in the book.”

Soon, we were beginning to do more yawning than talking. “Well, I’m beat. I’m going to bed. Good night, Hope.” She placed a kiss on my cheek and headed out the door. 

I looked around at the mess on my floor. I put all of the pictures that I had picked out on my dresser. I picked up the rest and began throwing them back in the box until I came to the one that made my heart hurt. It wasn’t one of Nick and me. It was Jamie and I when we first started dating. Back when I was his “Barbie” and he didn’t need anyone else. I crawled into bed and turned off my lamp. I tucked the picture under the covers, hoping to relive that night in my dreams.

Jamie and I had been dating for almost a month and I was in heaven. His kiss was to die for, his touch left me wanting more, and I couldn’t wait to experience what it would be like to actually make love to him. Our time together was limited. He was working at a law firm close to where he lived, which was an hour-and-a-half away, and I had started my new job, which was right by my house.  So we would really only get to spend time together on the weekends. I talked to him every day on the phone and my face would hurt from smiling. I knew that a lot of it had to do with the newness of the relationship, but there was just something about him that was different. There was a comfort level as well as a strong attraction that I had never felt before.

I was super excited when he asked me to accompany him to a work function. I prepared all week, picking out the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, and purchasing all new make-up. I wanted to look perfect for him. By the time Saturday came, I was a bundle of nerves. Patty came over and did my hair and make-up for me as I anxiously waited for him to pick me up. I told him that I would drive the hour-and-a-half to the restaurant that the function was being held at, but he insisted on picking me up. My mother had met Jamie very briefly once, but my father hadn’t…another thing that was adding to my stress level. I could tell within the first ten seconds if my dad liked a guy that I had brought home, but it wasn’t often that he did.

Patty had just finished putting on my lip gloss when I heard the doorbell ring and my heart dropped to my knees. “Wait, wait, wait! Blot your lips together!” Patty shouted as I darted out of the bathroom door and down the stairs. 

My dad was just starting to get up to answer. “I got it!” I shouted as I whisked past him. I opened the door and couldn’t contain my smile. God, he was handsome in his perfectly tailored grey suit. His suntanned skin made his hair look even blonder and his eyes even bluer. My stomach was doing cartwheels just looking at him. He could probably have any girl that he wanted and he chose me. “Hey, come in,” I said, opening the door wider.

He brushed his lips on my cheek and my insides tingled. “You look really beautiful,” he said.

“Thanks. So do you.” I shook my head and giggled. “Handsome, I mean you look really handsome.”

I took a deep breath, when I heard my dad loudly clearing his throat. “Oh, Jamie, this is my dad.”

Jamie extended his hand as I held my breath, trying to gauge my dad’s expression. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Foley.”