A Family for Christmas (3 page)

Lydia
assumed it was business. He often got business calls when they spent time
together. She didn’t care. He could work as much as he wanted, for all she
cared.

She
was planning to spend most of her time working too—once she finally got to
India.

“Those
business calls,” his mother said, tsking her tongue and then smiling at Lydia.
“You’ll have your work cut out, trying to get him to turn the phone off
sometimes.”

Lydia
smiled back, feeling a little awkward since Gabe’s parents obviously believed
theirs was a normal marriage. “I’ll do my best.”

“I’m
so happy he found someone,” Mary Alexander went on, looking back toward her
son. “We were so surprised. But so happy. After what happened—”

“Mary,”
Henry, her husband, murmured in a mild, soft tone. It sounded like a reminder
to not say more than was appropriate.

“Right,”
Mary said, looking apologetic. “Anyway, all I meant to say is that we’re so
happy Gabe will have a wife and Ellie will finally have a mama.” She patted the
girl’s shoulder. “Aren’t you happy, sweetheart?”

“Yes.”
Ellie still wasn’t smiling. Just gazing between her grandmother and Lydia with
unchildlike sobriety.

“Sorry,”
Gabe said, returning to where they were standing. “I need to get pulled into a
conference call for twenty minutes or so. Would you mind taking Ellie to Jean’s
to get a donut while I’m on the phone? Then I could meet you at the house.”

“Sure,”
Lydia said, wondering what she was going to do with this quiet girl for a
half-hour on her own. “That’s no problem. Do you want to go with me for a
donut, Ellie?”

Ellie
opened her mouth but closed it again as she looked up at her father’s face. He
was giving her a little nod. Then she said, “Okay.”

“Good.”

Lydia
didn’t dislike children. She’d always thought they were fine but not really her
thing. She’d certainly never spent much time around them, other than occasional
babysitting as a teenager.

But
she was determined to do her duty as Gabe’s wife, no matter what it entailed,
since she was getting so much out of the arrangement. So she put on a calm,
friendly demeanor as she thanked and said good-bye to Gabe’s parents and then
walked to the parking lot, where Ellie got into Lydia’s car.

“Thanks,”
Gabe said quietly, after he’d shut the door for his daughter. “You don’t mind,
do you?”

“No,
it’s fine,” Lydia told him with a smile.

“I
won’t be long.” He looked over the roof of her car to where his parents were
getting into their van. “They’re watching,” he said in a low voice.

She
had no idea why he’d said that or why it mattered, so she was completely taken
by surprise when he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips.

It
was just a brief kiss. Light. Not much of anything at all.

But
Lydia felt a rush of shocked excitement and couldn’t speak or move for a moment
afterwards.

One
part of her mind understood that his parents were observing them so Gabe was
trying to act like a fiancé would.

But
all the rest of her mind and body were screaming that he’d kissed her.

“Is
that okay?” he asked, evidently seeing something in her expression. “They think
we’re in love, and I don’t want to disappoint them again.”

She
pushed through her reaction to say in a somewhat natural tone. “Sure. Of
course. No problem.”

She
was still feeling rather rattled, though, as she got into the driver’s seat and
started her car. “You ready for a donut?”

Ellie
eyed her somberly. “Okay.”

There
wasn’t anything obvious to say next, so Lydia was quiet as she pulled the car
out of the lot and headed for the little bakery/coffee shop on Willow Park’s
quaint downtown street.

She
wondered, a little distractedly, how Gabe had disappointed his parents before.

Realizing
that Ellie was still staring at her, Lydia said cheerfully, “So what kind of
donut are you going to get?”

“Chocolate
frosting.”

“Oh,
that sounds good.”

She
waited, but Ellie didn’t have anything else to say. She still wasn’t smiling.

How
the hell was she supposed to know what to say to get the girl to relax and warm
up? She felt kind of clueless, and she clearly wasn’t getting any miraculous
insight at the moment.

She’d
spent time with Ellie before, but only in Gabe’s company, so they’d never had a
real conversation of their own.

Ellie
didn’t seem to even like her.

Lydia
was searching her mind for something light and fun to say when Ellie asked
without prelude, “Why did Dad kiss you?”

Lydia
felt just as much at a loss for words as she had by the car when Gabe had
kissed her. She had no idea what she was supposed to say to such a question.
“Well, uh, your dad and I are going to get married. He told you about that,
didn’t he?”

“Yes.”
The deep blue eyes were unnaturally cool for a child. “He told me. I didn’t
know he was going to kiss you.”

Lydia
flushed slightly, feeling ridiculously embarrassed—which was an absolutely
unreasonable reaction to a conversation with a girl. “He might sometimes,” she
said at last, continuing to glance over to check Ellie’s expression.

“Oh.”
The girl paused, as if she were thinking something through. “I don’t really
want another mom.”

Oh,
this was a terrible conversation. How could she possibly get out of it?

Lydia
was used to being efficient and no-nonsense with everyone she encountered, but she
spoke slowly, as gently as she could. “Well, I’m going to be your dad’s wife,
but that doesn’t mean I’ll be your mom.”

“My
mom left when I was really little.”

Lydia’s
hands clenched on the steering wheel. “I know she did.”

“Why
do you have to be his wife?”

“Well,
we both want to be married. I know it’s a big change for you, but I think it’s
going to be good for all of us.”

“Daddy
and I are fine by ourselves.”

Shit.
Clearly, Ellie wasn’t at all happy about the upcoming marriage, and Lydia had
no idea how to change her mind.

She
wasn’t any good with kids at all.

“I’m
sure you were fine, but maybe you can be even better. I promise I’ll never try
to take him away from you.”

They’d
reached Main Street, so Lydia slowed down to look for a parking space.

Ellie
was silent until Lydia pulled the car into a space not far from Jean’s.

Then
the girl said, “He loves me best.”

Lydia
was so uncomfortable with this conversation and so confused about what she
should say that she felt like jumping out of the car and running away. But she
turned to look Ellie in the eyes, since she realized the girl was taking this
very seriously.

She
had no idea what to say, and she had no idea what would make things worse. So
the only thing to say was what she always tried to say. The truth.

“Yes,”
she said, “Your dad loves you best.”

***

The conversation over
donuts was just as stilted and awkward as it had been in the car, but at least
eating the donuts created natural pauses in conversation.

Ellie
clearly hadn’t warmed up to her at all when they drove over to the house Gabe
had bought.

The
price of real estate was higher in Willow Park than in the surrounding areas because
the town was a popular magnet for travelers looking for quaint, small-town
charm, beautiful mountain scenery, and regional crafts and antiques. But most
of the houses in town were older and between two and four bedrooms.

The
house Gabe had bought was on one of the more prestigious streets with a huge
yard and six bedrooms. For Gabe, though, it was downsizing. The house he’d
owned in Charlotte was even bigger and more expensive.

He’d
bought this house straight-out. Hadn’t even needed a mortgage.

Lydia
didn’t know the extent of his financial worth, but he was definitely richer
than anyone else she knew.

She
didn’t really care about it one way or the other. She’d never been particularly
concerned with material things. All of this was transitory anyway, since she
was going to live in India.

Gabe
must have just pulled in a minute before them, since he was getting out of the
car as she parked.

He
was still talking on the phone, but he hung up a few seconds after he saw them.

“How
was the donut?” he asked, as Ellie scrambled out of the car and ran over to
him.

“Fine.
I had chocolate frosting.”

“We
got you one too,” Lydia said, walking over to them with the takeout bag. “Ellie
said you liked blueberry.”

“I
do. Thank you.” He looked into the bag.

“Aren’t
you going to eat it?” Ellie asked.

“Of
course.” Put on the spot, he pulled out the donut and took a bite. “Let’s go
check out the house.”

Neither
Ellie nor Lydia had been inside the house before, so he gave them the tour.

It
was built in the twenties, but it had been beautifully restored and renovated,
and even Lydia—who never suffered from house-envy much—gawked at each lovely,
spacious room.

Gabe
had invited her to help with the house-hunting, but she’d only gone on a few
token visits. It was going to be his house, after all. She would hardly be
living in it after this winter and spring. She didn’t really need to weigh in.

Ellie
had gone through the rooms on the ground floor more quickly than the adults and
was already running up the stairs.

“Be
careful,” Gabe called. “If you fall down, you’ll have to just lie there until
we catch up.”

“I
never fall down.”

He
smiled and shook his head as they walked into the kitchen—stainless steel
appliances, beautiful cherry cabinets that were done to reflect the period of
the house, and a very cool-looking countertop on the center island.

“What
is this?” she asked, running her hand across it.

“It’s
quartz.” Gabe was dressed casually in a blue shirt and tan trousers, and he
seemed to fill the room more than he should. “Micah Duncan flipped this house a
few years ago, and the couple he sold it to had to move out of the area.”

Micah
was Daniel’s brother, and she’d grown up with him. “Micah did? No wonder it
looks so great.”

“He
knows what he’s doing.” Gabe glanced over at her. “I guess he’s around your
age.”

“Yeah.
We dated in high school, actually.” She smiled, since she’d always liked Micah,
and she’d been thrilled when he finally settled down and married the girl he’d
been in love with for years.

“Did
you?”

There
was an odd timbre to the tone, so Lydia glanced over at him. She couldn’t read
anything in his expression, though. “Yeah. He’s a really great guy.”

Gabe
glanced away. “Well, he does great work. The house is in excellent shape. Do
you want to see the upstairs?”

“Sure.”

They
were heading up the stairs when Ellie came running down.

“Can
I have the room in the attic?” she asked, gazing up at her dad.

He
reached out to steady her, since she’d stopped so abruptly she wobbled a bit.
“Of course. You can have any room you want.” He looked back at Lydia and
explained, “There’s a little garret room on the third floor. It’s not really
the attic.”

Lydia
didn’t care if it was the attic or not. And she didn’t care that he’d given
Ellie her pick of rooms in the house without even asking her first.

What
she was thinking was that it was a good thing she had no expectations of
feelings to come along with this marriage.

Because
she could easily read the look in Gabe’s eyes as he looked down at his
daughter.

And
it was more than obvious that Ellie had been right in what she’d said earlier.

There
was no way any woman could have an equal place in his heart.

“If you need help,” Gabe
said, standing at the door to the dressing room in a department store, “just
open the door.”

“I
don’t need help,” Ellie said from the other side.

Lydia
was in the dressing room too, standing a little farther back from Gabe. She
could see from the opening beneath the door that Ellie had put on the long
dress with a thick lace hem they’d picked out, but the fabric kept moving so
the girl was clearly still working on the buttons.

“It’s
hard to get all the buttons if they’re in the back,” Lydia said, trying to
sound light and friendly, although she was tired and a little bored, since the
shopping trip to buy Ellie a dress for the wedding was taking longer than she’d
expected.

The
girl was nine, but she clearly had very concrete ideas about the dress she
wanted.

It
wasn’t surprising that she was a little spoiled, since it had just been Gabe
and Ellie for years. Lydia tried to remind herself of this fact and remain
patient, even as the girl rejected dress after adorable dress—all of which
looked equally nice on her.

“I
can do the buttons myself,” Ellie said from behind the door.

“Okay.”
Gabe turned and gave Lydia a half-smile. “Take your time.”

He
stepped over Lydia and leaned against the wall beside her. “I think we’re
almost done here,” he said, very low. “She seemed to like this one the best.”

Lydia
nodded, realizing that he must have recognized her impatience. “No problem.
We’re not in a hurry.”

He
raised his eyebrows with a warm irony that made her smile.

“Patience
isn’t my virtue,” she admitted softly, since he’d obviously sensed her mood.
“But it’s really fine. She should get the dress she really likes, especially
since this is going to be a big transition for her.”

“She’ll
do fine.”

Gabe
didn’t seem worried as she studied his face, noticing—and not for the first
time—how strong and masculine the square jaw, the slight stubble, the
well-chiseled cheekbones were. There was a very faint scattering of gray in his
dark hair.

He
felt solid. She liked that about him.

It
was more than evident that Ellie had hidden her displeasure about this marriage
from him, and Lydia felt uncomfortable saying anything, since it felt like she
was either tattling or complaining.

Ellie
hadn’t done anything that was genuinely naughty. She’d just made it clear that
she wished Lydia wasn’t around.

“I
got all the buttons but two,” Ellie said, opening the dressing room door.

She
looked very pretty in the feminine dress, but it didn’t appear to be hanging
right.

“Maybe
Miss Lydia can get the last two buttons for you,” Gabe said, straightening up.

Ellie
frowned. “I thought she was Aunt Lydia now.”

“Oh.
That’s right. You can call her whichever you’d like.”

They’d
had a long conversation about what Ellie should call Lydia. It would feel wrong
to Lydia for Ellie to call her some version of “mom,” so she’d said she’d
rather they not suggest that to Ellie. Gabe flatly refused to let the girl call
her just “Lydia,” which would have been Lydia’s preference, since he didn’t
allow his daughter to call adults by just their first names. So they’d
compromised on Aunt Lydia, which was frankly a little weird but was the best
they could come up with.

There
were all kinds of strange details to work out when planning for a marriage of
convenience.

Ellie
was still frowning. “I want
you
to do the buttons.”

“But
my fingers are too big to mess with little buttons like that.” Gabe caught the
girl’s eye in an expression Lydia was starting to recognize—the silent reminder
that she needed to be good.

“Okay,”
Ellie said with a frown, turning around in front of Lydia.

Lydia
saw what was wrong with the hang of the dress as the girl showed her the back.
She’d mis-buttoned a couple of the buttons, so the fabric wasn’t aligned
straight.

Lydia
squatted down and gently undid two of the buttons and re-did them.

“What
are you doing?” Ellie asked, looking back over her shoulder. “Those weren’t the
ones.”

Lydia
wasn’t about to tell the girl she’d buttoned the dress wrong. With a smile, she
replied, “I like these little pearl buttons so much I was checking them out.
Here you go—you’re all buttoned now.”

Ellie
peered at Lydia suspiciously, but then she got distracted by the dress.

“It’s
beautiful,” Lydia said, praying that this was the last dress they needed to try
on. She’d never been big on shopping—even for herself.

Ellie
peered at herself in the big mirror, turning around and inspecting the dress
from every angle.

“I
really like it,” Gabe said. “I think that’s the one.” He hadn’t shown any of
the impatience that Lydia felt, but she was sure that shopping wasn’t at the top
of his list of things to do either.

Ellie
didn’t say anything for a long time. Then she finally turned around and faced
her father. “This one is it.”

Lydia
almost slumped with relief, and she felt Gabe relax too. “Excellent,” he said.
“Let Aunt Lydia unbutton it for you, and then you can change clothes so we can
go get something for lunch.”

Lydia
didn’t like being “Aunt Lydia.” She also didn’t like being “Miss Lydia.” And it
would definitely be wrong for her to be called “Mom.”

Whatever
she was to Ellie clearly didn’t have any sort of name.

Pushing
the thought aside, she unbuttoned the dress quickly and stared at the bottom of
the dressing room door as Ellie changed clothes, recognizing every step of the
process by the inches she could see beneath the door.

When
she glanced over, she saw that Gabe was watching her.

She
had no idea what to make of his expression, so she just smiled.

He
smiled back, but it didn’t reach his eyes. She wondered what he’d been thinking
about and if he was, for some reason, unhappy with her.

She
didn’t want him to be unhappy. This marriage was the way to finally get what
she wanted. She needed to make sure she didn’t look impatient again.

“We
can add a red satin sash to the dress for the wedding,” Lydia said brightly,
when Ellie emerged, dressed in her sweater and blue corduroy pants. “That’s
what Mia is going to wear with her dress.”

Mia
was Lydia’s five-year-old niece—her brother’s daughter.

“I
like pink better.”

Shit.
Even her attempts to be friendly always seemed to backfire. “I like pink too,
but since it’s Christmas, all the flowers are going to be red. So a red sash
would match better.”

“Oh.”

“You
can have pink if you—” Lydia began. The wedding was going to be very small. No
one but family. If it meant the girl would be happy, Lydia didn’t care if her
dress didn’t match.

But
Gabe interrupted, “You like red too, don’t you, Ellie?”

“Yes.
I guess so. But I wanted a pink sash.”

“A
pink sash won’t match the flowers. So you can have a red sash or you can have
no sash. Whichever you’d like.” His voice was a little sterner than normal. Not
much, but it obviously had an impact on Ellie.

The
girl’s head dropped. “I’ll have a red sash,” she mumbled.

“All
right then.”

“It
will be really pretty,” Lydia said, feeling bad that she’d somehow gotten the
girl in trouble with her dad and not wanting Ellie to blame her for it. “We can
make it hang down really long like the dress. We can do a knot or a big bow in
the back.”

Ellie
looked up at her soberly. “Bows are for little girls.”

“Okay.
Then Mia can have the bow and you can let your sash hang down. There are
wedding dresses that are made like that sometimes. And your flowers will be red
tulips that match.”

“I
like tulips.” The girl wasn’t smiling, but she looked a little less upset.

Feeling
encouraged by this progress, Lydia said, “I do too. They’re my favorite
flowers.”

As
they stood waiting to pay, Gabe stroked Ellie’s hair. She leaned against him,
and he put his arm around her.

Lydia
felt an odd, completely irrational pang in her chest.

They
were clearly family—as close as people could get. She wasn’t part of it. She
might be marrying Gabe, but she wasn’t going to be part of this family. She
would always be an outsider.

Someone
without even a good name to be called.

It
was fine. It was what she wanted. She couldn’t have ties like this if she
wanted to devote herself to her work in India. It would only pull her away from
her calling.

This
was all part of the transitory life she would be leaving behind.

But,
still, her chest ached a little as they left the store.

***

They ate lunch at a
restaurant in the mall that had macaroni and cheese that Ellie liked, and they
were on their way out when Lydia saw familiar faces.

“Micah,”
she called, seeing the couple walking with a toddler beyond the sunglasses stand.
“Alice.”

Daniel’s
brother, Micah, turned and grinned when he saw her. He was an attractive,
rugged man with a warm smile, and his wife Alice was quiet and sweet with
beautiful, long, wavy hair that Lydia had always envied.

Lydia
liked both of them, so she was smiling for real as they approached with their
daughter, Cara.

Lydia
gave Micah and then Alice a big hug, feeling more comfortable than she had
before—since these were people she really knew and understood.

Gabe
and Ellie she didn’t really know. And she didn’t really understand them.

“We
heard the news,” Micah said, looking almost rakish as he grinned at her.
“Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”
Lydia was a little embarrassed, the way she always was when she introduced Gabe
as her fiancé, but she managed to hide it. “This is Gabe. And this is his
daughter, Ellie.”

Micah
and Gabe shook hands, and then Alice, who was chasing after Cara, waved and
said it was nice to meet him.

“Have
we met before?” Micah asked, giving Gabe a close look.

“I
don’t think so.”

“You
know Mary and Henry from church, right? He’s their son. But he’s a lot older
than us, so he was in college by the time we were in school.”

She
glanced up at Gabe and saw he’d tightened his lips, and she realized that maybe
she shouldn’t have said he was old.

She
was terrible at being a fiancée.

She
stepped over toward him and tried to think of something nice to say to temper
the “old” comment, but she couldn’t think of anything. “But he bought one of your
houses,” she added to Micah. “The one on Elm.”

“I
love that house,” Micah said, still smiling and watching them with a slightly
questioning expression.

Gabe
reached out to put an arm around Lydia, pulling her against his side with a
gesture that must look affectionate. “We love it too. You did a really good job
with it.”

Alice
had returned with Cara in tow. “So when is the wedding?” she asked, holding
Cara with one hand and pulling a stray thread from Micah’s shirt with the
other.

“December
6th,” Lydia said, feeling kind of strange in Gabe’s embrace but being sure not
to pull away. “It’s just family, though. We don’t want any big hoopla.”

“Maybe
we can do a dinner or something for you all afterwards then,” Alice said. “We
want to celebrate with you in some way. I’ll talk to Jessica about it. If you
don’t mind, of course.”

“I’m
sure that will be fine,” Lydia replied, since she couldn’t figure out any good
way to refuse. They were keeping things low-key on purpose, since it felt like
a lie to go through all the normal wedding traditions in their situation.
“Thank you for thinking about it.”

“Of
course. I’m so excited for you.”

Lydia
understood that Alice was being genuine, and that she was also surprised. It
wasn’t all that long ago that she’d told Alice straight-out that she didn’t
think she would ever get married.

She
hated people to think she was wrong like that.

“We
better get going,” Gabe said, glancing over at Ellie, who had been watching the
proceedings with typical silence. “It was good to meet you both.”

After
they said farewells, they continued walking toward the exit. Ellie walked a few
feet ahead, and Gabe kept his hand on the small of Lydia’s back.

He
gave her a strange look but didn’t say anything.

“What
is it?” she asked, since she figured it was better to keep things open between
them.

“Since
we’re supposed to be engaged, it might be a good idea for you to act as though
you like me as much as you like other people.”