A Family for Christmas (5 page)

It
wasn’t like it was a burden to spend the weekend in an upscale inn. What
everyone else expected to happen over the weekend didn’t actually have to
happen.

The
drive went quickly because she and Gabe were talking about plans for their work
in India. She was as interested in his business center as she was in her own
work, and they actually got a brainstorm for a potential project that could
give girls rescued from the brothels training for jobs.

It
was in the early stages—just ideas at this point—but Lydia was excited, and she
had a great time talking it all out with Gabe, who had the best head for
business she’d ever seen.

The
inn was a renovation of an old mansion, and it was gorgeous, set amidst the
mountain scenery and obviously very expensive.

Lydia
felt the first qualm as she pulled her bag out of the car. “They’re not going
to give us a honeymoon suite or anything, are they?” she asked, gazing up at
the white columns and wide porch.

“No.
Of course not. I got a two-bedroom suite.” Gabe looked surprised, like she’d
offended him. “What did you think?”

“Nothing,”
she said hurriedly, feeling guilty for her question. “I didn’t think you
would…I mean, sorry.”

He
gave her a half-smile and shook his head.

“Did
you have to make up some excuse about why we need two rooms?”

“No.
It’s none of their business.”

She
thought about that for a minute and decided he was right. She wasn’t sure why
she thought it was a big deal. It certainly didn’t matter whether the manager
of this inn thought they were strange for getting a two-bedroom suite for their
honeymoon.

The
manager greeted them warmly, and then a bellboy carried up their luggage. The
suite was spacious with lovely hardwood floors, a large balcony, and two
fireplaces.

Lydia
gulped, thinking about how much money Gabe must have spent on it. She’d have to
offer to chip in. Obviously, given the difference in their finances, any
contributions she made would be mostly token, but it still felt important to
her to make the gesture.

She
never wanted Gabe to mistakenly believe she thought his money was hers to use
as she liked.

Once
all the features of the room and inn were explained, the bellboy left, and Gabe
and Lydia stood in the main room, staring at each other.

Tonight
was their wedding night.

Lydia
couldn’t help but be acutely aware of the breadth of Gabe’s shoulders, the
strength of his jaw, the masculinity in the lines of his body.

He
really wouldn’t be a bad choice for a wedding night.

Not
that they were going to have sex, she reminded herself.

“Which
room do you want?” he asked at last, after staring at her the way she’d been
him.

“It
doesn’t matter. They’re both lovely.”

“Why
don’t you take the one with the tub, then? Assuming you like to take baths,
that is.”

“I
do.” She glanced toward the room decorated in shades of blue and rose. “Thank
you.”

“We
can go out for dinner, if you want. Or, if you’re tired, we can just do room
service.” He was searching her face, as if he was trying to read what she was
feeling.

“Room
service would be great. I’m really tired.” She was suddenly very
self-conscious—since she definitely didn’t want Gabe to know what she was
feeling at the moment.  She reached for the handle of her suitcase and started
rolling it toward her room. “This is a gorgeous suite. Thank you. I hope it
wasn’t too much.”

She
was mostly talking to have something to say, but when she glanced back she saw
Gabe was frowning. “Of course, it wasn’t too much.”

She
didn’t know what to say to that, so she just went to hide in her room.

She
unpacked a little, and then they ate dinner out on their private veranda. They
didn’t talk much at first, but it felt comfortable so Lydia enjoyed the quiet.

She
actually liked Gabe’s company. He seemed just as self-possessed as she was.

So
many people she knew—both men and women—felt the need to say anything to fill
silences, as if silences were some kind of threat.

Before
she realized what she was doing, she asked out of the blue, “What happened with
your wife? I mean, Michaela. If you don’t mind telling me, of course.”

Gabe
twitched in surprise, putting down his fork. But he didn’t look angry or
defensive. Just kind of tired as he gazed out at the mountain scenery. “She
didn’t want to be married to me anymore.”

He
made it sound simple, but Lydia was sure it wasn’t. “Why not?”

Maybe
the question was too pushy, but she was used to asking what she wanted to know.

“I
don’t know.” With a sigh, he turned back to look at her. “She wanted something
different out of life. I don’t think she wanted to have Ellie at all. Before
she was born, we traveled a lot and went out a lot and did a lot of
socializing. It exhausted me, but she thrived on it. Then, after Ellie was
born, our lifestyle changed. We had to settle down some, and she didn’t want to
be that person.”

“But
how could she…” For once, Lydia thought before she spoke and rephrased to
something less blunt. “But surely having Ellie would be worth the change in
lifestyle.”

“I
think so. I think so a thousand times. But evidently Michaela didn’t. She
finally just left. She fell in a love with a guy who lives the kind of life she
wants, so I guess she’s got what she wants now.”

“Shit,”
Lydia breathed. “That…sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“So
she doesn’t spend much time with Ellie?”

“Not
much. It’s sporadic. She occasionally wants to see her, but she definitely
doesn’t want the responsibility.”

“I’m
really sorry you had to go through all that.”

He
gave a shrug. “It happens.”

She
could tell it had been really hard on him, despite his laidback attitude. “So
you never thought about getting married again?”

He
shot her a quick look, but evidently relaxed at what he saw on her face. “No.
It just didn’t seem worth it. To go through all that again.”

She
could understand why he would think that. She would probably think the same
thing.

“What
about you?” he asked.

“What
about me?”

“Why
didn’t you ever get married?”

She
gave a little shrug, kind of like how he had earlier. “It just didn’t happen
for me. Guys don’t even ask me out much anymore.”

He
chuckled softly. “That might be because you intimidate them.”

“What
do you mean?”

“You’re
so confident and capable—and you don’t seem to
need
a man, if you get
what I’m saying. You’re probably intimidating to most men.”

She
thought about that for a minute, wondering if he was right. She’d been popular
in high school and college, but her appeal as a date seemed to have diminished
as the years went by. Then she shrugged it off because it didn’t really matter.
“I’m married now,” she said with a grin, “so I guess we don’t have to worry
about it anymore.”

“I
guess not.”

They
held gazes for a minute, before they looked away. The look was confusing
somehow. She wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Since
they were done with their food, Lydia stood up. “It’s a great view, but it’s a
little chilly out here, so I guess I’ll head inside.”

“Sounds
good.”

Deciding
some alone time would be nice, she went to her room to take a bath.

The
tub was a huge and jetted, and she had a very nice, relaxing soak. Afterwards,
she put on lounge pants and a long belted sweater, since it was comfortable but
still looked like real clothes. She assumed Gabe was still up, and she didn’t
want to go out in her pajamas.

Gabe
must have showered too because he wore black pajama pants and a white t-shirt.
He was standing next to a room service tray on which was a bucket of chilled
champagne.

He
glanced back at her as she approached. “They sent it up to us,” he said, “because
they realized it was our honeymoon.”

“Oh.”
She came over to stand beside him, staring at the bottle and crystal flutes. “I
guess there’s no sense in letting it go to waste.”

“Definitely
not.” He smiled at her as he started to uncork the bottle. “How was your bath?”

“Nice.
It’s a fantastic tub. This is all so nice.”

“Good.
I’m glad you like it.” His eyes were resting on her face, and she had no idea
what the expression meant.

She
felt strangely shy as she accepted a glass of champagne and sipped it.  Gabe
somehow looked even more attractive than he had earlier in his wedding suit.
Now, he looked relaxed, slightly rumbled, domestic.

Like
there was nothing more than a thin layer of fabric keeping her from his body.

She
suddenly wanted to touch his body.

She
had no idea what was going on with her, since she hadn’t been inordinately
troubled in that way in the past. But now she was actually having to stop
herself from reaching out to stroke her hands over his chest.

“What
are you thinking?” he asked, sipping his own glass. They were both still
standing near the cart.

There
was no way in hell she was going to tell him what she was thinking. “Nothing.
Just that it’s a little strange. To be married, I mean.”

“I
know.” He gave her that small, whimsical smile she liked. “But I think we’ll
get used to it.”

“Yeah.
I’m sure we will. Did you call to check on Ellie?”

“She’s
doing fine. They took her out for pizza for dinner, so that made her happy.”

“Good.”
She couldn’t help but notice the dark stubble on his jaw. She couldn’t help but
wonder how it would feel against her palm. Her eyes drifted down to his lean
hips and strong thighs.

She
wondered if it ever crossed his mind to be aroused by her. She wasn’t any sort
of beauty queen, but she wasn’t bad looking. Surely she was capable of turning
a man on.

Not
that she’d ever tried.

They
were married. This was their wedding night. There was really no reason why they
shouldn’t have sex.

He’d
said it was a standing offer.

She
could just ask for it.

She
opened her mouth but no sound came out. The words got stuck in her throat.

She
was used to saying exactly what she thought, but there was absolutely no way
she could bring herself to ask Gabe for sex.

“Well,
I think I’m going to try to get some work done,” he said, topping off his
glass.

“Work?
Seriously?”

“Yeah.
I can’t call or email anyone, since they would think it was strange on my
wedding night, but I’ve got other work I can do. Just let me know if you need
anything.”

She
stared at him as he walked across the living area and into his bedroom. He
closed the door behind him.

She
sighed, slumping down slightly.

What
had she expected? They’d agreed they wouldn’t have sex. She could hardly expect
him to make a move on her anyway.

Well,
some men might have, but not Gabe. He really was a gentleman.

Plus,
he hadn’t seemed all that attracted to her.

Plus,
he’d gotten really burned before and wasn’t going to open himself up with
another women.

Plus,
none of it really mattered because, in a few months, she’d be in India.

She
filled her glass of champagne and went to watch TV in her bedroom.

Happy
wedding night to her.

Lydia pushed around eggs
in a pan and tried to stay awake.

It
was just six-thirty in the morning, but Gabe and Ellie always seemed to get up
early, and she thought it would be nice to fix breakfast on their first day
back from their “honeymoon” weekend.

The
weekend hadn’t been miserable. It hadn’t been particularly good, but she
shouldn’t have expected it to be. Gabe worked most of the time, although they
did spend one afternoon hiking and one afternoon at the Biltmore Estate.

He
was still wrapping up stuff with his company, but there was very little she
could do herself. She’d made some notes on the possible business project for
the rescued girls—maybe jewelry or some sort of craft—and otherwise she read or
watched TV or worked out.

It
was relaxing, but she was happy when the weekend was over and they returned to
Willow Park.

Gabe
was perfectly polite, and being in such close quarters with him kept building
her attraction for him—but he still sometimes felt like an intimate stranger.

She
occasionally tried to bring up more personal topics—like their conversation on
the veranda—but he didn’t open up like that to her again.

She
told herself not to be annoyed or impatient. While it might be nice if they
could be friends, it wasn’t necessary for their arrangement. And maybe it would
just take more time.

Her
eggs were starting to scramble when a voice behind her said, “What are you
doing?”

She
turned around to see Ellie, who was fully dressed in jeans, a snowflake
sweater, and two long braids.

No
lounging around in her pajamas for Ellie. Lydia felt a little sloppy in her
flannel pants, sweatshirt, and unbrushed hair.

“I’m
making breakfast,” she said, smiling at the girl as brightly as she could. “You
like eggs and bacon, don’t you?”

Ellie
didn’t answer. Just peered at the stovetop suspiciously.

“Do
you want some orange juice?”

“I’ll
get it.” Ellie stepped in front of Lydia on her way to the refrigerator, so
Lydia let the girl grab the container and pour for herself.

The
girl then went to sit down at the table with her juice.

Trying
to think of a topic of conversation, Lydia asked, “So how was your weekend with
your grandparents? Did you do anything fun?”

Again,
Ellie ignored the question. “Where’s Daddy?”

“He
was in his room earlier, but I’m sure he’ll be down soon.”

She’d
heard the shower running as she’d been on her way out and had to force from her
mind the vision of Gabe naked in the shower.

“Oh.”

“So
did you do anything fun with your Grandma and Grandpa this weekend?” Lydia
tried again, blotting the bacon with a paper towel.

Hopefully,
Gabe would be down soon, or her valiant attempt to be nice would go to waste
because the food would be cold.

When
Ellie didn’t answer, Lydia glanced over her shoulder. The girl was frowning
down at her glass of juice.

This
was hopeless. The girl was never going to like her, and she was absolutely
clueless about what to do to change it.

“Ellie,
you were asked a question,” Gabe said, as he walked into the kitchen. There was
the slightest sternness in his voice.

Ellie
gave a little jerk of surprise at the sight of her father. “Sorry.” She took a
deep breath and said, not looking at Lydia. “We went to the park and to church
and to a big toy store in Dalton.”

“Oh,
that sounds like fun.” Lydia made sure to smile, but she felt uncomfortable
because now Ellie would think she’d gotten her in trouble with her dad.

She
plated up eggs, toast, and bacon and brought two plates to the table.

“Thanks
for cooking,” Gabe said, filling a mug with coffee. “You didn’t have to do
that.”

“I’m
happy to.” She smiled at him and smiled at Ellie, even though she was already
exhausted for the day.

This
marriage-of-convenience thing wasn’t as easy as she would have expected. They’d
worked all kinds of stuff out beforehand, but there were so many little things
she never would have thought to plan for.

Gabe
prayed before they started eating, and then she and Gabe talked about what they
were going to do today.

Lydia
had some more boxes to unpack, and Gabe had some things come up with his
company that needed addressing.

“What
did you want to do today?” Lydia asked, since Ellie was just frowning down at
her plate, pushing her food around.

Ellie
gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Answer
with words,” Gabe murmured, that same edge of sternness in his tone.

“I
don’t know.” The girl shot Lydia a look that proved she wasn’t happy with her.
“Read, I guess.”

Lydia
started to ask what she was reading, but then she just gave up. No use in
torturing the poor girl with a conversation she clearly didn’t want to have.

She
was spreading jelly on her toast when she noticed Gabe giving Ellie a focused,
intentional look.

She
wasn’t sure what it meant until Ellie turned her fork the right way and started
to eat her food instead of pushing it around.

Suddenly,
Lydia felt so uncomfortable that she had to fight the urge to just leave the
room.

She’d
never wanted this—this kind of domestic scene, breakfast with a man and child.

It
wasn’t her, and it wasn’t like she was any good at it anyway.

No
one looked particularly happy this morning.

Instead
of brooding, she let out a breath and told herself it was just temporary.

She
could deal with anything, as long as there was light at the end of the tunnel.

***

Later that day, Lydia was
organizing books on a big bookcase in the family room.

Gabe
had already put some of his books there, but there were plenty of shelves left
for hers. She had a fairly large collection, and there was no way she could
take them all to India with her, so she might as well get them organized here.

Gabe
had taken Ellie out to lunch earlier, and Lydia had used the excuse of being on
a roll with unpacking and not wanting to stop, so at least she’d been saved
from that uncomfortableness.

Now
both Gabe and Ellie were in his office, so Lydia was able to work in peace.

She
was, at least, until she heard a knock on the door.

She
went to answer it and discovered Jessica—Daniel’s wife—on the doorstep with a
casserole dish.

“Hey,”
Lydia said, returning Jessica’s smile. “Come on in.”

“Sorry
to just barge in,” Jessica explained, carrying the dish into the kitchen and
putting it on a counter as she talked. “But I was so focused on making this
without messing it up that I didn’t even think about calling first until I
pulled into the driveway.”

Lydia
laughed. “It’s no problem at all. Did you manage it without messing up?”

“I
think so.” Jessica pulled away the cover and peered down at what looked like a
poppyseed chicken casserole. “It looks okay, doesn’t it?”

“It
looks great. You didn’t have to make it.”

“I
wanted to. I’m sure you have enough to do, trying to settle in and then all the
preparations for going to India.” Jessica had dark blond hair, blue eyes, and a
tall, slim figure. Right now, however, she was visibly pregnant. She had been
in Lydia’s grade all through school, but they’d never been really close—since
Jessica was quiet and bookish and Lydia had always been involved in sports and
student council.

But
Lydia liked her. And she knew her. It was nice to be with someone comfortable.

“There’s
actually not that much for me to be doing yet,” Lydia said. She gestured toward
the family room, which connected with the kitchen. “I’m finishing up some
books, but then the house will be in order. I might do some yard work—there’s a
bunch of branches and stuff that needs clearing out—but otherwise I’ll have to
make up things to do.”

“This
house is gorgeous,” Jessica said, looking around at the beautiful kitchen and
family room.

“Micah
did it a couple of years ago. He always does a good job.”

“Yeah.
So what are you going to do to fill your time until you leave for India then?”

“I
don’t know. I might look around for volunteer work. I was actually wondering if
I should get some sort of job, but who’s going to want to hire me for four
months?”

“I
don’t know. Maybe Gabe has something for you to do. Daniel said he’s scrambling
to tie up loose ends with his company before the summer.”

Lydia
hadn’t thought about that. She wondered if there might be something she could
help him with. She was pretty smart, and she’d been through law school. She
wasn’t used to having no purpose at all.

“Where
is he, by the way?” Jessica added.

“He’s
in his office with Ellie. You should say hello while you’re here.”

They
walked down the hall toward the office, which was at the back of the house. The
door was shut, so Lydia automatically raised her hand to knock on it.

Then
she wondered if Jessica would think it was strange that she knocked on a door
in her own home.

“Just
in case he’s on the phone,” Lydia murmured, using the only explanation she
could think of for the knock.

“Come,”
Gabe called from inside.

He
sounded brusque, business-like.

Not
like an adoring newlywed husband.

Jessica
appeared to be hiding a smile when Lydia swung the door open.

Gabe
was at his desk, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, staring down at papers that were
spread out all over his desk, gripping a pen in his hand.

Ellie
was sitting at a chair that was pulled up in front of the credenza, staring
down at a spiral-bound notebook opened in front of her, gripping a pen in her
hand.

Lydia
almost chuckled at how exactly alike they looked. Then she said, “Gabe, Jessica
stopped by with a casserole.”

Gabe
blinked over at them, his eyes appearing more heavy-lidded than normal, as if
he could barely pull his focus away from his work. “Oh. Thank you. Hi,
Jessica.” He put his pen down and started to get up.

“Hi.
Please don’t get up. I can’t stay long. Just thought I’d save you all from the
trouble of fixing dinner.”

“We
appreciate it,” Lydia said.

“Yes,
thank you.” Gabe glanced over at his daughter, who was still focused on writing
in her notebook. “Ellie, say hello to Mrs. Duncan and thank her for the dinner
she made for us.”

Ellie
looked up, and then smiled. “Thank you!” She sounded almost genuine. Much more
genuine than she ever sounded with Lydia.

“You’re
welcome. What are you working on so hard in here?”

“I’m
writing a story.”

“Is
that for school?” Jessica asked.

“No.
My school is over until after Christmas. I’m writing a story for fun.”

“Oh,
wow. That sounds great. Maybe you’ll let me read it when you’re done.”

“Maybe.”

Ridiculously,
Lydia was almost jealous over this pleasant conversation. Why couldn’t Ellie
respond to her that way? She was the one who had to live with her, after all.

She
smothered a sigh and showed Jessica to the door.

“That
looks familiar,” Jessica said, nodding back toward the office and idly rubbing
her rounded belly.

“What
does?”

“Him.
In the office that way with the door closed. Not that Daniel had a daughter
with him, but still…” Jessica sighed. “Don’t let him stay in there all the
time.”

Lydia
felt a strange little jump in her chest. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe
I’m wrong, but if he’s anything like Daniel, he’ll want to hide in there. Don’t
let him hide from you.”

Lydia
suddenly felt uncomfortable again. Jessica didn’t have a weird
marriage-of-convenience. She had a wonderful marriage with a man who adored
her—whose adoration was obvious for all to see. Lydia wasn’t in the same situation.
And, the truth was, she didn’t mind if Gabe hid in his office, since it meant
she didn’t have to try to make pleasant conversation and pretend that their
situation was normal.

***

The following week, Lydia
was doing some research on jewelry-making in India when Gabe knocked on her
bedroom door.

Her
bedroom was large, with a sunny nook where she’d put a comfortable chair and
her laptop. It was a very nice place to work.

She’d
been spending a lot of time there, since it felt private, like she could relax
and just be herself.

The
rest of the time, she was trying to cook meals, take Ellie on errands, and
clean up around the house. Gabe wasn’t a slob or anything, but he was obviously
really busy with his work. Lydia wasn’t. She thought it was reasonable to make
an extra effort right now, just to prove that she was doing her part in the
marriage. And Gabe seemed to accept it without question.