A Family of Their Own (4 page)

The evening hadn’t started out well. When the hostess seated them, he had tried to manipulate Peyton in the middle beside Lucy, but she withdrew and sat beside him on the end. Kelsey took the seat next to him while Lucy sat on the other end—two girls like bookends. He hoped Peyton would brighten at their next stop, a surprise he thought she’d enjoy.

Having Kelsey beside him reminded him how nice it was to be a couple. They laughed and chatted like old friends, and he had a difficult time realizing they’d only met a short time ago. She fit into his life, and if the girls became friends, she could likely become a good friend. When he gazed at her profile, his pulse tripped. Connecting with a woman in such a natural way turned his life around. Ross spent his days concentrating on and worrying about Peyton, and Kelsey had
become a needed distraction. A beautiful and amazing distraction.

She angled his way, her eyes catching his, and his pulse did more than trip. He hoped nothing went wrong with their friendship, but he’d prayed for his wife and for Peyton, too. God seemed to pick and choose which prayers He would answer.

The chef’s eyes caught his, and he leaned closer. “Is this the birthday girl?”

Ross nodded, and the man gave him a subtle wink.

Along with the other vegetables, the chef had placed thick slices of onion on the huge griddle, and while he chopped some of them, he allowed a few to grill. Within moments, he began selecting the onion rings from large to smaller, forming a cone. Lucy craned her neck to watch, and he nudged Peyton. “I think he’s doing this for you.”

She gazed up at him, her hazel eyes brighter than they’d been.

They watched him pour a liquid into the center of the rings and then turn to Peyton. “We don’t have birthday candles, but I’ve made you a birthday volcano.” He struck a match, held it over the center of the cone and a large flame shot from the top. Everyone at the table oohed, and Kelsey broke into the happy-birthday song. He and Lucy joined in, along with the chef and strangers sitting at their table surrounding the grill. Peyton beamed at the special attention, and it did his heart good.

She hadn’t said thank you, but she’d smiled, and the chef smiled back as he went from plate to plate with the vegetables before he prepared the meat.

Lucy leaned across her mother. “That was neat. Better than a birthday cake, right, Peyton?”

Peyton only nodded.

Lucy settled back in her chair, and Ross sent up a prayer
that the Lord intervene in a big way as the evening went on, or tonight could be a total bust.

Kelsey watched the girls moving from exhibit to exhibit, delving into every hands-on physics experiment they ran across. Never having visited the Cranbrook Institute of Science, now she wished she’d brought Lucy here before. The place amazed her and delighted Lucy.

As the girls examined the equipment, learning how matter works, she’d found a bench and rested her feet. For some dumb reason, she’d worn pumps. But then dinner meant sitting. She grinned, recalling that Ross had stressed that the evening wouldn’t end with their meal.

As always, Lucy’s curiosity whetted her appetite not to miss a thing. She’d taken in all of the Cape Farewell exhibit, and wherever they went, Lucy had tried to engage Peyton, but the girl who rarely smiled seemed to withdraw into herself the more Lucy tried. Lucy’s disappointment showed, and Kelsey’s heart wrenched for Peyton as well as Ross. He’d tried so hard to engross her in conversation with Lucy numerous times without success.

Though the evening hadn’t been a disaster, Ross had obviously hoped for much more. Kelsey beckoned to him, seeing stress growing on his face.

He sidled next to her and released a lengthy sigh. “Sorry about the evening. As I said, Peyton has her moody times, and today seems to be one of them.”

“You’ve given her a great birthday celebration so don’t beat yourself up.”

“I know, but—”

She touched his arm. “Was it us? Is she distant because we’re here?”

He patted the back of her hand. “I really don’t think so. At home she’s often the same way. She stays in her room.” He
pursed his lips, as if trying to bottle his emotions. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

She lifted her other hand and covered his, wishing she had Solomon’s wisdom. “Have you discussed Peyton’s behavior with her? You said some very meaningful things when you told me about her problems.” She lifted her hand and pressed it against his cheek, seeing his good looks tense with disappointment. “Think of times you’ve been rebuffed or you felt out of it in a crowd. It’s so easy to step back so you won’t experience those feelings again. We protect ourselves that way.” She lowered her hand. “Maybe Peyton doesn’t understand why she feels the way she does.”

“It’s a defense mechanism, one we all use at times.” He rubbed his temple. “But if she never tries, she’ll never realize that she can make friends.”

His eyes captured hers with a desperate look that tore at her heart.

“She needs a woman’s love, and though my mom is so good to Peyton, that’s about all the female contact she has. I have no siblings, so Peyton has no aunts or cousins. It’s tragic in a way.”

Her mind spun. “I see why you’re frustrated.”

“If she’d give you and Lucy a chance, you could make a difference for her.” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

His comment jolted her. Was that what the friendship meant to him? She tried to let the thought slip from her mind but couldn’t. “I’m not sure I like—”

Ross’s eyes bolted open. “What I said was crude. Please don’t think that I’m befriending you only because of Peyton.”

Though she weighed her words, Kelsey let them fly. “I wondered.” Better to end the friendship now, than to be hurt.

He shifted on the bench to face her. “Can I be honest?”

“I’d like that more than anything.”

“I’m not good at this, but I’ll try to explain. I like you. Really like you. You’re a beautiful woman, but you mean
more to me than what’s on the outside. I like your common sense. I like your bravery. When we’re not stressed, you make me laugh.”

“You’ve given me a few chuckles, too.” A strong need to lighten the moment struck Kelsey. He’d been through enough today.

“Let me finish. I haven’t had a social life since Ruthie died. First I wasn’t ready, and then Peyton was diagnosed—”

“What happened to your wife? Are you divor—”

“She died.”

Died.
The word sank to Kelsey’s stomach.

“She died from cardiomyopathy. The same disease Peyton has.”

She gasped. The news struck her hard. “Ross, that’s too much for anyone. No wonder you’re struggling.”

“Peyton’s illness was caught sooner. I recognized the symptoms, and though I tried to pretend they weren’t there, I faced it. We have hope with Peyton. God willing, lots of hope.”

Kelsey captured his hands in hers. “I’ll pray for you and Peyton every day. I realize we’re new friends, but I’m sick at heart learning this.”

“To be honest, I hate to tell people. I don’t want sympathy or pity. I’m strong and capable.”

“You are. I can see that, but you can accept people’s understanding.”

His head bobbed in agreement. “That’s important.”

“Mom, did you see what I did with that ball?” Lucy bounded to their sides, pointing at one of the experiments.

“No, I’m sorry. I missed what you did.” She glanced at Ross, sensing that their conversation had stopped at a bad time.

Lucy beckoned to her. “I’ll show you.”

Ross rose as he checked his watch. “I have one more surprise for you girls.”

Lucy bounced on her toes. “Another surprise?”

His valiant effort to stay positive warmed Kelsey’s heart.

“We’re going to see a show called Space Park in the planetarium. It’s 3-D projections choreographed to music.” He rose and swiveled around, searching for Peyton. When she glanced his way, he waved to her. “We should get in line or we’ll miss it.”

“Speaking of missing it…” Kelsey opened her purse. “We have a present for Peyton.”

Peyton arrived in time to hear her, and a glint of interest flashed in her eyes. “A present?”

“Yes, a birthday present.” Kelsey eyed Ross. “Do we have one minute?”

He nodded as she dug into her bag and pulled out a small, gift-wrapped box. She handed it to Peyton. “Happy birthday.”

Lucy snuggled in beside her. “I hope you like it.”

Peyton tore off the paper, and Kelsey stooped and cleared it from the floor, along with the ribbon, while Peyton opened the lid and looked inside. “Daddy.” She held it up.

He grasped the box and looked inside. “That’s your birthstone. Amethyst. It’s beautiful.”

He returned it to her. “Would you like to wear it?”

She nodded, and he unhooked the heart-shaped pendant from the flaps and fastened it around her neck. “It’s a heart for Valentine’s day.”

Lucy peered at it. “It’s pretty.” She eyed Kelsey. “I’d like a birthstone, too.”

“Yours would be different, though.”

Peyton’s comment surprised Kelsey. “She’s right, Lucy. Your birthstone is sapphire.”

Lucy looked puzzled.

“That’s a bright blue.” Kelsey looked around the room for something that color.

“Sapphire like your eyes.” Ross tilted Lucy’s chin and grinned. “The same as your mom’s.”

Kelsey’s pulse fluttered.

“Sapphire.” Lucy peered into her mother’s eyes. “I love blue.”

Peyton fingered her necklace. “I like purple.”

Ross jumped in. “Well, I like purple and blue.”

Kelsey gave him a poke, hearing sarcasm in his voice. She feared that he had had enough. “What did your daddy give you for your birthday?” A new topic was in order.

“Three books to add to my Nancy Drew collection and a gift card for Macy’s for some new clothes.”

Lucy leaned against Kelsey. “Mom, I need some new clothes.”

Her expression disappointed Kelsey. Lucy rarely showed envy as she did tonight. Instead of a comment, she gazed at her watch.

“We’d better get in line or we’ll miss the show,” Ross said.

She followed Ross, but her mind stayed with her worry—the girls’ competition. Purple. Blue. Maybe rivalry was natural. Lucy sometimes butted heads with Cooper, but two girls the same age should have a few things in common. These two seemed to be at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Ross would do anything for Peyton. She would do anything for Lucy. So where did that leave her and Ross? At opposite ends, too?

K
elsey’s spine knotted with anticipation, waiting to open the MOSK meeting. She pushed back her shoulders and pulled them forward, hoping to relieve the stress. Despite reservations, she’d settled her mind to her mission. She had to, now that she’d met Ross and understood his need.

Her gaze drifted over the women, recalculating a way to approach the topic without laying too much out in the open. She’d almost hoped Lexie wouldn’t attend, because she knew too much about the situation, and Kelsey knew she’d feel guilty if she didn’t put everything on the table. Facts, feelings and familiarity. Maybe that was the problem. Being too close to Ross and her roiling emotions may have undermined her wisdom and skewed her ability to see all sides of the issue.

The clock hand ticked past the hour, and a couple of women eyed their watches. She had to begin. The agenda gave her time to think through her points, and she hoped by the end of their sharing time, she would have the right words.

Kelsey clapped her hands together and managed a grin. “I’m glad to see so many of you here today. We have some things to talk about, but first, we begin by sharing.” She shifted her gaze to the back of the room. “I see a couple of visitors with us. Welcome. If you have questions, please ask.
We’re here to support each other in any way we can. Now—” she gestured toward the seating arrangement “—let’s scoot our chairs around to form a circle today. It’s nice when we can see everyone.”

The women shifted—some standing and moving their seats and others wiggling their chairs into position. When they’d formed a ragged circle, she turned to Ava.

“Ava, why don’t you start? Tell us about your week, and introduce yourself to our guests.”

Ava raised her hand with a wave, as if wanting to make sure everyone knew who she was, and began. “I’m Ava Darnell, a single mom. My son, Brandon, has Hodgkin’s lymphoma. He’s fourteen.” She gazed at the women in the back of the room as muffled sounds of compassion rippled toward her. “We had good news this week. This round, we had an excellent report. His blood tests showed a little improvement, and he has more energy than he’s had in a long time.”

Words of assurance echoed through the room before the next mom began her news, but Kelsey’s attention slipped into her thoughts and the voices faded. Though she tried to focus, she was concentrating on her goal for the meeting.

Ross’s image had rattled through her mind since Peyton’s birthday. He wanted so much for his daughter, but until Peyton was willing to give and take a chance, Ross’s hopes would never come to fruition. Ideas kept coming, but how could she step in and influence changes? Her actions would result in resentment from Peyton and Ross. She would make Ross feel like a failure as a dad, and he wasn’t. Ross gave so much. She saw it in his face and his actions. He tried so hard it broke her heart.

Lucy’s disappointment made her sad, too. She’d wanted her to be friends with Peyton, but the girl didn’t budge toward acceptance at all. She’d reacted the opposite and thwarted everyone’s efforts to extend her a happy birthday. Kelsey refused to put Lucy through that again.

But then she envisioned Peyton. Lonely. Lost. Forlorn. An ache flared in Kelsey’s chest. She would talk with Lucy and explain. Lucy could take it. She was strong and kind.

Kelsey’s attention snapped back to the women. She’d missed the guests’ introductions, and guilt assailed her. A moderator needed to focus and be on top of things. She rose and managed a pleasant smile. “Thanks everyone for sharing from your heart, especially our visitors.” She scanned the faces. “Did we miss anyone?” She would have known had she paid attention.

Blank looks stared back. She’d goofed. “I mean, do we have any other thoughts?”

Some heads nodded no. Others swiveled to scan the room.

“Then, it’s time to move on. We have two topics today. One has to do with a fundraiser we’d like to sponsor to help our members who are having financial problems. The other is one I’d like to bring up…again.”

Expressions changed when she added
again.

“So let me offer this now as food for thought.” She lifted her shoulders and dragged in a lengthy breath. “A while ago we voted on whether we should allow men to join this organization. Most of us are single parents, but some are married. The consensus was that men want to ‘do’ rather than ‘talk.’ Most of us agreed.”

Heads nodded and rumblings of examples buzzed among them.

“That’s why I’m here,” one of the guests said. “My husband puts his head in the sand. He doesn’t want to face what our daughter is going through. He deals with the information but not the pain we’re all feeling.”

Kelsey nodded, wishing someone would come up with an illustration to support a man’s need to be open. “That’s what we agreed on.” Ross’s words filled her mind. “But recently I’ve met a man who is interested in a support group, and ours fits his time, schedule and location. I challenged him with
the same things you’re saying. Men don’t want to talk about their feelings. They want action. They want to do something. And his response took the wind out of me.” She surveyed the room, hoping her next words would touch them as they had her. “He said that when a man has a sick child there’s little he can do.”

An intake of breath dotted the room. Some women squirmed, gazing at the ceiling or the floor, anywhere but at each other. “He said more. He said it’s hard to open up, but he thought he would benefit from hearing others’ struggles and knowing he’s not alone. And he thought he could learn from others’ experiences.”

Ava jumped in. “We do learn from each other’s situations. It’s taught me how to handle my grief and what to be grateful for. It’s easy to forget the good when we’re dealing with so much bad.”

Kelsey wanted to hug Ava. “I voted against men, too, but I’ve seen a different side of it now, and I realize that many single men have no one to talk with. They can’t show their feelings to their friends or coworkers because they don’t want to look weak. Where can they turn?”

“To groups like this.”

Lexie’s voice surprised her.

“Sorry, I’m late.” She pulled her shoulder from the doorframe and stepped into the room. “I’ve thought about this lately, too. Originally I was against it, but my feelings have changed since I met the man Kelsey’s talking about. And I’m sure he’s not the only one. We’re all parents. We love our kids whether we’re fathers or mothers. We all need support.”

“Thanks, Lexie.” Kelsey’s heart surged with her friend’s encouragement. “I’m not asking you to vote today. But I’m asking you to think about it during the week. Put yourself in a father’s position, and we’ll vote on it next week. Decide with your heart what’s best for all of us dealing with seriously ill children.”

Her hands trembled as she lowered them to her sides. “Now, let’s hear about the fundraiser idea.” She slipped into a chair, waiting for the tension to fade. Nothing would please her more than to tell Ross the group had opened the door to him and other men who loved their sick kids and needed support.
Lord, please, give us an answer. If it’s not our door, open another one. Help us to show compassion.

Ross stood outside Ethan’s office door, grasping for courage to open it and talk. He liked Kelsey more than he wanted to admit, but his brain told him he was heading for trouble. But how could he explain it to Ethan and make sense? Ethan’s situation was different. Lexie’s boy had been fighting leukemia. Ethan supported her and Cooper without shortchanging his own child, since he had none. No conflict of interest there.

Ethan’s telephone receiver clicked as he hung up, and Ross stepped forward. Ethan’s back was to the door, but when he heard Ross’s steps, he swiveled around. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“Fine.” Not fine, but no one expected a truthful answer. “Am I interrupting?”

He brushed his hand in the air. “No. I have to make changes to some plans. The family can’t afford everything they want.” He shrugged. “We’ll do it in stages, I guess.”

Ross understood that problem. “Do you mind if I sit?”

Ethan’s eyebrows raised. “Not at all.” He tilted back in his chair. “Something wrong?”

Ross flicked his head, looking for words.

“Job or personal life?”

“Personal?”

The word caused Ethan to lean forward, placing his folded hands on his desk. “I hope you and Kelsey haven’t—”

“Nothing quite like that. We get along great.” He pressed his dry lips together. “It’s…”

“Have you seen her?”

“Yes.” The memory sank to the pit of his stomach.

“I mean on a date?”

“Sort of. We went out for Peyton’s birthday. Lucy and Kelsey. Dinner and we went to the Cranbrook Institute of Science. They have all kinds of hands-on things for kids, plus a laser show.”

Ethan studied his face. “It didn’t go well? I mean with the girls?”

“Not as well as I’d hoped. Peyton wasn’t receptive. Things were tense.” Things were horrible.

“Peyton’s relationships have been limited, Ross. You can’t expect wonders. At least not that fast.”

“I know. I hoped. But I’m thinking and…” Ethan’s serious expression motivated him to spit out his concern. “I really like Kelsey. A lot. But my life belongs to Peyton, and I—”

“Ethan, your life doesn’t belong to Peyton. It’s yours. You give her your full attention because you love her. But you’re good at multitasking. You have to be as a contractor. Find ways to split your time, and you’ll be better for it.”

“Better for it? What do you mean?”

“It’s like anything in life. If you keep your eyes aimed at one thing, you miss other important things. When you let your time and interest take in more, you’re a more complete person. You can’t cut off the joy of life and dwell on Peyton’s illness. You’ll be a sad, depressed person and that’s not good for you or her.”

The words cut him. “Is that what I am? Sad and depressed?”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m talking feelings.” He rose from the chair and rounded his desk. “We don’t talk about feelings much, but they drive us. Emotions cause us to react in certain ways and believe certain things. When they’re one-sided, we’re not getting the full picture. I lived my wife’s
death over and over, and never opened myself to anything beyond that until Lexie came into my life.”

“That’s why I came to you, I suppose.”

Ethan leaned against his desk, resting a hand on the top. “Do you like Kelsey enough to work at it? You can learn how to share time, and maybe Lucy and Peyton could become friends. They both—”

“That’s the problem. Peyton won’t let it happen.”

“Ahh.” Ethan slipped onto the desktop and leaned forward. “So that’s it.” A frown settled on his face. “And they’ve only been together once, right?”

He nodded.

Ethan flung his hands upward. “You’ve said Peyton struggles with friendships at school. She hasn’t clicked with the kids. You know how people are. She’s not trusting yet. Give her time. Plan another event.”

“I’m not sure Lucy will want to spend time with her again.”

“Don’t look for problems. Lucy’s a great kid. She and Cooper are friends, and they go at each other when it comes to games. Lucy’s determined to win, but they’re still buddies. It may take a while for the girls to bond. Lucy and Cooper have been friends since Lexie met Kelsey. That was some time ago.”

Ross tried to digest what Ethan was saying. He made some good points. “I need to think of something that’s nonthreatening or competitive.”

“How about going to a movie and afterward stopping for ice cream? They’ll be together but nothing challenging. No need for a lot of conversation.”

Ross chuckled. “Unless it’s picking out a movie.”

“Okay, but you can always put ideas in a hat and let them draw. Then it’s no one’s idea.”

Ethan’s good humor gave Ross hope. He grinned as he rose. “Great idea. Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Ethan slippedd from the desk and slid his arm around Ross’s shoulders. “I suppose Kelsey told you I was irked at Lexie when she advised her not to get too involved with you.”

His back tightened. “No, she didn’t.”

“Oops.” His arm dropped to his side. “I assumed she did. Lexie feared exactly what you’re talking about. How can two people with sick kids find time for another person?”

Ross nodded his head. At least he wasn’t the only one to question the situation.

“But I saw it differently. I think the two of you deserve some fun and companionship other than with your kids.” He squeezed Ross’s shoulder. “For the reasons I mentioned.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” He extended his hand and Ethan gave it a squeeze.

When he stepped into the hallway, though a weight remained on his shoulders, his step felt lighter.

“What do you think about the movie idea?”

Kelsey gazed at Ross’s eyes filled with hope. Her chest constricted, thinking of the pleading she would have to do. “Let me check with Lucy, okay?”

His head lowered as if studying the carpet of her living room. “I understand. If I were Lucy, I wouldn’t want to spend time with Peyton, either.”

“Ross.” She reached across the space and grasped his hand. “Peyton’s a sweet girl, but she’s been rejected so often she’s put up barriers. Even adults do that.”

He nodded, but the discouraged look remained on his face. “I’m baffled.” His pleading gaze searched hers. “I’ve talked with her and tried to explain that she has to reach out to people. She can’t.”

“She can. It takes time. Everything’s in God’s time. I’ve heard you say that yourself.”

A grin crept to his lips. “Easy to say but hard to follow.”

“I know, but trust. Friendships take time to build.” Her pulse skipped. Some friendships never happened. They both knew that. “Let me see what Lucy says.”

She strode to the doorway and down the short hallway to Lucy’s bedroom. “Can I come in?” She tapped on the door.

The door swung open. “I’m doing homework.”

She rested her hand on Lucy’s shoulder and kissed her cheek. “You’re my A-1 daughter.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “I’m your only daughter, Mom.”

“But if I had two, you’d be my A-1.”

Her nose wrinkled but a grin appeared. “Is Ross here?”