A Family to Come Home To (Saddle Falls) (14 page)

“Jesse.” She laid a hand on his chest and met his gaze. He was so close she could see her own reflection in his eyes. “I think that’s perfectly understandable after what you’ve been through. But I think you just need to give yourself some time.” She smiled at him. “I think if you do, you’re going to find that there isn’t a family on this planet more worthy of your trust and your love than the Ryans.”

He nodded, knowing he wasn’t quite ready to talk about this. Not with anyone. Not until he had time to sort out all the feelings and emotions, as well as the memories, that had surfaced the past week. He’d deliberately avoided thinking about everything because whenever he tried to, he was simply, utterly overwhelmed.

Once he was back home in Texas, on familiar ground, he figured he’d be able to sort things out a lot better, and hopefully come to some resolution he could live with.

“Jesse, just give it time.”

“I don’t have all that much time,” he reminded her, making her frown. “But while I am here, Hannah, I appreciate you sharing part of your life and your wonderful daughter with me.” It was as sincere a statement as he’d ever made, making him wonder why it seemed so easy to be emotionally open with Hannah. Perhaps it was simply because of their past, shared history.

She had been the first thing he’d remembered. Clearly, she’d been important to him—very important to him—at one time in his life.

In
Jesse Ryan’s
life, he corrected, instantly regretting the thought for it brought back all the emotional turmoil that had dogged him for so long.

And after such a wonderful day and evening, he didn’t want to spoil it.

His gaze fastened on her mouth and he saw her eyes widen a fraction of a moment before he bent his head and covered her mouth with his.

He felt the jolt of raw desire like a fist to the gut, and tightened his arm around her, dragging her close until the soft warmth of her body was pressed tightly against his.

On a gasp, Hannah’s hands went to his chest. She was going to push him away. Going to tell him they couldn’t keep doing this. It wasn’t good for either of them and it was far too confusing for her.

She was going to tell him. She was sure of it. But her hands slid from his chest around his neck, clinging to him as he deepened the kiss until her head was spinning and her heart thumping.

She moaned softly as he traced her lips with his tongue in a teasing, caressing manner that had her arching against him, silently pleading for more.

Lost in the moment, drowning in her taste, her scent, her touch, Jesse heard the warning echo in his mind. This wasn’t a woman to toy with. He’d made her a promise; she’d always be safe with him. And he would honor that promise, especially now that he knew what she’d been through.

He had to remain detached, unemotional. He wasn’t staying. He only came to fulfill a deathbed promise.

He had to find his way back…
home.

He heard the warning ringing soundly in his mind, but the pleasure, need and desire for her smothered them as he held Hannah tighter, wanting, needing, aching for more.

“R
iley? What on earth are you doing?” Hannah asked with a frown, several mornings later. Hannah glanced up from the checkbook she was trying to balance, to stare at the ceiling.

Riley’s bedroom was right over the kitchen table, so every noise, every sound reverberated through the floorboards. Riley was supposed to be cleaning her room, but it sounded as if she was detonating bombs.

“Riley?” Hannah called again, frowning and wondering if she should go investigate. She glanced down at her checkbook, torn. Balancing it was a chore she put off as long as she could because it usually took so much juggling and worrying to get everything paid and the balance…balanced. But now that she had a paycheck that covered all the necessities and a little extra for luxuries, she found it wasn’t as daunting a task as before. Still, she didn’t like to let it go. She always had to make sure she knew and accounted for every penny to prevent any catastrophes, at least of the financial kind.

“Mama,” Riley said a little breathlessly as she came dashing into the room. “I can’t find my blue hair ribbons.” In her excitement, Riley was almost bouncing out of her shoes. “I have to find my hair ribbons.”

Hannah grinned at her daughter. Riley had on a pair of brand-new white tights she’d bought her for the start of school, except her daughter had obviously put them on in a hurry because they were twisted around her knees and sagging at the ankles.

Riley had on one of her new black patent-leather school shoes. The other foot was snuggled into her comfortable old tennis shoe. Her hair was flying loose and her glasses were clouded and slightly askew as well. Hannah pretended not to notice.

“Sweetheart, your blue hair ribbons are on your dresser.” She reached out and brushed several golden locks from her daughter’s face. “Remember last week when we went shopping for your school clothes? You wore them, and then we put them on your little ribbon stand on the dresser.”

“Oh yeah, Mama. I forgot.” With a grin, Riley turned, prepared to dash back upstairs, but Hannah caught her arm.

“Whoa, sweetheart.” Amusement lit Hannah’s face. Riley was obviously in a tizzy about something this morning, and she had a feeling it wasn’t over cleaning her room. “Where are you going in such a rush and why are you looking for your blue hair ribbons?” One eyebrow lifted. “Did you forget that today’s Sunday and on Sunday we clean our rooms and do our chores?”

It was a day Hannah had always preserved as family day. No matter what was going on in her life, on Sunday she and Riley had a leisurely breakfast, then spent the morning doing chores. She’d make a big, traditional Sunday dinner and then the two of them would rent movies, make popcorn and settle down in front of the television for the evening. It was a private family time that they both eagerly looked forward to and savored.

“I didn’t forget, Mama, honest.” Riley rubbed her nose with the back of her hand and shoved her slipping glasses up her nose. “I cleaned my room and did all my chores.” She grinned at Hannah’s skeptical look. “Honest.” Riley tugged at her tangled tights, trying unsuccessfully to straighten them. “I have to go, Mama.” Riley grinned at her, still tugging at her tights. “I don’t want to be late. I need my ribbons ’cuz I want to look pretty on my date.” With a grin, Riley dashed out of the room.

“Date?”
Hannah’s brow rose in amusement as she went after her daughter. “Sweetheart?” she called as she climbed the stairs. “Uh, is there something you need to tell me?”

“Riley?” Hannah stood in the open doorway of her daughter’s bedroom. Her daughter had cleaned her room, if you called stuffing everything under the covers and the bed and into the nearest drawer, cleaning it. Every single new outfit and dress that they’d bought for Riley’s start of school was crumpled in a pile or strewn haphazardly across the bed. Shaking her head, Hannah tried not to grin. “I think perhaps we should have a little chat.”

“But I’ll be late, Mama.” Solemn eyes looked up at her as Hannah sat down on Riley’s bed. “And that wouldn’t be polite. You always say it’s not polite to be late.”

Did her daughter have to start reciting her mother’s wisdom back to her right now? Hannah wondered in amusement.

“I think you can afford a minute or two, sweetheart.” She drew Riley close, nestling her between her knees and brushing her long hair out of her eyes. “Now, what’s all this about a date?”

Riley beamed, fidgeting from one foot to another. “I have a date with Uncle Jesse.”

“A date with Uncle Jesse?” Riley nodded as Hannah reached down and straightened the little girl’s tangled tights. “I see. And when did all this happen?”

Riley frowned, then shrugged. “I dunno, Mama.” Lifting her head, Riley grinned, shoving her long hair back. “Uncle Jesse said that since I was a big girl now and had a two-wheeler and was gonna go to school, I could probably go on a date with him.”

Hannah was struggling not to smile, warmed beyond belief by Jesse’s unwavering kindness. “He did, huh?”

“Yep.” Riley’s head bobbed up and down and then the smile slid off her face. “I forgot to tell you, huh?” Riley said with a guilty look, making Hannah laugh.

“That you did, sweetheart.” She pressed a kiss to her Riley’s forehead.

“But I can go, huh, can’t I, Mama?” Riley pressed her hands to her mother’s cheeks, her eyes pleading. “Can’t I?”

“Absolutely, sweetheart,” Hannah said, watching as her daughter’s shoulders drooped in relief. “So, exactly where are you and Uncle Jesse going?”

Riley shrugged, then chewed her lip. “I don’t know.” She looked up at her mother earnestly, worry on her face. “I’ve never been on a date, Mama.” She grinned suddenly. “But Uncle Jesse said it would be fun.”

Hannah laughed. “I’m sure it will be.” She glanced at the clock on Riley’s dresser. “Do you know what time Uncle Jesse is coming to pick you up?”

Riley’s head bobbed furiously and she turned to look at the clock with a frown. “He said when the big hand was on the twelve and the little hand was on the eleven.”

“Eleven this morning?” It was ten-thirty now, which would give her a half hour to help Riley get ready. “Well, sweetheart, I think it’s only fair that Mama help you get ready for your first date, don’t you?” Hannah stood up, taking her daughter’s hand, grateful it would be a few more years before she had to ready her for a real date. “Now, let’s find your blue hair ribbons.”

“He’s here, Mama. He’s here.” Riley was standing with the front door wide open, her nose pressed against the screen, nearly bouncing out of her new patent-leather shoes. “Uncle Jesse’s here.”

With a smile, Hannah closed her checkbook, satisfied it was balanced, and went to stand at the front door with her daughter. She couldn’t prevent the smile when she saw Jesse climb out of his car. He was carrying a small bouquet of multicolored wildflowers.

“You’re here,” Riley cried, pushing open the front screen door and bolting down the porch steps to throw herself at Jesse. “It took forever,” she said, clinging as she gazed up at him.

“I’m sorry, darlin’, but I had to make a few stops first.” He laid a hand to Riley’s head as his gaze drifted to Hannah. She was standing in the doorway, dressed in a pair of short shorts and a white cotton T-shirt. Her legs and feet were bare, and her hair was pulled up into a ponytail atop her head. She’d never looked more beautiful.

“Uncle Jesse, I told Mama about our date.” Riley slid her hand into his and Hannah tried not to think about how right—how perfect—Jesse looked with her daughter. Or how happy her daughter looked with him. The thought brought a little pang to her heart.

“You did?” Jesse went down on his knees so he was eye level with her. “Well, darlin’, since I didn’t want your mama feeling bad because we were leaving her all alone for a while, I brought her a present from us.” He winked at Hannah as he handed Riley the bouquet. “Why don’t you go give your mama her present.”

“’Kay, Uncle Jesse.” Riley skipped back toward the front door and shoved the flowers at her mother. “Here, Mama. It’s from us.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Hannah said with a smile, taking a deep whiff of the fragrant blossoms and letting her gaze meet Jesse’s. She was touched beyond measure. “And thank you, Jesse,” she added quietly. Just looking at him caused her pulse to scramble wildly, and she had an uncommon urge to simply touch him. The thought shook her. She shouldn’t be having such thoughts about Jesse and she knew it. He was just being kind, just being a friend. There was absolutely nothing more to it. Couldn’t be more to it. Not for her. And certainly not for him. “Would you like to come in? Have some coffee?”

Jesse shook his head, giving Riley’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Thanks, darlin’, but me and Miss Riley here have plans.” He glanced down at Riley and gave her little hand a quick, gentle squeeze. “Don’t we, darlin’?”

“Yep.” Riley started tugging Jesse’s hand toward the car. “Could we go now, Uncle Jesse? I’ve been ready forever.” She tugged him along as he turned back to Hannah.

“We’ll be back around four,” Jesse called to her, digging in his jeans pocket for his keys. “Don’t worry,” he said when he saw her chewing her lip. “I promise I’ll take very good care of her.”

She nodded, still worrying her lip. She felt foolish telling him that she couldn’t help but worry. In the five years since Riley’s birth, her daughter had never gone off alone with anyone. Not anyone.

Hannah’s gaze shifted to Riley, wondering if she was feeling any distress or separation anxiety. Hannah couldn’t help but smile. Her daughter looked as if she couldn’t wait to get going, and didn’t seem particularly bothered by the fact that she was going off alone with someone other than her mother for the first time.

“Jesse, would you like to stay for dinner?” Hannah called impulsively, realizing she and Riley had never shared their special day or Sunday dinner with anyone before.

Two very new things in one day. For a women who prided herself on calm, careful stability, and always thought everything through twice, then thought it through again, she was sure being carefree today, she thought in amusement.

There was just something about Jesse that seemed to make her forget her usual calm, careful resolve.

“We’ll bring dinner back with us,” Jesse called with a wink. He opened the door and helped Riley inside the car, secured her seat belt tightly, then double-checked it. When he shut the door and started to round the car, he turned back to Hannah. “You’ve got a few hours to yourself, Hannah. Try to do something fun,” he said with a mischievous smile. “Something just for you, darlin’.” He blew her a kiss that sent a heated shiver over her as if he’d actually kissed her and not been standing five feet away. “You deserve a day off.” With a wave, he climbed into the car, started the engine and drove off. Riley, her nose pressed against the window, waved frantically, a wide grin of happiness on her face.

Hannah stood there for a long moment, the bouquet still in her hands, touched almost to tears, finally understanding Jesse’s “date” with her daughter.

Jesse was giving her a day off, some time to herself with no responsibilities or worries. She pressed the flowers to her nose and couldn’t prevent the warmth that spread through her from settling in her wary heart at his kindness, his caring.

He was, she decided, an incredible man.

And he’d chosen to spend the day with her daughter, giving Riley the benefit of his time and attention. Making her one very happy little girl.

Hannah’s smile widened and the warmth spread deeper. Slowly, she shut the front door, then locked it, before making her way to the kitchen to put the flowers into a vase.

She couldn’t remember a time when she was all alone and had hours stretching ahead of her with nothing to do, no responsibilities and nothing tugging at her time.

With a happy sigh, Hannah realized she had almost five long, lovely hours to do anything she wanted.

Jesse, she thought, sniffing the flowers one last time before arranging them in a vase, what on earth are you doing to my defenses?

More importantly, what on earth was he doing to her scarred and wary heart?

She wasn’t going to waste a perfectly lovely day worrying. Instead, she planned to do exactly what Jesse had suggested; she was going to do something fun.

Feeling a little bit decadent, Hannah poured herself a large glass of iced cola, then went into the pantry and grabbed a bag of potato chips. Laughing at her own foolishness, she walked into the living room, pausing at the bookcase. She couldn’t remember the last time she actually had the time to sit down and just read a book. To get lost in another world for a moment, a world where she was just a casual observer with no responsibilities.

Spotting the newest Nora Roberts novel she’d been dying to read, Hannah grabbed it, then set down her soda before sinking into a chair. With another happy sigh, she tucked her legs under her, opened the bag of chips and the book, then leaned back and began to read.

“And then, Mama, the elephant gave a big loud snort and water came squirting out of his nose. All over everything.” Riley covered her mouth and collapsed on the blanket in a fit of giggles, startling a flock of birds in a tree overhead.

“It sounds like you had a wonderful time at the zoo,” Hannah said with a laugh, rubbing a hand across her daughter’s head. “But I think you’d better eat something.” Hannah reached across the blanket and pulled a piece of fried chicken out of the basket Jesse and Riley had brought back with them, and handed it to her daughter.

When Riley and Jesse had returned just a little over half an hour ago, she’d just finished her book and had been wiping a tear from her eye, wishing her life was more like one of the heroines in a book—with a happily-ever-after.

The sight of her daughter standing in the doorway beaming, exhausted and totally disheveled, had brought Hannah back to reality. Riley had a lime-green mustache from the snow cone she’d had, as well as a few stains on her new blue school dress from using it as a napkin. She’d lost one of her blue ribbons somewhere along the way, and her new patent-leather shoes were scuffed, but Riley had never looked happier, warming Hannah’s heart.