A Family to Come Home To (Saddle Falls) (3 page)

“That’s right, honey. No more baby-sitters for you,” Hannah teased with a laugh. “You get to come to work with me and you can play with Uncle Tommy as well.” Although Tommy was past eighty, he adored playing with Riley and his numerous assorted great-grandchildren as much as they adored playing with him.

“And I could play with Uncle Jake and Uncle Josh and Uncle Jared—sometimes—when they gots time, right, Mama?”

“That’s right, honey.” Hanging another sheet on the line, Hannah glanced at her daughter, wondering if she needed more sunscreen. The Nevada sun in the afternoon could be brutal, even at the beginning of January. At least there was a faint breeze blowing, giving them some relief.

“Mama?” Riley hesitated, then said, “And I could play with Timmy and Terry, and maybe even sometimes Ditka and Ruth, right?” Her words were so hopeful, her blue eyes shining in expectation, Hannah felt an overwhelming rush of love for her daughter, so strong it nearly staggered her. But then it always did.

She ached for all the things she hadn’t been able to provide Riley with, but none more so than a large, loving family of her own.

“Yes, honey, you can play with Timmy and Terry, and even the dogs.”

“Can I get a dog soon?” Puckering her mouth in concentration, Riley’s eyes, wide and innocent behind her large glasses, held a hopeful question, making Hannah sigh. “I’m big now, Mama. Almost six. And you said I could get a dog when I was big.” Riley’s grin widened at her logic as she struggled to hold the bike upright and still. “So could I get a dog now?”

Hannah pushed back the bout of guilt that she’d come to think of as the single mother’s constant companion. “That’s right, honey, I did promise,” she admitted, trying not to frown as she hung another sheet. “But with Mama’s new job and you just starting kindergarten, it might be better to wait a while.”

“A while?” Riley repeated the unknown word with a frown. “Is that a week, Mama?” Riley asked hopefully, making Hannah laugh again. They’d been having this same discussion since the first time Riley had laid eyes on Timmy and Terry Ryan’s dogs, Ruth and Ditka. Timmy and Terry were Jared Ryan’s six-year-old twin sons—and substitute brothers to Riley. And their misbehaved mutts had captured her daughter’s heart the moment she’d laid eyes on them.

More than anything in the world, her daughter wanted a dog. And as much as she’d tried to give Riley everything she’d ever wanted or needed, as a single parent responsible for the sole support of herself and her precious daughter, she’d learned to be practical.

And right now, adding an animal to their little family might not be the best thing. They wouldn’t have much time to spend with a dog, not to mention the extra expense of another member of the household.

Although her new salary from Tommy was more than generous, allowing for some much-needed necessities and a few indulgent luxuries like the brand spanking new pink two-wheeler Riley was riding, Hannah always erred on the side of caution, especially when it came to financial matters.

“A week?” Hannah repeated, glancing down at her daughter, who had the face of an angel and the occasional temper of a tornado. “Hmm, maybe a bit longer than that, honey,” Hannah said, adding another sheet to the clothesline and watching it billow gently in the slight breeze.

“You always say that, Mama,” Riley accused with a pout and a long, weary sigh as she struggled to finish turning her new bike back around.

“I know, sweetheart, but remember how I explained that a dog needs to have company? Someone who will be here all day to feed and take care of it.”

“Like a baby, huh, Mama?” Riley asked dejectedly. “That’s why we can’t have a new baby like Terry and Timmy have, right? ’Cuz we can’t stay home and take care of it.”

Hannah tried not to laugh at her daughter’s logic. “That’s right, honey.” Ever since Jake, Josh and Jared, Tommy’s grown grandsons, and their wives had begun having babies, Riley, not wanting to be left out of anything, had been begging for a new baby sister or brother as well.

The thought was so ludicrous it always made Hannah laugh. Explaining to her adorable five-year-old, why she, a twenty-five-year-old single mother barely scraping by couldn’t even consider having another baby, let alone that she hadn’t either the time nor the inclination to date, or, for that matter, get involved with another man, seemed far too complicated. Explaining her rationale for not getting a dog suddenly seemed far less harmless.

“I’ll tell you what, honey. Why don’t we wait and see how school goes first? And then we’ll see about getting you a dog. Let’s give it a couple of weeks and then we’ll talk about it again, okay?”

“’kay,” Riley said with a sigh, apparently appeased as she climbed back on her bike.

“Stay in the driveway, now,” Hannah cautioned.

“I will, Mama. I could almost get all the way down the driveway by myself,” she added proudly, shakily pedaling the bike. Hannah bit her lip, resisting the urge to go to her daughter and help her, knowing that as much as she detested the fact, if she wanted Riley to grow up to be strong and independent, she had to let her do things on her own, at her own speed.

Hannah sighed again, realizing that at times she was too cautious, too overprotective of her only child, but then reality sunk in and she realized that there was no more important job in her life than being a good mother. And if that meant being overprotective of her daughter, so be it.

Besides, she’d never been a gambler or a risk taker. Especially when it came to her daughter. It just wasn’t in her nature.

She liked to think of herself as a pragmatic, practical woman who dealt in common sense. It had become a habit to think through every step, every move twice and then calmly and rationally go over everything again just to be certain before she made any decisions.

Only once had Hannah allowed her emotions to overrule her practicality and common sense. Only once had she allowed her own desperate yearning to have a family of her own—a
real
family—get the best of her, and the end result had left her a young, naive, woefully unprepared single mother.

But she’d learned, she thought, glancing affectionately at her daughter again. She’d learned quickly that decisions and actions based on emotion could only lead to innumerable mistakes and heartache.

The end result of her own naiveté had been the loss of her pride, her self-esteem, as well as her family, who’d disowned her for disgracing them by getting pregnant and refusing to marry Riley’s father. Before she and her parents could reconcile, they’d been killed in a boating accident, but they had left Riley their house—in trust. Hannah never knew if that was their way of saying they’d forgiven her or not. She didn’t dwell on it because the pain of their words, their anger and disappointment had never faded. She’d never apologize for bringing Riley into the world. Not to anyone.

Well, the reason Hannah wouldn’t marry the man was that not only had he never asked, he had also never once mentioned that he was already married and had a family. Riley’s father hadn’t been interested in the family he already had, let alone a new one. Although Hannah felt guilty sometimes for depriving her precious daughter of a father, she figured in the long run she hadn’t robbed Riley of too much except a whole lot of disappointment and heartache from a man who hadn’t wanted Riley and couldn’t or wouldn’t accept her.

Despite the loss and the painful life lessons, Hannah had received an incredible gain—a beautiful, loving daughter who filled every need in her heart.

Biting her lower lip, Hannah wondered if the career decision she’d made so recently had been made with her usual practical common sense. Or a bit of emotion. Perhaps it had been both, she considered, hanging the last sheet out to dry.

She’d been an accomplished cook since the age of twelve and loved creating beautiful meals, so having a job doing something she loved seemed perfect. The salary Tommy had offered was more than generous, and with his longtime housekeeper/cook, Mrs. Taylor, finally retiring, accepting the job would also allow her to spend more time with Riley since she could bring her to work with her.

It was, Hannah realized, a dream come true. Enough money to support them, a job she loved and more time to spend with her daughter.

So why was she worried? she wondered, trying to shake off her own concerns.

Perhaps it was that she always worried that she was taking advantage of Tommy and his family. As her godfather, it was Tommy who’d always been there for her, including her in his own family, making her feel welcome, wanted and loved, something her own parents never had time for, even
before
they disowned her.

Although she’d been a bit younger than Jake, Jared and Josh, they’d always treated her like the sister they’d never had, and Riley like one of their own children, giving both a sense of belonging.

Having the Ryans in their lives gave Riley a sense of being part of a huge, loving family, the one thing—the
only
thing—Hannah wasn’t able to provide for her daughter on her own.

With another sigh, Hannah hung the last pillowcase on the clothesline. Unconsciously, her gaze traveled to the driveway and she felt an instant of panic. Riley’s bike was lying on its side, pink streamers blowing in the afternoon breeze.

But her daughter was nowhere to be seen.

“Riley?” Hannah stepped over the now-empty laundry basket, knocking it over and wiping her suddenly damp hands on her jean shorts. “Riley!” she called louder, trying not to panic. Her daughter knew better than to leave the driveway.

“Mama! Mama, come see. This man looks like Uncle Jake.” Riley’s voice drifted back toward her and Hannah patted her heart to calm it as she stalked down the driveway, coming to a halt when she saw a stranger holding her daughter’s hand.

With his large buff-colored Stetson, his faded jeans, boots, and chambray shirt, he could have passed for Jake Ryan’s twin.

But it wasn’t Jake Ryan,
Hannah realized instantly.

He was a bit taller than Jake, built a bit bigger, and he was clearly younger than Jake, but he had the same inky-black hair curling over the collar of his shirt. And the same incredible Ryan blue eyes.

And a face that couldn’t deny he
was
a Ryan.

While all the Ryan men were undeniably gorgeous, Hannah had always felt more sisterly toward them. She could acknowledge and appreciate their good looks, but had never felt that instinctive female stirring of lust that looking at
this man
had curling in her gut. The strength of the sensation reminded her that in spite of her deliberately man-devoid life, she was still a young woman and still had all the needs and desires she’d been trying to ignore since Riley’s birth.

And she wasn’t particularly pleased that those needs and desires had picked
this
particular moment to rear their rambunctious heads.

She took a long, slow breath and let her breath out slowly before stepping closer. There were prickles of fear, awareness and a host of other confusing feelings swamping her, and she wasn’t quite certain how to react to them.

Or to the incredibly gorgeous hunk of male holding her precious daughter’s hand.

“Hannah-Anna.”

Unaware he’d even spoken, Jesse stared at the adult version of the adorable little girl. Everything seemed to slow, then still inside him—except his heart. It gave a solid bump, then sped up as if it were on a racecourse. The entire world faded away and there was only her, standing there like an apparition.

Hannah-Anna.

A kaleidoscope of emotions, feelings, memories converged all at once, nearly staggering him, flashing instantly through his mind like a movie that had been fast-forwarded at warp speed.

He saw her as she’d been; the adorable, mischievous girl he’d played tag with, chased around and around her house. He remembered, and could almost hear, her squeals of delight echoing behind her as she ran as fast as her legs could carry her, no match for his longer, stronger ones as he caught her, held her, tickled her or pulled her hair.

Or protected her when anyone else dare tease her.

It was Hannah-Anna.

His Hannah-Anna.

Jesse was almost certain he’d stopped breathing. Surely the earth had stopped moving and time must have stood still as he simply stood there staring at her. The memory of her had snuck up on him, catching him totally off guard.

Giving his head a shake, he let his eyes close for a moment to gather himself, then slowly opened them, surprised that she was still standing there staring at him as if she’d seen a ghost.

She was all grown up and the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. His heart kept hammering wickedly as his gaze slowly traipsed over her, wanting—needing to see every inch of her.

Small and delicate, she had a mass of wavy, golden-blond hair that flowed down her back. Her eyes, a vibrant, vivid blue rimmed by thick black lashes reminded him of a clear Texas sky on a summer day. Wide open and at the moment clouded by some emotion he couldn’t read.

She wore a pair of shorts that hugged an incredibly sexy butt and revealed a slim expanse of tanned legs long enough to make a man drool. Her feet were sexily bare, and the shirt she had on was the color of ripe apricots and tied just under her breasts, revealing a flat expanse of equally tanned tummy.

Because his throat had gone as dry as the desert, Jesse had to swallow several times before speaking.

“Hannah-Anna,”
he whispered again. The deep timbre of his voice was husky with emotion and an unmistakable Texas drawl.

Hannah hadn’t heard her childhood nickname in twenty years, not since Jesse Ryan had disappeared.

“J-Jesse?” she whispered, her voice so dry it came out like a croak. Her gaze went over him as he slowly removed his Stetson, allowing a tumble of rich, black hair to fall free, only emphasizing the beautiful shape and sculpture of his chiseled features.