A Gathering of Memories (20 page)

God knew you were just what we needed.
The words kept swarming around in Mandy’s head. She almost wished she and Silas had gone for that ride. Luke and Christine made it sound like God had sent her there. Well maybe He had. After all, He
was the reason she couldn’t get to sleep. Questions repeatedly echoed in her mind over what Carrie had said before the party.

And then after the baby was born she felt such an awful ache inside of her. Having something happen to little Rachael would not have brought her mother back, nor would Mandy have chosen that, even if it would have. But it all seemed so unfair. Her mother was gone, never to return, leaving a terrible void in her world. And Luke and Christine—their life seemed so complete, as if God thought they were extra special and He couldn’t think of enough gifts to shower them with.

“Mandy, are you okay?”

“What did you say, Carrie?”

“I said are you okay? You’ve been real quiet since you came back from seeing the baby. You’re happy that she’s named after you, aren’t you?”

“Oh, I think it’s wonderful. I guess I’m a little tired.”

Leaving her to her thoughts, Carrie didn’t question her sister anymore. They continued to load the wagon for Grandma Em’s without further conversation.

“I would say we worked very hard. In fact I’m not sure I’ll have any energy left for tonight.”

“In that case we’ll get the lemonade.” Ross and Pete disappeared into the kitchen as Grandma Em sank down into one of the chairs in the backyard. It took her a moment to realize that Preston was staring at her from his place in another yard chair. She immediately interpreted the look.

“I was only kidding, Preston. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” He didn’t sound convinced.

“I’m tired, but I’m not going to collapse or anything quite so dramatic.”

“I want to see you taking it easy tonight.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” She was clearly amused but tried not to smile when she saw how serious he was.

“Yes, I do. And if you don’t, I just might have to have a talk with Luke or Mark about the way their grandmother overdoes when they’re not looking.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Just try me, Emily.” He smiled then, tempted to tell her he liked the way she looked when she was a bit outraged. But even with as little as he knew about women, he was certain that would get him into all kinds of trouble.

She eyed him then to gauge just how serious he had been, and he returned her gaze, telling her with his smiling eyes that he would do just as he said. She couldn’t help but smile back at him, so charming was his grin.

The boys came back carrying the pitcher of lemonade and four glasses. With great ceremony they served their elders, and
when everyone had quenched their thirst the boys began to bring some of the food from the kitchen to the tables they had set up earlier.

As the families began to arrive and saw the tables set up outside, everyone’s spirits soared. Silas and Amy’s wagon, filled with their own five plus Josh and Kate, looked as though it had enough children to fill the schoolhouse.

Mandy helped fill little hands with baskets full of food, making her one of the last to come away from the wagon. She had just begun to lift a basket full of pies when she heard Carrie say, “Hi Ross. Hi Pete.” At that same instant she realized the basket was too heavy for her. The last thing she wanted to do was behave like a helpless woman in front of Ross. She just hated it when girls acted like that; it was deceitful. So against her better judgment she lifted the basket.

The weight nearly staggered her, and she had just steadied herself when Ross stepped forward and took the basket from her.

“Whatever you do Amanda, don’t ask for help.” His voice was laced with annoyed sarcasm. Mandy felt rebuked and foolish. Ross walked away and Mandy felt her face flush with heat. She was sure Pete and Carrie had heard him. Pete relieved Carrie of her jug of cider, and they moved toward the house.

Mandy stood staring into the empty wagon bed without really seeing it. A shadow passed over her, drawing her attention up to an older, distinguished-looking man beside her.

“Is everything unloaded?” His voice was deep and pleasant and Mandy nodded yes.

“Well then, I’ll escort you to supper.” He held his arm out, but Mandy only stared at it. “How presumptuous of me; we haven’t been introduced. I’m Preston Culver and you are…?” He left the question hanging, knowing exactly what the response would be.

“Mandy Jackson.”

“May I please escort you to supper, Mandy?”

“Thank you,” she said with a grateful smile as she placed her hand in the crook of his arm. She did not see Ross or Pete watching them, but Preston gave them both a very pointed look as they passed, clearly communicating that one of
them
should have escorted her.

Not needing to be told twice, Ross maneuvered himself carefully, and to Mandy’s chagrin, sat across from her at the table. The meal was half over before she even looked at him and then immediately away. Ross felt panicked. For the first time she was uncomfortable with him. He hadn’t meant to be so abrupt with her, and he was going to apologize—but something was different this time. He had hurt her. Something he hadn’t believed to be possible with the way she seemed to accept every harsh word or act that came into her world.

He determined to corner her after supper and even ask her to sit with him at the fireworks display. But she busied herself in the kitchen right after the meal, and Ross paced around outside in an effort to get near her.

“Ross, can you get the door for me?” It was Susanne holding a meat platter in each hand. Ross jumped at the chance.

Once inside, he saw that Mandy’s hands were not in the dish water or even drying the dishes. She was making trips to the dish cabinet in the dining room and putting dishes and hollowware away.

“I seem to keep repeating myself and at some point you’re not going to believe me, but I
am
sorry about the way I spoke to you, Amanda.”

Placing the dish on the shelf, Mandy looked up into Ross’ eyes as he stood next to the tall cabinet where he’d followed her. Mandy, as usual, truthfully revealed to Ross what she was thinking.

“I just hate it when women play games in order to get attention. I knew the basket was too heavy for me, but I figured
you would think asking for help was an act. So I lifted it, even though I knew better.”

“I don’t know you very well, Amanda,”
not as well as I’d like to
, he thought, “but if there’s one thing I have learned since meeting you, it’s that there’s no pretense in you. If you had asked for help with the basket, I’d have known instantly that it was genuine desire for help and not a female ploy.”

“I’m glad you know that I’m honest. It’s important to me.”

“I wondered if you would sit with me tonight during the fireworks?”

“I’d like that, Ross, but the truth is I feel a little funny about your girlfriend. I mean, I didn’t think you meant anything permanent or anything,” she rushed to assure him. “But I just don’t think it’s fair to her.”

“Sarah and I have no plans for the future. She’s free to see whomever she wants and the same goes for me.”

“Oh.”

Again Ross was not ready to handle what he saw in her eyes. There was no way he was going to love this woman. She was not a Christian and no matter how sweet she was, or how much she needed protection, until she made a decision for Christ, and only God knew when that would be, Ross
had
to keep his distance.

“Excuse me, Amanda, I might be needed outside. I’ll let you get back to work.” Ross left, thinking that he’d made a mistake. He knew he was supposed to keep his distance, and yet he’d asked her to be with him for the rest of the evening. He honestly couldn’t figure out why God would ask him to get close to Amanda unless he was supposed to talk to her about the Lord. For some reason the thought had never occurred to him before. He decided then and there that he would do exactly that.

“Couldn’t this have waited?”

“What for?”

The wizened man shrugged. “I didn’t really care to come all the way from Reedsburg in the heat. And some of us take holidays off.”

“I never take days off. It’s not good for business. Besides, with everyone tied up with the celebrations, no one will notice you coming and going. Have you got what you need?”

“Of course. What’s the name?”

Aaron Marks held out an official document to display the name at the bottom.

“If you’ve got his name on a contract, what do you need me for?”

“Only a fool would sign the one you’re going to forge and Jackson is no fool. This old contract is for the job he’s on now. But this new one will be binding nonetheless and I’ll have what I want.”

“I don’t care to hear about the details. Have you got the money?”

A bag of coins hit the desk. The little man looked them over, put the bag in his pocket, and went to work.

The town had a great time at the fireworks display. The evening began with several children reciting poems or stories about the freedoms their nation enjoyed. After dark, the
fireworks commenced. Some were shot into the air and others, attached to poles, lit up the ground in all their patriotic glory.

Ross and Mandy saw very little of it. Ross had wasted no time after the speeches to ask Mandy a little bit about herself. He quickly led the conversation around to eternity and was surprised to find out how knowledgeable she was.

“I know that Carrie has made a decision for Christ and I’m happy for her, but it’s as if God is hiding from me.”

“You mean, you feel like you’re searching and He won’t let you see Him?”

“Yes, that’s the way it feels. I’m learning a lot from Carrie and at church though, and there are things in the Bible that I didn’t know were there, but I almost feel as though the time isn’t right. I wonder if it will ever be.”

“Have you ever thought of asking God to help you believe, to help you know?”

“No, I’m not used to having anyone help me and it feels foreign. Maybe it’s pride but I’ve always figured I should do things myself—I have up till now.”

“And how about after this life? How will you help yourself in eternity?”

“I think I’ve been a good person, Ross, and that’s got to count for
something
.” She said the word almost desperately.