A Gathering of Memories (21 page)

“Amanda, I can understand what a blow it is to find out that all the things you’ve done so far don’t count for eternity. The Bible says all our good works are like filthy rags. But look at it this way, if you can’t
do
anything to gain salvation, then you can’t
do
anything to lose it. I don’t know about you, but that’s a real comfort to me.

“If all that counted for eternity was the good I’ve done on this earth then I’d be terrified to die, wondering all the time if I had been good enough to get into heaven. I’ll take a sure thing anytime, and believe me, Amanda, salvation through Jesus Christ is a sure thing.”

Mandy was soaking in his every word. Ross answered her questions as best he could and quoted many verses to her. But when he asked her if she wanted to pray, she said she wasn’t ready.

“I won’t push you, Amanda, but the Bible also says that now is the day of salvation. Please know that I’ll be praying for you every day. If there’s anything I can do to help, just ask.”

When things broke up, Mandy thanked Ross for all the time he’d taken with her, and then went to check on her family. Silas, who had seen them talking, was given a brief chance to ask Ross how she was doing.

“She said she needs more time. I have to lean on the verse that says if we seek Him He will be found, because she is seeking and I’m praying she will find Him soon.”

“Thanks, Ross. Amy and I are praying, too, and I believe as you do that it’s only a matter of time before she comes to Christ.”

“Is it your woman’s time, Mandy?” Carrie asked her sister in exasperation. “You’re a grouch this morning.”

“I am not.” The words were empty and without conviction because Mandy knew Carrie was right. She’d had a terrible night and now this morning she was nearly impossible to live with.

“I think I’ll go for a walk.”

There was plenty of work to do—wet laundry waiting to be hung, pans of bread dough waiting their turn in the oven, and bedding to be aired and changed—but Amy said nothing. This was a girl fighting God. Amy knew from experience that fighting God was miserable and a losing battle. Maybe some time alone was exactly what Mandy needed.

“I would be terrified to die, wondering all the time if I’d been good enough to get into heaven.”
Ross had said something like that to Mandy, and she couldn’t get the words out of her head.

She had walked a ways from the house and barn and now lay on a grassy knoll with the sun in her face. She touched her warm cheeks and knew she should have grabbed her bonnet. Rolling over onto her stomach, Mandy watched her fingers as they played with the grass and weeds. All that Ross, Carrie, Amy, and Silas had said was running through her mind, and Mandy felt like she was choking with the need to understand and share what they had.

Ross had said to ask God for the understanding. Somehow she felt she had to come to that place
before
God would accept her. But maybe she was wrong. It would seem she was because so far it wasn’t working. She wasn’t understanding anything.

“Please help me to know You. The Bible says we all sin and I can see now that it’s true. I do sin.” The words were whispered on the wind and for the first time Mandy felt like God was listening.”

“Did You really die for everyone, God—for me too?” These words came on a sob and Mandy’s tears fell on the grass beneath her. She told God everything through those tears, her doubts and fears, her pride and stubbornness, but mostly how much she wanted to know Him and how afraid she was that He would turn her away.

She sat up when she had finished praying and stared up at the sky. She wasn’t sure why but she suddenly knew that God would never reject her.

No words would come then, but she realized she had crossed over the barrier in her mind. Verses Ross had quoted came to her, and every time one did she said
yes
to God. Yes
to believing on His Son. Yes to eternal life. Yes to confessing her sin. And yes to being His child for evermore.

Her tears were spent as a deep peace settled within her. She looked up at the clouds and thought how God Himself had made them. She was on her feet in the next instant and running for the house.

“Carrie!” she shouted as she hit the back door. “Carrie! Amy! Where are you?”

“Mandy what is it? What’s happened?” Carrie and Amy bolted into the kitchen at the same time, wide-eyed with fear. They had been in the living room praying for Mandy and hearing her shout their names scared them half to death.

What they saw, as they stared at Mandy’s flushed face, made their hearts overflow. Gone was the look of despair and unsureness on her face. In its place was peace and the knowing look of a person who need not fear for tomorrow.

Amy spoke past the lump in her throat as her eyes filled with tears. “Welcome home, Mandy.”

“Thanks, Amy,” she said as her own tears began. “It’s so good to finally be here.”

The month of July sped by with alarming speed, and before anyone could take a breath it was the middle of August. In that time Mandy and Carrie developed a special routine with Silas and Amy. Each evening after the younger children were asleep, the four of them would sit down at the kitchen table to study the Bible. Silas led the study as they worked their way through the book of Galatians.

First reading a few verses, sometimes only one, Silas, and often Amy, would explain to the girls what God was saying to Christians and how they could apply it to their lives.

One night when they were just finishing and it was time for prayer, Silas told the girls something that had been on his heart for a few weeks.

“It’s been wonderful praying with you girls, and I’m blessed each time you remember to pray for your family’s salvation. But I’ve noticed you don’t often pray for yourselves. Amy and I pray for you, but I don’t want you to be afraid to ask God for things.

“So, beginning tonight I’m going to ask God to show you, in His time, who He has for life mates for you girls.” It took a few seconds for that to sink in.

“You mean husbands?”

Carrie’s voice was so astounded that Amy laughed. “Silas doesn’t mean right now, Carrie.”

“Definitely not right now—maybe never. But if and when the time comes—and Mandy, with your being 18, it might be sooner than you think—you’ll want God’s leading because it’s a most important decision; certainly not one to be taken lightly.”

The girls looked at one another, and Carrie could see that Silas’ words were not that great of a surprise to Mandy. She
would have been amazed if she’d known all of her older sister’s thoughts. Mandy never once let on that she was in love with Ross Beckett. Yet privately, any talk of marriage immediately conjured up his face in her mind.

She hadn’t seen too much of him lately and had an uncomfortable feeling as to why. It was obvious Ross had been concerned about her soul, and for that Mandy was grateful, but anything beyond, such as a romantic attachment, was plainly out of the question.

Mandy clearly remembered the Sunday she had told him she’d understood and believed in Christ. He’d impulsively hugged her, and Mandy thought her heart would burst. But he hadn’t been around much after that. She’d see him at church but not usually close enough to talk with him, and only one Sunday did he come to Grandma Em’s for dinner.

Mandy would have held out hope, even through all of those signs, but the day she’d driven into town with Amy and saw Ross walking down the street with Candy Hunter was the day she decided to stop loving Ross Beckett. How naive she had been. If only it was as easy to do as it was to say.

“Now I don’t want you to take what I’ve said as a subtle way of telling you I want you married and out of the house,” Silas cut into Mandy’s painful thoughts.

“We didn’t think that,” Mandy told him with a smile.

“Good. Now I think we best get to prayer because my wife is falling asleep.” Amy was drooping and didn’t argue with his statement.

“It’s a good thing I wasn’t in bed. You’re making enough noise to wake the dead.”

“I tripped on something inside the door. I think the rug is turned up.”

“How’s Candy?”

Ross didn’t answer.

“Ross, how many times do I have to tell you I don’t care for her that way? She asked you to supper. I don’t think you’re moving in on my gal because Candy isn’t my gal. What I do think is that you’re seeing her to keep your mind off another young lady in town, and that’s not fair to you, Candy, or anyone else.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ross called up to his housemate, who had turned from his place on the stairs and gone up to his room. Ross checked the front door and ran up the stairs behind Pete. He didn’t bother knocking but just opened the door and leaned on the jamb.

“What did that cryptic little remark mean?”

“Let me see now,” Pete looked up at the ceiling as though picturing the events in his mind. “First you’re praying for Mandy because you know she’s not saved. Then you spend the Fourth with her and talk to her about Christ. The next day she makes a decision and tells you on the following Sunday that a lot of what you said helped her to that point. You go to Grandma Em’s one Sunday after that, and now you’re having Sunday dinner with Uncle Preston and myself. When you’re at church you’re careful to keep as many people as possible between you and Miss Jackson.

“Ross, old buddy, you’re avoiding Mandy Jackson like the plague, and I wish I knew why.”

“I wish I did, too.”

“Now it’s your turn to explain your cryptic remark.”

“Pete, do you have any idea of what it’s like to have a girl look at you the way Mandy looks at me?”