A Life Restored (26 page)

She woke again in the late afternoon.
 
Her stomach cried to be fed, so she sat down at the table and picked at the plate of food from Betty in between quiet sobs.

She wanted love to overcome all odds.
 
She wanted her love to win Thomas—for him to love her as much as she loved him—and for their love to conquer this present dispute.
 
But, she couldn’t see how.

Perhaps time is what they needed.
 
Time to cool down while he was on his next ride.
 
Then maybe the day after Christmas, after he returned to town, he would seek her out and set things right.

Once Caroline finished with her meal, she dressed for bed, even though it was still light out.
 
Burying her face in her pillow, she cried herself to sleep.

Sometime later, she woke to a pounding on her door.
 
It had still been daylight when she retired so she hadn’t even set the lamp on her night stand.

“Caroline.”

Thomas.
 
What could he possibly want?
 
Whatever it was, she didn’t care.
 
She wanted nothing more to do with him.
 
He could just stand outside and freeze!

The pounding continued.
 
“I know you’re in there.
 
Please, Caroline.
 
Let me talk to you.”

She stuffed her head under her pillow to muffle the sound.

“I’m sorry.
 
I was wrong.”

Still he knocked on the door.

Throwing the pillow aside, she threw back the covers and found a lamp.
 
She lit it and stood in front of the door.

“Caroline.”

She looked at her clock.
 
It was after midnight!
 
What was he doing here?

“Stop it!
 
You’ll wake Abraham.”

“Caroline, please.
 
I’m sorry.
 
I’m a pitiful, jealous man.
 
I’m sorry.
 
Please let me talk to you.”

She stood, hand hovering over the latch.
 
Don’t let him in.
 
Remember what he said.
 
But, he didn’t mean it.
 
He came to apologize.
 
It’s too late in the night.
 
Have him come back in the morning.
 
But, he wouldn’t go away if she didn’t listen.

“Caroline, please forgive me.”

She ignored the war within her mind and she slowly lifted the latch.

Thomas swallowed hard when she opened the door and let him in.
 
She looked so beautiful with her long golden hair falling to her waist, part of it over her shoulder, cascading down her front.
 
She was in her night dress—no robe he noted.

The sight of her made him mute.
 
All his words of apology blurred in his lightheaded mind.
 
Maybe he had one drink too many.
 
He hadn’t kept close count.
 
But he wasn’t drunk.
 
Just a little loose and lightheaded.

Goodness, she was attractive.
 
The night dress did little to calm his racing heart.
 
It hid just enough of her curves to entice his imagination and spark a smoldering ember of passion.

She closed the door behind him.
 
Then she crossed her arms over her chest, further chipping away at his hard fought self-control.

“Don’t you think you’ve said enough already?”

He allowed the words to pierce his heart.
 
He deserved it.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching out to touch her.
 
She backed away.
 
“I was jealous.”

“Why?”

Why was he jealous?
 
Because he loved her.
 
He wanted her for himself.
 
He didn’t want any man to look at her in the way he did.

“I love you.”

His heart beat so hard within his chest he was certain she could hear it.
 
His palms grew sweaty.
 
She glared at him.
 
He longed to pull her into his arms and kiss her, show her how much he loved her.

She took another step back.
 
Then she turned and started pacing.

“You have a funny way of showing it!”
 
Her voice went hoarse as the tears started to flow.
 
“I’ve never been with a man, yet you accuse me of being… of…”
 
She threw her arms up in the air and let them fall at her side.

He let her anger wash over him.
 
“I know.
 
I was wrong.
 
So very wrong.
 
Please, give me another chance.”

She stepped closer to him and poked him in the chest.
 
“You have no right to be jealous.”

“I know.”

“No…
 
You don’t know.
 
I love
you
!
 
Not another man.
 
You!”

“You do?”

She nodded, swiping at her tears impatiently.

He pulled her to him.
 
A big mistake.
 
The thin night dress did little to calm the fire in his veins that ignited instantly.
 
He brought his lips down to hers and drank greedily of her sweetness.
 
His hands roamed over her back as he pressed her closer.

She hooked her arms around his neck and held him tight.
 
She responded to his kiss with such intensity he took a step back to lean against the door, tightening his hold on her.

Hungry desire took over the little bit of sense he had left.
 
The lightheadedness from the alcohol intensified with the intoxicating feel of her body pressed against his.
 
He swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed.

A moment of sanity interrupted his passionate kisses as he stopped for a breath.
 
Her green eyes glowed in the light.
 
She pulled his lips down to hers and kissed him with such desire he lost all hope for control.

In the only way he knew how, he showed Caroline how much he loved her.

The next morning, Thomas stirred as dawn threw a few rays of light in through the window.
 
The sweet smell of Caroline’s hair roused him fully awake.
 
She lay next to him, her head on his bare chest.

What had he done!

Oh, sweet innocent Caroline!

He gently slid her off of his chest.
 
Then he slowly, very carefully climbed from her bed.
 
Panic shot through him as he searched for his clothes.
 
He quickly dressed.

Hesitating for a moment, he stood and looked at her sleeping form.
 
Then he bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek.
 
She murmured something then rolled over.

Quietly, he crept across the room to the door, closing it behind him.
 
As he carefully made his way down the stairs, he looked up and down the street to make sure no one saw him.
 
Once at the bottom of the stairs, he rushed across the street.
 
Just a few feet shy of reaching the bunkhouse door, he heard his name.

“Thomas!”
 
Paul grabbed his arm.
 
A dark scowl crossed his forehead.
 
“What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

Paul crossed his arms, his stern gaze never leaving Thomas’s face.

“Look, I’ll fix it.
 
I’ll make everything right when I get back.”

“How will you do that?”

“I’ll marry her.
 
I’ll provide a home for her.
 
I’ll do right by her.”

Paul shook his head in disbelief.
 
“How could you?
 
She was an innocent young woman—barely even a woman.
 
Were you drunk?”

Thomas brushed past him, wanting to escape from the question.
 
A strong hand came down on his shoulder.

“Were you drinking?”

“What does it matter?” he shot back.
 
“I made a mistake.
 
I’ll make it right, I promise.”

He shrugged off Paul’s hand and darted inside.
 
Finding his bunk, he laid down, overwhelmed by his own failure.

This was the worst mistake of his life.
 
Worse than robbing a bank.
 
Worse than stealing.
 
Oh, he had stolen alright.
 
He stole her trust.
 
He knew better.
 
She trusted him and he led her down a path that would change their lives forever.

He had to leave on his next run to La Paz.
 
But he would be back late on Christmas Day.
 
He would make everything right.
 
He would marry her.
 
He could still fix this.
 
No one would have to know he dishonored her.
 
Her reputation would be safe.

Turning his head into his pillow, he cried.
 
He really messed up this time and it was Caroline who stood the chance of paying the biggest price for it.

Chapter 27

Thomas mounted his horse, eager to be on his way home to Prescott.
 
This ride seemed longer than any before.
 
His thoughts hounded him constantly about what he had done and what would await his return to Prescott this evening.

He was the worst kind of man for taking advantage of Caroline’s trust and of the situation.

To make it right, he would marry her tomorrow, if he could convince Reverend Page to hurry the wedding.
 
He and Caroline were due to head out to Colter Ranch to spend the day with family.
 
Though she might wish to get married in front of her friends and family, he would insist they marry in town before leaving.
 
He was too scared that Will or Hannah would talk her out of it.
 
Then again, Adam might not even permit her to marry him.

No, the best course of action was to marry her in the morning.
 
If Reverend Page refused, then he would ask the judge to perform the ceremony.

This not how he envisioned marriage.
 
He snorted.
 
He never saw himself getting married.
 
Now he had to—for Caroline’s sake.
 
It was the honorable thing to do.

Marriage would not be so bad, he tried to convince himself.
 
She was beautiful and she stirred his blood like no other.
 
When he staved off his jealousy, he easily recognized that she had a good heart.
 
She cared about others and always offered a friendly and encouraging smile.
 
His only concern was about their tendency to argue.
 
That would get old very quickly.

Perhaps it wouldn’t.
 
He would only see her for a few days every seven days or so.
 
His job would have him gone often.
 
Their time together would be limited.

The heaving of his horse’s sides reminded him to pay attention to the road.
 
He was just yards from the next station.
 
Once there, he reined in his horse and dismounted.

As he threw the saddle bags over the rump of the waiting mare, the station master commented, “Looks like snow.”

Thomas followed the man’s raised finger to the sky.
 
Dark gray clouds hung low.
 
In the distance, the top of the mountain to Prescott vanished behind the clouds.
 
For the first time that morning, he noticed the cold wind starting to pick up.
 
If it was this chilly on the valley floor, he could only imagine how frigid it would be going up that mountain.

He quickly mounted his horse and pressed her for top speed.
 
If a nasty snow storm was rolling in, he would do whatever he could to beat it.
 
He had to get to Caroline today.

As the hours passed and as he continued to change horses, he grew more and more concerned about whether or not he would be able to make it to Prescott.
 
The pregnant clouds were ready to birth a chilly snow storm in a fitful rage.

A mile out from Perry Quinn’s ranch, the snow started to fall in heavy blankets, dusting the grassy valley.
 
When he arrived, Perry stood waiting for him—no horse saddled and waiting.

“Thomas,” Perry greeted.
 
“Please come inside and warm up.”

“Where’s my horse?”

Perry let out a heavy sigh.
 
“Don’t think you should be pressing on in this weather.
 
It’s getting pretty bad down here.
 
That mountain is gonna be dangerous.”

Thomas scowled.
 
“I have to make it into Prescott tonight.”

“That’d be a fool’s errand.
 
The mail is not worth risking your life.”

I have to get to Caroline.
 
Thomas bit his tongue to keep the words to himself.

“Are you going to saddle me a horse or do I have to do it myself?”

Perry shook his head.
 
As Thomas turned toward the stables, Perry grabbed his arm.

“Please, stay the night with us.
 
It’s not safe for you to continue today.
 
Wait out the storm here.”

Thomas shook off Perry’s hand.
 
“I have to go.”

“At least have Christmas dinner with us before you go.
 
Warm up.
 
Go with a full stomach.”

He saw through the offer.
 
Perry was trying to use his hospitality to get him to stay.
 
It wouldn’t work. Caroline was waiting for him up that mountain.
 
Snow storm or not, he was going to her as quickly as possible.

“I’m going.”

He led his spent horse to the stable and removed his gear.
 
He selected the chestnut mare, one of his favorites, and got her ready for the ride in a matter of minutes.
 
When he led her from the barn, Perry stood in the doorway, arms crossed.

“Step aside,” Thomas said, annoyed that Perry seemed so set on delaying him.

“I will not.”

Thomas pulled his pistol from his belt.
 
“Step aside.”

“You would really shoot me for trying to keep you safe?”

He cocked his gun.
 
Narrowing his eyes, he replied, “Naw.
 
I’d shoot you for standing in the way of me delivering this mail.”

Several seconds ticked by.
 
Perry stood steadfast.
 
Finally, Thomas waved the pistol at him and he moved.
 
Once outside, he uncocked the pistol and holstered it before mounting the mare.

“Don’t be foolish!”

He heard Perry’s voice over the thundering of his horse’s hooves.

He did not look back.
 
Instead, he pressed the horse forward, despite the cold snow swirling around him.

As he reached the base of the mountain, his cheeks stung from the cold.
 
He still had more than an hour or two to go before he would reach town.
 
Maybe longer, since the snow grew heavier and made it nearly impossible to see the trail.
 
Pausing for a moment, he tied his bandana around his nose, cheeks, and mouth, leaving only his eyes exposed to the elements.

With a shiver he pushed the horse forward up the mountain.

About a half hour up the side of the mountain, his horse’s hooves started to slip on the trail.
 
She nickered and spooked with each step.
 
He leaned forward, resting his torso on the back of her neck as he whispered soft words in her ear.
 
She calmed some.

Suddenly, her hoof slipped.
 
She lost her footing.
 
She scrambled near the edge.
 
Frightful whinnies broke from her mouth.
 
Thomas pulled back hard.
 
He tried to steer her away from the edge.
 
Her hoof slipped over the side.

As she slid off the trail, her front legs gave out.
 
He flew over the top of her head.
 
He landed on the frozen ground with a hard thud.
 
She fell on top of his left leg.
 
The snapping sound sent waves of nausea over him.
 
The horse rolled from his leg and fell to her death, screaming wildly all the way.

The force of his fall rolled him further down the mountain.
 
His arms flailed.
 
He grabbed for anything that would stop his descent.
 
His chest smacked into a thick pine tree.
 
The air
wooshed
from his lungs.
 
Then he fell no further.

He closed his eyes as the pain ripped through his body.
 
Warmth rushed to his face as the pain overwhelmed him.

He opened his eyes again.
 
He looked at his leg and saw the white of bone protruding from his flesh and trousers.
 
Waves of warmth and lightheadedness washed over him.
 
He could not breathe.

His eyes fluttered shut.

Lord, I don’t want to die.
 
Don’t let me die.
 
I have to make things right for Caroline.

Blackness floated before his eyes and pulled him under.

Caroline had been in a wonderful mood all week.
 
Thomas loved her.
 
She loved him.
 
Perhaps Margaret had been right.
 
Love could overcome anything.

Memories of her night with Thomas brought a blush to her cheeks as she stoked the fire in her stove this Christmas morning.

She should not have let him into her room that night.
 
She should feel some remorse for it, but she didn’t.
 
Well, maybe she did some.

As her mind churned through her situation this week, she came to only one conclusion.
 
Thomas would absolutely marry her now.

She smiled.
 
Her heart wanted nothing else.
 
She could hardly wait for him to return tonight.
 
She was certain he would ask her to marry him.

She already knew how the wedding would play out.
 
They would get married out at Colter Ranch in front of her friends and family.
 
Adam would probably try to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t listen.
 
He couldn’t stop her from marrying Thomas.
 
Besides, she would easily be able to convince Adam that her heart would settle for no one else.

Everyone would celebrate and be happy for them.
 
True love would win.
 
Then she and Thomas would head back to Prescott as husband and wife.

No one would ever know that she gave herself to him before they were married.

They would live happily in the little room above the store.

A flicker of sadness dimmed her joy.
 
He would probably be gone a lot.
 
She had no doubt he would keep his dangerous job riding for the express.
 
She would miss him so much when he was gone.
 
But, she would make up for it when he was in town.
 
She would cook his favorite meals and spend as much time with him as possible.
 
Maybe she could ask Abraham for those days off.

If he let her keep her job.

Her heart pounded in her chest.
 
She would be bored senseless if he made her quit working at the store.
 
They wouldn’t be able to live here.
 
They would have to build a cabin in town.
 
What would she do with herself?

And what were his favorite meals?
 
She had no idea.
 
It wasn’t something they had talked about.

Her hands grew sweaty.
 
What had they discussed in their times together?
 
What did she really know about him?

She stood from her seat at the table and went to the kitchen to wipe her hands.
 
She put some water on the stove for tea as her stomach started to turn.

Caroline tapped her finger against her temple.
 
Think.
 
What did she know about him?

He was from Ohio.
 
He was handsome.
 
He had a good job.
 
He made her heart dance every time she saw him.
 
Her cheeks flushed again as she remembered the last time she saw him.

Then reality hit hard, knocking her back a step.
 
None of these things were enough to build a marriage on.
 
That’s what Mama would tell her.

What had she done!

He didn’t even share her beliefs—not that she did a good job of living out those beliefs lately.