A Life Restored (27 page)

She prepared some tea and brought the cup and teapot to the table.
 
Sinking into the chair, she rested her head in her hands.

This was a dreadful mess.
 
Worse than kissing Jesse or Nathan.
 
Worse than anything she had done before.

She was a wretched Christian.
 
How could she even call herself that after what she did?

But, she had to marry him, didn’t she?
 
It was the only answer to making all of this right.

She slowly sipped on her tea, listening to the howling wind outside.
 
The noise sent shivers up her spine, fitting her sullen mood.
 
A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away.

She glanced at the clock on her wall.
 
She needed to meet Betty and Paul to head out to the ranch soon.

She checked her pile of wood, not wanting to worry about it when she returned later.
 
It was low.
 
She shrugged her coat on and opened the door.

A foot of snow hid the landing outside her door with little wisps swirling away on the wind.
 
She grabbed her broom, for lack of anything better, and began brushing the snow off the landing and over the back open railing.
 
Once the landing was clear, she closed her door and worked on each stair one at a time until she made her way to the bottom.

Caroline paused, catching her breath.
 
She looked up and down the streets—empty of everything except snow.
 
She set her broom against the outside wall of the store then she went to get several logs from underneath the stairs.
 
Arms full, she climbed the stairs carefully.
 
At the top of the stairs, she nudged the door open with her foot and piled the wood just inside the door.
 
She made several more trips, wondering how long the snow might fall or how deep it would get.
 
Once she had a good supply upstairs, she retrieved her broom and closed up her small room.

Carefully making her way back down the stairs, she crossed the street through a foot or more of snow to Lancaster’s.
 
She didn’t feel like she would be very good company, but neither did she want to spend Christmas day sulking alone in her room above the store.

“Dear!”
 
Betty exclaimed at the sight of her shaking the snow from her cold booted feet just inside the dining hall.
 
“I’m so glad you ventured out, but I’m sorry we won’t be able to go out to Colter Ranch.
 
Paul says he thinks it is going to continue to snow throughout the day.”

Caroline greeted Betty with a hug.

“Come sit by the fire, dear.
 
Here’s some coffee to warm you up.”

She took the offered coffee, mostly so the heat would thaw her cold fingers as she sat near the fire place.
 
Several boarders sat at the tables around the room.
 
Some played cards while others talked of news from around the territory.

“You look worried, dear.”
 
Betty took the seat next to her.

“Thomas should be coming back today.”

A heavy sigh lifted Betty’s shoulders.
 
“I know.
 
I’ve been praying for his safety.
 
Hopefully he had the good sense not to try to come up that mountain today.”

Caroline nodded.
 
“Maybe he’ll wait the storm out at Perry’s ranch.”

“I hope so, dear.”

Even as Betty agreed with her, Caroline could not escape a sudden, unreasonable fear picking at the edges of her heart.
 
Before she could dwell on it too long, Betty started serving up a big Christmas meal.

Following the meal, Betty led everyone in round after round of hymns and Christmas carols.
 
Caroline joined in the singing, though none of the words penetrated her heart.
 
She worried that Thomas might be stuck out in this bad weather.
 
She worried that he might not want to marry her when he returned.

Finally, the sun lowered in the sky.

“Paul, why don’t you walk Caroline home?” Betty suggested.

He held her coat for her then waited as she buttoned it up.
 
Grabbing a shovel, he swung it over his shoulder and offered her his other arm.

As soon as they were outside, he said, “Don’t worry about him.”

“Who?”

“Thomas.
 
He’ll be fine.”

She raised an eyebrow in confusion, but Paul made no further comment.
 
Once at the store, he cleared the newly piled snow from her stairs and the landing.
 
Then he carried several more armloads of wood up to her room.

“Merry Christmas, Caroline.”

“Merry Christmas.”

She turned and climbed the stairs.
 
At the top, she glanced down the street towards the direction Thomas would ride in.
 
No wagons lined the streets.
 
No men on horseback.
 
No hoof prints in the two feet of snow.
 
Everyone was huddled safely inside away from the angry, snarling snow.

Still there was no sign of Thomas.

Her heart sank as she sealed herself in her warm room.
 
As she banked the fire in her stove, she shot a prayer heavenward.

Lord, I know I don’t deserve to have you listen to my prayers.
 
I’ve failed miserably.
 
I hurt myself and I hurt you.
 
But, if I might ask just this one thing—please keep Thomas safe.

A few days later, the snow finally stopped.
 
Caroline had not tried once to leave her cozy room.
 
With the wood both she and Paul piled inside on Christmas day, she had no need to leave.
 
She opened the door earlier this morning and found snow piled almost to her waist.
 
She quickly shut the door, before any toppled inside.

The air stayed very cold.
 
She needed more water, but didn’t see how she would manage getting out of her room, much less down the stairs and out back to the pump.
 
Even if she did make it to the pump, it would probably be frozen.

Grabbing a pan from the stove, she opened her door and scooped up a pan-full of snow.
 
In a few minutes over the heat of the stove, the snow turned to sweet water, quenching her thirst.

The next few days repeated a similar routine.
 
She was never more thankful that her pantry had been well stocked just prior to the onset of the snow storm.
 
She fixed meals from items in her pantry and she melted snow from the landing for her water.

Another day passed, now a week and a half after Christmas.
 
Caroline finally braved the chilly temperatures.
 
She cleaned off the landing and the stairs then made her way down to the store.

“Glad to see you survived,” Abraham greeted her as she entered.
 
“I was gonna clear off your stairs and check on you in a bit, but looks like you saved me the trouble.”

“Have you been out at all?”

“Nope.
 
I came into the store a few times and peeked out the front windows.
 
Haven’t seen any activity until today.
 
If you’re feeling up for it, I’d like to open the store today for folks.”

“That would be fine.”

In the week that followed, the weather seemed temperamental.
 
The sun came out and blazed for a few days, melting all the snow off in a hurry and warming the ground to a sticky gooey mud.
 
Then, just as Caroline didn’t think she could stand to mop the store floor one more time, the weather turned frightfully cold again.
 
Snow began falling in sheets just like the week of Christmas, piling foot after foot on the ground.

Abraham shared his concerns with her one morning when the skies had been clear enough for her to venture down to the mercantile again.

“We’re running low on a number of items.
 
Coffee, sugar, flour, tea.
 
Don’t think we’re going to get resupplied any time soon, either.
 
Once this snow melts off, it’ll be back to the mud.
 
The roads up the mountain will be pretty rough on the freighters.
 
Just hope this all clears up soon.”

Caroline did, too.
 
There was still no sign of Thomas, going on three weeks after Christmas.
 
If what Abraham said was true, she didn’t think he would fare much better on bad, sticky, muddy roads.

She just wanted him home.
 
Soon.
 
So they could get married before anyone discovered her secret.

Chapter 28

Sweat soaked his hairline.
 
He heard voices talking, but he couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or if the voices spoke about him in real time.

“Mollie,” a male voice said.
 
“What do you have there?”

Cold air hit his face and Thomas thought to complain but his lips felt as if they had been sewn shut.

“Found ‘im busted up like this over th’edge,” a woman’s voice replied.
 
“He’s lucky that his mount done screamed all the way to her bloody death.”

“Why did you bring him here?”

“Cause, Perry, my man won’t take none too kindly to me showin’ up with this here half-dead un.
 
Specially since him and me didn’t ‘xactly part on the best of terms.”

“Yes, but why here?”

Thomas heard the grunt of several men under the strain of a heavy weight.
 
He felt himself float then rest on a soft warm bed.
 
Warmth.
 
At last.

“You the only one in these parts that ever treated me nice.
 
Cain’t just drop off a half-dead man with just anybody.
 
I know you.
 
You’ll save ‘im if ya can.”

“That I will.”

Thomas didn’t hear anything more for some time.
 
Then later another conversation penetrated his weary mind.

“Gotta do it, Perry.”

“I can’t, Hank.
 
I wouldn’t know how.”

“You look outside lately?
 
Snow’s a blowing something fierce.
 
There’s no chance we could get him to Prescott.
 
Not any time soon.
 
And there ain’t no doctor in Wickenburg.
 
You gotta set that leg.
 
Then sew him up.
 
It’s his only chance.”

Silence.

Thomas wanted to plead with Perry to do as Hank said for whoever needed it.
 
The fear in Hank’s voice said the poor man didn’t have much hope to survive without Perry’s help.

“I’ll do it.
 
Lord, give me the strength.”

A hard tug on Thomas’s leg nearly brought him upright.
 
But searing hot pain pushed him under again.

Thomas woke with a start.
 
His breath came with sharp stabs to his ribs.
 
He looked around, confused about where he was or how he had gotten there.
 
Something seemed familiar about the cabin.

How did he get here?

Pain shot up his left leg and he took in a rapid breath of air.
 
More pain, this time from his ribs, forced the breath to be shallow.
 
His head started pounding.

He tried to recall what he last remembered.
 
Arguing with Perry about going up the mountain on Christmas day.

The pain intensified and his stomach roiled.
 
His body shook uncontrollably, like he was chilled, yet he felt like his skin was on fire.
 
A groan escaped his lips.
 
Then another.

“You’re awake,” a male voice said.

Thomas tried to keep his eyes open to see the man, but the pain was too much.

“Drink this.”

Liquid touched his lips and he swallowed.
 
It burned a trail all the way to his stomach.
 
Any clear thoughts grew hazy and soon the pain numbed.
 
Sleep called to him again.

 
“Thomas.”

He groaned in response.

“Wake up.”

His heavy eyes slowly opened.
 
A familiar face hovered over his.

“Perry?”

“Yes.”

“What happened?”
 
The fog of sleep began to clear.
 
Thomas felt terrible.
 
His left leg throbbed.
 
His throat was parched.
 
His entire body felt stiff and sore.
 
Pain shot from several places, but it didn’t feel as overwhelming as before.

“Here drink this,” Perry said, bringing a cup to his lips while he cradled Thomas’s head in his arm.

He took several sips then Perry gently laid his head back down on the pillow.

“You had an accident.”

“What kind of accident?”

“You fell down the side of the mountain.”

He panicked.
 
“When?”

“Almost a month ago.”

Thomas struggled to sit upright.
 
He had to get to Caroline.
 
He was supposed to marry her.
 
That much he remembered.
 
“I have to go.”

“Lay down.”

Perry’s grip on his shoulders pushed him back into the bed.
 
Thomas tried to struggle but he felt weary and weak.

“Take it easy.
 
Here, drink some more.”

A foul liquid touched his tongue leaving a bitter aftertaste.

“I have to go, Perry.”
 
His eyelids started to feel heavy.
 
“I promised I would make things right with Caroline.”

Anger shaded Perry’s reply.
 
“What did you do to her that you have to make right?”

Sleep slurred his words.
 
“I have to mmmarrrry…”

The next time Thomas woke, he felt more alert.
 
There was less pain now.
 
He looked around the room as memories became clearer.

He wronged Caroline.
 
He was on his way to her to marry her.
 
But he was caught in the snow storm.
 
His horse…
 
He remembered falling.
 
He remembered the icy cold.

Then he remembered Perry saying he had been here a month.

Thomas closed his eyes again, this time in frustration and not in sleep.
 
What must Caroline think of him?

She probably thinks I ran.
 
A tear slid down his cheek.
 
He had more honor than that.
 
He had to get to her.

He started to sit up when strong arms held him against the bed.

“Stop moving.”
 
A scowling Perry leaned over the bed.
 
“You’re going to hurt your leg again and it is far from being healed.”

“I have to get to Caroline.”

“So you keep saying.”
 
Perry’s voice sounded cold.

“I have to—”

“Marry her.
 
Yes, I understand.
 
Whether you remember it or not, you recounted the entire reason why you have to marry her.”

Perry faced him, anger creasing deep lines in his forehead.
 
“How could you take advantage of such a sweet young woman?”

“I love her.”

“Love!
 
That was not love, Thomas.
 
That was a complete lack of respect and self-control.
 
That was lust!”

He swallowed back his defense.

“You have no idea what love is.”
 
Perry spat out the words before storming out of the cabin.

Perry was right.
 
Thomas did not have any idea what love was.
 
He never felt it before—not until he met Caroline.
 
But he did love her.
 
No matter how wrong his deed was, it did not change his heart.
 
He loved her completely.

And he had to return to her.

Throwing back the covers, Thomas swung his right leg over the side of the bed.
 
Then he tried to move his left.
 
He couldn’t make it move on its own.
 
Looking down, he noted the large wrapping of bandages around it.
 
At first he thought it might not all be there.
 
But it was.
 
It just wasn’t working quite right.

He grabbed his thigh and dragged the sluggish appendage over the side of the bed.
 
As soon as his foot hit the floor, fierce pain shot through his leg forcing all the air from his lungs.
 
Sweat beaded on his forehead.
 
A wave of nausea flowed over him.
 
His vision danced and blurred.
 
He screamed, unable to stop himself.

The door flew open.

“What are you doing!”
 
Perry shouted as he reached down and returned Thomas’s left leg to the bed.
 
Next he lifted the other.
 
Then he helped him lie down.

“You are in no condition to go anywhere.”

“Caroline—”

“Enough!
 
You will lie in that bed until I say you can get up or I will get the boys and we’ll tie you to it.
 
Is that understood?”

Thomas nodded.

Perry’s anger subsided.
 
“Good.
 
Now drink this.”

The fog returned and he slept again.