A Life Restored (30 page)

Returning his attention to the meal, Perry started peeling potatoes.

“I can do that,” Thomas offered.
 
Perry handed over the knife and potatoes, moving on to other preparations.

“You seem in much better spirits.”

“I am.”

The silence stretched as Perry cut the peeled potatoes into smaller chunks.

“When can you take me home?” Thomas asked.

Perry didn’t answer right away.
 
Instead, he dropped the potatoes into a pan with hot lard.
 
He added some salt and stirred before he turned around to face Thomas.

“I think it would be best if you stay for a few more weeks or a month.
 
Start moving around more.
 
Maybe you can help with the horses in the morning and when the boys return in the evening.
 
See how you to do before we attempt such a long trip.”

He resisted the urge to argue.
 
He was ready to go home—ready to marry Caroline if she would still have him.
 
But he saw the wisdom in Perry’s suggestion.

So he waited.

Over the next week he worked on fashioning a cane out of a sturdy branch Perry brought him.
 
He used it to hobble around the cabin.
 
It was exhausting, but each day he pushed himself more and more.

The following week he fell into a routine of walking to the stables.
 
Then he would sit and rest for a while before he started caring for the horses.
 
Once the horses were readied and the men off to herd their cattle, Thomas tried picking up other light chores in the barn.
 
By noon, he was worn out and headed back to the cabin for a nap.

After his nap, he stayed in or near the cabin, often times sitting on the porch reading Perry’s Bible.
 
He had not told Perry about his transformation, but he thought Perry suspected the truth.

The days rolled by until Thursday morning came and so did reality invade Thomas’s shelter.
 
As Perry was leaving to go herd his cattle, he stopped in the doorway.

“Do you think you could ready a horse for the express rider this afternoon?”

Thomas sucked in a quick breath of air, feeling like he had been punched in the gut.

A frown formed on Perry’s forehead.
 
“I thought you heard him come through earlier this week.”

“When did he start?”
 
He tried not to sound hurt as he asked the question.

“He’s been through three or four times now.
 
Since the beginning of March.”

Thomas agreed to see to the express rider’s horse, a little perturbed with Perry.
 
Then another thought occurred to him as Perry closed the door behind him.
 
Had Perry let anyone in Prescott know he was alive and recovering?
 
Did Caroline know or had she assumed the worst?

Hurrying—well as much as he could with his bad leg—he made his way to Perry’s desk.
 
He shuffled through the drawers until he found some paper and something to write with.
 
He sat down and thought about what he would write.

What could he say to Caroline?
 
That he loved her.
 
That he changed.
 
That he never meant to leave her this long and he would be there just as soon as he could.

Maybe she didn’t want to hear from him.
 
Maybe she grew to despise him when she had a chance to fully realize the consequences of their last night together.

Staring at the blank sheet of paper, he finally decided not to write.
 
He would see her soon enough.
 
It would be better to speak his heart in person and not give her room to misinterpret his words on paper.
 
Surely she would be able to see the love in his eyes and hear the sincerity in his words.

Sighing, he stood and checked the clock on the wall.
 
The rider would be here soon enough and it still took Thomas much too long to walk to the stables and to get a horse ready.
 
He grabbed his cane and began to hobble toward the barn.

Chapter 31

Caroline stifled the tears that threatened to spill over as she heaved into the pit of the outhouse.
 
The awful smell intensified the roiling of her stomach.
 
She wretched a second time, though there was nothing left to expel.

She could deny it no longer.
 
Soon everyone would know.

And Thomas was missing or dead or gone.
 
It depended on which rumor she listened to.

One rumor, supposedly started by that lush—Cowboy Mollie—down at the saloon, reported that Thomas might be alive.
 
She found him nearly dead and left him with one of the ranchers down in the valley below the mountain.

Caroline didn’t put much faith in this rumor.
 
Mollie had a reputation for being loose with her tongue, her liquor, and with many men who weren’t her husband.
 
She wasn’t trustworthy.

Another rumor spread that Thomas had run off with some woman.
 
No one could describe this mystery woman.
 
Nor could they provide any more details.

Still more rumors swirled.
 
He was dead.
 
He was seen in Wickenburg recently.
 
He ran because he got some poor girl pregnant.

That last one nagged at Caroline’s conscience.
 
It seemed the most likely reason to her, especially since she would be the girl he was running from.

A sob escaped her lips and she stifled it with her fist.

“Caroline?”
 
Abraham’s voice came from the other side of the outhouse door.
 
“Are you alright?
 
One of the customers said she thought you might be ill.”

Great.
 
Some of the town busybodies probably already suspected her condition.

“Fine.
 
I’m fine.
 
I’ll be in shortly.”

A few seconds of silence ticked by before the shuffling of Abraham’s feet let her know she was alone again.
 
She cracked open the door just to be certain.

Stepping from the outhouse, she hurried to the water pump.
 
She filled a bucket with some water and dipped a cup in.
 
Then she drank of the cool water, letting it settle her stomach, though it could not settle her fears.

Fear.
 
It described her state of mind for months now.
 
She first thought she might be with Thomas’s child five weeks after the night she spent with him.
 
Then as each week and month passed, she grew more certain.

Last week, she worked into the night to start letting out some of the fabric at her waistline on her dresses.
 
She plotted ways to hide the little mound that started bulging her belly.
 
It was small and easily hidden now.
 
But, soon enough it would not be.
 
Tongues would wag.
 
Her reputation would be tarnished.

Her reputation was the least of her worries.
 
What would she do if Thomas didn’t return to marry her as she hoped?
 
She would either have to find a husband who would overlook her mistake—how could she ask that of any one—or she would have to raise this child alone.
 
Neither option felt right.

She wanted Thomas back.
 
Only every little hope she held on to eventually was torn away.

Dinner after services yesterday acted as a murderer of her hopes.
 
She remembered the conversation all too well.

“I miss Thomas,” she confessed during a lull in the conversation.
 
Julia, who sat to her right, squeezed her hand.

“I wouldn’t pine over him, if I were you,” Hannah said, a frown wrinkling her normally graceful face.

“Why not?”

Hannah started to say something, but Adam interrupted.

“How well do you know him?”

“Well enough.”

“Really?”

Exasperated, Caroline replied with an edge to her tone, “I know him well enough to miss him.”

Hannah whispered, “I doubt that.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Do you know what he did in Cincinnati?”

Caroline shook her head, failing to see what this had to do with anything.

“He was a drunk and a gambler and a—”

“Enough.”
 
Will’s command caused Hannah to purse her lips.

Julia’s jaw slackened.
 
Later she told Caroline she had never seen Will speak to Hannah so firmly and that she had never seen Hannah so angry before.

It didn’t matter.
 
What Hannah did manage to say shredded Caroline’s hope.
 
She did not really know Thomas.
 
She knew little about his past and little about how he spent his time when he was in La Paz.
 
If what Hannah said was true, she would not be surprised to learn of him drinking or gambling when he was there.
 
Perhaps he even did both when he was in Prescott.

She didn’t know.

All she knew was that she carried his child.
 
And she still loved him.
 
If he asked, she would marry him for those reasons alone.

Stirring from her tumultuous thoughts, she headed towards the front of the store.
 
A movement off to her right caught her attention and her gaze quickly followed.

Then her heart threatened to stop.
 
A man stood not more than ten feet from her.
 
Everything about him reminded her of the stage robber named Bart.
 
His height.
 
His demeanor.
 
Worse yet, he was speaking to Robert Garrett, the man who reminded her of the boss of the stage robbery.

Pin pricks danced up and down her arms.
 
Her breathing grew shallow as she moved to the shadow of the walkway in front of the mercantile.
 
She tried to listen to their conversation.

Their voices were much too low, but she gathered from Robert’s stiff posture that he was trying to distance himself from the man.
 
Finally she managed to clearly hear what Robert said.

“You have me confused with someone else.”

Then Robert turned her direction.
 
When he saw her his eyes clouded with a frown.

Caroline’s legs trembled.
 
It was the same look he gave before he murdered the first man on the day of the stage robbery.
 
Her breathing grew shallow and she forced her legs to move, taking her inside the mercantile.
 
She was positive those two men were the robbers.

“You look pale,” Abraham said, leading her to a chair in the back while nodding to customers along the way.
 
“Are you sure you’re not ill?”

“I just…
 
The stage robbers…
 
They are here.”

He nodded with understanding.
 
She told him a few weeks ago about the robbery.

“I’ll send someone to fetch the sheriff.
 
Just stay in here for now.”

A half hour later, the sheriff sat across from her in a similar chair asking her dozens more questions.
 
Seeing the two men stirred new memories of the day with clearer details.
 
She carefully recounted as many as she could to the sheriff.

“I’ve been checking into Robert Garrett,” the sheriff said.
 
“Haven’t found a thing.
 
He’s well respected down his way.
 
Seems to operate on the up and up.
 
Nobody’s got a thing against him.”

Caroline nodded.

“But, I’ll keep an eye on him when he’s in town.
 
See if anything is out of the ordinary.”

“Thank you, sheriff.”

A few days later, after her morning routine of illness, Caroline took her position behind the counter in the mercantile.

“Linny,” her brother’s familiar voice greeted her as he approached the counter.

“Adam.
 
How’s Julia?”
 
She asked, though she had just seen her a few days earlier at Sunday services.

“Sick in the mornings.
 
I guess little ones do that to their mothers.”

She half-smiled at his response.

He handed her a list.
 
“I’ll be back in an hour.
 
Then I’ll take you for some dinner before I head back to the ranch.
 
Sound good?”

She nodded.

He frowned.
 
“Are you alright?
 
You seem out of sorts.”

“I’m fine.”
 
She lied.

His green eyes searched hers.
 
Then he gave her an impromptu hug.
 
“You can tell me all about whatever is troubling you when I return.”

She nodded and waved as he left.

Looking down at the list, she scanned it and started gathering the items.
 
Abraham smiled as she entered the aisle where he was helping one of their customers.
 
She smiled back, hoping he wouldn’t ask her again today if she was well.
 
Though she had been late every morning this week, he said nothing to her.
 
Instead he asked her if she felt ill.
 
She denied it, even though she was certain her pale face gave her away.
 
At some point she would have to tell him about her situation.
 
She just hoped he would let her keep her job.
 
Without it, she didn’t know how she would be able to support her child.

“You have a strange glow about you,” a woman customer said when she rounded the next aisle.

Caroline rushed from the aisle before the woman could say anything further.
 
She knew what glow she was talking about.
 
She remembered how Mama looked when she carried each of the youngest two girls.
 
She noticed the same glow on Hannah and Julia as they both were expecting children in the coming months.
 
Unfortunately, there was no way to hide it.

Looking around the shelves she searched for the items on Adam’s list.
 
One of the items was on the shelf above her.
 
Moving closer, she stretched her arm up and stood on her tip toes.
 
As she did so, she caught the hem of her skirt under the toe of her boot, causing the fabric to pull taut over her slightly protruding belly.

“Oh!” the woman customer exclaimed as she moved into the aisle.
 
“You’re with child!”

Caroline dropped her arm immediately to her side as her face heated.

“The glow, the sickness.
 
That explains everything,” the woman customer went on in a rather loud voice.

Caroline quickly denied it.
 
“I’m not.
 
I’ve just felt a little under the weather.”

“Oh no, child.
 
You most definitely are.
 
All the signs are there.”

“I… um…”

Turning on her heel, she headed away from the customer and now stood face to face with the angriest Adam she had ever seen.
 
He grabbed her arm without a word and half-led, half-dragged her from the store, up the stairs, and into her room above the mercantile.

He let go of her arm once the door was closed and began pacing across the floor.

“Is what that woman said true?”

Caroline’s gaze darted to the ground.
 
She had never been any good at lying to Adam.

His voice was eerily calm as he asked again, “Is it?”

Tears rose to sheen her eyes.
 
She looked up at him and he stopped pacing.
 
Slowly he sank into one of the chairs by the table.
 
Disappointment shaded his eyes.
 
Disbelief slackened his features.