A Natural Act (Contradictions) (14 page)

“
Never,” he winks. “And my sister recently accused me of being a man whore so I’m not short in the experience department.”

“
Ew,” I wrinkle my nose.

“
Sorry,” he answers semi-sincerely because he’s grinning.

“
Don’t ever want you to think I don’t treasure the gift you gave me on that worktop, lady.”

I duck my head and blush.
“Why did you say what you said?”

“
Said I wouldn’t write home about it because I can’t lie to my brothers. Don’t lie, Bella. That’s not who I am.”

“
I don’t understand,” I shake my head because he’s confusing me to the extreme.

“
Because I wouldn’t tell them about it. Because it meant too much and because…” He breaks off.

“
Because,” I prompt.

“
Because they would have hit on you,” he sighs reluctantly.

“
What?” I recoil slightly, failing to understand.

“
If I’d said you were amazing, as you are, they would have tried to hit on you. Just the way you are,” he shrugs like it doesn’t bother him but I think it does. His shields are part way up again.

I study him gormlessly for a few seconds.
“Why would they hit on me?”

He sighs and grinds his teeth, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling.
“You wouldn't understand.”

“
Why?” I pout petulantly.

“
Because nobody understands,” he grumbles.

“
Try me,” I insist, reaching out to squeeze his hand because understanding this man has been my goal from the get go and I'm still miles off.

He studies me and takes a sip of his green tea and it looks like he's going to say no but he shrugs and puts his elbows on the table.
“Every girl I've ever brought home, dated, or even kissed, my brothers have hit on.”

I wrinkle my nose because that's kind of gross and kind of weird.

“Yeah,” he agrees with my reaction with a frown. “Doesn't really bother me anymore.”

He looks up and meets my eye.
“Apart from with you.”

I blush and I don't know how to reply so I focus on understanding.
“Why do they do that to you?”

He shrugs.
“They do it to Jake and Jelly too.”

“
They hit on your sister's boyfriends?” I tease, trying to cheer him up because he looks forlorn.

“
No,” he cracks a small smile. “We'd just hit 'em.”

I frown.
“That seems harsh.”

“
She's our baby sister,” he shrugs, nonplussed.

“
But-”

“
Baby. Sister.”

“
Craig,” I start to protest.

“
Know what you're thinking, lady. But Jelly is the sweetest, most adorable kid I've ever met. No man will ever hurt her. We're just making sure of that.”

“
By beating them up?” I retort sarcastically.

“
By scaring off anybody who isn't worthy.”

“
Still seems like a meat-headed thing to do,” I grumble, feeling sorry for his sister. Although it sounds like she has a pretty wonderful boyfriend at the moment so at least they didn't scare him off.

“
Whatever,” he shrugs with the boyish grin back in place. “Back to the matter at hand. You understand why I said that, Bella?”

I nod because it makes more sense now. I actually value the fact that he wouldn't discuss details of our intimate acts with his brothers.

“Good,” he nods, nudging my coffee closer to me. “Not gonna run again?”

I shake my head, slightly embarrassed that I ran without fully understanding.

“Now,” he nods contentedly. “I scared you, didn't I?”

I suddenly find the foam on the top of my coffee fascinating. Truly fascinating.

“Bella,” Craig whispers, gently tilting my head up with the crook of one finger.

“
You looked angry,” I whisper, pulling back so I can wrap my hands around me. In my defence, I'm only wearing a tank top.

Craig's hoody is over his head and pulled down over my own in the blink of an eye and he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead before he sits back down.

He waits patiently as I manoeuvre my arms into his giant sleeves before he replies. “Angry don't cover it, lady. I was fucking furious.”

“
I'm sorry,” I mumble, making a concerted effort not to cry.

He nods.
“You don't run from me, Bella.”

I nod obediently.

He sighs, and leans forwards to reach my hands. “That wasn't a threat,” he whispers gently. “Meant you should talk to me instead. Never want you to be scared of me lady.”

“
You looked angry,” I repeat with a cracking voice.

“
I will never, ever hurt you, lady. I will never raise a hand to you. I will never let anybody else hurt you. Never.”

I nod because I know that deep down. I squeeze his hands back gently to let him know this.

“Epomlepoy,” Craig mumbles.

“
What?” I ask, not hearing him properly.

“
Nothing,” he shakes his head. “Didn't mean to scare you, Bella. I expected you to have triggers after what you've been through but you've handled everything so well. I should have been more considerate.”

“
I don't want you to treat me with caution, Craig,” I reply, still thinking about what he's said.

I think I've taken it for granted how much my life has changed in recent months. I take a silent minute of silence to appreciate how truly lucky I am to have this man in my life, to be alive, and to be safe.

“I think I was mostly scared because I don't like seeing you angry, especially not because of me,” I explain eventually.

He smiles softly.
“Won't be happening again, lady.”

A whole week has gone by and we haven’t discussed the worktop incident. That’s quite frustrating but what is entirely more frustrating is that we haven’t made the kitchen steamy and unhygienic again.

He’s barely touched me. The only thing that’s changed is that he kisses me on the lips instead of the forehead most of the time now. He also pulls me onto his lap whenever we sit on the sofa together.

I’m definitely not complaining about that.

However, I’d give anything to take our relationship back to that level and those above it.

I’m well aware that he doesn’t want a relationship but if his talented tongue tells me anything, Craig has much to teach me about my own body.

I was by no means a virgin when I met Nigel, but
it’s been so long since my experimental youth that I barely remember the sexual experiences of my more adventurous days.

I need Craig to help me reactivate my sexuality. He definitely brings it out in me.

I’ve had to sleep at Carla’s a few nights this week because the twins have been using the flat since they’re working nights. On those nights, Craig sleeps at his own house and I miss his presence at night.

I’m not
certain if it’s the residual fear of nightmares so much as the lack of his warmth around me but I still barely sleep when I’m not in his arms.

He went to Leeds on Friday night to see his little sister and I’ve been on my own at the flat for two nights. Carla offered to stay with me yesterday because she could tell I was tired but I said no.

I’m too old to need a grown-up to keep my bad dreams away.

I wouldn’t say I slept well last night but I did find a good way of getting to sleep.

I found myself in the awkward predicament of being extremely, uncomfortably turned on to the point of near explosion.

Obviously, in Craig’s presence, there’s usually a lingering tingle in my nether regions but it’s enough just to furtively check him out.

But with him not in the room, my imagination was working overtime, remembering the gentle touch of his tongue against my tender flesh.

I hadn’t masturbated since my early twenties but I brought myself to not but one but two climaxes just on the memory of his touch and my own hands working rapidly to replicate the sensations
.

It was enough to wear me out so that I didn’t awaken to the zombified version of myself.

I blush just thinking about some of the X-rated things my imagination did to Doctor Carter last night but it’s accompanied by a smile because my imagination did a fantastic job in rendering him naked in my fantasies.

Now is not the time to be appreciating my imagination or the images it conjured though as Carla is walking me to the train station ready to meet Craig and his sister in Leeds.

“You okay, doll?” Carla asks me with genuine concern on her face. “Nervous?”

I shake my head but then change my mind.
“Yeah. This will be the first time I’ve properly met any of Craig’s family.”

“
You’ll be fine,” she reassures me. “Jelly’s a babe. It’s impossible not to get on with her.”

I nod because Craig said something similar. I quickly check over my shoulder and shake my head as we cross the road. I haven’t done any real travelling for a very long time. Not on my own and not quite so far.

“Isabella,” Carla addresses me sternly. “You look more than worried. What is it?”

I shake my head because I’m being silly. I quickly reach into my handbag and wrap my hand around my phone. Discretely turning vibrate off so I can no longer feel it vibrating. I already know what it is.

“Is it him?” Carla demands astutely.

I nod shamefully. The moment I left the house I
received a text asking me where I was going.

Again, no overt threat. Just Nigel letting me know that he knows where I am and I’ve not been forgotten.

I just want to forget that part of my life and move past it but he won’t let me and it’s making it hard to heal completely.

“
Don’t let that fucker get to you, babe,” Carla smiles encouragingly, her pixie like frame engulfing mine in a quick hug. “He’s not worth the worry. Me and Carter won’t let anything happen to you.”

I crack a small smile because she may be small but she’s
feisty and I’d definitely rather have this girl on my side.

“
Thanks, Carla,” I nod, slowly releasing the mobile phone in my handbag.

“
No worries, Isabella,” she grins, gesturing to the ticket barriers at the front of the station which prevent her from following me to the platform ready for my train. “You best make a dash for your train.”

I wrap my arms around her tightly. I know she had better things to do than walk me into town to get the train and I’m extremely grateful for my new friend.

“Love ya, babe,” she grins. “Make sure you keep Simon outta trouble for me.”

“
I’ll try,” I grin.

T
he warm fuzzy feeling I had upon leaving Derby fizzles out somewhat as I sit down, breathless on the train. It did end up being quite a mad dash but that’s not what’s killing my buzz.

It’s the guy sat across the aisle.

The guy who has not stopped staring at me since the train pulled out of the station. I take my mobile out of my handbag as it vibrates and try to ignore the way he’s watching me. I wish I could just delete it without looking but I can’t.

This text reads
“Going all the way to Edinburgh, darling?”

I groan and toss the stupid thing back into my handbag. I know he won’t be watching me personally. Which means he’s paying somebody to do it.

The creepy guy staring at me suddenly makes much more sense.

It sickens me but I need to keep my head straight. This is a game and I need I outplay him
. And Nigel. He’s not going to do anything when we’re on the train. If this guy is here for any other reason than to keep tabs on me, he’ll probably do it when I get off.

The guy looks a few pennies short of a pound. I shouldn’t have too much trouble outwitting him.

As the conductor makes his way down the carriage, a plan forms in my mind.

“
Tickets from Derby, please,” the elderly chap booms in that half-mumbled way all conductors seem to have mastered.

“
Excuse me,” I prompt as he reaches me and takes my pre-purchased ticket. “What time does this train reach Edinburgh, please?”

“
’Round noon, love,” he answers, glancing down at my ticket with a slightly curious frown.

“
Thank you,” I smile sweetly, watching as the conductor turns around to my potential stalker.

He purchases a ticket to Edinburgh and I keep my face as still as possible just in case I’m correct about him. I don’t want to give anything away.

I won’t say the journey is enjoyable. It’s like sitting with my naked behind on an overactive anthill.

I can barely sit still and every instinct is telling me to run but there’s nowhere to go on a train. So, I play casual.

I watch the trees rush by and count the stops. As Leeds approaches, I ask the middle-aged woman behind me in a suitably loud voice if she knows where the toilets are.

I’ve spent the last hour
surreptitiously glancing at the sign. I already know where it is but my stalker needs to know where I’m going.

I wait until the train pulls into the station to s
lide out of the bathroom and off of the train. I was planning to be smart and mix into the crowd so he didn’t see me disembark the train.

But I don’t.

I barely prevent myself from sprinting and squealing but I can’t do more than that.

I check over my shoulder a million times
and I want to run into a bathroom, lock myself in there and cry.

But the thing I want more, is to see Craig.

I want that more than anything.

So I push through the fear and I pick up the pace, jabbing my ticket into the barrier with a quick look over my shoulder to make sure
I’m not being followed.

I panic for a few seconds as my eyes rapidly scan the large overly lit
atrium but then I see him.

It seems as though he’s more
impossibly beautiful than last time I laid eyes upon him. I doubt he’d appreciate me calling him beautiful but that’s what he is; beautiful in all his masculine perfection.

He takes long strides towards me, opening his arms with that boyish grin I’ve come to love so much.

I breathe deeply and relax into his chest, blown away by how much safer I feel in his arms.

“
Missed you, lady,” he breathes against my hair.

We’re no longer in the crowded hall. We’re alone and I’m surrounded by his calming aura, the scent of cloves, and his arms.

Pure bliss.

“
I missed you too,” I answer shyly, looking up at him.

He winks and takes my hand, walking me in away from the
ticket barriers.

“
Jelly, this is Isabella,” Craig smiles proudly as he looks down at his younger sister, and by God can you tell she’s his sister. She’s stunningly beautiful with blue eyes as clear as her brother’s but with a hint of grey. She has mousy brown hair with adorable waves. She differs from Craig though in that she’s positively tiny. “Bella this is my kid sister, Jelly and her friend Jason.” He continues the introduction and gestures to the handsome man stood with his arm around Craig’s sister. He’s got the ruggedly handsome thing going on but he seems much more playful than Craig. At least on the surface.

“
My
boy
friend,” Jelly sighs at her brother exasperatedly, shaking her head.

Jason just grins and offers a hand in greeting. I take it
tentatively and shake it, trying hard not to be intimidated by his sheer size because Craig is the same build and he isn’t scary. I know from Nigel’s lithe running build that you don’t need to be big and muscly to hurt somebody.

“
Nice to meet you, J- is Jelly your real name?” I ask the young woman like a complete fool

“
No,” she smiles kindly. “My name’s Jamie-Lea, but you can call me whatever you like.”

I smile in return and it’s genuine because she’s a very kind person, even if she seems somewhat shy. I can tell by the subtle way she observes me as we walk that she’s studying me. It’s not judgemental or vicious, it’s curious and friendly.

My phone is vibrating in my pocket the whole time we’re talking to Jelly and Jason and I can’t shake the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I sneak a
peek at my phone because I’m fairly sure I’ll throw up if I don’t find out what’s happening.

I have three missed calls. He’s not called before. I don’t know what to make of that.

The most recent text reads. “Somebody just lost their job.  Enjoy Leeds.”

I know instinctively that he’s angry. He’s furious. I know what happens when he’s furious. I swallow past my fear as Jason guides us into my flat.

Craig’s been by my side the whole time. I know he’s been watching me in his usual silent way. I’m also highly aware that he can probably see what’s going on in my head.

I look up to meet his gaze and there’s pain there. I hate that.

He holds his hand out expectantly and I know I’m correct. He’s in my head.

“
It’s okay, Bella,” he prompts, a promise in his eyes.

I nod as best I can and pass him the phone and my fears along with it. He reaches out and
tucks my hair behind my ear, cupping the back of my neck in a reassuring gesture.

He presses his lips to the side of my head and
whispers against my skin. “Won’t let him get to you, lady.”

“
I know,” I whisper back, relaxing to some degree because Craig is still my saviour and I’m fairly sure he always will be.

Jelly, or Jamie-Lea rather, and I had agreed to bake a cake together. Her eyes sparkled when she suggested it and I could hardly say no to that. I haven’t baked in years but I used to really enjoy it.

Unfortunately, we find Jason’s kitchen cupboards to be painfully empty of the basics for baking and Jamie looks disheartened as she roots through them.

“
Want me to take Reed and get a few bits and bobs from the shop?” Craig asks his sister, pulling on her ponytail as only an older brother can achieve in an affectionate fashion.

Jamie’s face
lights up and she nods. “Yes, please. Try and cheer him up as well, will you?” She pouts adorably and I can tell she’s worried about her boyfriend. “He seems a bit grumpy.”

“
Yes, boss,” Craig chuckles, kissing his little sister on the forehead - just like he used to do with me - before he turns to face me.

“
You be okay here with Jelly?” He asks as he pulls me into his embrace.