A Natural Act (Contradictions) (9 page)

He must have had to work so hard to balance everything though.

“
Another question?” I ask, deciding I’ll save that conundrum for another day.

“
As many and as invasive as you like,” he chuckles.

“
Did I upset you earlier? Before you showered.”

“
No,” he frowns. “You’ve not done anything to upset me, Bella.”

“
Promise?” I prompt nervously.

“
Promise,” he nods.

I instinctively known that a promise from this man is nothing to be taken lightly. He’d have written the promise in his own blood if I’d asked him.

But that would be gross.

“
Have to go to work,” he apologises as he watches me eat.

I nod because it wasn’t like I expected him to give up his work or training to care from me.

“I’ll be just fine on my own,” I smile. “I might even enjoy it.” To be honest, I haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying my own company in a long time. When I was alone, I was always rushing around making sure everything was perfect for Nigel’s return. I never took the time to just sit and enjoy the moment.

“
Cheers,” he grunts with a smirk. “My company that bad?”

“
No!” I hurry to take back my words. “It’s just… I mean-”

“
Don’t worry, lady,” he chuckles. “Know what you meant.

I smile sheepishly because I’m fairly sure he does. I’ve not enjoyed a playful back and forth like this for as far as I can remember. It feels so normal it’s alien.

“However, you might not get the whole day alone.”

“
Oh?” I smile. “Is Carla coming over?”

He laughs.
“No she’ll probably be asleep until this afternoon. I talked to my Aunty last night just to let her know there was somebody using the flat. She said she’d stop by to say hello.”

“
Okay,” I nod nervously.

“
Don’t worry,” he grins. “She just wants to meet you. I told her you were a lawyer and she loves all things legal.”

I smile because I can relate and I wouldn’t mind having a nat
ter with a like-minded person.

And then my smile widens because I don’t remember looking forward to the day ahead for a very long time.

Craig’s Aunt Megan is an amazing woman. She didn’t even look at the still obvious bruising on my face. She just smiled warmly and hugged me the moment I opened the door.

I barely got a chance to speak as she told me all about her daughter – the flat owner – and how happy she would be that the space was being used in her absence.

I learn that Megan and her husband
run a charity that supports the military and their families. The legal ins and outs of their struggles are fascinating. It’s not an area of law which I’m all that familiar with but I quickly learn the basics from Megan.

She tells me about the work they do for the people who’ve lost members of family in service, those who have child
care needs whilst their family are on deployment, or those who feel they have been discriminated against.

Some of the case stories are absolutely
captivating and I’m almost ashamed that I haven’t used my law degree in such a constructive fashion.

To be honest, I haven’t really used the degree at all.

“Well, Isabella,” Megan says as she finishes her fourth cup of tea of the day. “I’m sorry I’ve taken up so much of your time but you’re an absolute delight to talk to and I must admit I’ve quite enjoyed our conversation.”

“
Not at all,” I smile happily. “I’m truly fascinated by the work you and your husband do. It’s most admirable.”

“
Thank you,” she responds humbly. “It happened quite naturally as a military family. My husband, brother-in-law, children, and nephews are all in the military. You learn so much and it’s easy to use that knowledge to help others.”

“
Well, I’m very impressed,” I nod.

“
Craig’s two eldest brothers are both military. Have you met them?”

I shake my head.

“They’re lovely boys. Men,” she corrects herself.

“
I’m sure they are if they’re anything like Craig,” I smile fondly.

“
Lovely but stubborn to a fault and competitive to destruction,” she laughs.

“
You wouldn’t be talking about Carters would you, Aunt Megan?” Craig calls out, the front door shutting behind him.

“
If the glove fits,” she laughs back, rising to standing so she can hug her nephew. “You ran home I see.”

He nods, bending down so he can kiss me on the cheek.

“How was your day?” I ask, blushing slightly and hoping he can’t see how happy I am to see him.

“
All the better for coming home to you,” he winks. “She been causing you trouble, Aunt Megan?”

Megan laughs, bringing her delicate fingers to cover her mouth as she does. This woman is the definition of
grace and elegance. “No of course not, dear. We’ve had a lovely discussion.”

I smile in agreement.

“In fact, I think Isabella would make a lovely addition to Supporting Arms. You could do a lot for the charity.”

I smile politely.
“Well, you’ll have to let me know if any positions open up and I’ll come for an interview.”

She laughs again.
“Darling, we just had the interview. The job is already yours if you want it.”

“
But-”

“
Don’t answer now. I’ll send you a packet with all the company info and the requirements of the role. Of course, we’re not going to be able to offer you a competitive salary. We are a charity after all.”

“
I-”

“
Do you have a mobile number?” Megan interrupts.

“
She does now,” Craig interjects handing me a phone from his pocket. “I’ll text you the number.”

She nods.
“Well, I best get back home. You know what your uncle Eric is like if he gets hungry,” she smiles. “Call me when you’ve read through all the information, Isabella. Let me know what you decide.” She hugs me delicately and with that she’s gone.

I’m left mouthing silent Os like a goldfish as I replay the last few minutes in my mind.

I think I was just offered a job.

Yes.

That’s definitely what happened.

“
You okay, lady?” Craig approaches me from behind, wrapping an arm around my waist carefully and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

I nod.
“Did you ask her to do that?”

“
What?” He feigns innocence.

“
Give me a job,” I answer reproachfully.

“
No,” he frowns. “I told her you were a lawyer and your circumstances had cost you your job.”

“
Craig-”

“
Wasn’t asking for charity, lady. It wasn’t being given. Megan doesn’t suffer fools gladly. You got offered a job because of whatever impression you made on her. You don’t want it, you say no.”

I pull away and wrap my un-cast laden arm around myself. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I feel like an awful person.

“Wasn’t telling you off, lady. Just sayin’ it how it is.”

“
I’m sorry,” I murmur, ashamed of jumping to conclusions. It just seemed too good to be true. A lot of things with Craig Carter seem too good to be true.

“
You apologise too much,” he grins, cupping my face in his hand and bringing my attention to his crystal blue eyes. “It’ll be long hours and less pay than you might expect. It’s the sort of job that’s driven by passion. You do it, you need to enjoy it. That’s why you need to consider it.”

“
Okay,” I answer quietly, nodding in affirmation. “I will.”

“
Good,” he smirks.

We’re far too close again and it’s far too intense.

But oh so enjoyable.

His breath tickles my eyelashes and I edge closer
, the force of the moment causing my breath to catch in my throat. My hands come to rest of their own accord on the hard surface of his stomach.

I’ve seen
what’s under the shirt. I know why it’s so hard. Underneath those pesky layers of cotton are abs of steel, highly tuned obliques, and a V so defined he could have been born with it.

“
Bella,” he breathes out on a low sigh.

“
Craig,” I reply but I keep my gaze down because I don’t want to lose this crackling, intense moment. It feels like an electric current between us, pulling us closer like magnets.

“
Fuck it,” he growls, his hands gently squeezing my hips as he pulls me closer.

I’m about to ask what he’s
fornicating but I don’t need to because, in a fraction of a second, his lips are on mine.

And I forget my name.

I forget every terrible thing that’s ever happened to me. I forget every time I was hurt. Every slap, kick, and punch. Every cruel word and put-down.

They
all disappear in the wake of this steaming hot but thoroughly tender kiss.

I’m breathi
ng hard as he pulls away and I already miss the feel of his lips on mine and the gentle but determined way in which his tongue brushed my lower lip.

“
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Shit,” he swears and backs away.

“
Craig-”

“
I’m so sorry, Bella.”

I frown and take two quick steps closer to him, pulling his hands away from his face before he kneads his eyeballs out.

“Bella, I’m s-”

“
You apologise too much,” I pass his words back. “Especially considering there’s absolutely nothing to apologise for.”

“
I took advantage,” he grimaces, squeezing my hands apologetically.

I laugh because the notion is ridiculous. I’ve never
wanted something so badly in all my life. That kiss was pure heaven. It was water to a parched woman.

“
Craig,” I giggle. “You didn’t take advantage of me.”

He shakes his head and sighs again, pulling away.
“I’m going for a run.”

“
No,” I shake my head and move into his path. “You’re not running away from this, Craig.”

“
Bella,” he sighs. “I need time to think.”

“
Then think out loud. With me,” I urge.

“
I lost control,” he shakes his head.

Control. He controls his diet, his exercise, his life. Everything about him is controlled. That’s why he’s struggling here. He didn’t plan on us kissing. He didn’t plan on us.

“Craig, sit down and talk with me. Please,” I plead, my eyes wide in the hope he’ll listen.

He just nods, slumping down into the sofa with zero grace.
It’s so far from the lithe, fluid motions I associate with him that it’s like watching another person.

“
Right, we need to get a few things straight,” I start because as flattered as I am that he’s worried about taking advantage to me, it’s not right.

I’m free from Nigel. Free from t
he person I had become and it’s time to claim back the old Isabella.

No.

Not claim her back. The old Isabella may have been more fun and had lots of friends but she was stupid and weak enough to let herself get put in that position.

I need to find the new Isabella. Bella. The new, stronger, wiser version of myself and that starts with the beautiful man in front of me.

“You did not take of advantage of me. You could not if you tried. I may be a little bruised but I’m not broken, Craig. You don’t need to treat me like a porcelain doll.”

He opens his mouth to interject but I’m not stopping.

“I wanted you to kiss me. You kissed me. There’s no more to it. It doesn’t need to be analysed. It doesn’t need a backstory or a script to follow. It was a beautiful, spontaneous moment which we never have to speak of again if you don’t want to but I will treasure it forever. Know why?”

He meets my eyes uncertainly and shakes his head.

“Because it was my choice. Because I wanted it. Because it marks a turning point for me. I’ll never belong to somebody again. My choices are my own.”

Craig’s eyes narrow as he studies me for what feels like a long time. I shuffle slightly on my feet, less confident under his intense glare.

“You impress me,” he smiles eventually, breathing out a slow breath.

“
You’re rather impressive yourself,” I relax and allow myself a matching smile.

“
Didn’t mean to imply you were weak or a damsel in distress, Bella. I know that’s not true.”

I nod because I know he didn’t mean anything like that. Even if that’s how it came across.

“Don’t expect anything of you but I expect more from myself. That wasn’t me and it won’t happen again.”

“
I want it to,” I pout like a child denied her desert.

He sighs deeply and rubs his hand over his face.
“Got nothing to offer you Bella. I don’t do relationships.”

I frown and wait for him to offer more information.

“I fuck and I fuck well but you want more than that, I can’t offer it.”

“
That’s utterly ridiculous, Craig,” I snap him. “I don’t want a ring on my finger. I don’t want a lifetime commitment. I want you to acknowledge that there’s something between us. Something more than a quick… an opportunity for physical release.”

He just sighs and shakes his head.
“Of course there’s more. You’re an amazing woman, Bella, but there’s nothing here for you. I admire you and I like you. I want to help you, to be a friend to you. That’s all there is to it.”

He sounds thoroughly decided and it’s written all over his face that his mind is made up. It hurts a little bit –a lot – but he’s done too much for me to hold it against him.

I know he’s attracted to me. You don’t get sizzlingly intense moments like our kiss without attraction.

There are clearly more layers to unravel here and
I get the sense I’m not talking to the real Craig right now so I decide to accept it and slowly work on peeling those layers back.

I’m not out for a relationship. I’m looking to understand the man who saved my life. I’m looking to become strong like him, to learn how to protect my inner Bella behind layers like he does.

If I can unwrap his layers, I can learn to construct my own. The kiss was just an extremely pleasant way to learn what I need to do. The intense attraction between us won’t get in my way. I can control my urges if it gives me a chance to figure this man out.