A Natural Act (Contradictions) (7 page)

She laughs at the expression on my face.
“Yup. My dad was a coach for the local boxing club. He wanted a son, he got me.”

“
I'm sorry,” I smile sympathetically.

“
Don't be,” she chuckles. “Fighting is my everything. It's given me strength of character, great friends, and a fantastic boyfriend.”

I just nod again because she's still describing
something that is inherently violent.

“
I know roughly how you met Carter,” she grimaces and I look away in case I see pity in her gaze. “What do you think of him?”

I feel heat rush to my cheeks because I don't know how to answer without sounding like an awestruck child.

“Come on, your secret's safe with me,” she grins. “I'm not about to inflate his ego even more.”

“
I'm not sure,” I answer quietly. “I don't know him very well yet. I only know that I'm indebted to him for all that he's done for- me.”

She scoffs.
“You don't owe him anything. He just did what was right and he's definitely getting something out of it.”

“
What do you mean?” I frown. I hope she doesn't think I'm sleeping with him as payment or anything awful like that.

She seems to ponder her words carefully before she replies.
“Craig is a very driven person. If he does something, he does it well. There are three parts to his life. His family will always be priority one. His medical career and fighting are everything else. Every second of his life is spent focussed one of those three things. For the first time in all the years I've known him, he seems to be taking a break from that to focus on you.”

I frown because I don't want to come between him and what's important to him.

“That's a good thing, doll. He spends so much time focusing on those things that he forgets to focus on himself. You're giving him a bit of time to slow down and think about himself for once.”

“
I'm taking time from him, not giving it,” I retort sadly.

“
That's not how he sees it, Isabella. Don't ruin this for him. I've not seen him smile like he did earlier very often.” She speaks with such determination that there's nothing I can do other than nod numbly.

“
So, like I said,” she grins again, refilling our cups from the teapot. “What do you think of Craig?”

“
I don't kn-” I begin but she interrupts me.

“
There's is not a woman on Earth who has ever looked at a Carter boy without immediately forming an opinion. That opinion is usually formed in the downstairs department.”

I laugh and almost snort my tea in a thoroughly unladylike fashion. My downstairs department has definitely had a reaction to Craig but I'd like to put that down to some primal part of my
brain that can be overruled by the more evolved parts.

“
He’s a mystery wrapped in a middle,” I sigh, choosing to focus on the bits of him which aren’t having a direct impact on the aforementioned downstairs region.

“
How so?” Carla cocks her head at me inquisitively.

“
I get the sense he’s several people wrapped up in one. Like I’m not always seeing the real Craig,” I shrug, feeling insecure and ungrateful for voicing these observations.

“
Hmm,” Carla reacts pensively. She looks slightly surprised but there’s something else there; the beginnings of a smile.

“
I’m impressed you noticed that. It implies you’re looking deeper. Craig has a tendency to adopt different personalities with different people. It takes a while to break through and figure out who he really is.”

I just nod as I contemplate her words. How close have I come to the man behind the layers?

“Carla?” I prompt, deciding to take her up on her offer of honesty.

“
Mm?” She responds around a mouthful of tea.

“
Who’s Karl?” The angry man on the phone with the power to make Craig leave when he didn’t want to was still at the forefront of my mind.

Carla
wrinkles her nose slightly. “One of his eldest brothers. Probably the one I like the least. He’s a bit of a hardass.”

“
He didn’t sound particularly amicable,” I say diplomatically.

“
He’s a bossy git,” Carly agrees with a wicked grin. “But I know he only wants what’s best for his brother. I also know he’s extremely proud of Craig and would do anything to help him achieve his goals. That’s the only reason I don’t punch him in the gonads every time I see him,” she laughs. “Well, that and the fact that I quite like his wife and I don’t think she’d thank me.”

I can’t help but chuckle. I like this lady, she’s feisty. I relax and decide to grill Carla a little more about Craig’s family. I can’t imagine how it must have
affected him to grow up without parents for the most part.

“
You don’t get to see the internal workings of the Carters very often,” Carla replies contemplatively. “They’re pretty private people. I’ve only ever seen Craig relaxed with his twin brothers once or twice. I think you see it most with his sister. I guess in private it’s probably different but as far as what you see in public, it can be pretty tense between them.”

“
Oh,” I frown. “That doesn’t sound at all as I’d imagined it. I thought they’d all be really close after losing their parents.”

“
No, don’t gemme wrong. They’re closer than any siblings I’ve ever met. It’s just very intense, very charged, and a bit scary if you’re not used to it.”

I nod but I’m not sure
what she means.

Carla just laughs.
“You’ll see what I mean if you meet them. His sister is a sweetie, you’ll love her.”

“
His whole face lit up when he talked about her,” I nod, fondly remembering the way he talked about his youngest sibling.

I don’t know how long Carla and I talked but she had to leave at some point in the late evening to start her shift at a local bar. She hugged me as she left and I felt the smallest of hope tha
t I could have a new friend. It’s been years since I’ve dared harbour any hopes of a potential relationship outside of the one I had with Nigel.

He liked me all to himself.

The apartment seems much colder without Craig or Carla and I snuggle down into the bed, wrapped in the thick duvet but still shivering.

I’m vulnerable knowing I am
alone. Every shadow that crosses the room makes me jump. I know it’s ridiculous because Nigel doesn’t know where I am but the thought of him finding me is more terrifying to my senses for logic to stand a chance.

He’s a man of many resources. I know it’s
only a matter of time before he finds me but I plan on being prepared; I’ll be stronger, wiser, and safer by then. I won’t let him take me back.

“Shh, Bella,” Craig’s voice whispers, silencing my whimpers. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

“
I’m sorry. Don’t, please don’t,” I plead, tears in my eyes.

“
Bella, wake up. It’s me. It’s Craig.”

I blink a few times and wipe my eyes on the pillow, only half aware that I’m not asleep
anymore and that Nigel is nowhere near me.

When your life has been a living nightmare for so long, it’s hard to know when you’re really awake.

I can’t stop crying despite my return to the waking world and I’m immediately engulfed in a tender embrace. He whispers gentle words of reassurance as he holds me, his encompassing strength a solid reminder that I’m safe.

In his arms, his apartment, his life.

“Bad dreams, lady?”

I nod
, sniffling as quietly as I can because he doesn’t need to hear me ugly cry.

“
I’m sorry, I should have been here sooner,” he sighs remorsefully, covering the top of my head with gentle butterfly kisses as he cradles me in his arms.

“
It’s not your fault,” I shake my head.

“
Of course it is,” he breathes out. “I want to be here to take your nightmares away.”

“
You already did. The one that mattered,” I smile genuinely. He wants to rescue me but he’s already done that. More than he’ll ever understand.

“
Want to talk about your bad dreams?” He offers. “May not be that kind of doctor but I’m a good listener.”

I shake my head. I don’t want to revisit that. Nigel may force his way into my dreams but he doesn’t warrant a place in my life any more.

I’ve wasted far too much of it on him as it is.

“
Helps to talk, Bella,” Craig whispers, gently tucking my hair behind my ear. He carefully lowers me back onto the bed and helps tuck me under the duvet.

“
I don’t want to,” I whisper quietly.

“
You dream about your ex?”

I nod and turn away from him so he doesn’t have to see my face and the fear reflected in it.

I hear a noise that sounds suspiciously like knuckles being popped before Craig sighs.

“
I’m sorry about everything he put you through, Bella.”

“
It’s not your fault and you don’t know what I went through,” I say. I’m not trying to be rude, he just doesn’t know and I don’t want him imagining I suffered more than I did. I don’t want his pity.

“
Know that. I’d like you to tell me about it sometime,” he replies, climbing into the bed beside me without touching me.

“
Why?” I ask with a hint of bitterness.

“
Because you’re going to have triggers, Bella. There are going to be things that will remind you of him, things that will scare you for no reason. Want to help you through that. Want to ensure you feel safe from now on. I want that for you.”

I’m too stunned to reply; t
oo touched by the notion of a lifetime of safety and security. It seems too good to be true.

“
Think you can get back to sleep?” He asks when I don’t respond.

I shake my head because my nightmares are still too fresh. I can almost feel his presence in the room, creeping over my skin like a sickness.

“Alright,” he sighs. “I can fix that.”

“
Can you fix everything?” I ask in a lame attempt at humour as I roll onto my back.

“
Can try,” he winks, reaching into the built-in wardrobe. He pulls out the last thing I’m expecting.

A beaten up acoustic guitar.

“Doctor, fighter, musician. Do you have any more tricks hidden up your sleeve?” I grin.

“
I can cook too,” he nods, completely serious.

“
And you’re modest,” I retort sardonically.

“
Very,” he replies with a slight smirk.

I smile back and curl up on my side, pulling the duvet around me
and scooting backwards so there’s room for him to perch next to me.

He accepts the invitation and crosses his legs beneath him, resting the guitar on his lap.

“Any requests?” He grins, his bright blue eyes sparkling in the faint moonlight.

“
What can you play?” I reply, stifling a yawn.

He shrugs.
“Try me.”

I rack my brains but music isn’t my forte and nothing comes to mind immediately.

“You can’t think of a single song?” He chuckles.

I shake my head, slightly
embarrassed. “Surprise me.”

“
Alright,” he nods, beginning to gently finger the strings with nimble fingers.

The notes are harmonic and gentle sounding but the expression on his face doesn’t match. His eyes are closed but his eyebrows are pulled together in what almost looks like a pained expression as he begins to sing. Slow and low.

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies

Pushing all the mercy down, down, down

I wanna see you try to take a swing at me

Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground

His voice is beautiful, like caramel as it glides from his tongue but with a deep rumble reminiscent of an electric bass. I barely blink as I watch him lose himself in the music temporarily.

All of my hate cannot be found

I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming

So you can try to tear me down

Beat me to the ground

I will see you screaming

He stops singing as the song comes to an end but his fingers never stop moving, continuing their melody.

The song wasn’t one I recognised but it tells of hurt and suffering
. I’m not sure if he sang it for me but it made me feel weak and I’m not sure I like it.

“
What was that?” I ask quietly.

“
Version of a song from my teenage years,” he grins but it’s not quite genuine. His shields are partway up and I don’t like it. “You didn’t like it?”

“
I liked hearing you sing,” I reply.

“
Lawyer,” he chuckles. “Dodging the question like a pro.”

I have to smile because that’s exactly what I was doing.

“How did your workout go?” I ask because I’m dodging that one too.

He raises an eyebrow
like he knows exactly what I’m doing so I just smile sweetly and wait for my answer.

“
Tough,” he shrugs eventually, looking down at his guitar so I can’t see his face.

“
Loquacious, aren’t you?” I tease.

“
Sesquipedalian, aren’t you?” He retorts with a slight smirk.

I cock my head at him expectantly because I have no idea what that means.

He just laughs and his smirk broadens. “Somebody who likes to use big words.”

“
Oh,” I frown, blushing slightly. “Surely, if that were true, I would have known what sesquipedalian was.”

“
That’s called irony.”

I ignore him and return to the original question.
“Your workout, Dr Carter.”

He chuckles.
“My brother kicked my ass.”

“
Are you okay?” My eyes widen slightly.

“
Not like that,” he grins. “Just mean he didn’t cut me any slack because I was late.”

“
Sounds harsh,” I frown.

“
You worried about me, lady?” He grins.

I nod, nibbling on my lip.

“Don’t need to be. It’s just training. He never cuts me any slack anyway. He’s all business all the time,” he shrugs.

“
Are you close?” I ask curiously.

He shrugs.
“In some regards.”

“
Who do you get on with best?”

“
It depends,” he grins.

“
On?”

“
The situation.”

“
Can you answer me with more than three words, please?”

He just grins.
“No.”

I pout.

“I get on best with my little sister, I guess,” he relents. “But mostly because she never argues with me.”

“
That might change soon though,” he continues after a few minutes of focussing on the gentle notes from the strings of his instrument.

“
How so?”

“
She started seeing a guy,” he frowns.

“
You don’t like him?”

“
I like him just fine,” Craig shrugs. “But I don’t like him touching my sister.”

“
Didn’t you say she was eighteen?” I ask in confusion.

He nods.
“She’s my little sister.”

That’s not really an answer.
“So you’re protective of her?”

“
We all are,” he shrugs. “But this guy, Jason, might be alright. He’s done right by her so far. I’m withholding judgment.”

“
What do your other brothers think?” I ask, curious to understand his family. I’ve already established that they are immensely important to him. I want to know more.

“
They were going to chop him up and destroy the evidence,” he chuckles humourlessly.

I look at him, waiting for more explanation and he
laughs at the expression on my face.

“
But he proved himself so we let him off.”

“
What did he do?”

He grimaces and for a second, it looks like he wants to smash his guitar.
“Somebody tried to rape her.”

I feel the blood drain from my face.
“That’s awful.”

He nods grimly.
“Fucker was friends with my kid brother too.”

I can hear the
intense sense of betrayal in his voice and his anger fills the air around him. I can hardly blame him. Being raped is not something you ever forget and you never forgive.

“
I’m so sorry.”

He nods.
“Jason was there for her. He’s helping her learn to feel safe again.”

“
Sounds like he’s a good boyfriend,” I smile.

He shrugs.
“Remains to be seen if he’s good enough.”

“
Let me guess,” I grin. “Nobody is good enough for your baby sister?”

“
Nope,” he agrees with a determined shake of his head. “She’s perfect. You met her, you’d agree.”

“
I’d like to,” I smile. It’s obvious he cares about her a great deal. “Is she okay now?”

“
She’s getting there,” he nods. “I’ll be seeing her soon for my little brother’s twenty-first birthday.”

I smile and snuggle closer into the duvet, closing my eyes and listening to the dulcet tones of his music and the low rumble of his voice as he hums along to the tune.

“Sleepy, lady?” He whispers as he switches to a new tune.

I nod and stifle a yawn.
“But I don’t want to go back to sleep.” In case the nightmares return. It goes unspoken but I know he understands.

He reaches under the duvet and gently squeezes my ankle, silently letting me know he’s there.

“I hate him,” I whisper.

“
Know that, lady,” Craig sighs, putting the guitar down against the wall.

He lies down on the bed next to me without getting under the covers and pulls me close.

“It’s okay to hate him for what he did to you, Bella. It’s okay to be scared too but soon enough you’ll realise you don’t need to be scared any more. I won’t let him hurt you again. You deserve so much better.”

I disentangle my arms from the blanket and wrap them around him as best I can with my cast.

“I think you might be my guardian angel,” I mumble into his solid chest.

“
I’m no angel, lady,” he chuckles bitterly. “But I’ll be your guardian.”

“
Why?” I ask because I need to understand. He must see more than a few cases of domestic abuse in his line of work. He may be a good person but I doubt he takes them all into his home.

“
Why not,” he shrugs.

“
Who is dodging the question now?” I prompt.

“
Honestly?” He sighs.

I nod eagerly but keep my head tucked into his chest so I can’t see the expression on his face and he can’t see mine. For some reason, I don’t want him to know how much his answer means to me. I’m not sure I fully understand it myself.