A Penny’s Worth Of Affection: A Novel (22 page)

"Phillip," she moaned into his mouth when his hands lightly caressed her breast. "Phillip...I..."

The sound of his name on her lips broke any barriers Phillip had. With a groan, he searched for the tiny row of buttons at the back of her gown, making quick work of the fastenings, then tugged her chemise and shift down, allowing her breasts to spill free. She gasped when he closed his mouth over one peaked nipple and sucked.

"Oh god!" Penny moaned, throwing her head back at the sweet sensation of his suckling, feeling his hands reach for her skirts and petticoats, gathering the bundle and lifting till her thighs were exposed. Then stiffened when his fingers stroked the inside of her thighs, moving higher even as his mouth moved from one nipple to the other. This was madness...but she knew she never wanted it to end...she wanted more.

Somewhere at the back of his mind, Phillip was aware he was going much too fast. This was her first time and it would be wrong to take her virtue in such a manner...he needed to stop...but then she moved beneath his exploring fingers and suddenly, he was at the very core of her. "Ah hell...Penny...we need to stop..." Even as he spoke, his fingers stroked her, teasing her, taking her to heights she had never attained until she stiffened and cried out as wave after wave of orgasm swept through her. She screamed his name and clutched onto him as she came, the strange pleasurable feeling lingering even after he withdrew his fingers, and continued to kiss her.

They were jolted back to reality as the carriage pulled to a halt. Penny's eyes flew open in horror. Oh dear god! Any moment, the footman would open the door and find them like this...

"Oh my god!" Penny gasped and slid off him, struggling frantically to restore herself to some appearance of modicum of respectability. She avoided looking at Phillip, not sure of what she would find now that she had acted like a trollop.

To her surprise, Phillip rapped on the roof of the carriage and leaned out to speak to the driver. A moment later, the carriage set off again, he settled back in his seat.

"It's all right." He said quietly, helping her fasten the buttons on her gown. "The driver will circle the street for a while. That will give you enough time to get dressed."

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak as she arranged her hair, and did her best to smooth out the wrinkles on her gown. She could feel Phillip's eyes on her but she would not look at him, all to aware of what they had been doing only a minute ago.

"Look at me Penny." Phillip said quietly, once she was dressed. "I want to..."

"Please don't..." she cut in, wishing she were any where except in the carriage with him at that very moment. She would die of shame if he apologized, so she did not wish to hear him. "I am dressed and would like to go home."

He sighed in resignation and rapped on the roof once again. "Very well, we will discuss this at another time."

She nodded, and they both fell silent until the vehicle pulled to a halt. Penny let him assist her inside the house then bade him a curt farewell, allowing the maids to lead her up the stairs to her room.

Alone at last, she collapsed on the bed and sobbed herself to sleep.

He was a fool. An utter and complete fool for taking advantage of her innocent desire the way he had last night. Phillip thought savagely as he dug his heels into his horse's flanks, urging the steed to go even faster up the winding hillside. One would think a man his age and level of experience with the opposite sex would have developed a measure of finesse when it came to handling a woman he wanted. But like an imbecile, he'd botched the whole thing by kissing her and frightening her off.

He still wasn't altogether certain why he had so completely abandoned his normal restraint. But something inside him had snapped when Penny had leveled those enchanting green eyes at him or perhaps it was the way her breasts had heaved with the exertion of struggling in his arms. Whatever it was, his reason had deserted him and he'd finally allowed himself to admit he wanted Penelope Inglewood more than he had ever desired any woman. He'd confessed his desire hoping to frighten her in silence, but instead, she had calmly turned the tables on him.

He'd been a fool, no doubt about it. He should never have compromised her, not when she was convinced he only sought to make her miserable. Heaven only knew what she was thinking right this moment. No doubt condemning him to the depths of hell. He should have apologized immediately, he thought with a grimace, but had allowed himself to be cut off by her plea.

The horse reached the hill top and Phillip pulled the steed to a halt and dismounted, absently rubbing the animal's neck as he waited for Henry to catch up. The view of London from here would have been breathtaking to the casual observer, but the duke paid no attention to the scenery, his thoughts entirely filled by a small green eyed woman.

The silence was shattered by the sound of hoof beats and Phillip turned to watch Henry's mount come up the hill at a more sedate pace. "Are you trying to kill your horse?" the latter demanded as soon as he drew astride Phillip. He dismounted and yanked off his riding gloves, scowling at his friend. "You have been like a bear with a sore head all morning. What happened with Penny last night? She refused to speak to anyone and has shut herself in her bed chamber. What did you do?"

Phillip turned away, rubbing at the rough stubble on his jaw. He had spent the entire night in restless thoughts, his mind replaying the scene in the carriage over and over again till he thought he would go mad with need. Even thinking about the little moans and cries she'd uttered when he'd touched her made him hard with desire. It had hit him then, that Penelope Inglewood had hidden passions and god knew he wanted to know just how much passion boiled beneath that calm exterior she always portrayed.

Henry prodded him with a finger and Phillip shook himself back to reality to find Henry glaring at him in anger. "You bastard!" Henry hissed, balling up his fists in preparation to deliver a blow. "Why did she leave with you in the middle of the performance? Have you no thought to propriety for god's sake! I swear to god, if you have despoiled her..."

"Her virtue is very much intact." Phillip cut in, his eyes narrowed at the challenge in his friend's stance. "I simply offered her a ride home because she was in pain."

Henry swore and jabbed a fist in his friend's chest. "I have warned you time and time again, but you have refused to pay any heed. Penelope is not one of those women you choose to frolic with at your whims. She is an honorable woman and you will cease this foolishness at once. You have caused her enough grief, and I say this has to end."

Phillip's nostrils flared at the words but he held his peace and chose instead to stare at the sprawling city below. Finally he raked a hand through his hair and swore under his breath. "What are you saying then?"

"Either you offer for Penny- properly this time-, or you stay away from her. I believe Mr. Lachlan is more than willing to court her and hopefully, ask for her hand. With you in the picture, you ruin whatever chance she has of making a good match."

At the mention of the doctor's name, Phillip felt an inexplicable wave of jealousy sweep over him even as an image of Penny in the Scotsman's arms filled his thoughts. His arms balled into fists at his sides and he growled low in his throat. That insipid man would serve her no purpose, not with that passionate nature of hers, marrying the doctor would end up making her miserable, not happy as Henry assumed. Though he was not so certain Penny would be equally happy if he offered marriage-again. He would only end up hurting her, the way his father had broken his wife's heart until Kate Farnsworth had faded away. He would not do that to Penny.

"Fine then." He spoke with an air of finality, his mind made up. "I will keep my distance. You have my word." He nodded at Henry and gripped the reins of his horse, easily swinging into the saddle. "Give Miss Inglewood my regards."

Henry watched the duke ride off until horse and rider disappeared downhill, his eyes troubled.

A knock on the door roused Penny from her thoughts. She pushed back the covers and sat up, squinting in the dim light that filtered through the drawn curtains. "Come in" she called out, wincing as her head began it's monstrous throbbing once more, and fumbled for the bottle of laudanum on the nightstand.

The door opened and Lady Hensley peeked in, her expression concerned when she saw how dim the room was. "Are you feeling better my dear?"

Penny smiled wanly at her friend, grateful for the distraction even though her mind still reeled from last week's encounter with Phillip. Once more she silently questioned how she had allowed herself to let go of sanity...he had touched her...there..in her most secret spot and she had let him, had even panted and moaned like a wanton woman in the throes of passion, delighted in his expert touch. She cringed as wondered how many other women he had seduced, no doubt she was simply one more foolish maiden who had been drawn like a moth to flame. What a fool she had been to hope his words had been true, that those passionate words carried a hint of real affection and not pure, unadulterated lust.

A week had passed in nervous anticipation of his visit. Each time the doorbell had rung or the butler had announced a visitor, her heart had at first leaped with hope, only to be dashed each time in disappointment. How little that night must have meant to him if he had not even
bothered to call on her...if only to inquire about her ankle. Even more hurtful was the realization that she had fallen hopelessly in love with him.

Penny shuddered and pushed the thought from her mind, and focused her attention back to Bridget. "I am much better, thank you. The laudanum was quite effective in relieving the headache."

The older woman perched on the edge of her bed and studied the wan girl lying there, noting the varying expressions that crossed Penny's face, particularly the pain. Bridget smiled and gently took the girl's hands in her own, giving them a reassuring squeeze. She was quite certain Penny's ailment stemmed directly from a certain duke, and if her assumptions were correct, something must have happened to make the younger girl so ill at ease with her own conscience. Women like Penny did not pine away in bed unless they were in the throes of love.

"You will be in all right soon then." Bridget said, "The body is quite marvelous at repairing itself. The heart however, is quite another matter." The countess smiled at the guilty flush that suffused Penny's cheeks as the meaning of her words sank in. "Sometimes it is best to give in and accept what may seem to be the wrong choice my dear, do not try to deny your heart what it needs, what it craves for to deny it will only bring misery."

Penny felt her face heat up in mortification. Had Lady Hensley somehow guessed what had transpired between her and Phillip? Certainly there would be speculation, as her family wondered why she had left the theater with Phillip, and what had happened to them on the way home. She lowered her gaze to the royal blue quilt, pretending an interest in the interwoven patterns while she mauled over the countess's words. What did her heart need? She wondered, fingers kneading the material absently, she was well aware of what her traitorous body needed...but what did her heart desire?

"Lord Farnsworth is a good man, and despite what he seems to be, I have known that boy since he was in short breeches and would rump about with my Henry. Such a sweet boy, so well-mannered and cheerful. Then his mother passed away...my dearest friend Kate...and his father was a cold, hard man. Hardly surprising when the lad turned out the way he did. But I strongly believe Phillip is not as cold as his father. He can learn to love with the right guidance."

"I hardly think I..."

"I have watched the both of you together you know." Bridget cut in. "You may deny it all you wish, but I know you care for him and he for you. You are just equally stubborn to admit it."

Penny pondered the words, wondering if the countess was right. Yes, she loved Phillip a lot more than she allowed herself to believe, but dear lord in heaven, the man was impossible to love and he would make any woman miserable with that obnoxious manner just like he made her miserable. Besides, in his confession last night, he had merely said he wanted her, desired her body, wished to lie with her. He had not mentioned being in love with her in the least. To Phillip, she was most likely just another means of entertainment

"Forgive me Bridget," She said with a tired sigh, "But Phillip is the last man on earth likely to fall in love. Much less with me."

The countess shot her a knowing smile and rose. "Like I said, you are both stubborn." she bent to place a kiss on the top of Penny's head. "Now, there will be no more hiding away in this dreary room. I will have Mary up with some hot water and to help you get dressed and we will spend a lovely afternoon at Madame Montrose getting the last of Lucy's trousseau and perhaps we will get you some new gowns. Nothing like a day of shopping to brighten one's spirits." She moved to pull open the heavy drapes, admitting sunlight in the dim room.

Penny winced as the light seared her eyes, then sighed and pulled herself out of bed. The countess was right, it was no use hiding away in her room, she would go out, throw herself into the final preparations for Lucy's wedding in five days and forget about Lord Phillip Farnsworth.

Penny watched the newlyweds twirl about the ballroom floor, with a wistful smile at the look of bliss clearly written on their faces. Her sister was finally a married woman, married to the man she was deeply in love with. The look of happiness on Lucy's face filled Penny with joy and she earnestly prayed the couple would always remain in love.

Her eyes developed a mind of their own and strayed where she did not want. Phillip stood at the edge of the dancing space, deep in conversation with Miss Talbot, a pale willowy blonde who appeared to be hanging onto his every word, practically leaning into him, the low cut top of her exquisite gown revealing an impressive bosom that appeared at odds with the rest of her body. Penny's heart pricked painfully as she watched the lazy way Phillip flirted with the debutante who had been proclaimed the belle of the season.

So Phillip had tired of her and moved onto the next conquest? He had barely acknowledged her earlier at the church, merely giving her a cool nod when their eyes met before dismissing her. The service had been an agony and now she was forced to endure the sight of the man she loved flirt with someone else. Penny forced her eyes away from the laughing duo and rose from the seat, plastering a reassuring smile on her face when the dowager countess shot her a worried look.

Penny gathered the hem of her skirt to avoid the damp earth of the garden, thankfully deserted as the evening air was too cold to permit any outside walks. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she had a shawl to ease the biting cold, allowing her skirts to brush unheeded against the dirt. The solitude eased her heartache somewhat and she immersed herself in observing the frozen flowers, until a rustle drew her attention.

"I wondered where you had got to." Alasdair smiled, as he came to stand beside her, shrugging out of his jacket to drape it over her shoulders.

"Thank you." Penny said, grateful for the warmth of the jacket. "I needed to get some fresh air, it is quite stifling in there."

"Indeed. Lovely wedding though." Alasdair studied the flowers intently for a moment, then sighed and turned to face her. "May I ask a somewhat personal question Miss Inglewood?"

Penny nodded, giving him a curious look. "Of course. Please ask me anything."

"Please know that if you do not wish to provide an answer, I understand completely."

She laid a hand on his arm. "Please. Ask?"

He hesitated for a moment as though debating whether to ask, then squared his shoulders in decision. "Forgive my forwardness but, I have been wondering about this..." He sighed and ran a hand through his red hair. "Lord Farnsworth, is he courting you or perhaps you are in love?"

"Oh!" Penny said, at a loss for words. She could hardly fault him for asking given the strange circumstances surrounding her relationship with Phillip. She thought for a moment, mulling her answer over in her mind. Phillip was most certainly not courting her, but could she deny her feelings for him? She shut her eyes and instantly, an image of him flirting shamelessly with Laura Talbot swam before her. She opened her eyes with a small gasp and shook her head. "No, he is not courting me and I am not in love with him."

A look of relief swept over Alasdair's face and he smiled brightly, reaching for her hand to place a kiss upon it. "I am most glad to hear that Miss Inglewood, very happy indeed."