A Saint for Life (5 page)

{8}

Christian

I leaned against the passenger's side door, watching her walk with grace as she headed toward me. I knew by now that I was smiling like an idiot.

“You look beautiful.” I watched a small smile appear on her face as she approached.

“Thank you.” She looked at me with an innocence in her eyes that drove me wild.

“Sorry I’m late.” I held the door open for her she slowly got in the car. “I wanted to make sure the car was warm enough since it’s gotten colder out. I hope I didn’t worry you.”

“That’s okay. You didn’t at all.”

“Are you warm enough? I can turn the heat up more.”

“No, this is perfect.”

You’re right. This is perfect, I thought to myself as I looked over, noticing how beautiful she looked even in the darkness.

*

The table I had reserved for us was placed toward the back in a corner, which ensured us a little more privacy. Three candles were lit in the center, and the lights were dim, making the setting a bit more romantic. Staring at the menu, I didn't know what to say to her. Maybe this was a little bit too much pressure for a first date. Maybe I should have taken her for ice cream instead.

I picked up my menu and pretended to read over it. I couldn’t think of a way to start a conversation. My eyes peered over the top of the menu. She had her menu placed out in front of her, and she moved around in her seat.

I cleared my throat and reached to take a sip of water. We made eye contact this time. I continued to drink until I thought of something to say that could end the awkward silence. I placed my half empty glass down on the table.

“So what do you do at the basketball games?”

“I just do promotions stuff. You know, throwing t-shirts, getting chants going, all that good stuff.” Her eyes dropped down to the menu again.

“Oh, that's cool. What were you doing at the last game when you were sitting at the scorer’s table?”

“I had to administer the social media pages. You played really incredible that game!”

“Thank you. I'm surprised I was able to play that well, but I haven't had a bad game yet. It’s really starting to hit me that the season's almost over, though.”

“Yeah, I bet that can’t be easy for you.” She looked around the restaurant and back down at her menu again. Avoiding eye contact with me seemed to be a skill of hers. I could sense her frustration. I don’t think she wanted to talk about basketball.

“So are you from around here?”

“Yeah, I've lived here my entire life. I didn't really have a choice but to go to college around here. Not that Siena isn’t great, but I would have liked to have some options.”

“Oh. Why's that?”

“Family stuff. So what are you going to get?” The tone in her voice quickly changed, and she seemed sad, leaving me with the impression that I shouldn’t bring it up again. At least not tonight. Luckily the waitress came over and interrupted us.

Looking up, I made eye contact with her, and her hands started to shake when she grabbed her pen from her pocket. I speculated it was because she knew who I was. She had a familiar face, but I don't think that I know her.

Wait. Shit. I know exactly who she is, I thought to myself, trying to keep my head down and avoid eye contact.

“Hello, my name is Katha, and I'll be your waitress for tonight. Can I get you something to drink?” she said. I could tell that she wasn’t even looking at me since her voice projected more toward Zoe.

“I'll just have a water with a lemon.”

“And for you, Chris?” She said in an underlying bitchy tone.

“I'll do the same.” Even though I wanted to get a beer, I wasn’t sure how Zoe would feel about that. As it was, having Katha as our waitress tonight completely threw me for a loop. Hopefully this wouldn’t screw up anything.

“You know her?” Zoe questioned when she walked away.

“Sort of. She’s  one of the girls I previously had a thing with.”

Shit, why do I always have to tell the truth? It just comes out without warning. I should really start thinking before I speak.

“Oh, one of the girls?” She didn’t look happy, but she also appeared to be interested. I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or serious.

“Yeah, after Lacey and I broke up I went through this phase.”

“Oh, I see.” She wasn't amused.

“It's over with now though; hence I'm out with you.”

Hopefully she doesn't take that the wrong way. I immediately regretted saying that.

“Well, I would hope so. Did you go out with her too?” She asked nodding her head over toward another waitress who was eyeing me.

“No, no. I promise I’m not like that.”

There was an awkward silence. I no longer knew what to say. Anything I was saying wasn’t helping me at all.

“If you don't mind me asking, why me?” Zoe broke the silence.

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you ask me out tonight?”

“I want to get to know you.” I wasn’t expecting her to ask such a question. It caught me off guard.

“You do?”

“Yeah. You seem surprised?”

“I am. Guys like you don't usually ask me out.”

“Guys like me?” What is that supposed to mean?

“Yeah, you know, the popular and attractive jocks that everyone wants to date.”

“So you think I’m attractive?” I smiled confidently and my nerves disappeared a little.

“You know what I mean. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” Zoe blushed.

Katha was headed back over toward us. I didn't even know what to order for dinner. I've hardly looked at the menu, and it was quite extensive. Plus, right across from me at the table was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.

The green dress she wore brought out the emerald in her eyes. Much of her flawless skin was revealed when she pulled her dark brown hair over her right shoulder. From where I was sitting, I could see she had a tattoo on the side of her neck going down the back of her shoulder. Diamond earrings in her ears, she had a total of five piercings, one of which included a bar through the top of her ear, giving her a more edgy look.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

*

The car ride back to Siena was silent. Arriving on campus, I drove her to her car. I stared out the front windshield trying to think of how I could prolong the night. All I wanted to do was know more about her.

“I hope you had a great time. If it's okay, I'd like to take you out again soon?” I asked her nervously while fiddling with the keys in my hand. I could hardly look her in the eye while speaking. The words slowly found their way out of my mouth.

“Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect out of tonight. It was the first date I’ve been on in a while.”

“Same for me.”

“What? I don’t believe that. I mean, you with all your girls—you don’t need to lie to make me feel better,” she replied sarcastically.

“I’m not lying. I’m dead serious. Lacey and I didn’t even go out on dates.”

“Seriously? Why not?”

“I guess it didn’t seem like much of a relationship to me. I just did whatever she said and did my own thing when I wasn’t with her. Great boyfriend, I know.”

“I don’t know what you want out of this.” Quickly the conversation became more serious.

“Honestly, I don’t either. All I know is I want to see you again and I want to learn everything there is to know about you, Zoe.” The truth came out of my mouth before I could stop it.

“Why? And again, why me? You could have any girl in this school if you wanted to.”

“But I asked you out, not any of the other girls. I asked you. Ever since you ran into me—”

“You mean you ran into me,” Zoe replied fiercely. She wasn’t making this easy.

“But right then, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how I’ve never seen you before.”

Zoe took what seemed to be a long minute before responding.

“I’m extremely busy, and I have a lot going on. I have to go. So thanks for dinner. Goodnight.”

She unbuckled her seatbelt, got out of the car, and shut the door without even looking back. I don't know what it was that I said to make her mad.

What was I doing wrong?

I sat here questioning myself more than I ever have before. Putting my keys back into the ignition, I turned the car on and headed back toward my townhouse.

The rain poured down heavily on my windshield, obstructing my vision. Driving around aimlessly, I continued to fail miserably at finding a parking spot close to my building. Bad luck seemed to be following me around tonight, especially on my date with Zoe—the date I just completely blew for myself.

{9}

Zoe

Livid was a better word than disappointed to describe how I felt about last night. How could I be disappointed if I wasn't expecting anything? But was I really not expecting anything, or was I just trying to convince myself that I wasn’t? I was more mad at the fact I was putting myself through this, though. Christian was exactly who I thought he was, the person I didn’t want him to be. Right from the beginning I had a feeling it wouldn't go well. I tried not to think about it all day, but I couldn’t stop.

I will admit that at the start of the night I convinced myself that maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He shocked me by opening the car door for me, followed by pulling the seat out at the restaurant. Acting like a gentleman, he looked like one too. Dressed in a shirt and tie, it was one of the first times I've ever seen him dressed nice since he was always wearing basketball apparel.

Lost in thought, I almost missed Emily's phone call. She was probably checking in on me to make sure I wasn't ditching the game today. The game. I really didn’t want to go and face him after I made my exit from his car.

As soon as I picked up, she didn’t even give me the chance to have the first word.

“Oh, good! You’re alive. I was wondering since I have yet to hear from you about your date last night!” She spoke energetically.

“Well, I’m pretty sure that was the first and last time we will go out.”

“Why? Please don’t tell me you did anything stupid or ruined it because you weren’t open to it. You know what? Just tell me later. Want to grab a drink before the game?”

“That sounds good. What time should we meet?”

“Well, we have to be there by five. The game’s at six today. I was thinking maybe 3?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

Having a drink before the game may calm me down before walking into the arena. I wasn’t prepared to see Christian. I didn’t want to get to know him anymore. Last night probably could have gone better if I had been more positive about it. A part of me really wanted this, but I knew that it wasn’t realistic. What would be the point?

*

“Okay, fine. I won’t tell you anymore.” I sat there angrily staring at Emily.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Go on,” Emily apologized. As much as she wanted me to have a boyfriend, she also loved to mock my love life.

“All he did was talk about himself. Once basketball was brought up, forget it. Want to know what pissed me off the most? He brought up how he's never seen me before. We had a class together for an entire semester! The class only had twenty kids in it. I’ve passed him so many times on campus before. So how hasn't he seen me? How didn’t recognize me?”

“Oh my God, I would be pissed too. Did he really say that?” Emily put her glass down.

“Yes! He really he did.”

“Well, I think you should give the guy another chance. You might be overreacting just a tad. I don't remember half of the people I've had classes with. Has he texted you yet today?” I could tell she was trying to rationalize with me since I was clearly just making up excuses.

“Another chance? Why? So I will get hurt? I don't think he's my type. But to answer your question, yeah, he did. But I didn't respond, and I don't plan on it.” I sulked in my seat and drowned my throat with a huge gulp of beer.

“Zoe, Zoe, Zoe.” Emily stared at me.

“What?” I put my glass down and stared back.

“You don't know if he's good for you yet. You haven’t really given him a chance. I think you should go for it. I think this will be a good thing. You need a guy in your life.”

“No.”

Emily looked did a quick turn around in her seat. “But it’s been years since you’ve had sex.”

“What the hell? Say it loud enough so the whole bar can hear it.”

“What? It's true! You haven't since freshman year, and that was, like, drunk sex.”

“I haven't wanted to. I don't want a guy in my life, and I certainly don’t need sex to be happy.”

“Well, it doesn't hurt to just have casual sex every once in a while,” Emily suggested.

“I really don't think that this is going to work out. I have the entire universe voting against me. I don’t know. I really don’t. What about Gabe?”

“Gabe will be fine! You know how he looks up to him. Just imagine how happy he will be when you tell him! Imagine his reaction when he meets him.”

“Which is exactly why I can't if it doesn't work out.”

“You don't know it won't yet. Can I see the text he sent you?”

“Why?”

“Just let me see it,” Emily demanded.

I opened up the text and looked at it once more before handing it to her.

“Okay. Done.” She responded shortly after looking at my phone. I was a little bit tipsy, and I didn’t think before I handed it to her.

“What’s done? What! No, you didn't!” I shrieked louder than expected. She slid my phone across the table, and I read the words on the screen. She’d replied to Christian's text for me.

“Why did you do that?”

“You needed a little push. Trust me; this is going to work. You need to at least try.”

The bartender came over to see if we needed a refill. I wanted one, but I had to go to the game sober enough to work.

Staring at the screen, I continued to read what Emily had typed out. The simple message of “Good luck at your game today” freaked me out. The bubble at the bottom left corner popped up. He was responding.

“He's typing back already!”

“See! I told you to listen to me! Look how excited you just got!”

I flipped my phone over onto its front side, and the two of us stared at it without blinking.

“Just read it. If you won’t, I will.” Emily went to reach for my phone, but I snatched it quickly.

“Thanks! Wanna go out after the game?” It took me a few moments to continue reading all of the words to her.

“Yay! You have to say yes!” Emily yelled.

“You really think so? Even though the first date went horrible?”

“How much worse could it really get? Just give him another chance.”

“Yeah, I could do that.” I read my text to Emily as I typed back.

“See? How hard was that?”

“‘Great. I have a surprise for you.’” I looked up at Emily, and we both stared at one another, then I looked back down at the text again.

What could the surprise be? How could he already have a surprise for me?

“How am I going to explain this to Gabe?” I panicked.

“Oh. you'll think of something! Just tell him you have to work on school stuff in the library after the game.”

“I hate lying to him. I feel like I never have time to hang out with him anymore. He’s going to start to wonder if I keep ditching him. You know how smart he is.”

“Well,” Emily said while looking at her phone, “we have one hour until game time. How much more excited are you now for what this night is going to bring?”

“I'm not. I’m not excited at all.” The truth was that I was probably glowing with excitement, and she could see it all over my face.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this could be a good thing. Maybe I’d just need to open myself up to these opportunities. But maybe I’d be right and this wouldn’t work out. I was so torn between what to do and how I should act. My heart was telling me to go for it, but my head was saying it wouldn’t be a good idea. Right now I wondered what my parents would say if I asked them for their advice. In times like these I missed them more than usual, and I envied my friends who took advantage of having their parents around.

What do I do? How do I know what to do?