A Saint for Life (4 page)

{6}

Christian

I reached for my phone to check the time—6:45 a.m. Even on my days off, I couldn't seem to sleep in. My body was programmed to wake up before the sun rose. Lying in bed I could try and force myself to fall back to sleep, but I knew by now that I wouldn't have any luck. My mind was in a fog. These days I couldn't seem to find clarity.

I went for a light jog once I was able to get out of bed. I thought it might help clear my mind, but I couldn't even make it halfway across campus without having to stop and catch my breath. The air was so cold that it was tough to breathe. I could barely feel my fingers inside my insulated gloves. By the time I made it to the dining hall, my eyelashes appeared to be frozen like icicles, and it hurt to bend my fingers. Walking inside, I grabbed a hot cup of coffee and nearly burned my frozen lips while taking a sip.

After my hands finally were relieved of the numbness, I had to force myself to enter back outside into the cold. The run back seemed much farther than it actually was. I couldn't wait to jump into a hot shower. I glided across campus, quickly testing my speed against the cold wind. I ran into my house and straight to the bathroom and stripped my body of my clothes.

Standing underneath the scorching hot water, I prolonged reaching for the shampoo. The burning sensation against my frozen skin felt more desirable than it should.

“Hey, Chris! Who’s Zoe?” Matthew shouted from the room beside me. My phone must have gone off or—because he can’t mind his own business—he had to check it. It didn't surprise me, which is why I changed my passcode again last night. He was one of those people who had to know everything.

I turned off the water and quickly jumped out of the shower. While running out the door to grab my phone, I almost forgot to wrap a towel around myself. My body slammed against my bedroom door when I tried to push it open.

“Tell me who she is and I'll let you in.”

“She's a girl in a class I'm working on a project with—jeez, open the door. I'm getting water all over the hallway.”

“I call bullshit. If she was, you would have yelled that from the shower.”

I paused. By now I should have known he was going to do this. I never learned my lesson.

“So? I'm waiting.”

“If you let me in, I'll tell you.”

I waited. He still refused to open the door. At twenty-one years old, he still acted like a child.

“Okay, you win. I ran into her the other day and spilled her coffee. Then I saw her at the basketball game and asked her friend for her number,” I replied, sighing.

“You what?” He opened the door, handing me the phone with an expression of surprise on his face.

“Yeah. It's not a big deal, okay?” I grabbed my phone and headed toward my bed.

“Not a big deal? You never ask some random girl for someone else's number.”

“So?” I was nervous to see what she had said. I probably shouldn't have flat out asked her on a date, but once I had already hit send, it was too late to take it back. I wasn't thinking clearly. Confused as to why I have never noticed her before, I acted before I thought. I didn't want to miss another chance. Something about this girl made me worry.

“She hot?” Matthew sat on his desk still anxiously waiting for more details.

“No. She's beautiful.”

“When will I get to meet her? This sounds serious.”

Matthew's words went in one ear and out the other. I could hear him talking faintly. My thoughts echoed loudly in my head. Looking at the wall, my mind drifted and I pictured her sitting in front of me at the game. I fantasized what it would be like to spend time with her. I wondered what would have happened if I had just left the locker room when I had the chance. Would I have caught her before she left? Would I have asked her out then or just asked for her number? I was captivated by her beauty. Something then hit me in the back of the head.

“Hello. Earth to Chris. Are you going to be bringing her back to the room anytime soon? I want to see this chick.”

“No, probably not for a while.” Which was true. That wasn't my intention with Zoe. She appeared to be different. I wanted to get to know her on the inside. For some reason, when I thought of Zoe, I had a burning desire for something more, something real.

“Oh, so you're going to avoid introducing us, and you’re going to go to her place, huh?”

“No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I asked her to go to dinner with me. I want to take her out on an actual date.”

“Shut up. Seriously? You're ready to date again?”

“Well, no—I mean, I can be. I wasn't planning for this to happen, but I can't stop thinking about her, and I want to get to know her. I'm not saying it'll be anything serious. I don’t know if I want a girlfriend, and I don't even really know her. I'm just going with my gut on this one, and my gut is telling me she's different in a good way. My gut tells me I need to get to know her and that something on the more serious side is maybe what I need.”

Matthew stared at me with a blank look on his face. “What more could you possibly need? How would a girl change that?”

“I can’t really explain.” I couldn’t seem to put my thoughts into words.

“Well, we’re young and in school. We should have fun.”

“You can still have fun. All I’m saying is, personally, this is maybe what I need.”

“You could have anything or any girl you want in this school. I don’t think you should be trying so hard for this one girl. You’ve never had to take a girl on a date before to get her to like you. Why change your ways now?”

I left the room. Matt and I were at very different places in our lives, and he didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. I’m not even sure I am understanding what I am feeling or why this one girl is making me want to be a better man, but she is.

I threw on a pair of sweats over my boxers and sat in my bed. I stared down at my phone, afraid to see what Zoe had said.

What if she says no?

This was nerve wracking. I'm twenty-two years old, and I've never asked a girl out on a date before. Here I am a senior in college, a guy who always has girls fawning all over him, and I've never asked a girl out. Matt’s words haunted me too. What if I come across as a douchebag to her? What if I’m not good enough?

What if she says yes?

I didn't have a plan. I would need to find somewhere nice to take her. Around here there were only a few options. It was nothing like the city. I would want the night to be perfect.

Should I get her flowers? Should I pick her up? I thought to myself, making a mental note of everything I should be prepared for. I’ve never needed to impress a girl before. This was new for me. I couldn’t screw it up.

Opening the text, I stared at the screen and locked my phone. I stared at the black screen and saw the reflection of what appeared to be a smile on my face.

“‘I would love to,’” I whispered her response to myself quietly
.

{7}

Zoe

“Hi, honey. How was class today?” Janice picked up the phone on the first ring.

“Oh, it was okay. I’m actually calling to see if you would be able to stay later tonight. I have this…thing.”

“Sure, don’t worry about it. What time should I tell Gabe you will be home?”

I looked around at my surroundings and on the path ahead to see if anyone was around. I was headed toward the library to get some homework done. All I needed was for someone to overhear my conversation and spread it around campus.

“Here’s the thing. I actually don’t know. I’m, um, sort of going on a date tonight. Can you do me a favor and keep this between us? I don’t want Gabe to know.”

“A date?” Janice exclaimed loudly. I pulled the phone away from my ear.

“Shh. I don’t want Gabe to hear you!”

“He won’t. He’s taking a nap right now. Oh honey, I’m so happy for you!” I could hear it in her voice that she was smiling on the other end of the line. She always wanted the best for me and has wanted me to date for a while now.

“Yeah, I’m still not sure about it. There’s still time to back out. I don’t know. Maybe I won’t go.”

“Is he nice?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know that much about him.”

“Do you in your heart truly want to go tonight?”

I pondered on her question for a while. Christian Michaels asking me out on a date has been a fantasy of mine that I never thought would become real.

“Yeah, I guess. I just—”

Janice interrupted, “Don’t even think about it. Just go! Have a good time. I can’t wait to hear all about it. I’m sure it will go smoothly. Take your time coming home.”

“Thanks, Janice. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“No need to thank me! Plus, think about how happy your parents would be for you.”

I stopped in the middle of the walkway and took a deep breath.

“You’re right.” I smiled. “They always wanted the best for me.”

“They did, as all parents should for their children. I remember your mom used to tell me about those heels she bought you as a little girl because you wanted to look nice for a date.”

I laughed while looking down at my feet and then realized I had nothing to wear for tonight. All of my sadness of wishing both of my parents were here to hear about my first date slid right out the window. What was I going to wear?

“I did love those! But thanks again, Janice. I should go. I’m about to go into the library.”

“Have a good time! I cannot wait to hear all about it. And remember, all you have to do is be yourself.”

Hanging up the phone, I quickly dialed Emily’s number.

“Emily, I need your help.”

*

After classes, I didn't even go home. Emily said she would help me get ready. She had a knack for fashion and getting ready at her dorm room made it even easier for Gabe to avoid seeing me all dressed up. He would wonder where I was going and start to ask questions. I wouldn't be able to lie to his face.

My nerves were starting to kick in. I didn't know where Christian was taking me; the only detail he gave me was to be ready by seven. I couldn't stop thinking about what tonight might be like. The only dates I ever went on in high school were to the movies, and I’m pretty sure those don't even count. Everything was completely different now. We were older, standards were higher, more was expected, and I had more responsibilities—a lot more than most people my age.

Emily lived in the suites in one of the underclassmen dorms. As a junior, she and her suitemates didn't have a high enough lottery number to get into the townhouses. I've never had the chance to live on campus. There have been a few weekends where I stayed with Emily and tried to pretend I knew what campus life was like. I envied Emily for that. It wasn't an option for me. It never was.

When I arrived at her room, the door was propped open. Knocking slightly, I could hear her yell for me to come in. I walked in and  I took a look around.  Her entire side of the room had outfits laid out accordingly. The curling iron was on, and make-up was spread out across her desk.

“Are you ready to get beautiful? I mean, you already are, but you know what I mean.” Emily could hardly talk. I could tell she was beaming with excitement. She was more thrilled about this than I was. Like me, she also thought Christian was incredibly gorgeous. Neither of us ever thought one of us would have the chance.

“I guess so. It's so cold out, though. I don't know what I should wear.” I looked around at some of the options she had laid out.

“You are such a baby when it comes to the cold weather!”

“I can’t help it! I swear I belong in the south.”

“Don’t we all? How do you want your hair? It’s so long. I can do curls. I can put it up? It’s completely up to you.”

“Can I figure out what I’m wearing first? Then I’ll decide on my hair.”

“Sure. I have a few things out, and, um, please don’t kill me.” She paused.

“A few things? It looks like you could fill an entire closet with all of these clothes! But, um, what did you do?”

“I may have sort of told my roommate about your date. But before you say anything, I really liked this one outfit of hers, and I knew she wouldn't let me borrow it unless I told her what it was for.” Emily was talking a mile a minute to get all the words out before I could interrupt her.

I had a feeling this might happen because if Emily gets really excited about something, she had to tell everyone about it. It wasn't even on purpose; she just couldn't help it.

“What outfit?” I said back with a slight attitude, and I placed my hands on my hips.

Walking toward the far corner of the room, Emily stood with her back to me and picked up a dress from her bed. Turning around she held it up to the light.

“Tell me this isn't perfect.” She grinned and watched for me to make a reaction.

She was right. The dress was perfect. It was three-quarter sleeved, which would prevent me from getting too cold. The top layer was lace patterned with a solid green underneath, which made it classy but also casual.

“It would go great with your green eyes, and I have black tights and tall boots that would match perfectly!” Her eyes were lit up with excitement. Grabbing it from her hands, I placed it down on the bed beside me and started to undress. Slipping it on, I stared at myself in the full body mirror. Emily sat there biting her lip, impatiently waiting to hear what I thought of the dress.

“I think this might be it. I love it!”

“Knew you would!” She jumped off of the bed and ran over to the bathroom. “Now the next question. What are we doing with your hair? Have you thought about it yet?” She asked.

“Um, down? Maybe long curls? What do you think?”

“Knew you would say that! I was thinking the same thing when I saw this dress. I already have my curling iron and wand turned on. You have to be ready by six forty-five-ish, right?”

“Maybe a little earlier so I’m not rushing. He said to be ready by seven.”

“Okay, well, that is manageable. Where do you think he is taking you?”

“No idea, to be honest.” I wondered.

“Maybe he’s taking you to Saratoga or to an expensive restaurant. I mean, he can afford it.”

“That would be nice, but I'm not sure. I'm trying not to think too much about it. I don't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed, you know? I mean, I know this probably won't work out anyway.”

“How do you know that?”

“I mean, think about it, Emily. We won't have anything to talk about. He's from a rich family with a perfect life. Mine's far from perfect, and I'm far from rich.”

“Yeah, but you never know. Maybe you have more in common than you think. You don't know unless you try. Give yourself a little more credit. He’s going to fall in love with you.“

“Let’s slow it down.”

Emily set the curling iron down for a moment. “Listen. I know you are going into this pessimistically, but you have to look at the bright side of things. What if this works out? What if you enjoy yourself? You could have an amazing time, and he could end up being the perfect guy. But you won't know if you go into this thinking negatively. You won't open yourself up to these opportunities because you're going to try and find something that will go wrong. So try to think positively about this.” Everything she was saying was true.

“I know, I know, you’re right. But all I’m saying is that I don’t think it will go well, and I don’t think I can date anyone right now, especially because of Gabe.”

“Zoe, oh Zoe, Gabe knows how much you care about him. Your dad wouldn’t want you to put your life on hold. You do so much for your brother already, and I’m sure if you were to date someone, Gabe would be really happy for you. Maybe this is what you need in your life anyway!”

“And that’s just it, I can’t start dating someone and introduce them to Gabe. He would be so upset if it didn’t work out. Especially since it’s Christian!”

“There you go thinking negative again. Who says it won’t work out? You never know! Maybe he’s the miracle you both need.”

Emily was an overly optimistic person, but I can’t even deny that what she’s saying is true. Because she saw things with a positive eye, she always seemed to know exactly what I needed in my life to brighten up my days. Maybe she was right. Maybe Christian will end up being the light I need.

“I didn’t tell Gabe about my date. I don’t want him knowing anything unless it gets more serious. And that’s a big if! It’s just one date, Emily. Just one. Let’s not make more out of this than what it actually is.”

“And one turns into two, and two into three, and before you know it I’ll be the maid of honor at—”

“Stop!” I laughed. Emily was finishing my hair and nearly burned my back when she dropped the wand.

My hair was almost done. I loved it. Emily should have gone to school for cosmetology. I could never get my hair to look this good when I curled it myself, which was almost never. I never had any time to spend a lot of time on my hair. I looked down at my watch. It was six fifteen. I panicked, thinking that I wouldn’t be ready in time since my make-up still wasn’t done. My phone began to ring.

“Hello?” I answered it quickly before seeing who was even calling.

“Zoe, when will you be home?” It was Gabe. The sound of his voice worried me, and I second-guessed if I should go or not.

“Not until later buddy. Everything okay? How’s your day?”

“Yeah, everything’s great! Janice made me cookies, and we are going to watch a movie tonight.”

“Oh, that’s good! Make sure you thank her before you go to sleep! If you start to not feel well, stop eating the cookies.”

“She told me you’re going somewhere special tonight, so I just wanted to call and tell you to have a great time.” Those words broke my heart. He truly meant it. I wish I could tell him where I was headed. He sounded excited for me even though he had no idea what I was doing. A smile faintly appeared on my face.

“Aw, thanks, bud. I’m sure I will! Don’t give Janice too much trouble, okay?”

“Okay! Goodnight, Zoe. Love you!”

“Love you too, buddy.”

“Are you okay?” Emily asked as she stared at me through the mirror.

“Yeah, it was Gabe.”

“I could tell. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, he just wanted to tell me to have a good time.”

“Aw, see! I told you. Everything is going to be okay! Just relax. Gabe is fine and you are going to have a great night!”

“I sure hope so,” I replied with doubt.

*

Seven o'clock came too quickly. I wasn't ready for this. But where was Christian? It was now ten minutes after, and I was standing here thinking of the endless possibilities of how this could go wrong, starting with being ditched. Hopefully he was just late and not standing me up. Despite my request, Emily stood beside me to wait.

“I don’t think he’s coming.” I sighed.

“He’s just running late. Give it a few more minutes.”

“It’s already been ten! Who is ten minutes late to pick up their date, on their first date?”

“Relax, relax. Oh wait, isn’t that him?” Emily yelled with excitement in her voice.

A black BMW pulled up into the horseshoe in front of the building. Emily and I couldn't see who it was because of the dark tinted windows. It had to be him. What other college student drives a brand new BMW?

The car shut off, and the driver's door opened. Through the darkness I watched a tall and very attractive guy walk around to the passenger's side of the car. Leaning up against the door, the guy reached in his pocket and pulled his phone out. Seconds later my phone went off.