Absolute Surrender (25 page)

Sweet, sweet so sweet,
Amelia thought.

He was gentle and slow, taking his time. This kiss was different from the others in that this kiss was quite controlled. She could feel his
fetters
, like tangible threads anchoring him to the earth, and she sank into the kiss. Amelia let her hands stray across the landscape of his back, for his back was a landscape…so great, it seemed. The unexplored territories, rivers and valleys, mountains and fields. Well, certainly more mountains and valleys than flat spaces on this man.
Certainly
.

“Stop thinking,” he mumbled against her lips.

Stop…thinking? Stop thinking…
She concentrated on stopping her thoughts.
The sky, the sky is empty, if my mind could be the sky…

The kiss was heaven, then…it was a frenzy.

Charles held her tighter, and she could feel him everywhere—and suddenly—herself not at all. It was
his
hands on her backside, up her spine, in her hair, around her neck, upon her shoulders. It was
his
thigh between hers, pressing against her: solid, thick, searching. It was
his
body pressed full against her, pushing her against the hedgerow. Amelia gasped for air as
his
mouth moved to her neck, and her hands held on to
his
shoulders. Then Amelia felt it, when he stretched out against her once again,
his
mouth at her temple,
his
hands on her waist—
his
erection at her hip. It was like a pipe, that erection, not so out of place from the rest of him, pressing, wanting, pushing.

A virgin she may be, but she was no true innocent. She
’
d learned enough from Hugh.
Here in this garden. The
ton
just behind this hedge, the world a hair’s breadth away. How can he be everywhere at once, and how can I be nowhere?

The heat of him drove her temperature up and up. The beads of sweat coursed her spine, saturating the edge of her dress and corset. The air in the brambles behind her caused a chill across her exposed skin.

The cool rush forced her forward into him, her breasts pushing against her trappings, his hands searching, searching. Her nipples tightened against the chemise and stays, the sensations spiraling through her before she had a chance to consider them. It was all too fast, too much...she needed time to consider, time to think, time... She pushed, she sank, her mind spun…she was lost and then...and then she felt
him
. Like a whisper across her senses, she knew Hugh was there to save her.

Charles had not meant to have off with her, but that laugh…it had been so free, so powerful, like a drug to him he
’
d no wish to control, and she
’
d been with him throughout that entire, magical dance. Charles took her mouth then wrapped her up tighter, and when her body relaxed in acquiescence, he
’
d pushed her toward the hedge wall. The new growth was soft against his hands, a cushion behind them as he moved against her.

He searched every inch of her, wanting to convince himself that what he
’
d felt for the entirety of his life was real. His hands coursed her curves, stroked her hair, held her mouth steady, then traced her neckline, wanting in—though he knew he should not. Charles knew he should stop, but she felt
so…
and in turn he believed the world was now possible because Amelia was there with him.

Charles felt her freedom like he
’
d felt her acquiescence. He felt it now as he tried to rein in his excitement. Perhaps this was possible, perhaps they
’
d reached a point at which Ender would be superfluous. Then she pushed against his chest and said
his
name. It broke the haze. Charles paused, considered, loosened his grip, and then managed to release her.
So…
he was not yet a beast.

“
Charles, I
—”

“Give me a moment, please.” Charles turned away from her, from the way her breasts swelled against her trappings, from the way her mouth dropped open on his name, from the way her cheeks flushed with passion. He wanted nothing more than to drop her to the earth below them, stretch out above her and claim what was his, once and for all. So he turned away even as his entire being screamed,
TAKE TAKE TAKE.

Well, perhaps he
was
yet a beast.

Charles looked back over his shoulder at her ruined countenance and pushed at his temples with the heels of his hands.

Hugh.
Charles had heard the name plain as he heard his tempered breathing now.

Was Amelia calling for help? Calling out in passion? Was it like the night before in Ender
’
s parlor? Did Amelia truly need him to anchor her? Charles tried to school his features and looked back at her again as reassuringly as he could. Her hands were clenched in the branches of the hedgerow, and Charles wanted to go to her, to soothe her…but he turned away yet again because he didn
’
t trust his hands. He shook his head.

He was nearly unhinged. It had been years that he
’
d thought of her, knew he was to be with her, and finally he’d heard the laugh that had haunted him all this time, the laugh she
’
d only ever bestowed on
him
.
Ender.
The man who
’
d been allowed, even as Charles had been turned away. Wasn
’
t that just the opposite of the way it should have been? But it seemed logic ended where Amelia began.

Charles’s patience snapped. He did not turn around. Instead, he took the anger upon himself, to spare her. “I know not what came over me, but that I have wanted for so very long. Simply
wanted
.” He knew what his voice must sound like to her. Raw, edged, untamed.

“Charles, what is it? I only…well. It
’
s a garden, there
’
s a ball, I
’
m only—”

Then he realized, whatever had happened, Ender had come between them without her even realizing it.

“You said his name.” Charles turned then, in time to see her pale. He saw the confusion in her eyes, the shock cross her features. The flush of her cheeks swept away. She truly had no idea. He reached for her, but she backed away.

“Amelia.”

“No, I...no. I thought—” She choked on the words as Charles reached for her again, but she blocked him, then pushed him back. “I
’
m so very sorry. I don
’
t know what to say. I could feel you, everywhere, and I started to believe myself lost. I started to…until I felt…I felt him, and I—”

“What you felt was
me
. Everything you felt—”
Charles stopped.
“There was no one between us, I assure you,” he said in a quieter voice, if still roughened.

A shadow moved at the end of the hedge, seemed to step forward and move slowly toward Amelia.

“I beg your pardon, Your Grace, but unfortunately my lady has the right of it.” Ender straightened his jacket, pulled on his cuffs, checked the cant of his top hat, polished the toes of his boots on the backs of his trousers, obviously concentrating on his being, if only to avoid considering his position.

Ender glanced up as Charles walked toward him, and he stilled, squaring his shoulders, preparing for the worst.

“Endsleigh,” Charles said through clenched teeth. Whatever it was that had held him back snapped. “What should I make of this? Have I unwittingly given you leave to join us without invitation? That
’
s not the man I thought you to be.”

“No, Your Grace, that
’
s not the man I am. I was here long before you. I left the ballroom because a certain lady keeps throwing her niece in my path. I grew weary of dodging her, and then the two of you took to the floor, and I wished to find some space. I truly did not expect to see either of you here tonight. Particularly not like this.” Ender waved a hand between the two of them.

Charles looked at Amelia and saw the blush take her face again as she looked down and away from both of them. Charles turned his head. “
Damn you
, and
damn me
while you
’
re at it.” He could feel his anger like a third lung, breathing, inflating, attempting to gain more air.

Ender smiled,
albeit abashedly.

Charles didn’t feel like giving him any room for apologies, and he felt the tension then, pulling his features tight. From the edge of his sight, he saw Amelia
’
s skirts swish as she turned away from them, most likely to attempt to set herself to rights.

“What’s it to be then? I’m not to have a moment’s peace with Amelia, ever? The woman who
’
s to be my wife? Are you to be everywhere we are? Are you to join in our marriage bed as well? Because, apparently, until she felt your presence…” He heard the words, then tensed as the thought solidified in his head, creating a rather erotic vision. He shook it off and looked back to Amelia. He simply couldn’t deal with this at the moment. He needed to deal with his direct actions to Amelia and setting her to rights. This night was meant to repair her image in the
ton
, not lessen it. He whispered, “Amelia, you simply cannot go back. I
’
ve been terribly, terribly inappropriate.”

“You
’
ve done nothing I did not allow,” she said quietly.

Charles could see her shaking and wanted badly to comfort her, but she stayed him with a look that he felt like a fist to his gut.

“And, yet, you cannot return,” he said. “Let me call my coach. I
’
ll make your apologies to the duke. We
’
ve made an appearance. I believe your original intentions for this night have been met.”

Amelia nodded, as Charles left her with no choice. He had very nearly ruined his future duchess in the Greensborough gardens.

He shook his head and approached her, slowly. He held his hands up in front of him. “I just want to help. I
’
ll get you to the carriage.” He shrugged out of his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Amelia looked up to him, and he frowned. “I
’
m so desperately sorry for this,” he whispered, attempting to keep their conversation private. “I should never have…I let myself get carried away on your laughter.”

“I
’
m the one who
’
s sorry,” she said.

“No, this is my fault entirely. You
’
ve spent your life doing your utmost to fit in with these people whom I so easily take for granted. I should never have put you in this position. Particularly tonight, of all nights.”

“
Your Grace
—”

“Amelia, we are not back to this, are we?”

“Take me home.”

Charles’s heart broke on those words. He
’
d truly made a mess of this night. Why was he so unbound where she was concerned? He managed countless estates, led men through the wilds of the House, aided the queen and her counsel as needed, but this woman…she undid him at his core. He had no control.

He nodded, then turned to Ender. “Can I trust you to look after her until I return with my carriage? There
’
s a gatehouse there, the mews just beyond. I
’
ll meet you there post-haste.”