Absolution Creek (60 page)

‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Olive, you’ve been after the girl since the moment you arrived. Why? It’s not like you could have managed without her. You weren’t used to washing or cooking or doing things a bit rough. Why, the first few weeks all you did was complain while Squib did most of the work.’

‘So I suppose I don’t do anything around here then, Jack.’ Olive stopped darning Jack’s woollen socks and stuck her finger through the hole in them, waggling it around for his benefit.

‘I’m not saying that. I’m asking you to appreciate that Squib has done a lot to ease your way into our new life.’

‘She knows no better.’

Jack banged his fist on the table. ‘That comment’s beneath you, Olive.’

‘And I’m sick of having to put up with her attitude. The girl would be a housemaid in my father’s home.’

‘Well, we’re not in Sydney any more,’ Jack replied curtly.

She eyed him back. ‘And you’re not telling me anything I don’t know.’ She tossed the socks into a basket on the dirt floor.

Jack knew his choices were limited. Squib would either have to be hidden until the trouble with Adams blew over or he’d have to find some other tactic to ensure her security. Either way he could not rely on his brother or fiancée for assistance.

‘You look a little peaky, Olive,’ Thomas said. ‘Can I get you anything?’

‘I’m sure she’s fine, Thomas,’ Jack answered. ‘I was looking for you this morning.’

‘I was helping your fiancée as you never seem to be around.’

‘I see.’ Jack didn’t though, not really. What was he missing that Squib had seen? Olive looked reasonably healthy thanks to the extra weight she now carried and while Thomas was overly attentive towards her at times, there was nothing to suggest there was anything other than friendship between them.

Jack upended the mail bag, grateful for the distraction. A newspaper and a number of letters slid onto the table. He wasn’t an argumentative man and he guessed it possible that Olive’s feelings for Squib were reciprocated, leading to the girl’s destructive comments. Women sure could be difficult.

‘The minister’s due in Stringybark Point next week,’ Thomas read from the newspaper, his voice sober.

‘Thank heavens.’ Olive’s comment was barely audible.

‘Well then.’ Having waited for this moment for weeks, Jack discovered the burst of joy he’d anticipated was sorely lacking. Olive was staring at him, her expression strangely hopeful. ‘All good things come to those who wait.’ His words sounded flat. What was he doing with this woman who was so at odds with this new world? What on earth was he doing?

‘I’m glad.’ Olive squeezed Jack’s hand.

‘Really, I thought you hated it here.’

‘Oh Jack, it’s been hard I’ll admit, but we can make things work.’ She gave a wistful smile. ‘We’ll have to make a trip of it. Town for the weekend it is.’

Thomas coughed. ‘Of course, I’m happy for you both.’

Jack wondered if God would smile on him now, if marriage to Olive would clear him of disobeying his father’s dying wish. For surely that’s what this union meant. It was a joining beyond love. It was a chance for redemption. Having patiently waited to consummate his love for Olive, he’d grown tired from the wanting – tired and angry – yet perseverance was undoubtedly the key to salvation. Obviously they were meant to be together. Jack made a point of checking the mail, his thoughts spiralling downwards. There was an abyss opening around him and he knew to step inside was to lose the one thing that gave his life meaning: Squib. Yet she was but a girl and he nearing twenty. The thought was ludicrous.

Thomas rustled the paper. ‘What news then, Jack?’

The thought of a shady tree appealed to Jack while he sorted out his feelings. He knew what he wanted, but could he break another promise?

‘Jack?’ Thomas pointed to the mail. ‘Are you going to hoard it all day?’

‘Ah, right you are, Thomas.’ Jack sifted through the envelopes, opening them one at a time. One letter advised that a writing desk he’d ordered was due to arrive at Stringybark Point in a week; another, from May, was filled with Sydney gossip. A third envelope, with familiar writing, had been posted in Sydney. ‘This is from you, Olive,’ Jack said with surprise, waving the creamy envelope in the air. ‘It’s certainly got held up in the post. Well, look, you addressed it Absolution instead of Absolution Creek.’

Olive blinked. ‘From me? But I didn’t write any . . .’ She watched as Jack opened it, her mind travelling back to Mrs Bennett’s boarding house and the morning of her attack.
A letter, a letter?
Olive felt faint; the room spun.
The letter
. She
had
written a letter to Jack. A letter saying she would not be following him to Absolution Creek; a letter saying she would not give up her life for his. How on earth could she have forgotten it? She clutched at the collar of her dress. Not only had Mills McCoy ruined her, he’d stolen part of her memory as well. Bile rose in her throat. Her hand grasped the edge of the table for support.

Jack read the few scant lines, disbelief mingling with anger. ‘You weren’t going to come?’ he asked, stunned. ‘You weren’t coming?’

Olive opened her mouth, turned to Thomas.

‘Let me see.’ Thomas read the few brief lines and noted the date, written in Olive’s hand. ‘This was the day of . . .’

‘The day of what, Thomas?’ Jack snatched the letter back.

‘Nothing,’ Olive replied quickly.

‘Nothing?’ Jack yelled. ‘Nothing! What’s going on? You haven’t been yourself ever since you arrived and –’

‘Leave her alone, Jack.’ Thomas placed a hand on Olive’s arm.

‘Leave her alone?’ Jack swiped the mail off the table, knocking the bread knife onto the floor. He read aloud from the letter:

‘That’s nothing, is it, Thomas?’ Jack’s jaw tightened. ‘What on earth’s going on? Why are you here if you didn’t want to come in the first place?’

‘Leave her alone, Jack.’

‘No, I won’t. I deserve an answer.’

‘Obviously she changed her mind,’ Thomas replied.

‘Is that what happened?’ Jack thought of Olive’s complaints over the preceding months. ‘Did you get cold feet?’

Her eyes brimmed with tears.

‘Please let her be, Jack.’ Thomas took the letter from his brother’s hands; replaced it in the envelope.

‘I have a right to know, Olive.’ He squeezed her fingers.

‘I’m with child,’ she answered simply. ‘If you’d bothered to come near me over the last weeks, to hold me more than once or twice, to sit down and be interested in my day, in what I was doing . . .’

Jack’s body went limp. It was as if the world had stilled.

‘Mother Mary.’ Thomas paled. ‘You never said . . .’

Olive ignored Thomas and looked at Jack. ‘You’ve shown me nothing except the affection of friendship. If you’d given me the briefest of touches, been interested in more than what lies beyond these walls I would have shared my pain with you, but no. Jack Manning finally falls on his feet and he’s too obsessed with his precious new life to spare a moment, however brief, for the woman he supposedly loves; the woman who gave up everything to follow him to this godforsaken world.’ Olive burst into tears.

‘But how?’ Jack looked at Olive. ‘Who?’ he asked Thomas. ‘Why? I thought you loved me.’

‘It’s no one’s fault.’ Olive gave a wan smile. ‘I never did realise that you were quite so God-fearing. I thought a man’s wanting would come before marriage, especially out here.’

‘Who’s the man?’ Jack’s throat tore. ‘The father? Did you expect me to raise a . . . a bastard?’

Olive looked him square in the eyes. ‘At first, yes. I didn’t know how to tell you so I expected you to think the child was yours.’ She gave a choked sob. ‘Otherwise, without you, I’d be ruined.’

Her words fairly winded him. ‘I see.’ Jack thought of that first night in the lean-to. Her wanton behaviour that had seemed so out of character was borne of a desire to cover up her disgrace.

‘Then I realised I had to tell you,’ Olive continued, ‘that I had to trust in your love for me.’

‘I’m so sorry, Olive,’ Thomas said softly.

Jack almost forgot Thomas was present. He saw it then: his brother’s love for Olive. Squib’s words became clear. Jack visualised Olive and Thomas together on the lonely trip north: the time together in the train carriage, the rough sleep-outs; the months in Sydney after his leaving. Slowly, painfully, Jack began to understand what occurred, what was still occurring between his only brother and the woman meant to be his wife. Like a sleepwalker Jack stared out the casement window. Outside, the wind picked up. It rushed through the twisted trees, sending dirt and leaves in waves across the ground. Squib’s accusation returned to burn an image in his mind.

‘I love Olive,’ Thomas revealed. ‘I can’t help it, but that’s the truth of it.’

Jack turned from the window, a wedge of steel lodged in his gut. Olive’s lips formed a small
o
.

Crossing the floor in two strides, Jack punched Thomas in the face. The boy dropped to the ground. ‘You’re no longer welcome in this house.’

Olive rushed to Thomas’s side. ‘Jack, how can you do that? It’s not
his
fault.’

‘Really. Last I heard it took two.’

Thomas shook Olive off. ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Jack. Let Olive explain what –’

‘At this point in time, Thomas, I wouldn’t care if you told me she’d been accosted in the paddock by a bushranger. The end result is the same. She lied.’

Olive collapsed against the cupboard. Plates and cups fell, scattering white shards onto the dark soil of the floor.

‘And she has kept on lying. I may well have lived my life bringing up another man’s child.’ Jack took a steadying breath, sure his heart would never return to normality. ‘I want both of you out of here by nightfall.’

‘Our God – the one we learnt about at Father’s knee – is not a brutal God, Jack.’ Thomas supported Olive about the waist, a final piece of crockery crashing from the top shelf onto the floor.

‘Leave.’

Olive blanched. ‘Where am I to go, Jack?’

‘Anywhere, nowhere, back to your beloved Sydney. I don’t really care.’ Jack turned to his brother. ‘Take two horses.’

‘Olive can’t ride,’ Thomas pointed out.

Jack’s words cut the air. ‘That’s not my problem.’ He recalled the girl in the white silk clouche hat and the infectious smile, and felt only pain.

‘You once told me, Jack, that God lived here too. Well, quite frankly he doesn’t, he couldn’t. Nothing could live out here,
nothing
.’ Olive’s words cut the air like a flint match.

Jack gave her a single withering gaze. ‘Tidy the mess before you leave.’ He pointed to the broken crockery and then walked out into the midday sun.

‘You’ve become as mean-spirited as this land you love.’ Olive’s desperate voice carried along the hallway.

‘Jack, please listen to Olive’s story. I’m sure that once –’

‘What for? You were brought up under the guidance of the church, Thomas. You should have known better.’ Jack strode away from the house. Olive had lain with another – his own brother – and they’d both been prepared to lie about it for the rest of their lives. That was why she wrote the letter, Jack decided. The child was Thomas’s. Olive must have been with child before she left Sydney and decided that his younger brother would not be able to provide for her.

‘I do know better, Jack. I know what forgiveness means.’ Thomas was standing on the top step, his fingers entwined with Olive’s as Jack disappeared through the trees. ‘I’m not the father of this child.’ His words went unanswered. He turned to Olive. ‘He didn’t hear me.’

‘He’s right, it makes little difference, Thomas. In the beginning I did intend to pass this child off as his and that was wrong. I’m only sorry that you’ve been involved in my undoing.’

‘Why didn’t you tell him about the attack? Why didn’t you tell me . . .’ His voice trailed off as his eyes travelled to Olive’s abdomen.

‘I’ve provided your brother with the excuse he needed.’ She sniffed into a handkerchief. ‘We both know he’s in love with another and it’s a devotion that goes beyond right or wrong.’ Olive tilted her face towards the sun; relief and sadness, freedom and uncertainty surged through her veins. ‘We should pack only what we need and leave immediately.’

Thomas took her hand. ‘We should wait for him to come back and set things right.’

‘No, we should leave,’ Olive said firmly.

‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes.’ Olive smiled. ‘I am. There’s no place for me here at Absolution Creek.’

Chapter 49