Afraid to Fly (Fearless #2) (38 page)

Kami caught my eye the same time mine sought hers. We both smiled. Angel bitching about anything and everything was a good sign. It meant things were getting back to normal. Things would be all right. Our family was not only still intact, it had grown and blossomed into something rare and priceless. And for that, I felt something I’d thought was lost. I felt hope.

“T
OBY! COME ON. WE
don’t want to be late!”

I double-checked to make sure I had a new SD card and all my lenses stashed in my camera case. Blaine had asked me to take photos during the Sip and See at Dive in honor of their new daughter. I was more than happy to oblige; I had been dying to get some shots of that precious baby girl, plus it was the least I could do for all of Blaine and Kami’s generosity. After Sal fired me for slapping Cherri, it felt like everything I touched turned to dust. My relationship—whatever it was—with Dom was officially over. Toby was heartbroken that he had disappeared from our lives and from the center. And now I had to figure out how to make up for the lost income.

I wanted to curl up in a ball and die, but instead, I made a fool of myself by getting teary eyed during my shift at Dive. Blaine had stopped in to check on things, but had caught me in the backroom where we kept our purses and coats. He pulled me aside and asked me what was wrong, and I completely fell apart.

I told him about Dom, about Cherri, and about losing my job. I told him that I didn’t think I was cut out for this parenthood stuff and had considered sending Toby to our grandparents, who weren’t fairing much better than me. I wanted to give up. Being a grownup had just become too overwhelming. I’d had it with
adulting.
That shit sucked.

After patiently listening to me sob like a blubbering idiot, he handed me a box of tissues and told me—not asked—that I would come work at Dive full time. He even said that Toby was welcome to come into work with me anytime, and could even earn a few bucks by helping with minor things, even though it was illegal as hell. I understood what he was doing—he was giving me a home. A place to belong. A family, even if it was just a work family. And that made me sob even harder.

So doing a good job today was important to me. I wanted to capture every precious moment on their special day. And that started with showing up on time.

Toby bounded down the short hallway, his brown hair a wild mess of curls. He needed a haircut, and I made a mental note to ask CJ about a good barber. He had gotten over my kitchen haircuts real quick.

“Hey kid, let me take a look at you.” I finger-combed his nearly shoulder-length mane, fixed his collar and straightened the wrinkles from his polo shirt. My little brother was growing into a handsome young man. It wouldn’t be long before the girls started noticing him. I just hoped they wouldn’t see his verbal aversion as something weird or wrong. I didn’t want him to be hurt by anyone, ever. And nothing stung worse than being rejected by someone you cared about.

We arrived at Dive just before the first guests began to file in. Before it got too crowded, I quickly snapped some shots of the party décor—pink and vintage gold with old fashioned signage and paper pinwheels. There was a sipping station set up in the bar area, featuring mimosas with assorted fresh fruit purees and garnishes. Adjacent to that was a buffet table lined with chaffing dishes, including a dessert bar showcasing mini cupcakes, cake pops and chocolate-covered strawberries, all dressed in pink.

“Isn’t it lovely?” Victoria gasped, sidling beside me. “Such a beautiful day for a beautiful baby.”

She was absolutely right. Kami and Blaine had spared no expense, and I had a feeling Angel had a hand in the planning as well. It was Sunday, so Blaine had decided to close up shop for the private affair. Hard to believe that just last night, this place was packed with wall-to-wall patrons, chugging beer, pounding shots and rocking out to AngelDust.

The place was gorgeous, but something was missing. Although I didn’t want to see Dom, I had mentally prepared myself to be in the same room with him again. He hadn’t been back to Dive since that incident with Amanda, and I wasn’t sure he would be here today. I wanted to ask, but I had my pride. He’d made it abundantly clear that there was nothing left between us. Asking about him would be pouring salt in my own wounds.

Once the party was in full swing, I busied myself by snapping photos of guests meeting baby Amelia for the very first time, along with congratulatory praise for the proud parents. Most of the partygoers consisted of Blaine’s relatives and Dive employees, along with the members of AngelDust who would be performing some occasion-appropriate cover songs a little later. Everything was perfect, but still no Dominic. And while it was sad that Amelia’s godfather wasn’t in attendance, I thought maybe it was for the best. All eyes were on the happy family, as they should be. And factoring in him and all our would-be drama would detract from today’s purpose.

The music started, AngelDust taking the stage to play their version of Paramore’s “Ain’t It Fun.” They were amazing—maybe even better than the original—and I happily bopped around, capturing images of the guests dancing and singing along. Surprisingly, I even caught Toby nodding his head, his eyes glued to the stage and Angel Cassidy. She looked down at him and winked, causing his face to flame bright red. Huh. He had a crush on her. I wasn’t surprised; straight or gay, Angel Cassidy had always been a stunner. I imagined she had more than her fair share of male attention.

If his adolescent male affections weren’t enough of a revelation, I was momentarily astonished by yet another discovery about my baby brother. His mouth . . . was
moving.
He was singing along. And that filled me with a sense of maternal pride and hope that I didn’t think existed inside me. There was a chance he would come back to us. It may have not been today, or tomorrow, or even this year, but there was a chance we’d get him back.

The band played a few more songs before Angel requested that Blaine come to the stage. Smiling, he cradled his daughter to his chest and made his way to the front. And as Angel belted out the first few notes of Bruno Mars’ “Marry You,” her raspy tone giving it a rock edge, I knew exactly why she had called him up. Oh my God, Blaine was proposing. My camera whirred at lightning speed as I captured the bright smile on his face as he held his baby close. I searched through the excited crowd for Kami, hoping to get her reaction as she realized what was happening, but she was nowhere to be found. However, as the band transitioned into the verse, she was definitely heard.

Kami stepped onto the stage, leading the song with a voice that completely left me gobsmacked, as Victoria would say. She was
singing.
And she was
incredible.
And by the perplexed look on Blaine’s face as he looked up at her, this was not the plan. For the second time in 60 seconds, I was left with a WTF face. Blaine wasn’t proposing, at least he wasn’t anymore.
Kami
was.

After the verse, she sang her way down to the dance floor area where Blaine stared at her in awe. Too engrossed in the enormity of the moment that they had chosen to share with us, I had to remind myself to take pictures so they could relive these memories for years to come. Watching Kami sing to him, and to their newborn daughter, had to be the sweetest thing I had ever seen. She had always been somewhat reserved—although friendly—so seeing her so beautifully exposed, pulled at my heartstrings a bit.

I moved around the room to get every angle, careful not to intrude on their intimate moment. But after the song ended, and Kami dropped to her knees. And with my mascara running, I got in as close as possible. The look on her face as she looked up at Blaine, his own eyes watery with overwhelming emotion, was like seeing true love on display in its most raw, vulnerable form.

“Blaine,” she said into the mic, her voice quavering. “You’ve given me safety, security, patience, understanding and unconditional love. And now, you’ve given me the honor of being a mother. And while these things are absolutely priceless and immeasurable, I must ask you for one more thing. Your last name. So, if you would have me, I would gladly give you the rest of my life in return. Marry me?”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as Blaine dropped onto his knees right in front of her, holding their baby tight between them. The way he pulled her to him and kissed her . . . it was like their love radiated throughout the room and touched the most hollow of places. You could feel it expand in your chest, making it hard to breathe through the knot of emotion in your throat. It was exhilarating, it was scary, and it was completely real. And I thought,
This is what it must feel like. This is what it’s like to fly.

“I’ve wanted that since the day you came tearing in here. From the very first look, the very first smile, the very first shot of tequila, I’ve wanted to make you mine until the rest of our days. You don’t have to ask, baby. I’m already yours. And if you’ll have me, I promise to make you happy. You and our daughter, and the other eight children I can’t wait to make with you,” he chuckled, causing a ripple of laughter around the room, even a few hoots and hollers. “I love you, Kami. Yes. A thousand times yes. Let’s get married.”

The crowd erupted into cheers, and I even found myself shouting with glee between snapping pictures. The happy couple—well, trio—eventually got off the floor and resumed celebrating with family and friends. After Angel gave them each hugs and kisses, she jumped back on the stage to finish AngelDust’s set.

“Since this is Make Angel Cry Day, we have one more special request.”

She didn’t say any more than that. The band just began to play, and I recognized the song instantly. Apparently, it was Make Raven Cry Day as well. A dozen memories ran through my head as Angel sang the first verse of “Eternal Flame.” Memories of my mom when she was happy and healthy. Memories of knowing what it felt like to be someone’s daughter, to belong to someone who loved you because they created you. Memories of her singing those words to a tiny Toby as he smiled and laughed. Memories of his first words, and the way he used to call me Mawwy in his adorable toddler talk. And most recently, memories of riding down the highway at the wheel of Dom’s car, singing at the top of my lungs, feeling wanted by him, and wanting him too—as scary as it was.

I missed being Melanie. I missed having a sense of security. I missed belonging. And I missed him.

Even when I thought he was a piece of shit, he was still a part of my life. I had held onto him all these years, lying in wait, hoping to come face to face with the monster that had destroyed me. Except he wasn’t a monster. He was a beautiful, tortured soul whose only crime was feeling too much . . . hurting too much.

I almost didn’t see him through the tears in my eyes, when he stepped into view. But when I did, all the fight, all the resistance in me dissipated. My shoulders sagged, and my camera bag slipped past my arms. If it weren’t for his quick reflexes, my camera would have been the next to go. I fell into him, surrendering all the pain, all the anger to him. I let him hold me and tell me that he was there to catch me. I let him be what he had been all along—my safety net. Tethering me to this life when I wanted to fly far away.

“Why are you here?” I managed to say.

Dom looked down at me with compassion and caring in his eyes. “For you, Raven. I’ve always been here for you. You’re bigger than my fear, bigger than my pain. You’re the most perfect part of me,” he whispered, a smile on those perfect lips. “Besides, we have so much to
taco
‘bout.”

With eyes shut tight and my head tipped to the sky, I laughed until it hurt. And I laughed because it hurt to keep denying how much I loved him.

“Tuesday night?” I asked, gazing at him through tears and stars in my eyes.

He squeezed me tighter and nodded. “Tuesday it is. And every day until eternity.”

“Eternity seems like a mighty long time.”

“Only when you’re not having fun.”

Then, he kissed me for every broken promise, every lonely night, and every anguished cry. He kissed me like I belonged to him . . . like I’d always belonged to him. And truth be told, I always had.