[Alaskan Quest 02] - Under the Northern Lights (28 page)

Leah took hold of Jayce’s hand and placed it against her cheek. ‘‘I want that very much. I want to be happy about this baby. Emma just told me that she miscarried her child. She was so devastated, and I felt so guilty hoping God might do that for me as well.

Please forgive me for thinking in such an unloving manner.’’

He got up from the table and pulled her into his arms. ‘‘Leah, I forgive you. Please forgive me for having any doubts about this child. Everything will be all right—you’ll see. We’ll tell everyone in the village that we’re going to have a child, and we’ll celebrate.’’

She nodded and lifted her face to his. Jayce saw the invitation in her eyes. It would be the first time they had kissed since returning to Last Chance. Slowly, so as to let her change her mind if needed, Jayce lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was tender, lingering, and filled with the love he held for her.

Jacob and Nutchuk returned after the start of the new year. They brought a plentiful harvest of skins, as well as fresh caribou meat from a kill made just the day before. The village celebrated and immediate preparations were made for Jacob to make a trip to Nome.

Jacob had done a lot of thinking while away from the village. He’d spent much time reading his Bible and praying for guidance, and now he felt he knew what needed to be done. He approached the Kjellmann house with determined steps. He needed to talk to Helaina.

‘‘Why, Jacob, I thought you’d still be sleeping after our festivities last night. Such a happy time. We were so excited to learn about Leah having a baby,’’ Emma said as she greeted him. ‘‘You will be an uncle, ja?’’

‘‘Yes, indeed. It’s a happy time.’’

She nodded. ‘‘So what brings you here?’’

‘‘I need to speak with Helaina. Is she in?’’

‘‘Ja. She’s putting Rachel down for a nap. Come in. Can you stay to drink some coffee?’’

‘‘Well . . . maybe just a bit. I need to talk privately with Helaina.’’

‘‘Ja, I understand. I was just heading over to help Bjorn with school. Helaina is watching Rachel, and the boys are playing down the way at Seal-Eye Sam’s. He’s teaching them to catch seals.’’ She grinned. ‘‘Bryce was certain he would bring one home tonight.’’

Jacob laughed. ‘‘Never underestimate a boy’s spirit and drive.’’

‘‘I won’t. It wouldn’t surprise me to find a seal on my doorstep when I get back.’’

‘‘Jacob!’’ Helaina nearly gasped his name as she came from the back room. ‘‘I didn’t know you were here.’’

‘‘I came to speak with you—if you have a moment.’’

She nodded. ‘‘Would you like coffee?’’

‘‘You sound like Emma now. That Swedish hospitality has worn off on you, eh?’’

‘‘She’ll make a good housewife,’’ Emma declared and moved to the door, where her parka hung. ‘‘I’ll be back after school, ja?’’

‘‘That’s fine. I’ll feed the boys lunch when they come home.’’

Emma nodded and pulled on her coat. ‘‘I’m thinking Sam will feed them. He’s probably feeding them all day long. They will be too fat to fit through the door if Sam and his wife have anything to say about it.’’ The trio laughed and Emma quickly departed.

Jacob watched Helaina as she moved comfortably around the kitchen. She seemed somehow changed. Softened. He sensed a newfound peace in her. ‘‘I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t see you last night at the celebration.’’

‘‘I stayed here and kept Rachel for Emma.’’ She brought the coffee to the table. ‘‘Be careful—it’s hot.’’

Jacob warmed his hands for a moment on the mug. ‘‘Well, I’m sure you’ve heard that I plan to head out for Nome. I’ll probably leave tomorrow at the latest. We’re out of so many supplies, and while there is still plenty for everyone to eat, it would be nice to have some of the things that spoil us.’’

Helaina nodded. ‘‘I agree. Sometimes I miss fresh fruit more than I can say.’’

‘‘Well, that’s why I’m here. I think you should come with me to Nome. You can get word to your brother, hopefully, and make plans for the spring. Nome will have more to offer you, and while you’ll have to pay for room and board, you won’t have to worry about feeling too isolated or lonely.’’

She frowned. ‘‘I wasn’t feeling isolated or lonely.’’

Jacob looked down and suddenly felt very confused. He wanted to tell her that she had to go—had to get away from him so that he wouldn’t lose his heart any more than he already had. But at the same time he wanted to declare his love for her and plead with her to stay.

‘‘But,’’ she continued, ‘‘if you feel that this is what I should do, then I’ll go.’’

Jacob looked up. He started to tell her that he didn’t feel that way at all, but something held him silent.

‘‘I suppose I can be ready tomorrow. I don’t have that much that belongs to me. In fact, most of my things are still in Nome. At least I hope that the hotel had the decency to hold on to them for me.’’

Jacob didn’t know what to say. He was surprised by her cooperation. There was definitely something different about Helaina Beecham. ‘‘I’ll be ready to leave by six. It’ll still be dark, but I know the trails well.’’

‘‘All right.’’ She turned away from him rather abruptly and busied herself with something on the kitchen counter. ‘‘I’ll be ready.’’

Jacob finished his coffee and got up. ‘‘I’ll go now.’’

He walked back to Jayce and Leah’s, all the while wondering if he’d made a mistake. With Chase dead, there was no reason for Helaina to remain in Alaska—no reason for her to be in Last Chance. No reason at all.

Chapter Twenty-four

H
elaina thought she could be strong and cooperate with Jacob’s decision to take her to Nome, but with each mile they passed, she was less certain it was going to work. She’d completely surprised herself by falling in love with Jacob Barringer. What she thought at first was just infatuation with the tawny brown-haired man had turned into something different.

As they traveled she thought of her late husband, Robert, and how he had been her heart and soul. Robert had made her feel protected and loved. She had been a delicate possession in his care. Jacob, on the other hand, expected her to have skill and endurance. While he offered her protection, he also expected her to be independently capable of fending for herself. She liked that. While she’d never thought it possible to fall in love again, that was exactly what had happened.

To her surprise the sled slowed and Jacob leaned down. ‘‘There’s a storm moving in. See the heavy clouds to the west and south?’’

She looked and nodded. The dark clouds and the sea had closed on the horizon and the wind had picked up, dropping the temperature. She recognized the signs. ‘‘What do you want to do?’’

‘‘We’ll need to make camp for the night—or as long as the storm lasts. I’ve seen them last for days up here,’’ he announced. ‘‘I’ll look for a good spot and we’ll stop.’’

In another mile he made good on his word as he brought the sled to a halt. ‘‘This will give us as much cover as we can hope for.’’

Helaina glanced around at the barren landscape. There wasn’t much in the way of protection. ‘‘I’ll help you set up the tent,’’ she offered.

‘‘That would be good. We’ll get it done much quicker, and then I can see to the dogs. I think we’ll have an hour or so before things get really bad. I’ll start a fire first and see about getting some snow melted and some food thawing. It’ll be much faster than just relying on the oil stove.’’

Jacob was quite proficient in his tasks. At times Helaina could almost swear there were two of him. ‘‘I’ll need you to gather more driftwood once we have the tent up,’’ he told her. Helaina nodded her agreement, all the while checking the skies to see how close the storm might be.

They worked well together. Jacob showed her how to scrape snow from the camp to make a little indention for their dwelling. He talked of using the snow for insulation. ‘‘I’ve been out before with John and we cut ice houses. He’s very good at it, and I can hold my own, but it isn’t easy. It’s not fast either. They are, however, surprisingly warm.’’

‘‘I was amazed to hear that so many people lived in tents during the gold rush in this area. You said you were a part of the Yukon gold rush. Did you live in a tent?’’

‘‘We did,’’ Jacob said. ‘‘The tents were pretty large, and we had bigger stoves than the little ones we use here. There were times when we lived with a lot of people in one tent. Other times there weren’t but a few. People lived in those tents even when it was forty below.’’

‘‘I can’t even imagine. Everything up here seems so extreme— so unusual.’’

‘‘It’s definitely a life of sacrifice. But I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I love Alaska.’’

She said nothing, not sure that she could respond without giving away her feelings.

‘‘You’ve probably noted that most of our tents have floors,’’ Jacob said as he fought the frozen ground to secure the stakes. ‘‘That’s Leah’s doing. She felt more secure and definitely warmer. She bought duck canvas and put it together herself.’’

‘‘I do prefer it,’’ Helaina admitted. ‘‘I feel less exposed. It was ingenious. Leah really ought to patent the idea and sell it to Sears, Roebuck and Company.’’

Jacob laughed. ‘‘I’ll tell her she can be a tentmaker like Paul.’’

‘‘Paul who?’’

Jacob looked up. ‘‘He’s in the Bible. He wrote much of the New Testament.’’

‘‘Oh, the man who was called Saul. The one who persecuted the Christians?’’

Jacob nodded. ‘‘I’m impressed. You’ve been reading.’’

‘‘I’ve been asking a lot of questions too.’’ She worked to get the tent poles positioned. ‘‘Did your sister tell you that I made my peace with God?’’

Jacob seemed surprised. ‘‘No. No, she didn’t. I suppose I really didn’t give her a lot of time to tell me anything. I heard about the baby, though. That’s very exciting for her. Exciting, too, that you would give your heart to Jesus. What changed your mind?’’

‘‘You did. You and Leah both. I was amazed at how you handled difficulties and trials. You always seemed to have such peace. It was quite maddening, actually.’’ She grinned and got to her feet.

‘‘Come on, let’s get this thing up so that we can unload the sled. We can talk about this all night if need be.’’ Jacob manhandled the tent into shape and soon had it erected. ‘‘There. That ought to hold us.’’

Helaina gathered driftwood while Jacob saw to the dogs. They were quite efficient, she thought. We would make a good team—a good husband and wife. She looked up suddenly at the thought— almost fearful that Jacob would have heard her.

‘‘I’ve got to stop thinking that way,’’ she murmured to herself. Refocusing on her task, Helaina felt her hands trembling. She tried to pretend it was simply the cold, but her fingers were plenty warm inside her sealskin mittens. She looked to where Jacob finished watering the dogs. The wind was starting to blow harder and it made her steps more uncertain. Jacob didn’t seem in the least bit bothered by the weather. He took it all in stride, as though it were nothing more troubling than an ocean breeze.

I’ve never planned to remarry. I’ve never wanted to risk loving someone
again. This is a dangerous land. It would be easy to lose him up here—see
him killed by a bear. Just like Chase
. But it had been simple enough for thugs to kill her parents and Robert in an affluent New York neighborhood. Perhaps life was fraught with dangers no matter where you were, and a person just had to endure.

‘‘That’s enough wood,’’ he called above the wind. ‘‘Go ahead and get in the tent. Get the oil stove lit. That will help to warm up the place.’’

Helaina slipped inside the tent. It wasn’t much more than seven by seven and smelled of old seal oil. She thought of the close quarters and wondered how she would ever rest comfortably knowing that Jacob was just a few feet away. When they’d planned this trip he had figured to sleep in the sled, but with a storm approaching, she wondered if he would spend the night with her in the tent. He would at least take refuge here for a time, and that would put them in very close proximity to each other.

By the time Jacob joined her she had the stove going and the chill off the air. It was still cold, but not so much that she couldn’t discard her mittens.

‘‘Feels a lot better in here. Oh, it’s starting to snow. I think we’ve had more snow this winter than most.’’ To her surprise he pulled off his parka and set it aside.

‘‘Won’t you get cold? I mean colder?’’ she asked, motioning to his coat.

‘‘Momentarily, but if I keep it on I’ll start to sweat, and that could be deadly. It’s important to layer yourself properly up here and pace your work so that you don’t sweat. Otherwise you risk freezing even if you’re amply dressed. It’s a mistake a lot of people make up here.’’

‘‘It is a completely different world.’’ She thought about her own parka and finally decided to take it off. ‘‘I feel foolish,’’ she said, carefully putting it aside.

He laughed. ‘‘You won’t. You’ll warm up with both of us in here and the stove going. You’ll see.’’

She rubbed her arms for a moment, more out of nervousness than cold. ‘‘Emma and Leah helped me dress, so I suppose I’ll be fine.’’

Jacob nodded and started to put together their supper. ‘‘I hope you don’t mind more caribou.’’

‘‘Actually no. I prefer it to the seal and whale meat. I suppose we all have our preferences. I can’t imagine what my friends in New York will say when I tell them of the things I’ve eaten. They might even think such things delicacies, but I doubt I’ll ever see
muktuk
on the menu at Delmonico’s.’’

‘‘What’s that—a restaurant?’’

‘‘Yes. A very popular place at one time. Although that poor establishment is having a fierce time of it. The war has changed everything.’’

‘‘Truly? Even though we’re not at war here in the United States?’’

Helaina nodded. ‘‘It’s more felt on the East Coast, I’m sure. The businesses in New York and Boston that were dealing heavily with imports from the European countries are suffering. It affects our economy even if we aren’t involved. Although, sadly, I believe we will be involved before much longer. I’m not sure how we can avoid it.’’

‘‘I guess the war doesn’t seem very real here in Alaska. I read up on it in Seattle, but even there it seemed almost the stuff of fables.’’