All of Me (6 page)

She bypassed the junk food aisle altogether.

“Okay, Faith. Hold up.” He grabbed the end of her cart and pulled it down the aisle. Snagging a bag of potato chips, he tossed them in her cart. “Better. Let’s find you some Twinkies.”

“No. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You need to eat.”

She straightened. “I eat.”

His lip curled as he looked in her cart. “Real food. Live a little. Buy the chips. Embrace the chips.”

“I can’t.”

This gave him pause. “Why?”

Fumbling with the chain around her neck, she grasped the pendant and dragged it back and forth. Her gaze drifted away, light-years away, as if she was battling with herself over whether she should talk. He waited her out. He’d wait all day. Finally, she took a deep breath and leveled him with a stare
.

“I only have one kidney. I watch what I eat, monitor salt intake, and avoid caffeine so I don’t do any long-term damage.”

Three things happened in the span of two seconds flat. He suddenly had the urge to punch his own face, draw her to his chest until he wasn’t shaking anymore, and do whatever it
took to wipe that expression from her features. Instead, his brain disconnected from his mouth. “Why do you only have one kidney?”

Her teeth went to work on her lower lip as she focused on his shirt. “Someone else needed it.”

An elderly gentleman made his way toward them, lifted a bag of pretzels from the rack, and kept going. Alec kept his eyes on her face. This wasn’t the time for this, nor was it any of his business, but hell if he was letting this drop. Call it writer’s curiosity. When they were alone, he’d ask the rest.

He took the bag out of her cart and replaced the chips on the shelf. “You about done?”

“We can check out.”

She spoke so softly that if he hadn’t been watching her mouth, he might not have heard her. That mermaid voice that was doing funny things to him.

While she checked out, he bagged her groceries. They walked to his car, where he put the bags in the trunk. Once they were seated inside, he turned over the ignition, put the car in drive, changed his mind, and shoved the gear back into park.

“Are you dying? Is that it?”

“No.” Just that.
No.
And an expression that was carefully blank.

He turned, his fingers tightening on the wheel as he stared straight ahead.

“People can live with only one kidney. I just don’t take any unnecessary risks.”

He had no clue why this sickening dread tore at his gut, or why her words made him want to break something. He barely knew her. He shouldn’t be invested in whether she was sick or not. In honesty, she could have four hearts and six lungs, and it shouldn’t matter.

“You’re angry.”

He put the car in drive. “I’m not.”

“You are. I don’t . . .” She reached out for him but quickly drew her hand away.

He pulled into traffic. “You don’t what?” he asked, keeping his voice calm.

Instead of answering, she turned her head away and watched the scenery pass.

Alec strode into Jake and Lacey’s house and called out for Lacey. Jake was working, but Lacey’s car was in the drive. Their housekeeper came into the living room, wiping her hands on a towel.

“She’s upstairs in her studio, sir.”

He nodded his thanks and climbed the stairs to the third floor. Classical music droned from the speakers in the corner and Lacey, her back to him, was standing in front of a canvas.

“Knock, knock.”

She turned but her usual smile was slow in coming. She walked to the iPod station and turned the music down. “Hey. Everything okay?”

No, but it wasn’t her problem he couldn’t shake the shit Faith had said from his mind. “I’m good. I was wondering if you’d be up for getting everyone together for a night out. Dinner, a club, something. Tonight’s probably too late, but next Friday?”

“Do you mean with Cole and Mia?”

“And Faith.”

Now she smiled like she meant it. “Sure. I’ll talk to everyone. It’ll be fun.”

He nodded and turned to go, but her canvas caught his attention. Or rather, what she was painting on the canvas. “What’s that?”

“Oh, come look.” She wiped her hands on a cloth and handed him a printout. “I went over to Faith’s earlier to invite her to join me and Mia at the spa tomorrow. She had this picture on the mantel of her and her sister. I snapped a picture with my phone.”

“I thought it was just her and her folks.” Wasn’t that what she’d said at lunch this week? The photo was obviously taken years ago. Both girls wore big grins and hospital gowns. The other one, Faith’s sister, had no hair.

“Her sister died from cancer. It must’ve been a while ago because that’s the only photo she had out.”

Cancer. That . . . sucked.

They looked like sisters. The facial shape and pouty mouth bore similarities. But where Faith’s eyes were golden brown, her sister’s were hazel. She also seemed to have a good four or five years on Faith.

Faith who ate only insanely healthy food, went to bed at a decent hour, and only had one kidney.

Someone else needed it
.

Her sister? Alec didn’t know a lot of the medical aspects of cancer treatment, but would a new kidney be a requirement? Maybe the sister had renal cancer? He shook his head.

“I thought I’d paint the two of them, but I don’t know what her sister’s hair looked like before she lost it all. Do you think she’ll be upset I’m doing this?”

Hell if he knew, but it was a nice thing Lacey was doing. In the painting she’d started, she’d replaced the hospital gowns with regular T-shirts. Also gone was the hospital bed
and the tubes and wires protruding from them both. Lacey had painted the ocean behind them instead.

Alec examined the picture more closely, wondering why Faith was connected to the equipment if she was healthy. Maybe this photo was taken when she donated the kidney. It was obviously a hard topic for Faith to discuss, as she’d changed the subject when he’d asked about her habits.

No wonder. He felt like an ass for teasing her.

He handed the printout back to Lacey. “I’m sure she’ll love it. You can always ask her about the hair when you see her.” If Lacey was attempting to replace the negative images by removing the hospital setting, then leaving her sister’s head bald wouldn’t be wise.

“I hope you’re right. I don’t want to upset her. I painted Cole, Dean, and I like this for Cole’s living room. He loved it.”

Dean being their brother who had died ten-plus years ago. It had hit Cole and Lacey very hard. Had hit everyone hard.

Lacey’s painting captured Faith’s smile and eyes in vivid detail. Guess her skills went beyond landscapes. “You’re very good.”

“You think?” She beamed a smile with all the innocence of youth, clearly not seeking compliments. Guess everyone had their insecurities. Even rich princesses.

“I do.” He walked to the door. “Back to the writing cave for me.”

Except when he returned to the guesthouse, intent on pounding out some words if it killed him, images of Faith with IVs and hospital gowns swam before his eyes, blending with images of Laura from years ago. The look on Faith’s face when she’d explained her diet was just as haunting. He forced himself to think of the sweet smile Faith had when he drove with the top down, but that only caused more chaos in his head.

Fuck it. He scrubbed his hands over his face and retrieved
a beer from the fridge to sit out on the back deck. But he couldn’t sit either. So he paced.

Eventually, the restlessness eased and he leaned against the railing. Dusk was starting its descent, taking with it some of the heavy humidity from the air. A few sailboats were still in the water off in the distance. Gulls circled overhead. Waves lapped the shore. He took it all in, hoping for a glimpse of inspiration to get words down. Anything he could hold on to with both hands.

Damn, but he couldn’t shake the emptiness inside. Even as a child, he’d had fictional characters and story ideas for company. Losing that was like solitary confinement. Isolation. He was powerless. Useless.

Lost.

Glancing to his left, he caught Faith on the other side of the beach, walking toward the water. Her arms were crossed in front of her and, just as she’d done before, she watched the ocean with still composure. Everything about her resonated serenity. If not for the loneliness and longing in her eyes, he’d swear she had no emotions. He wondered how long it took her to train herself not to desire. To want. Because Faith, for some ungodly reason, appeared satisfied with being invisible. Where others pushed and fought for more—more money, more friends, more status—Faith was content, just as she was, in her little corner of the world.

Or so it seemed to him. He knew he was right, though. He’d watched people his entire life, could read them.

She pulled a phone from her pocket and stared at the screen. After several long moments, her arms fell to her sides and she plopped her butt on the sand. Still holding the phone, she brought the heels of her palms to her eyes and rocked.

He was halfway down the beach before he realized what he was doing and stopped. She hadn’t come out here for
comfort or company. She’d come out to be alone. Obviously something had her in tears. Tears in general he could handle. Faith in tears? Probably not.

And he was the last person who could make someone feel better. He’d proven that over and over again.

Backtracking, although he really wanted to move forward, he made his way to the guesthouse to leave her to it.

*   *   *

“What can I get you to drink?”

Faith looked at the glasses of champagne Mia and Lacey held, and then up at the spa attendant. Should she ask for water? Would it be rude to refuse a drink? She never indulged in alcohol, not even wine. But as long as she didn’t do it in excess, one glass wouldn’t hurt.

“Whatever they have is fine. Thank you.”

“So.” Lacey leaned back in her pedicure chair. “Alec wants to get everyone together for a night out.”

Mia wiggled her toes in the footbath. “What’s he have in mind?”

“Clubbing or dinner was mentioned. What do you think?”

Faith didn’t realize Lacey was talking to her until no one answered. “Oh. Sure. I can watch Ginny for you while you guys go out.”

Lacey laughed. “We meant for you to join us.”

Her chest swelled a little at the offer, but . . . “Oh, well . . . I’m not sure.”

Alec was a bigwig author from New York, used to brushing elbows with the rich and famous. Clubbing was probably a nightly thing for him. Lacey and Cole were upper-crust elite. Martinis and caviar kind of people. Mia, though from an impoverished childhood, had settled into her new, comfortable life here. But Faith would never fit in.

“Faith’s got a point. We’d have no one to watch Ginny.”

Lacey mulled that over. “Would Bea do it? Ginny knows her.”

Faith didn’t know how long the Covingtons had employed Bea as their housekeeper, but Ginny did seem very comfortable with the young woman. She was also a hard worker and very responsible.

Mia tipped her head to the side. “Perhaps. I’d hate to ask her to stay after she’s worked all day. Plus, if Cole and I are going to take that trip, I don’t want to upset Ginny by leaving her with a sitter, even for just a few hours.”

“I’ll stay with Ginny,” Faith said again, hoping they’d take her up on the offer.

“No, no.” Lacey took a sip of champagne. “You have to come. We’ll just have to do something Ginny can participate in.”

The attendants came back and towel-dried their feet. Awkwardness caused Faith to squirm in her seat. She had never had a pedicure before. Seemed like a waste of money. But then the attendant started rubbing lotion into her feet, massaging her soles, and she had to bite back a moan. Okay, this wasn’t so bad.

“We could do the pier,” Mia suggested.

“Good idea. They have games and the Ferris wheel.” Lacey pulled her phone out of her purse. “What’s your number, Faith?”

Faith rattled it off.

Moments later a text chimed. Faith dug her cell out of her pocket, seeing that Lacey had added her to a chat with Mia, Cole, Jake, and Alec.

Lacey: How’s the pier for next Friday sound? We can bring Ginny.

Jake: Works for me.

Cole: Sure. Mia? This okay?

Mia: Yes. I expect popcorn and prizes.

Jake: lol

Alec: I’m in, too. Faith, you comin’?

She knew she was wearing a stupid grin, but couldn’t help it. They wanted her to join them. Were including her. Alec specifically called her out. Plus, the pier was something she could do without feeling like the oddball. She thumbed out a response.

I’ll be there.

Lacey: Good. It’s settled. 7? Hey, Jake. I’m getting my toenails painted a naughty shade of red.

Alec: And on that note, I’m out. Bye.

Mia laughed from the next seat. “What color are you getting, Faith?”

“I don’t know.” A “naughty shade of red” didn’t suit her personality. Was nail polish supposed to match your personality? She glanced at the selections in the tray. There was a light iridescent blue that drew her. “This one.”

“I like that color.” Mia peeked at Lacey, who was still texting away. Her gaze settled back on Faith. “It took me a while to get used to all this, too,” she whispered. “I grew up wondering what Ginny and I were going to eat from one day to the next. But Cole and Lacey aren’t the flaunt-their-money type. They both donate to charity. And Alec and Jake came from a blue-collar family. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around us.”

These people had barely known her a week and had already accepted her into their group. Meanwhile, her parents hadn’t initiated a conversation once. Faith took a sip of champagne to clear the lump in her throat. The bubbles tickled going down and caused a warmth in her belly.

“Thanks, Mia.”

Her cell chimed. Seeing Alec’s name on her phone shouldn’t make her heart pound and her stomach flutter. Yet it did.

Alec: What color polish are you getting?

She laughed at the absurd question and typed out her response.

Blue.

Alec: Like your ocean. Catch you tomorrow.

She bit the inside of her cheek.
Her ocean
. What did he mean by that?

“Is there something going on between you and Alec?”

Faith’s head whipped up to find Mia staring at her, amusement crinkling her eyes.

“With Alec? No.”

“Uh-huh. That’s why you’re smiling?”

Was she? Oh boy. “I’ve been trying to help him with his writer’s block. That’s all.”

The acrid scent of polish filled her nose as the attendant began painting her nails. The color was nearly sheer, hinting at a bluish color rather than throwing it in her face. She liked the look it gave her feet when she moved, the way it caught the light.

“You know it would be okay if something
was
going on with Alec. He’s pretty sexy, if you ask me. A nice guy, too.”

As if Alec Winston, a bestselling author who was too handsome for his own good, would be interested in her. Even if the sky fell and it were to happen, how could that possibly last? He’d be going back to New York in a couple months.

Faith shook her head. Why was she even thinking like this?

Lacey put her phone away and examined her feet. “Cute.” She swiveled to face Faith. “You ready for that haircut?”

By the time Faith settled into bed that night with a book and a cup of steaming chamomile, she had a slightly shorter haircut with layers, toenail polish she couldn’t stop admiring the look of, and five new contacts in her phone.

And plans for Friday night.