All the Broken Pieces (25 page)

He’s so freaking cute. And he’s smart, and he makes me feel amazing, and I love being with him. And I just love him.

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she stepped in for a kiss. But her bag bumped into the album and it fell to the floor. “Oops. Looks like I need to work on my smooth moves,” she joked.

“Well, you’ve always been a little clumsy.”

She smacked his chest with the back of her hand. “You better watch it, or I won’t ever finish the move I was working on.” She crouched down to pick up the album. The photo of Mom pregnant caught her attention. Down at the bottom right corner were red numbers. The date the photo was taken.

Her blood ran cold as she stared at it.

She did the math again, sure there had to be a mistake. But it wasn’t like it was hard math to do.

“Earth to Liv,” Spencer said. “You okay down there?”

Her eyes remained fixed on that date. “Ten. My mom can’t be pregnant with me in this picture, because that would make me ten years old. Which means…”

Terror gripped her heart.
Elizabeth. That would be about the right age for her. And when Mom had looked at the picture, she’d gotten choked up.

What if Elizabeth was with me when the car wrecked?

The scenario unfolded in her mind. Driving drunk with her sister. Who wasn’t here anymore. She lifted her hands to her mouth, praying for it to not be true, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense.

She picked up the book and tapped the picture. “This proves that my parents are lying to me. You remember how I told you I thought I remembered a sister named Elizabeth? This picture means she might be real. And if she is, I’ve got to know. There has to be an article about my crash, or a police report, or something. Some way of figuring out what happened.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know if it’s a good i—”

“I need to know what happened, Spencer.” She locked eyes with him, and her voice shook with emotion. “Please help me.”

He studied her for a moment. Finally, he extended his hand to her. “Come on, then.”

37

Spencer led Liv into a small room with a packed bookshelf, big gray filing cabinet, and paper-covered computer desk tucked in the corner. He moved the mouse, and the computer screen lit up. Another couple clicks and the Internet browser opened. “Okay, we’re online.”

He grabbed the chair in the corner and set it to the left of the computer desk. “Have a seat.” Then he entered information into a search engine. “I’m not exactly sure what to look for, so this might take a while.”

She scooted closer to him. “Thanks. For helping me with this.”

He turned to her, and the tenderness in his eyes made her heart squeeze. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but you could talk me into pretty much anything.”

She brushed his hair off his face, gave him a quick kiss, then rested her head on his shoulder.

…

The search was taking forever, and she was about ready to call it off for the day. Needing to stretch her legs, she headed to the kitchen for water. When she stepped back into the office, two glasses in hand, Spencer leaned closer to the screen. “No way…”

Liv set the glasses on a side table. “What?”

He clicked the mouse, exited the screen he was on, and turned away from the computer. “It’s nothing.” He stood, keeping his body between her and the screen. “It’s getting late, and my dad and Dana will probably be home soon. We’ll have to try some other time.”

“I can tell you’re lying.” She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “What is it? Tell me.”

“Liv…” He sighed. “It’s big. Huge. It might ruin everything.” He squeezed her shoulder, imploring her with his eyes. “Can’t you just trust me on this?”

“I trust you. But I need to know.” She stepped past him.

His arms came around her, and he gripped her wrist as her hand closed on the mouse. “Just wait. Sleep on it.”

She jerked her arm out of his grasp and pulled up the history. It was a jumbled mess, so she set it to sort by order visited and scrolled to the bottom. She clicked on the last link.

Spencer moved in front of the computer, blocking her view. “Let me look at it tonight, make sure it’s got all the facts, then I’ll show it to you tomorrow, I promise.”

Teeth clenched, she said, “Move.”

“Just—”

“I need to know what the hell’s going on. Now, move.” Keeping her eyes on his, she said, “Please.”

He threw up his arms and got out of the way.

Liv stared at the picture.

Her picture.

Missing, it said across the top. Her knees felt like they were about to give way. She flopped into the computer chair. This couldn’t be right. This wasn’t the secret she’d been thinking. “Maybe this girl just looks like me,” she whispered. But as she read more about Vivienne Clark, she learned that she had a sister named Elizabeth. A sister who was ten years old.

At the bottom, there was an added plea from the family, mentioning the fact that Vivienne—or Viv, as the family referred to her in the article—had a heart condition and needed medication.

“It’s weird, too,” Spencer said, leaning over her and scrolling down. “This girl went missing on the same day.”

Lindsay Rogers was blond. Liv couldn’t even try to focus on the words next to her picture. She looked exactly like the cheerleader from her dreams.

“According to her boyfriend, he tried to stop her from leaving a party because she was drunk, but she wouldn’t listen to him. Her mom said that she never showed up at home, and no one has seen her since.”

Liv scanned through the information Spencer had summed up. Then she got to the part about Lindsay working at Táo’s Chinese Restaurant and her shaking hand sent the cursor bouncing wildly across the screen.

She clicked back to the picture of Vivienne Clark.

The picture of what she saw when she looked in a mirror.

Spencer put his hand on her shoulder. “You know, you’re right. That just looks like you. I’m sure there’s a good explanation.”

“It doesn’t make any sense,” she choked out, her mind spinning as everything she thought she knew unraveled. “One…but both? How could it? What…?” Her breath came out in quick, shallow gasps. “Not the blond cheerleader.”

What the boyfriend had said about the party, the way the girls looked, it was all too much. Too confusing. The words onscreen blurred together as her mind reached to find a logical explanation that wasn’t there.

“You think you knew the blond girl?”

“I think…I…” The room spun, images bleeding in and out of focus. All the dreams and visions from two very different girls. The conflicting voices in her head.

Liv saw the headlights coming at her; she saw the blood soaking her shirt, leaving large drops on her jeans, and thinking she was going to die. Searing pain shot through her head, making it feel like it was splitting in two.

Splitting in two.

In the back of her mind, she heard Dad saying he and Mom had come across the wreck. He’d talked about all the blood, then said he and Mom had done the best they could with their skills.

I didn’t wake up in a hospital.
She’d woken in a bedroom, hooked up to medical equipment with Mom looking over her.

What did they do to me?
She thought of the pink line on her chest, then lifted her fingers to where staples used to be.
Who am I?

What
am I?

“You think…what?” Spencer asked.

“I can’t even say it out loud. Because you’ll never believe me. Because I don’t even know if
I
believe me.”

38

Liv ran up the stairs, threw open her closet, and started shoving clothes into a suitcase.

Mom poked her head in. “Olivia, darling, what are you doing?”

Ignoring the question, she threw her pajamas onto the growing pile of clothes and grabbed her toothbrush from the bathroom, adding it to the rest of her supplies.

“Young lady, you tell me what’s going on this instant.”

“You don’t get to know!
I
didn’t get to know, and now you can see how you like it!” The suitcase fastened with a
click
. She heaved it off the bed and headed for the door.

Mom grabbed her arm as she tried to step into the hall.

“I know, Mom,” Liv said, jerking free. “I saw pictures of two missing girls. One looks exactly like me, and the other—well, the other has been showing up in my dreams. I’m still working out all the details, but I know it means you’re a liar.”

Mom’s eyes widened; her mouth dropped open. “It’s…I…I can explain.”

“I can’t believe anything you say.” She rushed past Mom, down the stairs, and charged out the front door, slamming it behind her. Her chest felt like it was on fire as she flung open the back door of Spencer’s car and threw her suitcase on the seat.

Mom stepped out on the porch, tears streaming down her face. “Olivia, please wait. I can explain.”

Liv got into the car and pulled the door closed.

Spencer’s attention was on the doorway. “Are you sure we shouldn’t—?”

“Just go.” The tears she’d been trying to hold back broke free. “Please. Just go.” She buried her head in her hands as Spencer turned the car around and drove away.

…

The noise of the sliding glass door sounded loud in the quiet.

Liv took the can of root beer Spencer extended to her. Now that the sun had gone down, there was a chill in the air. It was about the only time she remembered feeling cold since they’d moved here. Or maybe the cold was more about what she’d found out earlier today.

Spencer sat next to her on the patio swing. “My mom just got off the phone with yours. She and your dad were going to come over—”

Liv whipped her head toward him.

“But my mom convinced them to give you some space. You can stay here with us tonight.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. No way could she face them now.
I don’t know if I can even look at them ever again.

She shivered and Spencer put his arm around her. “I’d ask if you’re okay, but I know that’s a stupid question.”

With his arm around her, she did feel better. And warmer. If only she could shut off her thoughts for a while. “Tell me something to get my mind off of it all.”

Spencer took a swig of his soda, then stared at the top of his can for a moment. “Mr. Harmsen and I finished building the plane today.”

“You built a plane?”

“One of those model planes.”

“With Mr. Harmsen? Isn’t he the school counselor?”

“Yeah.”

“Why’d you build a plane with him?”

Spencer gave her a sidelong glance. “The long or the short version?”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “The longer the better.”

“Well, after my dad left and I started getting into trouble, my mom decided I should talk to someone. Of course, I didn’t want to, but Mom made it clear it wasn’t really an optional thing. So I sat through a few sessions with Mr. Harmsen. He had this huge model airplane, and when I asked him about it, he talked about the hours he’d spent putting it together, painting it and getting it to look just right. Then he asked what I thought.”

Spencer shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Remember, this was back when I was a jerk. And I felt so damn angry all the time. About everything. Anyway, I walked over to his plane, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it. I told him I thought his sessions were as big a waste of time as building that plane was. Then I walked out.

“I felt awful just after—even in my jerk phase, I knew I’d crossed a line. So when school started up this semester, we worked out a deal. Three days a week we’d work on building a new plane, no talk of anything else, but two of the days, we’d talk about the serious stuff. After what happened at the end of the year, we talk about Peter a lot.” Winding his fingers through her hair, Spencer shook his head. “I still can’t believe you want to be with me. Or did that story change your mind?”

“I wish you’d stop being so hard on yourself. In fact, if you think about it, you and I probably never would’ve started talking if you hadn’t stayed after school to meet with him.”

“If that’s supposed to make me feel better, it worked.” He kissed her cheek. “I know you don’t think I’ll believe you, or that I won’t understand, but I’ve found that sometimes talking things out really does help.”

Looking up at the starry night, she wondered how much to tell him. “You know how I told you that I have these dreams that feel more like memories?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, sometimes when I dream, I look different. I’m blond. And a cheerleader. Like the other missing girl.” She glanced at him to gauge his reaction. He wasn’t looking at her like she was crazy; he looked more amused than anything. “What’s with the face?”

“I’m just picturing you in a cheerleader uniform.”

Liv bumped him with her shoulder. “This is serious stuff.”

Using the arm he had around her, Spencer pulled her closer. “I am serious. You’d look cute in a cheerleading uniform.”

She shook her head, but she couldn’t help smiling.

“Okay, no more jokes. I just couldn’t stand how sad you looked.” His fingers stroked the back of her neck. “So, what do you think it all means?”

She took a deep breath and blew it out. “Isn’t that the million-dollar question.”

…

Liv kissed Spencer good night, changed into her pajamas, and crept into Katie’s room. She lay down on the air mattress Lori had set up for her and stared at the plastic, glow-in-the-dark stars on Katie’s ceiling.

Katie rolled over in her bed, the dim glow of her alarm clock lighting her face. “It’s too bad we didn’t have a chance to do the normal sleepover stuff. Next time, we’ll need to get a girly movie.”

“You’re on.” As Liv looked at Katie, she was reminded once again of Elizabeth. “Did I ever tell you about a girl your age I knew named Elizabeth?”

Katie shook her head. “Tell me about her.”

“I distracted her parents so she could hide her peas.”

“I like peas, but zucchini, ugh, that stuff is disgusting. I shudder. It’s like my throat shuts down to try to keep it away.”

Liv smiled.
No wonder I think of Elizabeth whenever I’m around Katie. They really are so much alike.

Katie’s face dropped and she looked like she was about to cry. “Spencer’s so much better when you’re here, then Mom’s better, and you’re so nice to me, and I like you so much, and…” She trained those big eyes on her, and when she spoke, her voice squeaked. “Please don’t move away.”

Liv’s chest constricted. “I like you, too, and obviously I’m crazy about your brother.” The thought of leaving made her want to cry. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and tried to give Katie a reassuring smile. “I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

But today she’d found out that what you plan and what happens aren’t even close to the same thing.

…

“I don’t want to lie,” Elizabeth said.

Liv turned toward her sister, who was sitting on her Hello Kitty comforter, a scowl on her face. Talk about not giving an inch.

All her life, she’d followed the rules and stood up for what she believed in. For one night she wanted to be the girl who broke free and did whatever she felt like without thinking about the consequences. She wanted to be the girl who went to a party to meet a guy.

“Just tell them I had to pick up a book from the library.” Liv had already checked one out so she could sell her cover story if she had to. “I’ll be back in an hour and a half, two tops.”

“I can’t believe you’re friends with Jackie again, even after how crappy she treated you. Mom and Dad were right. That girl’s bad news.”

“Don’t even start. Friendships in high school are complicated. You’re way too young to understand.”

“But not too young to have to lie for you.” Elizabeth crossed her arms.

“Hey, I lie for you all the time. You want me to tell Mom that you’re not really eating your peas?”

“That’s not the same thing. This isn’t disgusting vegetables; this is you sneaking out of the house when you’re supposed to be taking care of me. I know I said I don’t need a babysitter, but I don’t want to be all alone in the house. Besides, you promised we’d watch a movie.”

Liv tugged on her black Converse shoes and bent over to tie the laces.

The party was a big one, and even though Mom and Dad had said she couldn’t go, she’d decided to swing by, just for an hour. Mostly because that’s where Andrew would be. Jackie had apologized to her a couple of days ago. It wasn’t like it was spontaneous—Jackie was now fighting with her other group of friends. But still, Jackie hated to apologize and she’d done it anyway. She even confessed she was jealous because Andrew was into Liv. At first she didn’t know whether to believe that, but Andrew had actually talked to her earlier today, and he’d told her she should come find him at the party. He wasn’t like other boys. Yes, he was cute, but he was smart, too.

When Liv stood, Elizabeth was still frowning, giving her that puppy-dog, don’t-leave-me face.

“Stop being a baby.” Liv misted on some perfume. “I’ll be back before your movie’s even over.”

Elizabeth walked to the dresser and took something off it. The jeweled red bow of her Hello Kitty keychain caught the light as she held it out to her. “It’s my lucky keychain. I want you to take it tonight.”

“If this is supposed to make me feel guilty—”

Elizabeth grabbed the key ring out of Liv’s hand and clipped the keychain on. “Good luck with Andrew. Don’t trust Jackie too much.”

Liv hugged her sister. “You’re the best. I’ll lock up, and I’ll be back soon. Everything will be fine, you’ll see.”

She hurried out of the house, fired up her car, and buzzed down the road, glancing at the map on her phone for guidance. With every turn, the smaller and more abandoned the roads got until she ended up in the middle of nowhere. She lifted the phone again, trying to figure out where she’d taken the wrong turn.

Then she decided she was being punished for leaving Elizabeth.
I get it, okay. I’m going back home.

Liv turned the car around, anxious to get back to Elizabeth and tell her how sorry she was for leaving her. They’d paint their nails and she’d even let Elizabeth play in her makeup. To hell with Jackie. And Andrew and his adorable dimples.

She turned up her Flyleaf CD and moved closer to the steering wheel, straining to see through the rain. What’s…?

A dark object was in the road.

Is that a…?

The headlights weren’t on, and she could just make out the dark outline of the car. It was coming fast. Coming straight for her. She slammed on her brakes, but with the mud, she kept sliding.

The airbag went off.

Metal scraped against metal.

The side of the car slammed against something.

From the corner of her eye, she saw a glimmer of red as light bounced off the swinging Hello Kitty keychain.

Elizabeth.

Faint and distant, mixed in with the sound of rain pounding metal, her CD played on.

Blood poured down, soaking her shirt, leaving large drops on her jeans. Lifting her head was impossible. Everything hurt.

You’re going to die.

…

Liv brought her shaking hands to her face. When she pulled them away, she expected them to be covered in blood, but they were clean. She sat up, trying to catch her breath.

Moonlight spilled in through the window, illuminating Katie’s sleeping form, reminding her that she wasn’t in her own bed. That everything was wrong.

The car that hit her was the blond cheerleader’s—Lindsay’s. Liv’s chest burned. She pulled her shirt away from her skin and peered down at her scar. Her heart beat faster, like it was confirming her thoughts. Proving how strong and healthy it was now.

It was her heart.

No wonder she’s been haunting me.
Tears blurred her vision. She stared out the window at the moon, but it no longer looked like hope. It looked faceless and lost, smothered in all the dark clouds.

Just like her.

Smothered. Choking. Fading.

Slipping.

Falling.

Drowning.

As quietly as she could, she slipped off the covers and tiptoed out of the room. She padded to the kitchen, got a glass from the cupboard, and filled it with milk.

Lori walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light. “Oh! I thought I heard someone.”

“I’m sorry,” Liv said, swiping tears off her cheeks. “I just…I woke up and needed a drink.”

“That’s fine. You’re welcome to anything. In fact, why don’t you have a seat and I’ll see if I can find some cookies.”

Liv pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table while Lori rummaged through the cupboard. Lori took a couple chocolate chip cookies out of a plastic package and offered them to her. “Thanks,” she said, grabbing one.

For a moment, they sat and ate their cookies in silence.

“Your mom called. More than once, actually.”

Liv’s chest tightened. Even after everything she’d found out today—even though it didn’t make sense—she still wanted to be wrapped in Mom’s arms, with Mom telling her it would all be okay.

“She’s really worried about you,” Lori said. “Both of your parents are.”

Liv searched for a response, but tears lodged in her throat, and she didn’t know what to say, anyway.

“They love you. Come what may, through the good and the bad, parents love their children.”