All You Wanted to Know About Sex (10 page)

Oral Sex

Using of mouth and tongue to kiss, lick or suck partner’s genitals is called oral sex. Both men and women can become sexually aroused and have orgasm in this way. The various types of oral sex include kissing, sucking, biting, licking, exploring the partner’s genital organs and erogenous zones with the tongue. A few even swallow the partner’s sexual secretion.

When a man has his penis kissed, licked or sucked by a woman or someone is called
fellatio
. In Hindu manuals, it is called “playing the flute”.

When a man kisses, licks or sucks a woman’s genitals it is known as
cunnilingus
.

69-Position

When both partners want to lick each other at the same time, they often adopt a position where each is coiled head to tail hence the term
Soixante neul
—a French term for 69 position. In this position
cunnilingus
and
fellatio
is performed simultaneously. It is also called
leep-de-leep
.

Frigidity

Frigidity means sexual unresponsiveness particularly in women. In medical parlance it is also known as orgastic incompetence.

In fact, this malady varies in three stages:

(a) A woman enjoys coitus but does not reach her orgasm.

(b) The woman of this category may be indifferent to sexual intercourse and she may indulge in as a part of her duty. She has no dislike for it either, but she does not enjoy it.

(c) The woman may have positive dislike for sexual intercourse and her body may “freeze” at the possibility of having it.

There are many causes for this disorder, some are psychic and some physical. Male ignorance about the subtle art of foreplay often makes a woman frigid. If the frigidity has been caused by some physical deficiency, the medical treatment is the only answer. But if the cause lies in the mind or is psychic, it is to be treated by a psychiatrist.

Vaginismus

When the muscles in woman’s vagina tighten up during sexual intercourse, making it difficult for the man’s penis to get into the vagina is called vaginimus. It is quite rare. A woman who has this problem should see her doctor.

Precautions to be taken During the First Night

In India, marriage is regarded as sacrosanct. It is performed with ceremony and religious rites. It is regarded as a lifelong relation and not merely a contract as is done in the west. The first-night sexual relations are named as
Suhag Raat
. This is first meeting of the married couple in privacy. It lays the foundation of the future sexual relations. The first night is supposed to be the most important event in the life of the newly married couple.

First night experience is filled with more significance for the girl than for the boy, but for both it is regarded as a religious rite in many countries. The boy has usually been taught the art of love making by his friends and elders, but for the girl the first experience of intercourse is regarded as once in a lifetime event. Therefore the husband should initiate his wife into sex gently and in the spirit of service.

In many races, religions or social rituals postponement of first intercourse for two or three days after the ceremony is prescribed. The husband should keep himself under control during the love play before the first sexual union. The prelude, with all its tender affection and admiration, kisses, embraces, gentle caresses should be given the main role. The more intensively erotic and definite stimulation should be sparingly applied.

To demand that the timid bride should yield her body suddenly and completely to the gaze of even the most beloved man, would be unreasonable and like not caring about the feelings of the bride. No woman should be expected to remove all her clothes on first night. Even to show his own erect penis to her unaccustomed eyes, would only terrify her. But every bride is not so shy and chaste.

At first night try to be natural. Talk about her hobbies, interest, subjects of choice and acquaint each other with your familial details. Never rush to consummate the marriage by physical union. Having talked and known each other, make physical advances with all its tender affection and admiration, kisses, embraces, gentle caresses should be given the main role. If you like any part of her body express your admiration by kissing that part. The women open up very gradually because a bold bride is believed to be a woman of easy virtue. The groom should be sensitive enough to judge his bride’s reaction by her facial expression and gestures. Gradually arouse her sexual feelings to move towards the desired goal.

The first most important work is the defloration or the rupture of the hymen. This is located at the opening to the vagina. In fact it makes the boundry between the external and part of the genitals which develop from the skin and the internal structures of the sexual reproductive system. In some women the hymen may be more or less retained as a perforated, soft sheet of the skin, in some girls this tissue present during infancy seems to dissolve with growth, so that only slight remnants are seen as soft tags around the vaginal entrance.

In some cases the hymen is usually thick or strong. Forceful entry of a penis will overcome the obstruction. Though the woman may feel some discomfort. In rare cases, it may be necessary to consult a physician, who can snip open the hymen to allow access.

Various cultures foster the myth that all first instances of hymenal penetration are painful and show bleeding. To accomodate these expectations, women often feign pain and discomfort; To ensure the presence of blood stains; a woman or her mother may see to it that there is some blood available, perhaps from a freshly killed chicken.

In some women the pain caused by hymen rupture interferes with the enjoyment of first coitus. But there is not always pain or even discomfort.

A newly-wed bride feels very shy and dreadful. The victory of desire over dread is often very slow and difficult. She fears of the impending pain from her torn hymen. It exists in the highest degree in the ignorant girls who know nothing about coitus or the hymental membrane. So, defloration means the beginning of the most important changes and events in a woman’s life. It is the beginning of active sexual functions, with all their results, duties and dangers. In any case whether this reluctant fear be unconscious, subconscious or conscious, it should get due recognition and respect.

If the psychic preparation of the bride is incomplete, all attemps at rupture of the hymen must be deferred. The man should not begin his marriage with a rape. The woman’s loss of blood from the small tears in the hymen is usually slight and soon ceases. But in exceptional cases it lasts longer and is profuse. The bride should then lie still on her back with closed legs and avoid all contact with the wound. The bleeding will stop itself. Do not dab or wipe.

At the time of intercourse if the bride does not attain full lubricant secretion to make the passage of the penis easy, an artificial lubricant should be used and applied directly to the vulva. She should be gently explained that it is meant to avoid hurting her. Then she will readily permit this, and the suggestion of consideration and care will appeal to her.

If the wife is ignorant, she must be taught, not only how to behave in coitus, but how and what to feel in this unique act; the beginning of married life is a school and an apprenticeship for her and the teacher is none other than her husband.

Sexual Awakening

The woman’s sexual awakening must be gradual. It must advance step by step. The variation of attitude and positions are advanced instruction and belong to later stage.

Sexual harmony in activity is a real psychic panacea. It develops all the latent strength and sweetness of a woman’s character, ripens her judgement, gives her serenity and poise.

When the woman has regular intercourse wherein full absorption of the semen takes place, the woman shows improved general and mammary development. Each such satisfactory erotic experience revives and refreshes the healthy woman throughout her soul and body.

The amount of stimulation a woman is able to receive and relief she is able to experience, depends upon her constitution, her temperament, her state of health, her psychic attitude especially on other causes of fatigue and finally on general extraneous conditions.

The sexual vigour, efficiency of the healthy, erotically awakened woman is very great, greater indeed than the potency of the average man.

Genital Classification

The Hindu treatises
Kama Sutra
and
Ananga Ranga
have given the following genital classification.

The three types of penises
(Ungarn)
are:

i
. The
hare type
upto 13 cm long when fully erect.

ii
. The
bull type
upto 18 cm long when fully erect.

iii
. The
donkey type
upto 25 cm long when fully erect.

The three types of vagina
(Yoni)
are:

i
. The
deer type
upto 13 cm deep.

ii
. The
mare type
upto 18 cm deep.

iii
. The
elephant type
upto 25 cm deep.

Types of Females

Indian love manuals mainly describe four female types:

i
. The heavenly lotus woman is beautiful, soft, and full breasted and likes to make love in the daytime. They are known as
Padmini
.

ii
. The artistic type woman is called
Chakrani
. She is also heavenly, beautiful and full breasted. She is proficient in the 64 arts and like to make love at night.

iii
. The conch woman
Shankhni
emanates from the earthly rather than the heavenly realm. She has a large body but small breasts and is subject to sudden fits of amorous passion.

iv
. The elephant type
Hastini
woman is short, stout, and slow in movement and likes prolonged love making under any and all circumstances.

Hot Spots in Women

Sexually sensitive areas are called Hot Spots. Every man should know the names of hot spots in women.

The breast

There are women whose nipples are so sensitive that they can reach orgasm when their nipples are merely caressed. Many women need simultaneous breast stimulation during the height of climatic sensation. But don’t pinch or squeeze. Ask her how she likes her nipples stimulated and her breasts touched.

The pubic area

This area is also called
The Mons
and is soft and cushiony. This refers to the outside frontal part of the genitalia that is visible when a woman is in the nude.

The clitoris

The clitoris is important as a trigger in arousal and as a means toward heightening orgasmic feeling.

The outer and inner labia

The outer labia extends from the pubic area and is courser in texture than the inner labia. The inner labia extend from the clitoral hood. This tissue is highly sensitive when stroked and help in the transition from clitoral to vaginal excitation and orgasmic centering.

The vaginal opening

The first third of the entrance to the vagina is generously endowed with nerve endings. This area is also very sensitive.

The G-spot

The G-Spot is described as an area, 2 to 4 cm across, located about two fingers joint deep to the vaginal entrance. Some researchers claim that a G-Spot is very sensitive area. Its sensitivity to stimulation was first noted by the physician Grafenberg.

Hot Spots in Men

There is a male equivalent to the woman’s G-Spot. Men have two
Hot Spots
. One is a nerve at the back of the penis, where the glans (head) is divided. There is also a super sensitive spot between the back of the testicles and the anal opening.

There is a deep nerve in that area which accents the degree of orgasmic sensation. If the partner will press this spot as he is about to reach a peak of sensation, he will escalate ecstasy to its extreme.

Love Postures

A large number of coital or intercourse positions are described and illustrated in Hindu love manuals like the 4th century
Kama Sutra
and later texts such as
Ananga Ranga
.