All You Wanted to Know About Sex (13 page)

Unfortunately predictability is poor since most women have highly irregular menstrual cycles.

Condoms

A condom is a thin rubber sheath which unrolls to fit over a man’s erect penis. It can be used during sexual intercourse between a man and woman to help prevent the woman from becoming pregnant and lower the risk of sexually transmitted infection. It is also useful in premature ejaculation because it usually slows up the orgasm. A condom must be put on before the penis touches the vaginal area. A condom can only be used once. After it has been used, it should be wrapped in a tissue and put in a dustbin. They are available free from Family Planning Centres. It is the most widely used contraceptive device throughout the world.

Cervical Caps and Diaphragms

A diaphragm is a method of contraception for women. It is also called a cap or Dutch cap. It is a thin rubber dome with a bendy rim. It covers the cervix and works as a barrier stopping sperm from getting into the uterus and fertilizing an ovum. The woman puts the diaphragm in her vagina before having sexual intercourse. When it is in the right place, neither the man nor the woman can feel it. To prevent pregnancy, it is smeared with spermicide before putting it in. After intercourse it should remain there at least for six hours. She can then take it out, dry it and put it away until she needs to use it again. A physician or a trained nurse can help you to find the diaphragm of correct size and can fit it properly. It can be inserted some hours before coitus. It should not be left in place for more than 24 hours, neither it should be removed atleast six hours after coitus. It does not suit all women.

Creams, Foams, Jellies and Suppositories

These are chemical contraceptives that either kill sperm or make conditions inside the vagina hostile to their passage. Inserted with a finger or using a simple applicator, they are the only female birth control methods that do not require medical supervision. Many couples complain they interfere with sexual pleasure because they have to be inserted shortly before intercourse, and most of them taste bad, which makes oral sex unpleasant. They also provide extra lubrication and a degree of protection against certain type of veneral diseases.

Intra-Uterine Devices (IUD)

These are plastic or metal devices which are placed in the uterus and stay there for a few years. They come in many shapes—Rings, bows, Ts, Xs, and would probably work even if they looked like a mini spoon or toy battleship. The elongated S-shaped Lippes Loop is the standard device. Each shape has its pros and cons. Attempts to make the perfect IUD have now produced active IUDs with added copper or hormones.

An IUD reduces the likelihood of the zygote implanting itself in the uterus wall and make the intrauterine environment more hostile to sperm because foreign objects in the uterus prevent conception. It is easy to insert into the uterus, is cheap, does not interfere with body chemistry and can be left in place for long periods and forgotten about except for the occasional check. It is also easy to remove if pregnancy is desired.

For some women it is not suitable because it causes heavier than usual menstrual bleeding, occasional cramps and in a few cases interferes with sexual activity. There is also an increased risk of infection of the uterus or fallopian tubes.

THE IRREVERSIBLE METHODS OF BIRTH

Control Sterilisation

Rendering an individual incapable of reproduction is called sterilisation. It is a permanent method of contraception for both men and women. Male sterilisation is called
Vasectomy
. The female sterilisation is called
Tubectomy
.

Vasectomy

Vasectomy involves making two small cuts in the scrotum in order to snip the duct known as
Vas Def erens
on each side and tie off the cut ends, so that sperm cannot travel into the man’s urethra and out of his penis. After a man has been sterilised, and once his semen no longer contains sperm, he cannot make a woman pregnant. But he can still have erection, ejaculate and enjoy sex in the same way that he did before he was sterilised. A trained doctor can do this operation in ten to twenty minutes. After that, men are advised to take it easy and refrain from intercourse for several days but otherwise they can go back to work or continue with their usual routine within hours.

Since live sperms remain in the Vasa and urethra for some time after vasectomy contraception must continue to be used for atleast fifteen or so ejaculations or until the ejaculation is free of sperm. This operation is done under a local anaesthetic so there is no pain.

Tubectomy

Female sterilisation involves closing off both
Fallopian Tubes
so that
Ova
cannot travel into the uterus. This means that the woman cannot get pregnant. But she still has menstrual periods and can enjoy sex in the same way that she did before she was sterilised. She still ovulâtes normally, but the egg is absorbed by the body instead of being shed during the period. This operation is also very simple now.

Very occasionally, the sterilisation operation is not a success because the vas deferens or fallopian tubes rejoin.

Sterilisation should be regarded as a once and for all procedure. It is not reversible. Though it is safer procedure for men than women, yet more women are sterilised than men because it is the women that bear the brunt of pregnancy. Feelings of inadequacy or depression after sterilisation are not unusual. After all, fertility is a strong symbol of femininity and masculinity.

Researchers are now developing sterilisation techniques that do not involve surgery. Our government is encouraging such operations and offering a number of incentives as a part of birth control measures.

There is now such a wide array of family planning methods that most couples and individuals should be able to find at least one that meet their needs.

Sexual Potency

The ability of the male to achieve and maintain an erection, and to ejaculate to perform sexual intercourse is called sexual potency.

Even within normal limits, male sexual potency varies considerably from man to man. It depends on age, constitution, temperament, race, habits, practice, erotic influences, psychic influences and interests other than erotic in character, and many other circumstances.

There are both sexually weak men as well as sexual athletes. This special aptitude or deficiency has nothing to do with general physical weakness or vigour.

It is determined by the special glands secreting the sperm, or it may depend to some degree on the amount of fluid expelled on each occasion by the
Prostate Gland and Seminal Vesicles
.

Some men declare they can voluntarily retain or hold back a portion of their ejaculate, if they wish to follow the first coitus by a second, soon after. There is no exact knowledge of the causes. But there are perfectly healthy and normal men in their most vigorous years who can only execute coitus twice a week, and at the most in exceptional circumstances, once a day. There are others who can repeat the act three or four or more times in succession, or at very brief intervals during several days without any injury to their health and zest.

Sexual Incapacity

When more is demanded sexually from any man than he can perform, his body simply refuses. In spite of the most acute excitations, his discharge does not occur. This temporary and occasional apathy is quite normal, it is in contrast to the genuine impotence, which fails before quite moderate incitement and is distinctly morbid.

The occasional sexual incapacity of the healthy man is not only normal but beneficial. It is a natural self- defence of the organism against exactions and excesses.

If more is habitually expected, it damages a man’s general health. If further ejaculations are expected after the available supply has been spent, great efforts are needed from the brain and body to produce the state of tension necessary for the effective collaboration in the genital act.

Excessive sexual activity may cause slight pains across the loins, and more important diminished clarity and concentration in brain work. This harmful effect should be avoided, as it may quickly become obstinate, and possibly chronic.

Successive Acts

Two or even three successive acts of coitus can be of great advantage after a few or longer period of abstinence. After abstinence when intercourse is performed the man often ejaculates very soon not just enough to gratify the woman. In such cases coitus will give both partners relief. Nothing is more fatal to love than disappointment in sexual intercourse.

The first relative failure may be redeemed by a prompt repetition of communion. It should occur immediately or after an hour or so. It depends on man’s own potency, mutual inclination and on so many other factors.

Don’t recklessly habituate your wife to a degree of sexual frequency and intensity, which you may be quite unable to keep up, for any length of time. When once she is introduced to the maximum of sexual pleasure. You won’t be able to modify her desires when this maximum will no longer be available. It may destroy marital peace and happiness. It may cause chronic sexual over strain and fatigue on your own. This may reduce you to a mental and physical weakling, a neurotic.

Impotence

Impotence is a male sexual dysfunction characterised by inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for performance of sexual intercourse. It may also take the form of coitus without ejaculation, orgasm without pleasure, and lack of interest in sex.

The problem of impotence has become quite common. An estimated 10% of men are incapable of getting a firm penis no matter how physically or psychologically stimulated they become. As many as 50% of men experience impotence some of the time. In fact nearly all men struggle with impotence at least once in their lives.

When the first time a man suffers from impotence, he may become anxious and begin to question his manhood. The second time, his anxiety builds and what happened previously takes on greater emotional significance. The third bout of impotence may actually be brought on by recalling the prior incidents.

Repetition sets up a vicious cycle of Psychogenic caused by the mind’s impotence, which adds to any actual physical problem. Obviously treatment of impotence must begin with finding the cause.

If a man has sexual desires but fails to get or hold an erection when excited—with partner and from masturbation—and does not have erection during sleep or upon awakening, his problem has an organic or physical basis.

Functional Impotence

It is caused due to failure to achieve or maintain a penile erection because of circulatory or nervous system disorders, effects of aging, anxiety, stress or excessive use of Alcohol or Drugs including many medications taken for high blood pressure.

New Impotence

Impotence in young men that has been attributed due to a feeling of sexual insecurity as a result of women’s liberation. The liberated women are sexually more demanding. This demand is threatening some men and causing impotence in them.

Organic Impotence

It is the inability to achieve and maintain an erection because of any physical defects in the genitalia or the nervous system tract that controls erection.

Primary Impotence

It is extreme sexual impotence in which a man has never been able to achieve erection sufficient for intercourse.

Psychic Impotence

It is functional incapacity of the male to perform satisfactory sexual intercourse inspite of desire and intact genital organs. The condition may take the form of premature or retarded ejaculation, or of inability to achieve or maintain erection and expel seminal fluid. Psychologists trace this disorder to such factors as refusing to give up castration fears, unresolved attachments to the mother and association of sex with dirt and filth.