All You Wanted to Know About Sex (9 page)

Love Bite

Teeth also play an important role in erotic kisses. In both from mouth to mouth and on other parts of the body. Slight gentle bites or rather nips, which do not break the skin, express intensity of feelings. Both partners tend to use their teeth.

The normal love bite generally occurs at the more intense moments of erotic play or during coitus. The most favourite places in the man’s body is the shoulder, especially the left shoulder or the place just below the collar bone. In the woman it is the neck on the left side—and the flanks of the abdomen. This selection depends in part or relatively bodily stature and positions in coitus. Women are more addicted to love bites than men. The bite occurs during coitus or immediately afterwards. Love bites are a part of love play.

Love play not only expresses itself in kisses but in touches and manual caresses also in all degrees. From gentle titilation and lighter stroking with tips of the fingers, to gripping and pressing with the palm and finger together. It may be enunciated as a rule that the lightest touches are the most effective.

Erogenous Zones

The areas of the body which make us feel sexually aroused when they are touched, stroked or kissed are called Erogenous Zones. These include the lips,breasts, genitals including the clitoris, vagina, penis, mouth, anus, scrotum and urethra, the areas adjacent to the sex organs and other orifices of the body like nose, ears. But no two people are alike. We find that other parts of the body make may also arouse some people when touched. These parts may be caressed depending upon individual choice.

Breasts and Nipples

Breasts and nipples have high erotic value as these are very sensitive parts. The caresses of nipples and areola, the area of the skin which surrounds the nipples if aroused by tongue, finger or by definite suction give special delight. This effect is further enhanced when the nipples themselves have become erect.

When the nipples and the clitoris are simultaneously and delicately caressed, they mutually enhance each other’s stimulation. This double contact gives the maximum of possible pleasure outside coitus. Man’s nipples are also capable of receiving sexual sensations and becoming erect.

The breasts are erotically very attractive. The mere sight or outline of the bosom is somewhat exciting to men; and to touch this portion of the beloved woman’s body increases desire. Many women desire their breasts to be admired and fondled. Sometimes they themselves suggest. But generally speaking, the active man seems as a rule more excited by this kind of caresses than the woman who receives them.

Stimulating other Sensitive Parts

After gentle stroking and clasping of the accessory organs the hand should lightly and timidly brush the abdomen, the mons pubis, the inner side of the thighs. Alight swiftly on the sexual organ and pass at once to the other thigh.

Only by a circuitous route should it approach the holy place of sex and then tenderly seek admittance.

With these stimulations, the outer lips of the labia pout and part, revealing the clitoris and inner lips. The glands of the vestibule moisten the vulva with their special clear and slippery secretion. Thus the male’s caressing hand has no difficulty in finding the vulva, and continuing its gentle endearments. These will be chiefly bestowed on clitoris. This form of contact is actually delightful to the wife and increases her desire, and the man’s increases in response, as he feels her pleasure at touch.

This local stimulation, to the accompaniment of kisses and words of love, with a gradual increase in loudness of emotions, whose most effective instrument is the exchange of manipulation, continuing itself till the penis is introduced into the vagina.

With this, the finale of the love play is reached and merges into the beginning of the sexual intercourse.

The manipulation of the male organ by the female is not such an obvious and inevitable phase as the male plays a more active role than female. But a woman who has been fully initiated and possessed by the man she loves, invariably, almost automatically tries to touch and fondle his penis with her hand as soon as the erotic love play has stirred her sexually. She tries to find the most acutely sensitive spots, and applies what she knows.

It is important to know that in general, women require longer time and a wider range of stimulation than men do in order to attain to the culmination of pleasure or orgasm.

If the man receives too many powerful sensations before actual intercourse begins, then only a little more thrust is needed to bring about his ejaculation and orgasm. Local stimulation can only be occasionally necessary in the man’s case.

Local stimulation may be retarded and impaired by inadequate amount of mucus secretion in the wife, owing to the poor reaction of the vestibular glands to previous bodily or psychic excitations. If lubrication is not ample, any continuous friction of the vulva, clitoris, and vagina whether during manipulation or in coitus would cause pain instead of pleasure. It would make these tender tissues so irritable and inflamed that, if the contact persists, any sexual activity would become impossible. In such cases, in the absence of natural lubrication, it must be replaced by some artificial preparation which will make the parts slippery without in itself conducing to irritation.

The most suitable genital lubricants are herbal preparations which are soluble in water and contain very few irritants. They must resemble the natural secretion which they replace.

But the most simple and obvious substitute for the inadequate lubricant is the natural moisture of the
Salivary Glands
. It is always available. As it has the disadvantage of rapid evaporation, so, it must be applied to the vulva not once but repeatedly.

Genital Kiss

The genital kiss is particularly calculated to overcome frigidity and fear in hitherto inexperienced women who have had no erotic practice, and are as yet hardly capable of specific sexual desire.

The use and enjoyment of genital kiss depends wholly on inclination, temperament, individual sensibility and practice of both the partners.

Sexual Union

Sexual union or intercourse is the third act in the love drama. It begins with the insertion of the male penis into the female vagina, and reaches culmination in the ejaculation of semen into the vagina. And also in the approximately simultaneous orgasm or summit of enjoyment in both partners. Intercourse ends when the penis is removed from the vagina. The acme of pleasure is achieved through a succession of stroking or thrusting movements.

As the penis is rubbed and pressed against the folds and pads of the vaginal walls, the nerves of the male organ, especially of its tip or glans, become so stimulated that tension is finally relieved in the sympathetic-spinal reflex discharge or ejaculation. Concurrently the increasing and overwhelming sensory impressions received by the central cortex are felt as acute pleasure. These feelings increase in force till they attain their summit in a few seconds in which ejaculation begins.

When ejaculation occurs, the pleasurable sensations continue in the form of satisfied relaxation and relief. When it ceases, the orgasm or physical discharge is at end. The psychic and physical sensations die away, into gratification—a sort of drowsy bliss.

The After Play

The afterplay is as important as foreplay. After the intense physical exertion of love making and the release of orgasm, the body finds itself in a unique state which is highly conducive to meditation and mutual absorption during which the couple should caress each other, play, talk, laugh or meditate.

Relaxation after Coitus

Many men are in the habit of going to sleep immediately after coitus. Even those men who love their wives do this due to ignorance or negligence. They turn around and start snoring while their wives feel the slow ebb of sexual longing, and thus they deprive themselves of the most exquisite psychic and emotional experience.

After intercourse, the man should help his wife to gratify her pleasure. This can be done by saying “A word of love” a kiss, a tender touch, an embrace etc.

It will be enough for a loving wife to know that for him also all is not over at once. She herself desires nothing better than opportunity to prove the intense delight he has inspired in her.

Moderate Sexual Activities

As a rule, moderate sexual activity does not harm even diseased people. Normally, sexual communion has a most bénéficient effect on mind and body of both partners. Especially when drowsy relaxation is followed by a short rest. It need not be actual sleep. It develops a sensation of profound gratification, of mental and physical peace, balance, self-confidence, and power which is hardly attainable in such perfection through any other experience.

The most intense and delicate happiness which human beings can taste is tasted by those couples who truly love one another.

Sexual Intercourse causes Fatigue

Normal sexual intercourse causes fatigue not because of its muscular exertion, but due to demands on nerves. The sudden relaxation after such acute tension causes not merely fatigue, but even a certain exhaustion, such as we encounter in other psychic and mental processes. The higher the tension, the more abrupt its ebb, and the more extreme the fatigue. That is why it is said—”After coitus, all creatures are sad.” The sensation is drowsy, dreamy, and there is a need for sleep.

Orgasm in Women

The usual procedure is that when the man’s ejaculation begins, it sets in motion the woman’s acme of sensation in train at once. The time it takes for the sensation received by the woman to reach her central nervous system and translate itself into supreme delight is less than a second. Such is the marvellous rate of nervous transmission. In normal communion the man’s ejaculation gives the signal for the woman’s orgasm as well as his own. The final reflex in the woman may also receive signal from her realisation of the muscular contraction of the man’s orgasm.

A complete and satisfactory sexual intercourse must meet all the erotic demands of both body and soul, and should not in any way be neglected or impaired.

If the man thinks only of his own gratification as too often happens, it is stupid and cruel selfishness. Every erotic stimulation of the wife that does not terminate in orgasm on the woman’s part is an injury. Such repeated injuries may cause damage to both body and mind.

A considerable number of men use
Withdrawal Method
to prevent conception. The man rapidly draws back his penis from the vagina at the moment he feels the ejaculation commence. The ejaculation therefore occurs outside the vagina. To some extent he attains relief and relaxation but it is harmful to the woman. It encourages the woman to become cold and passive.

If withdrawal is unavoidable, the man should immediately caress and stimulate his partner by genital friction and manipulation.

Stimulation through Clitoris

The small size and high position of the clitoris have special significance in coitus. Sensations caused by stimulation of the vagina are quite distinctive and dissimilar from those due to stimulation of the clitoris. In both cases there is sexual pleasure. But the sensations differ as the flavour and aroma of two fine kinds of wine.

Factors that Influence Sensation of Pleasure

The sensation of pleasure depends on the following factors:

1. Whether the stimuli are localised mainly in the
   Frenulum Preputti
   , these are the sebacious glands on the corona of the glans and neck of the penis or the posterior rim of glans.
   

2. Whether the vagina is a trifle wider or narrower.
   

3. Whether it is smooth or delicately folded and crinkled.
   

4. Whether the sensitive entrance to vagina fits the shaft of the penis closely or hardly clasps it at all.
   

5. Whether the tip of the penis touches the portio vaginalis or can not reach it.
   

6. A certain correspondence or congruence of the sexual organs of the partners is essential for ideal intercourse.
   A normal penis can no more be perfectly stimulated by an unusually wide vulva and slack vagina than can an abnormally underdeveloped or inadequately erect penis attain satisfaction by it or provide it to normal female genitalia.
   

But if a strong desire for sexual satisfaction has been aroused, even minor stimuli certainly suffice to cause ejaculation and a relative culmination of pleasure or atleast relief is attained. The acutest stimuli are afforded by the reciprocal pressure and friction of the penis and the vulva and vagina. But the active agent is genital and coital friction of the man. The movements of the woman are as a rule when the partners are well adapted to one another. The woman may often share the specific coital movements, by bringing her pelvis forward at the right moment and then swinging it back, thus increasing both rhythm and friction.

The Role of Love in Coitus

Physical response is indispensable to sexual connection. Without it the man does not even get an erection. But a perfectly performed coitus demands from both partners a psycho-erotic approach which is only possible with true love. Only where love is, can the sexual pleasure be at its height, the orgasm ecstatic, the relief complete, and the drowsy and dreamy relaxation which follows a perfect peace.

The woman can begin the intercourse without special preparation but not the man. There are some changes that take place in the female genital organ during Coitus.

The flow of blood increases to the entire genital tissues. There is swelling and expansion of the bulbi the erection of the clitoris, the secretion of the vestibulary glands, the opening of the vulva, the contraction of the vaginal walls and the whole musculature of the pelvic floor. The mucus secretion flows into the vulva in preparing the vagina to receive the penis without pain.