All You Wanted to Know About Sex (8 page)

If the penis is in the woman’s vagina at this moment, even if neither partner experiences any sensation closer to orgasm, and sperms are deposited—no matter how few—can cause pregnancy.

For females, the inner two-thirds of the vagina balloons, while the outer third narrows to about half its excitement— phase in diameter. This helps the vaginal muscles both to grasp the penis more effectively and to produce a slight vacuum to suction out the seminal fluid.

The vagina, after all, has been fashioned by nature to act as a repository of the stuff for survival of the species. In the plateau phase the vaginal vault resembles a fennel, with the penis inserted in the narrow end and the sperms cradled in the wide end.

The inner lips of the woman’s labia minora now become a brighter red, as they become congested with blood. More fluid “sweats” through the vaginal walls for lubrication wetness is felt between the legs. Inside the uterus which had begun to elevate during the excitement phase, now elevates fully; the muscles contract in the abdomen, around the groin, and through the buttock region. Both the pulse and breathing are fast, and a “sex flush” appears on certain parts of the body.

The man too is nearing the end of the plateau phase better described as the pre-ejaculatory phase.

The Orgasm Phase

The peak of sexual excitement is called orgasm. In the orgasm phase, the heart rates elevate to anywhere between 140 to 180 beats per minute while the normal rate is around 70 per minute. The genital muscles of both partners go through a patterned series of contraction. In fact all the muscles of their bodies react much like the genitals by contracting, the buttocks tighten, eyes close, and skin tingles.

The belief that all women have multiple orgasm is a myth. While females are physically capable of multiple orgasm, they are not likely to experience them often and many may not even want them.

Another myth is that if intercourse is right it results in simultaneous orgasm. It is just a happy coincidence and not a result of the right technique. A woman may not climax at all—despite this, many women feel satisfying sexual pleasure from having a man’s penis inside them, and from watching how the man gets lost in the orgasmic experience.

An orgasm for a man occurs when the muscles around the urethra go through a number of rapid, involuntary contractions. These contractions begin at the back of the penis and in the genital area and move forward along the line of the urethra. Near the end of the plateau phase, semen that has gathered within the head of the penis is pumped to the top of the urethra to force the semen out through the penile opening.

Ejaculation is accompanied by three or four strong bursts each lasting about eight-tenths seconds, with each burst separated by same amount of time. On the average about three and a half millilitres of semen is ejaculated which is less than one teaspoon. The quantity diminishing with each repeated ejaculation. Men can enjoy another orgasm in about another half-hour. With the next orgasm, the muscular contractions feel pleasurable but are weaker and more irregular.

For the female, rhythmic contractions build at the outside of the vagina and move in waves down its length. The uterus contracts as well—the intensely pleasurable contractions of the vagina are repeated many times, depending on the amount of stimulation. Just before orgasm, there is feeling of tension lasting approximately three seconds as the small muscles of the pelvis surrounding the vagina and uterus contract. This is followed by a series of rhythmic muscular contractions every eight-tenths second. The series lasts for two to fifteen seconds. The feeling spreads from the outer third of the vagina backward and upward to the uterus. The average orgasm contains eight contractions. But there may be more or fewer depending on the quality of the foreplay and the current clitoral massage. A second orgasm can be experienced if excitement can be held at the plateau level. Some women can experience three or more orgasms subsequently.

The Resolution Phase

In the resolution phase, climax has come and gone, and a gradual muscular and physiological relaxation sets in for both partners. It takes about a half-hour for the various muscles to relax completely with the different swellings subsiding, skin discoloration or rashes disappearing, and organs returning to their normal sizes and positions in the body.

In men, first there is a rapid reduction in penis size. The organ shrinks to approximately 50% of its erect size during resolution phase. With the elapse of additional time, it slowly reduces to its normal length and breadth.

If ejaculation did not occur, the great amount of blood in the pelvic region will take more time to dissipate. In this case the blood will dribble out of the congested blood vessels and slowly return to the general circulation of sensation of pressure in the testes, scrotum, perineum and penis will be annoying for a time. This is the discomfort known as
Blue Balls
.

If it is allowed to happen repeatedly, blue balls will jeopardise the health of the prostate. Ejaculation results in immediate release of the tension and blood vessels engorgement in the pelvic region. Ejaculation is quite healthy.

In a woman, the nipples return to normal in the resolution phase. The excess blood drains from the vaginal lips, with the colour of the genitals returning to normal. The muscle spasm and nervous tension subside, and a great peacefulness is felt. Even so, women can easily go from the resolution to the plateau level again with some additional stimulation. Another orgasm can be reached without the waiting period necessary for males.

Orgasm allows the sudden release of blood from the pelvic blood vessels and of nerves from their heightened functioning; without this release, the return to normal takes longer.

Difference in Sexual Response Cycle

Some people prefer to prolong the arousal phase, others the plateau, some find the end of the resolution more satisfying than the tension of plateau phase or the brevity of the orgasm. For many women, physical and emotional satisfaction does not seem to be closely linked with orgasm. Coitus can be deeply satisfying even if orgasm does not occur. They enjoy pleasure from the warmth, the trust and sharing. Moreover people have different temperaments and different levels of knowledge about sex.

Normal Sexual Intercourse

Normal sexual intercourse is that which takes place between two sexually mature individuals of opposite sex. It excludes cruelty; and the use of artificial means of producing voluptious sensations. It aims directly or indirectly at the consummation of sexual satisfaction, and having achieved a certain degree of stimulation, concludes with the ejaculation or emission of the semen into the vagina at the culmination of orgasm of both partners.

Normal Sexual Intercouse

When a man has sexual intercourse, his penis must be erected. For this to happen, he needs to be sexually aroused. It is possible for a woman to have sexual intercourse without being aroused. But in that case she may not enjoy it and it may be uncomfortable because the inside of her vagina would be dry.

When a man and woman have sexual intercourse, the man slides his penis inside the woman’s vagina. The couple then move rhythmically together so that his penis slides up and down inside her vagina. This builds up sexual excitement until one or both of them reach orgasm. When a man has orgasm, semen spurts out of his penis. This is called ejaculation. Women do not ejaculate. Both for men and women, orgasms can be quite strong or they can be just some physical feelings in body and mind.

Tantric Way of Sexual Intercourse

A tantric believes in the transcendential power of love. Tantric love rites are Hindu sexual rites in which there is gradual progression of physical and spiritual activities culminating in orgasm.

The rite begins with the enhancement of the environment with flowers, fruit, incense, music, and candle or
deepak
light. Then comes oiling and massaging each other. Then comes bathing. Bathing is followed by meditation and
pranayama
(alternate nostril breathing known as
Nadi-Shuddhi)
. Next cames humming a
mantra
during which both partners envisage themselves as
Shiva
and
Shakti
, the supreme couple. The woman then places herself to the right of the man, and the man proceeds to kiss and stroke her entire body, from toes to head and back again. She then slowly arouses her male partner with her hands and lips in a similar order. Finally the woman moves to the left of the man for the last stage of sexual fulfilment, in which various prearranged intercourse positions are employed until each of them experiences the transcendetal power of love during the climex.

Therapeutic Love Making

It refers to oriental sexual practices based on the Taoist and Tantric doctrine which propagate that specific coital postures and rhythms can have a healing effect by enabling the body to correct imbalances, for example, some positions enhance circulation of the blood, while others strengthen the bones, rest the spirit, increase the production of marrow, or adjust the whole system. Each of these benefits is believed to be achieved not only by its specific love posture but by a specific number of strokes of love by the man, as well as a specific amount of daily practice.

Ideal Sexual Intercourse

An ideal and complete sexual intercourse comprises the following steps—the prelude; the love play; the sexual union; and the after play.

The Prelude

The first sign of sexual arousal in a man is usually that he has an erection because more blood flows into his penis. His testicles swell and draw up closer to his body. His penis becomes hard and erect. His body feels alive to touch, muscles start to tense up and contract. His heart starts to beat faster and shallower. His nipples may become erect and more sensitive.

In the woman more blood flows into her vulva and clitoris. Her genital area swells and feels full. Her clitoris becomes hard and erect and comes out from under its hood. She starts to produce more vaginal fluid and her labia begin to feel quite wet. Her body feels alive to touch, her muscles start to tense up and contract. Her heart starts to beat faster and her breathing becomes faster and shallower. Her nipples may become erect and more sensitive.

In some cases these changes take place slowly, in others rapidly and in exceptional instances with the speed and certainty of lightning. The prelude ends as the love play begins.

The Love Play

We can not specify any one instant of time, for terminating the prelude and initiating the second stage. It is obvious that they merge into each other in delicate gradations. But it is not difficult to recognise. This second stage is enacted from the erotic kiss to the beginning of erotic communion. The erotic kiss is the prototype of all erotic contacts.

This particular stage in sexual relation is of special significance as it is necessary in order to excite her fully and make her ready for coital purpose. For the man who neglects the love play is guilty of coarseness and positive brutality.

Love play as an art gives a profusion of pleasures which are certainly not inferior to those of communion itself. The entire gamut of erotic activities ranging from teasing, hair pulling, caresses and kisses and all forms of physical contact that lead more or less directly to sexual gratification are parts of love play. Coquetry and flirtation are also a part of love play.

The Erotic Kiss

The erotic kiss is mutual; it is given and received from mouth to mouth with mutual pressure. This is its signature and significance. The erotic kiss may brush the bloom like a butterfly’s wings in a light stroking of lips with other’s pursed lips.

The tongue is indispensable in the erotic kiss and plays lead in its most important variations. The erotic kiss or French kiss is more captivating when the tip of the tongue very lightly and gently titilates the beloved’s tongue and lips. Three senses are blended in the kiss—touch, taste and smell.