All You Wanted to Know About Sex (4 page)

Premature Ejaculation

When a man ejaculates sooner than he expects to or wants to, it is called premature ejaculation. It has been established by research that anxiety about performance often causes premature ejaculation, as well as erectile failure. More than 80% of normal men experience this sexual difficulty at some point in their relationship. Without proper knowledge people can remain hung-over with subconscious fear of wrong doing even when they are enjoying in a mutually shared experience during marriage.

Such methods as the squeeze and stop start techniques are frequently effective in treating this condition. The intensity of ejaculation and orgasm are influenced by a number of factors, such as the degree of sexual excitement and the age and health of the individual.

In the past the concept of premature ejaculation was unknown. Indeed from the women’s point of view, the sooner ejaculation occurred the better, since coitus was something to be endured rather than enjoyed.

Erections

When any person is sexually aroused, mental signals cause the valves of each penile reservoir to expand allowing blood circulation to pour into these swollen chambers. The chambers are fixed in place by connective, sponge-like tissue and as they swell by means of pressure from inside, the penis becomes erect and hard. Pressure detectors regulate the amount of circulation, and balance the erection, and degree of hardness. Afterwards when that person has ejaculated, the muscle relaxes. The blood flow returns to normal and the penis goes limp.

But erections can happen at other times too. One may find his penis slightly erect when he wake up in the morning. This is often because the bladder is full and is putting pressure on the penis. When urine is passed the erection goes away. The time taken by a male to get an erection from the start of sexual stimulation can be as low as 15 seconds in a young person and may take longer as a person grows older.

Erections Sabotaged

Research findings show that when any man tries to perform under negative circumstances, erection problem arises. The emotional pressure from within, causes his muscles to tighten their grip on the blood vessels that pass into the genital areas. This mind to body reflex interferes with normal function because erection can only take place when there is sufficient blood flowing into the arteries. The engorgement by the inflow of blood fluid is nature’s means of maintaining rigidity.

When there is a conditioned pattern blocking impulses to the penis a sort of resistant armor is built up in that area. As the sphincter-muscles lock, the normal flow of circulation is cut off. Stress is at the root of most male impotence. Guilt and sex are antagonistic bedfellows.

Role of a Woman in the Erection

Many men believe that the woman is responsible for the state of erection. The truth, however, is that we are each responsible for our own sexual performance. Virility is always inner directed and self projected. The part that the woman plays depends on how much she cares about the man and how well the two people trust each other.

Retarded Ejaculation

Retarded ejaculation is caused due to emotional factors such as anxiety or insecurity, or aging. It may also be achieved by training in self-control as a means of extending the pleasure of intercourse.

Erectile Dysfunction

Inability of a male to achieve penile erection is called erectile dysfunction. The causes may be physical or psychic. If any man experiences an erection while sleeping but is unable to achieve an erection as a part of normal sexual activity, the cause is assumed to be psychic.

Physical causes may include low testostrone levels, which can be caused in turn by a disorder of the hypothalamus or pituitary glands, alcoholism, drug abuse, diabetes, mellitus, syphilis, multiple sclerosis, stroke, and prostatectomy also are among possible physical causes of erectile dysfunction. Nearly any drug that affects the autonomie nervous system may also affect sexual functioning.

Depression, sexual guilt and fear of intimacy are common psychic reasons. In many cases a single episode of erectile dysfunction may result in a fear of failure and mental attitude in which anxiety about a possible repetition of the episode becomes the psychic cause for erectile dysfunction.

Controlling Ejaculation

Ejaculation can be controlled by distracting one’s thinking about another subject or by muscular relaxation. It may be done by slowing or ceasing pelvic thrusts. Squeeze techniques are also useful.

Tantric techniques advocate closing the eyes, opening the eyes wide, holding the breath, gnashing the teeth, and firmly pressing the area between the scrotum and anus, because the semen duct is located there.

Female Sex Organs

Uterus

Uterus is a part of the female reproductive system. It is also called womb. It is a hollow muscular organ with thick walls located in the pelvic region of the female, the structure in which a fertilized ovum is nurtured into a viable individual. In a non-pregnant woman the uterus is a small pear shaped organ about 7 cm in length which protrudes at the cervical end into the vault of the vagina. Two fallopian tubes, or oviducts are attached to the uterus at both sides less than 2.5 cm from the top or fundus. The portion below the level of the tubes is the body of the uterus. All girls are born with a uterus.

Each month as part of the menstrual cycle, the lining of the uterus thickens in case an ovum is fertilized by a sperm. If the ovum is not fertilized, the thickened endometrium breaks down and pass out of the girl’s or woman’s vagina as her menstrual period. When the oavum is fertilized and the woman is pregnant, the uterus contains the unborn baby. It has to stretch a lot to make room for the baby to grow. By the time the baby is ready to be born, the uterus may be more than 50 cm long from top to bottom. During labour, muscles in the uterus tighten and relax in order to pull the cervix open so that the baby can pass out of the uterus. After the baby is born, the uterus starts to return to its normal size.

Female reproductive system

Vagina

Vagina is also apart of the female reproductive system. The vagina is a muscular tube inside a woman’s body which connects her uterus to the outside of her body. It is about 10 cm long. The walls of the vagina are made up of soft folds of skin. The vagina is located anatomically between the bladder and the rectum and is supported by ligaments and muscles of the pelvic floor. Its walls are formed by an internal mucous membrane lining and a muscular coat, with an erectile tissue between them.

The main functions of the vagina are to provide passageway for spermatozoa from the penis to reach uterus. It is also an outlet for the menstrual flow from the uterus, and a birth canal for the foetus. The vaginal lining responds to stimulation by the female sex hormones
Oestrogen
and
Progesterone
. This lining is continuous with uterus but it is not smooth surface. It is marked with furrows and ridges. These are called columns of vagina. The inside of the vagina can be dry or wet.

The empty vagina in a state of sexual response has an average length of 8 to 10 cm. At the time of coitus, penetration does not take place upto the root. This only occurs in certain special positions.

Vulva

Vulva is the name given to a woman’s outer sex organ. After puberty it will have pubic hair growing there. The labia majora, the labia minora, the clitoris, the vestibules or opening of the vagina are the parts of the vulva.

Clitoris

It is the most sensitive part of the female genitals. The clitoris is where the inner labia meets at the front of the vulva. Only the tip of the clitoris is visible, and is covered by a hood or fold of skin.

The clitoris is full of nerve endings and when it is stimulated it becomes stiff like an erect penis and pokes out of its hood. Stimulating the clitoris helps many women to have an orgasm. The clitoris is, in fact, the
power house
of a woman’s sexual feelings. It does not play any part in reproduction except to make sex play more pleasurable.

Like the penis, it has a suspensory ligament and two small muscles, which during sexual arousal are engorged by blood and become fuller and firmer. When this happens, the hood pulls back and exposes the delicate tip. But at the peak of excitement it shrinks back into its hood again. The clitoris may be stimulated directly by stroking the shaft slowly and gently to begin with and then faster and with a firm touch as excitement mounts.

During intercourse the pressure of the man’s pubic bone against the clitoris may be sufficient stimulation for some women. For others the tugging action of the penis on the whole vulval area does the trick. But a large number of women need direct and continuous stimulation of the clitoris by hand at the time of penetration in order to reach orgasm. Typically, women like clitoral stimulation to be part of a total involvement and not to be seen like an obligation. It should be slow and soft at first, gradually building more pressure and speed. A technique frequently preferred is that stimulation should start with whole hand massage and then use only one or two fingers.

Labia

The word labia means lips. There are two types of labia— the outer labia and the inner labia.

The Outer Labia
—These are also called labia majora. They are two pieces of thick skin that surround the vaginal orifice. These are shaped like a pair of lips and they consist of longitudinal folds of tissue that extend downwards and backwards from the mons pubis, enclosing the labia minora, the vagina, the urethra and the clitoris. The labia majora becomes wider and engorged with blood during sexual excitement. Pubic hair grows over the outer labia of the girls who have reached puberty. The outer labia are generally closed so that they can protect the more delicate parts underneath them such as the Vagina and the Clitoris.

The Inner Labia
—The inner labia are also called labia minora. These are thinner than the outer labia and they can be seen when the outer labia are parted. They are sensitive to touch. As in the case of the labia majora, they also swell during sexual excitements. They come together in the prepuce of the clitoris at the upper end and in the hymen at the lower end.

Pubic Hair

Hair growth in the pubic region is one of the first signs of puberty. On the onset of puberty a patch of hair appears just above the genitals in a male and a female. The hair may vary in density, size and colour from person to person. This is considered to be a secondary sex characteristic. Even the sight of pubic hair is exciting to most men and some women.

Hymen

It is a very thin layer or membrane of skin which covers part of the vaginal opening. Every girl’s hymen is different. Some women have hymens which look complete but which contain enough tiny holes to let menstrual blood flow through, when they have their menstrual period.

This delicate membrane stretches over the entrance of the vagina closing it partially. Many women have large opening in the hymen and some have no hymen at all.

Some religious and cultural groups expect a woman to have a complete hymen when she gets married. This is because one way in which a hymen is broken is through intercourse. If her hymen is broken, she is not considered as virgin. But this conception is not in conformity with fact.

For instance, those girls who ride a horse or a bike or do a lot of sports, gym or dancing, the hymen may get ruptured. By using a tampon in the vagina also hymen can be broken.

During the first act of intercourse, the hymen is normally torn, or atleast perforated, in two places on right and left. This penetration is accompanied by a slight loss of blood. It is almost always painful to a greater or lesser degree. In women over 30 years of age it is hard and tough and offers considerable difficulties in coitus.