Almost A Spinster (22 page)

“My lady? Lady Madeline! Lady Madeline, where are you?”

Nathan turned to face the shouts and found a servant in the livery of Maddie’s employer, Lord Heatherton, hurrying from a copse of trees that surrounded the open field. As he drew closer, Nathan saw that he was flushed from exertion and breathless.

“There you are, my lady,” the man said, stopping in front of Maddie and executing a swift bow. “Your aunt has gone into early labor and we cannot find Lord Heatherton. She is asking for you, Lady Madeline. You must hurry back to the house.”

All the high color left Maddie’s face as she cried out, “Serena is in labor, no it is too early!”

Nathan stared at Maddie. The servant’s words, which had been so confusing, began to sink in. Lady Madeline. My lady. Maddie had called Lady Heatherton by her first name without hesitation. Dear God, that meant… that meant…

“The doctor is on his way and I must join the others in the search for Lord Heatherton. He went out this morning, but no one has been able to find him,” the servant panted.

“Go!” Maddie cried. “Go and find him then, I can make it back.”

The servant bowed again and rushed away, leaving Maddie and Nathan alone. Immediately, she looked around her, her expression forlorn and terrified. “I-I must go back. My aunt is not due for many weeks, she must be so afraid and I-”

“Your aunt,
Lady
Madeline?” Nathan repeated, his heart all but choking him as the last piece in this confusing puzzle clicked into place.

He had just spent the afternoon pleasuring not the simple lady’s maid he had grown to care so deeply for, but a peeress of the realm. A woman of rank. A woman who had lied to him from the first moment she met him.

Maddie spun on him, tears trickling from her eyes. But she didn’t speak. She didn’t deny. She simply held up her hands in a gesture of surrender.

“I wanted to tell you so many times,” she finally gasped out.

“And you should have,” he replied as he grasped the blanket and yanked it from the ground. “But you have your aunt to attend to and I will join the others in finding your uncle. I believe he may have had an appointment with my employer. Perhaps he is still there.”

Maddie nodded swiftly. “Yes, please see if he is. My aunt will need him now.”

Nathan stared at her. She still looked like the innocent girl that he had come to know over the past fortnight. The girl who had put visions of a future into his head.

But she wasn’t that girl and she never had been.

As if on cue, she stepped forward and hesitantly reached for his arm. “Nathan-” she began.

And though it pained him, he had no choice but to step away. “We can speak of this later, my lady. For now you must go to your aunt.”

She swallowed hard, blinking several times as if staving off tears. Then she nodded and ran toward the Heatherton House and away from Nathan.

Chapter Five

“There you are, Nathan! I’ve been looking for you all over and-”

Lord Fulton came to a sudden stop as he entered the neat, tidy quarters that Nathan had resided in since he began his employment. Marcus tilted his head and leaned in closer, his dark eyes taking in the half-empty whiskey bottle on the table and Nathan’s disheveled appearance.

“Great God, are you
drunk
?”

Nathan bit back a humorless laugh. “Not quite. I’m still working on it.” Then he shook his head. Despite his inebriated state, he knew better than to behave in such a way. He had to be respectful, he had to be-

“Oh bugger it,” he murmured before he swept the bottle up and took another long swig.

Fulton shut the door without asking leave. Turning one of Nathan’s plain, wooden chairs around, he sank down onto its seat and draped his arms over the back. One fine brow arched and he said, “Out with it.”

“Out with what?” Nathan asked, not daring to look at the man who probably knew him better than anyone else, despite all of Nathan’s attempts to stave off a friendship over the years.

“When you stormed in here this morning and announced to Heatherton that his wife was in early labor, you must have known that you would have a hero’s reception later. You were the one who found the husband and sent him off to save the day. The baby was born, by the way and is healthy and doing well, as is Lady Heatherton.”

Nathan shut his eyes briefly as relief washed over him. He couldn’t imagine the pain Maddie… no,
Lady Madeline
, would have felt had her aunt’s pregnancy ended poorly. And though he realized they could never see each other again, he certainly would not have wished that agony on her or her family.

Fulton shook his head. “Great God, man. You realize you’ll probably receive some monetary thanks from Heatherton. You should be celebrating your windfall, not drinking yourself into a stupor and looking like you lost your only friend.”

Again, Nathan held back a bark of laughter. That was exactly how he felt. Like he’d lost his best friend and his future.

“I don’t want Heatheron’s money,” he said softly, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth. How humiliating to be
paid
by Maddie… Lady Madeline’s family. “I only did what any decent person would have done. I don’t want anything more.”

Fulton smiled a little. “Because this long face you are exhibiting seems more related to trouble with a woman than anything else.”

Nathan hesitated. This was not an appropriate subject to broach with his employer, especially now that Nathan knew the truth about Maddie’s identity, but he couldn’t exactly ignore Fulton’s question.

“She-she wasn’t who I thought she was,” he finally stammered. Just the words made his heart ache and memories rush back to assault him. Memories of Maddie’s mouth coming open beneath his. Of her body shaking when he touched her intimately. Of the shining trust in her eyes.

And of the pale horror when the servant called her ‘Lady Madeline’ and destroyed the house of lies she had so carefully crafted over the weeks since they met.

“Ah,” Marcus nodded before he reached out and plucked the nearly empty bottle from Nathan’s fingers. He downed a swig for himself as he pondered what Nathan had said. “But then, they rarely are, are they?”

“Sir?” Nathan repeated, his mind spinning from alcohol and disappointment.

“Women. They are rarely who you think they are. One day they are light and playful, the next they are a tempest. One day a shameless flirt, the next a proper lady.” Marcus shrugged. “It is what makes them interesting. I’m sure your lady will return to whatever form you liked best soon enough. No reason to get sauced.”

“I’m afraid it isn’t that simple.” Nathan dragged his hands over his face with a long sigh.

“Care to explain?”

He stared at the other man again. Fulton was always pressing him to accept a little friendship. To trust him. To allow himself to be ‘human’, as Marcus had called it so many times. And Nathan so desperately needed advice on the strange events that had brought him to this place. Fulton understood the world Maddie-
Lady Madeline
-inhabited. He also knew exactly why Nathan couldn’t cross into that world, beyond the obvious differences in station.

Right now, Nathan needed reminding.

“I-” Nathan began. Then, stammering, he found himself recounting the entire story, from the moment he met Maddie to that morning when he realized her true identity. The only thing he left out was how much further than a kiss they had progressed. That was not anyone’s affair but theirs and he wouldn’t sully Maddie-Lady Madeline’s- honor by spreading tales.

It was amazing. When he finished his tale, he already felt lighter. As if just saying the words out loud made them less bitter. Less troubling.

Fulton stared at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly gaping. He grabbed for the bottle between them and took the final swig before he said, “Well. That certainly was not the story I was expecting. Madeline Reynolds, I never would have guessed. She always seemed so mousy and bookish.”

Nathan wrinkled his brow. Mousy? Bookish? He shook his head. He had
never
seen her in those terms. What was wrong with the men of the
ton
?

Nathan shrugged. “But now you see my dilemma. I have become overly familiar with the daughter of one of the Empire’s most powerful Dukes. Everything I believed about her was a lie. I am the biggest fool imaginable.” He shuddered. “Probably the lady has been laughing at me the whole time.”

Fulton shook he head immediately. “No,
that
I don’t believe. Lady Madeline has never been cruel. And after everything she has suffered at the hands of love, I doubt she would purposefully inflict pain on someone else.”

Nathan fisted his hands beneath the table. For a brief, powerful moment, he had been jealous of his employer. Fulton knew Maddie, perhaps not in the physical way Nathan had, but he knew the truth about her past, had every right to speak to her if he desired to do so… hell, the man had probably danced with her and no one had thought anything of it.

“What do you mean, what she suffered at the hands of love?” Nathan found himself asking, despite the fact that he shouldn’t pry. But he found himself desperate for any shred of fact about the woman who had moved him in such a short period of time.

Fulton shrugged. “She was engaged for a time two years ago to a man… an idiot named David Langston. But it ended badly. I’m not sure of all the particulars, but I’ve heard rumors that he intended to pay for a mistress, along with other things, with Lady Madeline’s dowry. Her father overheard his plans and broke off the union. Poor girl had never had much standing socially before that, but afterward she suffered greatly.”

Marcus folded his arms as he leaned away from the chair back. Finally, he smiled just a fraction. “Perhaps you are correct. She has always been a very steady young woman. She might not have loved him.”

Nathan pushed to his feet with a self-directed grunt of disgust. His employer was an observant man, and it was clear he had guessed how deep Nathan’s feelings for Maddie went.

“None of it matters now,” he muttered, almost as much for his own benefit as for Fulton. “The truth has been revealed. Lady Madeline will return to her life and I shall return to mine. It is over.”

Fulton got up with a clatter that drew Nathan’s attention. His employer was staring at him, eyes wide. “So, you will just give up, just like that? Even though you are in love with the woman?”

Nathan’s shoulders ached from the tension that stiffened them. So his feelings were
that
clear, were they?

“My feelings, whatever they may be, matter very little now. You know the difference in our stations, a…” He swallowed. “A love affair, a marriage, between us could never be. I will simply avoid seeing her again.”

Fulton shook his head. “That may not be possible. The Heathertons will likely invite you to their home to thank you within a week or two.”

Nathan pursed his lips, trying desperately to ignore the jolt of pleasure that accompanied his employer’s words. He did
not
want to see Maddie again. Or be invited to her uncle’s home. Or be celebrated as the hero of the day while she watched, beaming.

“Then I shall decline the invitation,” he growled. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have some matters to attend to that were neglected while I indulged in my own foolishness.”

Normally, he would have waited for Fulton to excuse him, but this time Nathan simply left the room. If only he could leave the pain behind so easily.

#

Maddie stared at her reflection in the mirror, turning from side to side as she examined her face and looked for any difference she could determine. There weren’t any. Yet inside, she felt changed. Forever altered.

Others had noticed, as well. In the past two weeks, her aunt and uncle’s home had been flooded with well-wishers, visitors who wanted to celebrate the new baby boy who had made his presence known in such dramatic fashion. Of course, all the dramatics had been for nothing, once the doctor sheepishly admitted that he had miscalculated how far along in her term Serena was. It turned out baby boy Simon had been right on time, not early in the slightest and he was completely healthy.

Maddie’s father and mother had arrived just five days before. The moment the Duke saw her, he had declared that the country air had changed her, done her good. And all Maddie had been able to do was blush as she hugged her father and prayed he would never discover her deception. He would not be proud of her for playing another person for a fool as she had Nathan.

Not that it had been her intention to do so, but in the end she had done just that. What was worse was that Nathan could not forgive her for it. In the two weeks since they had parted under such trying and unexpected terms, he had made no attempt to contact her. When she could, she had even slipped away, making the rounds of all the places they had spent time together in the hopes she would stumble upon him and have a chance to explain… or at least apologize.

But all her wanderings had left her with nothing but painful memories and a heavy sense of guilt. And loneliness.

There was joy, of course. How could one not feel joy when those around her were so joyful? But Maddie felt separate from it all, watching from a distance as her own pain sat heavy in her chest.