Almost Transparent Blue (3 page)

Reiko stood up, her face greenish pale, muttered, What time is it now, what time is it? to no one in particular, staggered to the counter, took the whiskey from Kei's hand, poured some down her throat, and had another violent fit of coughing. That's real dumb, Reiko, ya jes' lie down like a good girl. Kei grabbed back the whiskey roughly, wiped Reiko's spittle from the mouth of the bottle with her hand, and took another sip. When Kei pushed her on the chest, Reiko fell against the sofa, then turned to me and said, Hey, don't make it so loud, that's no good, the guys from the mahjongg place upstairs will get after me. They're real finks, they'll call the police, so can't you keep it down a little?

As I leaned over the amps to lower the sound, Moko squealed and jumped astride me. Her cold thighs squeezed my neck.

Hey, Moko, you wanna make it with Ryū that much? I'll do it for you, how about me?

I could hear Yoshiyama's voice behind me. I pinched Moko's thighs hard. She shrieked and tumbled to the floor. Idiot, freak, Ryū, you idiot, you can't even get it up, I'm sure you can't, I heard you're a fairy for those niggers, you've been taking too much dope! Maybe because it was too much trouble to rise, Moko lay where she had fallen, laughing, lashing out to kick my legs with her high heels.

Reiko pressed her face into the sofa and said in a low voice, Aww I wanna die, my chest hurts, hey my chest really hurts, me, I wanna die. Kei looked up from the Stones' record jacket she'd been reading and gazed at Reiko. Well, why don' ya jes' go ahead and die then? Hey, Ryū, that's right, huh? Ya think so?

People who wanna die should jes' go ahead and die without a lot of fuss. It's real dumb, Reiko's jes' playing up to us.

Kazuo attached the strobe to his Nikomat and shot a picture of Kei. When the the strobe went off, Moko—lying flat on the floor—raised her head. Now Kazuo, cut that out, stop taking pictures without any say-so. Ah'm a pro and get a guaranteed wage. That real glittery light jes' gets me down, Ah hate photographs, so turn out that real glittery light, that's why ya don' get along with people.

Reiko groaned as if in pain, half-turned her body, and heaved up globs of vomit.

Flustered, Kei ran to her, spread a newspaper, wiped her mouth with a towel, and massaged her back. There were a lot of rice grains in the vomit ; I thought of the fried rice we'd eaten together that evening. The red ceiling light was reflected on the surface of the brownish vomit on the newspaper. Reiko, eyes closed, was mumbling, I wanna go home, me, I wanna go back there, I wanna go home. Yoshiyama pulled Moko to her feet and while he was undoing the buttons on the front of her dress, he chimed in on Reiko's monologue: Yeah, that's right, it's getting to be the best time of year to be in Okinawa, yeah. Moko grabbed Yoshiyama's hand as he tried to squeeze her breasts, then hugged Kazuo, saying, Hey, take a picture, in the same sugary voice. I'm in that fashion mag An-An, this month's issue, as a model, in color, hey Ryū, I guess you saw it?

Kei rubbed her finger, wet with Reiko's spittle, on her jeans and dropped the needle on a new record, "It's a Beautiful Day." Reiko's jes' playing up to us.

Kazuo, his legs sprawled wide on the sofa, lay back and clicked the shutter at random. The strobe burned steadily, so I pressed my hands against my eyes.

Hey, Kazuo, cut it out, you'll use up the battery.

Yoshiyama tried to kiss Kei but was pushed away. What is it with you? Didn't you say you were having the hots yesterday? When you fed the cat, you said Blackey, you and me really want it bad, huh? That's what you said, right? So how about a kiss?

Kei drank her whiskey.

Moko was posing in front of Kazuo, holding up her hair and grinning at him.

Hey, you can't come up with a real smile now just by saying cheese, Moko.

Kei yelled at Yoshiyama. Ya're making such a fuss, jes' leave me alone, Ah get mad jes' seeing that face of yours. That pork cutlet ya ate for supper, ya know that money came from a farmer in Akita, the thousand yen he gave me with his hand all black, ya know that?

Moko looked at me and stuck out her tongue, I hate you, Ryū, you pervert.

Thirsty for some cold water, I chipped at the block of ice with an ice pick but stabbed my finger. Kei, who'd been dancing on the counter, ignoring Yoshiyama, got down and licked the blood welling out of that little hole, saying Ryū, so ya've given up music?

Reiko got up from the sofa and begged, Hey, please turn down the sound.

Nobody went near the amps.

The front of her dress gaping open, Moko came over to me as I pressed a paper napkin to my finger and asked, laughing, Ryū, how much can we get from those niggers?

Huh? You're talking about the party?

I mean if Kei or I make it with those niggers, how much can we get from them?

I'm not saying it has anything to do with me, you know, but—

Sitting on the counter, Kei said, Ya jes' cut it out, Moko, that kind of killjoy talk, if ya want money Ah'll take ya to a good guy. A party's not for money, it's for having fun.

Moko twisted the gold chain dangling on my chest around her finger and sneered, I guess you got this from one of those niggers?

You dumb cunt, I got this in high school from a girl in my class, on her birthday.

I played "A Certain Smile" for her and that got to her and she gave me this. She was a rich kid, her father had a big lumber yard. And listen, Moko, you've got to stop saying nigger, they'll kill you, they can understand that much Japanese. If you don't like it, you don't have to come along— right, Kei? There're plenty of other girls who want to come to our parties.

When she saw Kei nodding, her mouth full of whiskey, Moko said, Aww, don't get mad, I was just kidding. She hugged me.

I'll go, didn't we already decide that? Those niggers are strong and they'll give us some hash, right? She stuck her tongue in my mouth.

Kazuo brought the Nikomat up almost to my nose, and just as I yelled, Cut it out, he pressed the shutter. As if I'd been hit hard on the head, everything turned white before my eyes. I couldn't see. Moko clapped her hands and shrieked with laughter. I slid along the counter, almost falling, but Kei held me up and passed some whiskey from her mouth into mine. She'd smeared on sticky oily-smelly lipstick. The lipstick-flavored whiskey burned down my throat.

Bastard! Stop it, won't you cut it out? Yoshiyama yelled, slamming the comic book he'd been reading on the floor. Kei, you'd kiss Ryū, huh? I took a step and staggered, knocking over the table; there were the sounds of breaking glass, foaming beer, peanuts rolling on the floor. Reiko got up, shaking her head, and yelled, Everybody out! Get out! Rubbing my head I put some ice in my mouth and went over to her. Don't worry, Reiko, I'll clean up everything afterwards, it'll be O.K.

This is my place, tell everybody to get out! Hey Ryū, Ryū, it's O.K. if you stay, but tell the others to get out of here. Reiko squeezed my hand.

Yoshiyama and Kei were glaring at each other.

Hey, so you'll kiss Ryū instead of me? Huh?

Kazuo said timidly, Yoshiyama, I'm the one to blame, it's not like you think, I was fooling around with the strobe and got Ryū and he was falling over, so Kei gave him some whiskey, you know, like medicine. Yoshiyama growled, Get away, and shoved Kazuo, so that the Nikomat almost fell. Hey, what're you doing? Kazuo snapped. Caught in Kazuo's arms Moko mumbled, Wow, this is really dumb, right?

What's the matter, ya jealous? Kei made her dangling sandals slap against her feet. Eyes swollen from crying, Reiko pulled at my sleeve and said, Hey, get me some ice. I wrapped some up

in a paper napkin and put it on her forehead. Kazuo turned to Yoshiyama, who had stood up and was glaring at Kei, and clicked the shutter again. Yoshiyama almost punched him. Moko laughed loudly.

Kazuo and Moko said they were going to clear out. We think we'll go to the bathhouse for a while, Moko said.

Hey, Moko, you'd better button up, or some punk'll paw you. And it's Kōenji Station tomorrow at one o'clock, so don't be late. Laughing, Moko answered, I know, you pervert, I won't forget or anything. I'm going to dress up really fine.

Kazuo dropped to one knee on the road and clicked the shutter at me again.

A drunk who'd come along singing said something and turned back toward the strobe.

Reiko was trembling slightly. The paper napkin had fallen on the floor and the ice had almost all melted.

The way Ah'm feeling now doesn't have anything to do with you, Yoshiyama, it's jes' nothing much at all. Ah don't have to sleep with ya, right? Puffing her cigarette smoke straight up, Kei talked slowly to Yoshiyama. Anyway, ya jes'

stop hassling me, jes' stop it. Ah don't care if we break up, ya might not like it but Ah'd be O.K. Anyway, ya want some more to drink? It's the party before the party, right, Ryū?

I sat down beside Reiko. When I put my hand on the back of her neck, her body jerked slightly and smelly saliva trailed from one side of her mouth.

Kei, you quit saying 'Ah' and stuff like that all the time. I don't like you to talk like that, so cut it out, huh? So O.K., I'll go start work tomorrow, that'll be O.K., right?

I'll get together some bread, so it'll be O.K., huh?

Kei was sitting on the counter. Oh, is that so? Yeah, go to work, that'll really help me out. She swung her legs back and forth.

I don't give a damn if you try playing around, it's just your saying 'Ah' and stuff, it sort of gets to me. I'll just think it's because you have the hots, and anyway everything's gonna be fine because I'll go get a job on the docks in Yokohama, huh? Yoshi-yama gripped Kei's leg. Her tight slacks were pasted on her thighs, the slight bulge of her belly rested on her belt.

What're ya talking about? Don't say crazy mixed-up stuff, it embarrasses me.

Look, isn't Ryū laughing? Ah don't get what ya're saying at all, Ah'm jes' me, that's all.

Stop talking like that! Where'd you pick up that accent anyway?

Kei tossed her cigarette in the sink. Pulling on her shirt, she said, That's from mah own mama, didn't ya know Mama talks like this? Hey, didn't ya come to mah house one time, remember the woman with the cat, sitting in the kotatsu, munching on rice crackers? That's mah mama and she talks like Ah do, didn't ya hear her?

Yoshiyama bent down and asked me for a smoke, then dropped the Kool I tossed to him. Flustered he picked it up, slightly damp with beer, stuck it in his mouth, and, lighting it, said quietly, Let's go home.

Ya go home by y'self, Ah'm O.K. here.

Wiping Reiko's mouth, I asked Yoshiyama, Aren't you coming to the party tomorrow?

Ah think it's O.K. if he doesn't, isn't it O.K.? This guy says he's going to work so it's O.K. if he works. It won't matter any if Yoshiyama's there or not, will it? Ya just go back to our place, if ya don't go back soon, ya won't be able to get up.

Tomorrow's Yokohama, right? Early?

Hey Yoshiyama, you really don't plan to come?

Without answering he went over to one corner of the room and started to put

"Left Alone" on the spinning turntable.

As he pulled the record from its jacket, which had a ghostly photo of Billy Holiday, Kei got down off the counter and said in his ear, Make it the Stones.

Cut it out, Kei, don't talk to me anymore.

Yoshiyama looked straight at her, cigarette clamped tight in his mouth.

It's so dumb, what's with that record, ya want to listen to gloomy piano again, right, just like a tired old granddaddy? That stuff is to blacks like what Naniwabushi is to us. Hey, Ryū, say something to him, this is the latest Rolling Stones, ya haven't heard it, have ya? It's 'Sticky Fingers.'

Ignoring her, Yoshiyama put Mal Waldron on the turntable.

Kei, it's already late and Reiko told us to keep it down. And it's no good playing the Stones with the sound turned down, right?

Buttoning her shirt and looking in the mirror to fix her hair, Kei asked, What about tomorrow?

We decided on one o'clock at Kōenji Station, I answered. Kei nodded, smeared on some lipstick.

Yoshiyama, Ah'm not coming back tonight because Ah'm going to Sam's place, so be sure and give the cat some milk, not the milk in the refrigerator, the milk on the shelf, don't mix them up.

Yoshiyama didn't answer.

When Kei opened the door, the air that flowed in was cool and moist. Hey, Kei, leave it open for a while.

As we listened to "Left Alone" Yoshiyama filled a tumbler with gin. I picked up the pieces of glass scattered on the floor and collected them on the newspaper soaked with Reiko's vomit. "I don't like to say it, but these days it always goes like that," Yoshiyama muttered as he stared at the ceiling.

"It was the same even before she went up to Akita to work, we sleep separate at night, even though I don't do it much anyway."

I drank a coke from the refrigerator. Yoshiyama waved his hand to show he didn't want any and drained down all the gin.

"She's been saying she wants to go to Hawaii. It's been awhile but remember about how there was talk maybe her dad is in Hawaii? I thought I'd get together some bread and send her there, well, I don't know if the guy in Hawaii is really her dad or not, but . . .

"I thought I'd work, get together some bread, but now everything's all mixed up and I don't have a clue what she's thinking anymore, she's like that all the time, every day."

Yoshiyama pressed his hand to his chest, stood up, and hurried outside, I could hear him spewing into the gutter. Reiko was really passed out. She was breathing through her mouth. From the back cupboard, hidden behind a curtain, I took a blanket and covered her with it.

He came back holding his belly, wiping his mouth with his shirt cuff. Yellow vomit clung to the front of his rubber sandals, a sour smell floated from his body. I could hear Reiko's faint breathing.

"Yoshiyama, come tomorrow, to the party."

"Yeah, well, Kei, she's looking forward to it, says she wants to do it with those niggers again, so I'm kind of ... you know.

"What's with Reiko today? She was pretty wild." Yoshiyama sat down opposite me and swallowed a mouthful of gin.