Always Remember (8 page)

Then Jessie’s own unexpected pregnancy had thrown a serious wrench into her mother’s plans.

She glanced back at the bed, at the fragile woman sleeping so peacefully. Tears gathered in her eyes. She brushed them away and returned to her study of the pictures where photo after photo depicted life on the farm. Sam and Nate. Maude and Nate. Jessie and Nate.

She lifted the last picture off the wall, made her way to the bedside, and flopped down on a chair.

Get in, get out.
It should have been so easy, but nothing had gone according to plan. Instead of visiting her mother in the sterile atmosphere of the hospital where there were no reminders of the past, she’d been forced to face all she’d left behind.

“I cut a new CD, Mom. I think it’s my best one yet. The first song hit number one already. It’s everything you ever wanted, everything you ever dreamed of me achieving.”

Her gaze fixed on the wall and the memories. Mucking out the stables. Horseplay in the hayloft. Riding her favorite mare. In every picture, it seemed that Nate was at her side, grinning down at her, laughing with her.

She smiled past the tears that blurred her vision and studied the photo in her hand.

A picture of Nate and her on the porch swing. Their future together a sure thing. Their hearts and bodies already committed to the love they’d shared.

His bed or hers.
Why would he suggest that now? Why was she even considering his words?

Because she’d never stopped loving him. He was a part of all she’d held precious and lost. Grief and anger tore at her insides. Through the blinding sheen of tears, she studied the frail shell of her mother and wondered if she could hear.

“He’ll hate me for what I did. Maybe he’ll hate you, too, Mom. But I have to find a way to tell him the truth. He deserves to know, doesn’t he?”

Silence. She wondered if her mother could hear...and what her advice would be this time.

CHAPTER NINE

The silence of the house closed in on Nate, distracting him from the rows of numbers he’d been attempting to balance all afternoon. He slammed the ledger book shut and leaned against the backrest of the chair.

How many years had it taken for him to put Jessie from his thoughts? How many nights had he lain awake aching for her, wishing she was curled up against him, safe in his arms? Wondering who held her in the darkness of the night? How many years had it taken for the love he’d once felt for her to transform into something else?

Now, she was just a short walk away, so close he could wander over and finish what they’d started all those years ago.

He pushed away from the desk, strolled into the kitchen, and flipped on the radio dial. Music blared.
Jessie Adams.
Like an explosion, her sweet vibrant voice rocked through him.

She’d always been so passionate about her music. She’d always been passionate about him, too. So why had she run away?

The urge to head over to Sam’s house and confront her with the question consumed his every waking moment. And only one thing held him back.

If he blew open this can of worms, he could lose everything that mattered.

He flipped off the dial, shoved his hat on his head and escaped the house, the screen door banging shut behind him. Diablo’s sleek, white coat gleamed in the late afternoon sun and caught his attention. Maybe some good, old-fashioned exercise might banish the edginess and restlessness.

Across the yard, a screen door creaked. Sam came out of the house and sat on the porch swing alone.

Any other time, he would have wandered over and settled on the swing with him. So why should things be different just because Jessie had returned? Determination lengthened his stride down the steps and across the yard. No matter how unsettling he found her presence, he refused to ignore Sam just because she might join them.

“Afternoon,” he said as he reached the bottom step.

“Thought you’d be tied up with paperwork for the rest of the day, boy.”

Nate shrugged. His gaze shifted toward the front door before he caught himself and focused on his foreman. “Couldn’t concentrate.”

The old man nodded sagely as he rested his hands against his belly and pushed the swing back and forth with his legs. “Jessie’s presence always addled your brain, even when you was a boy.”

Was it that obvious? Nate scowled, glanced toward Diablo.

“Don’t even think it, boy.”

He felt the scowl deepen. “What?”

“You know what I mean. Last time you had a craw up your britches, you ended up with a busted leg.”

“Maybe it was worth it.” He shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans and tried not to think of other ways to ease his frustration. Jessie in his bed. Making love to her till the sun came up. He forced himself to concentrate on Sam. “How’s Maude doing?”

“Sleepin’. She sure does sleep a lot these days.”

“That’s a good thing,” Harley said, drawing Nate’s attention toward the front door. She pushed open the screen door, closed it softly behind her, and plunked herself down on the swing next to Sam. “Where’s Jessie?”

“Takin’ care of the filly,” Sam said.

“I’ve been thinking, Nate—”

“Not a good sign, Harley.”

“Always a good sign.” Bare feet pressed against the floorboards, she smiled at him with her trademark now-I’m-going-to-make-trouble grin. “You know we’re kicking off the Sunday In The Park show next weekend. Maybe Jessie would like to join us.”

Tension rippled through his muscles and settled heavy in his gut. He rested one arm on the railing and tried to relax. “I’m sure she has better things to do with her time.”

“You’re a fraidy cat, Nate Coltrane.”

“Am not.”

“Are, too.”

“Children, children,” Sam admonished.

A vehicle roared up the lane. Nate gritted his teeth when he recognized the van.

News sure did travel fast.

Tension rippled through his muscles and settled heavy in his stomach as the van stopped inches from where he stood. Josh, Mattie, and their three teenage kids piled out, circling him, caging him in.

He tipped his hat politely and they attacked without preamble.

“Were you planning on keeping her all to yourself?”

“Thought we were friends, Nate.”

“Where is she?”

He forced himself to stay calm. “You know Maude’s been real sick. Didn’t think Jess’d want to be bothered.”

“All we want is her autograph. And maybe she could talk to the kids for a while. You know Sally’s got a real sweet voice.”

Anxious faces surrounded him and he wondered why he was even bothering to protect her. “How’d you find out she was here?”

Mattie waved the local newspaper under his nose, her mouth moving steady. But Nate quit listening to the senseless prattle. He managed to wrestle the paper from her grip. Splashed across the front page was the headline
Jessie Adams Returns Home
and below that, a picture of him escorting her from the airport. Anyone who knew him would know where he’d taken her.

It wasn’t his job to play bodyguard. In fact, now he wished that he’d never cursed the peaceful quiet of the afternoon—

“There she is, Mom.”

The scream brought his chin up and he felt the tension in his neck snap. Five heads turned at once as Jessie came strolling from the stable toward the house, oblivious to the commotion. Like a flock of vultures, his neighbors swooped across the yard to greet her.

Josh looked back once. “Thanks, man.”

“Yeah, right,” Nate muttered, closing his ears to the excitement in their voices and the possible sound of Jessie’s call for assistance.

A second car pulled into the yard and another half dozen of his considerate neighbors piled out and surrounded her. Good thing she was used to all this — the fans, the reporters, the lack of privacy.

At the first sight of her breathtaking smile, Nate turned away, but it was already too late. A piece of him remembered the vulnerability and fear behind that smile. What would he do if it were Sara up there, complete strangers demanding a piece of her soul?

Bones creaked and drew his attention. Sam stood at the edge of the steps, ready to rescue his daughter.
Fool.
She didn’t need to be rescued.

Or did she?

Hell, what harm would it do if he just wandered on over there? Chances were, no one would even notice his presence. And if she looked like she welcomed the adoration of her fans, he’d leave her alone with them, disappear into the barn and hide.

But if he saw even a hint of distress in her gaze, he’d barricade the front gate so no one ever bothered her again.

Harley came to stand next to him. “See? Her presence will ensure we sell out the opening show. How can you say no?”

He gave the brim of his hat a tug, squared his shoulders, and swung his gaze up to Sam. “Want me to rescue her?”

“She’s my responsibility, boy, not yours. No sense you gettin’ involved.”

Not get involved? Too late. Watching someone else take care of Jessie went against the grain. “I’ll see to it. You stay put, old man,” he said softly.

Halfway across the yard, he began to feel those familiar territorial instincts, like she still belonged to him. He tried to ignore the emotion. He tried to convince himself he was just doing Sam a tiny favor. As he circled the small crowd and came to a stop behind her, he sensed her relief. How could something so small and insignificant as helping out a friend make him feel so big?

She turned and gave him her famous smile, transfixing him with it as it did her audience. He gave himself a mental shake. That smile didn’t mean a damn thing. The real Jessie Adams liked her privacy as much as he did. Or at least, once she had. If she ever dared use that smile on him in private...

“Everything okay here?” he murmured down at her.

Jessie gave a little shrug and an apologetic little grin. Something in his chest unfolded, blocking out the darkness and anger.

“Everything is fine, Nate. Thanks for asking.”

Mattie gave him the glare she normally reserved for her husband before turning a sugar coated smile on the star. “Perhaps you could even sing with Nate.”

Jessie’s gorgeous smile turn stiff. “That sounds like fun, Mattie. But I probably won’t be around that long.”

“Think of what you’ll be doing for some needy family, dear. Sunday In The Park is a tradition that’s almost as old as the town. You’d be willing to stick around for it, even if your sweet mama was gone, wouldn’t you, Jessie?”

Nate stared at Mattie. Where did she get the gall? She didn’t even like Maude, probably wouldn’t show up for the funeral unless Josh physically dragged her there.

“I don’t know.” Jessie gave a little shrug. “Maybe you should ask Nate first.”

Nate reluctantly raised his gaze to her face. He could spend hours looking into her eyes. But singing side by side — did she have any idea what that would do to him?

She looked away, but not before he’d seen the sparkle of moisture in her eyes. He had proof that she was capable of going against everything humane and decent. So why did he still feel something for her?

“We’ll discuss it,” he finally said.

“Remember we’re setting up the stage tonight, Nate. Why don’t you bring Jessie along and give us your decision then.” Mattie turned back to Jessie. “Right now, though, I really, really want your autograph.”

Nate moved away from the crowd — from her — and headed toward the barn. At the edge of the red building, he turned back. Despite the people surrounding her, clamoring for her attention, she looked all alone.

After supper, Nate slammed his hat on his head, grabbed the keys off the kitchen counter, and headed for the garage. What he really wanted to do was disappear until Jessie returned to her life and his returned to normal. Instead, because of Mattie’s interference, he’d been coerced into spending the entire evening with his unwanted guest.

When had he lost control? The day Jessie walked out of his life forever or the day she walked back in?

Gravel scattered beneath the wheels of the truck as he backed the vehicle down the driveway and stopped in front of Sam’s house. Jessie didn’t move from where she sat on the porch swing. She didn’t jump to her feet, laughing and calling his name, and run down the steps to join him in the truck like she used to.

The memory of quiet evenings sitting next to her caught him by surprise and finally he understood why he’d fought her return to the ranch. He’d failed to banish the emotions he’d struggled so hard to deny. He’d allowed his heart to be held prisoner by the one woman he couldn’t ever forgive or trust again.

The edges of her mouth drooped. “Did you come to pack me off to the airport? Or are you going to sit there and glare at me all night?”

“Mattie’s waiting.”

His two word reply garnered a shrug, the movement nearly lost in the old jacket she’d draped around her shoulders. “Then you better get going, don’t you think?”

No way. After seeing her expression this afternoon, he wasn’t giving her an out. She needed to get away from the ranch, touch base with something normal in her life, as desperately as he needed to stay away from her. “You’re not going to play the prima donna star with me, sweetheart. Tonight you’re going to make nice with the neighbors.”