Always Yesterday (17 page)

“Lanie Lucas,” a pleasant voice called out. Delanie heard shuffling, and then the voice said, “I’ll show you into the doctor’s private office, where he does consults.”

Delanie heard the sound of shoes against a tile floor. The same voice said, “He’ll be in shortly.” And then nothing. Dead silence.

After what seemed like forever, she heard a brief knock and the squeak of a door. “Lanie Lucas, I’m Dr. Barnes.”

“This is my boyfriend, Ethan Farnsworth.”

“Mr. Farnsworth.”

Delanie could easily picture Eli’s expressions.

“I see you two aren’t in great financial shape to pay for this pregnancy.”

“No, sir.” Suzy came across as timid and unsure. “My parents aren’t exactly thrilled, either. They kicked me out, so we can’t count on their help.”

“Have you considered adoption?”

“Bingo!” Joe said.

“Well. . .” Suzy hesitated.

“That’s what I think we should do.” Eli spoke up.

“You know,” the doctor continued, “you can often ask for the baby’s expenses to be covered by the adoptive parents, things like the doctor and hospital bill.”

“How?” Suzy played the role well.

“I know a lawyer.” There was a pause. “Here’s his card. I’d recommend you meet with him and weigh your options.”

“If we meet with him, are we committed to adoption?”

“Good job, Suze.” Joe gave Delanie a thumbs-up.

“Not at all,” the doctor assured her in a good-old-boy voice. “You’re just checking out the possibilities, nothing more.”

“I think I’d like that. At least, like the doctor said, we’d know what our choices are.”

Eli’s voice brought with it a pang of regret for Delanie.
How I wish we had choices.

“Do we just call the number on this card?” he asked.

“No. The appointment has to be made through our office. He doesn’t take walk-ins. If you’d like, I can have my receptionist set it up for you.”

So that’s how it works.

“Sure,” Eli agreed.

“I don’t know.” Suzy was holding back.

Delanie thought they did a good job of sounding conflicted, like a true couple might.

“Remember—it’s only to see what opportunities are out there for both you and your child,” the doctor reminded her in a caring tone.

“Smooth, very smooth.” Joe shook his head in disgust.

“Excuse me. I’ll be but a moment.” They heard the click of a door, so Delanie assumed the doctor had left.

The office was silent while he was gone.

“I wish they’d argue like a real couple might, in case the place is bugged, which it probably is,” Joe commented amid the silence.

The door squeaked. “Mr. Benavides has an opening tomorrow morning. Why don’t you at least pay him a visit and hear what he has to say?” The man’s solicitous tone grated on Delanie. “He’s expecting you both, and please take your picture ID.”

“We’re in!” Joe yelled and high-fived Delanie. “Finally.”

Chapter 13

Delanie finished her jog and was walking her final mile to cool down. Today marked the beginning of the end. As they neared the finish line on the case, and she closed in on the termination of her partnership with Eli, she dealt with a plethora of emotions—anxiety, fear, regret, sorrow.

“God, don’t let this heartache be wasted. Use it to reveal more of Yourself and to refine me. More of You, less of me.” That was the constant cry of her heart, but she had such a long way to go.

Arriving at her town house, she fed her dogs and hopped in the shower. Tonight she and Courtney were meeting for dinner. Courtney thought they were discussing wedding details, but in truth Delanie planned an ambush. She’d invited a friend from high school to join them, a friend who’d married an unbeliever. She couldn’t just roll over without at least trying. When Courtney was fully informed and still chose Tad, that would be her business, but Delanie decided she needed all of the facts and felt God nudging her to supply them.

She met Courtney at a restaurant in Sparks, one they hadn’t been to before. She’d picked up Mickie on the way. Courtney was already seated when they arrived. Her surprise was evident when the two of them showed up.

“Courtney, this is an old friend from high school, Mickie Jordan, now Mickie Banks.”

Courtney hugged Delanie and sent Mickie a smile. “I remember you.” She slid back into the circular booth. “You were one of Delanie’s brainy friends.”

“Guilty as charged. We were on the debate team together.” Mickie adjusted her glasses.

Delanie slid into the booth first, and Mickie followed.

“Are you a wedding planner?” Courtney tried to piece the puzzle together.

Mickie giggled. “No. Sadly, I have no right brain at all. Wedding planning would debilitate me. I could never do something so creative, though I wish I could.”

“Mickie is a chemical engineer.” Delanie placed her napkin in her lap.

“Oh?” The question mark in Courtney’s tone grew. Her gaze settled on Delanie; she obviously expected an explanation.

Delanie picked up her menu. “Let’s order. I’m starving.” She wanted to wait until after the waiter came, figuring Courtney would be less likely to leave if she had food on the way.

They perused the menus in silence, and when the waiter returned, they each placed their order.

“Courtney, the reason I brought Mickie tonight has nothing to do with your wedding and everything to do with your groom.” Delanie paused to let the information sink in.

“What?” Courtney’s gaze shifted to Mickie. “Do you know Tad?”

“No, but I’m married to a guy just like him—a guy who doesn’t know God in a personal way.”

Anger settled over Courtney’s features, and her face reddened. Glaring at Delanie, she said, “I don’t appreciate your interference. It’s none of your business.”

Delanie wasn’t sure whether Courtney would stick around or not. Her posture indicated flight. “Courtney, please, please hear us out. I will never bring it up again, if only you will sit through this dinner with an open mind and open ears.”

“Why should I?” The pulse in the side of Courtney’s neck popped in and out.

“You told me I’m your oldest and dearest friend. If that’s true, then you know how much I love you.”

Courtney’s expression softened the tiniest bit.

Delanie inhaled a deep breath. “You say this is none of my business, but as your friend and your sister in the Lord, I have to, at the very least, arm you with all the facts. I
have
to be certain you understand the reality of saying ‘I do’ to a man who doesn’t share your faith.”

“Fair enough.” Courtney rearranged her silverware. “I’ll listen if you promise this is the end of your crusade. From this day forward you’ll accept my decision and be happy for me. You’re my maid of honor, and the least you can do is share in my excitement.”

Courtney was right. Delanie never should have accepted the position when she was so convinced of the wrongness of Courtney’s choice.
Too late to turn back now.
“I promise.” If Courtney plowed ahead, she wasn’t sure how she’d feign happiness, let alone excitement, but she would do her best. Nobody wanted a dour maid of honor.

“Okay.” Courtney accepted her iced tea from the waiter.

Then he placed a glass of ice water in front of Delanie and a diet soda next to Mickie’s silverware.

Delanie glanced at Mickie. “You’re on.”

Mickie smiled at Courtney. “I’m not here to talk you out of anything. As Delanie said, she wants you to make an informed decision, so I’ll share bits and pieces of my life with you. Feel free to ask me anything. I’m going to bare my soul and be honest.”

Courtney nodded, squeezing lemon into her tea.

“Just so you understand, I’m crazy about my husband. He’s a great guy—kind, thoughtful, generous to a fault. We have two little boys, and he’s a great dad, but who will teach my little guys to be godly husbands and fathers? Who is their role model to show them what a godly man looks like?”

Mickie paused, dabbing at the corner of her eye with a napkin. “Don’t get me wrong. He teaches them many wonderful things, like work ethic and integrity, but what are the chances my boys will carry their Christianity into adulthood? The hero of their lives models the message that church is for women and kids. Real men don’t need God. It’s hard enough to raise godly kids with two parents who love the Lord. The odds decrease by at least 50 percent with only one parent, especially if it’s not a parent of the same sex.”

Courtney listened, but Delanie thought her posture was defensive. This all felt so futile.

“Courtney, I know you don’t want to hear this, but at least think about what I’m saying. It can be a lonely life. There’s this huge emptiness.”

The waiter brought their salads.

“I hear what you’re saying, but Tad does go to church. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. . .” Courtney stirred her tea.

“I meet with a group of women in the same boat. A lot of their husbands went to church for a while and then grew tired of it. Now those women go alone.”

Delanie spoke up. “Courtney, most men will do anything in the wooing process, but when the honeymoon is over and reality settles in, people change.”

“She’s right,” Mickie said. “I’m reading a book titled
Spiritually Single
. Why don’t you at least read it before the wedding? The author is crazy about her husband, but she faced a long and lonely trek for many years. It will give you an idea of what you might face in the days and years ahead.”

“I’ll think about it.” Courtney studied Mickie. “Tell me something—would you marry him all over again?”

Mickie sighed. “That’s a really hard question. I love him. We have history and children. Do I relish the spiritual loneliness? No. Do I love the man? With all my heart. If I knew then what I know now, I’d never have said yes to the first date.”

“But I already said yes—to the first date, to falling in love, and to his proposal. I think I’m in too deep to turn back now.”

Now it was Courtney’s turn to dab her eyes. Delanie joined her.

“It’s not too late until you’ve signed the license.” Mickie gave Courtney’s hand a squeeze.

“Sometimes I am afraid.” Courtney’s gaze shifted from one to the other. “And I wonder if I’m making the biggest mistake of my life, but it’s too late.” Courtney paused and swallowed hard. “I’ve given too much of myself, my heart and other things that I can’t get back. I won’t change my mind now.”

A deep sorrow settled over Delanie. She’d tried and failed. For better or for worse, Courtney would yoke herself to Tad.

Mickie also seemed to sense the futility of their mission. She said nothing more. They shifted into small talk and finished their meal. Delanie prayed she could keep her promise. Her emotions were at the opposite end of the spectrum from happy and excited. Even worse, she sensed Courtney’s were, as well.

❧

“Months of hard work are coming to an end,” Eli announced in Sarge’s office the next morning.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Sarge glanced up from the folder of paperwork. “This is what we live for—the bust. Beating criminals at their own game and sending men who think they’re above the law up the river for a very long time.”

“You sound positively thrilled.” Delanie grinned.

“I am. I hate people who think they can do as they please with no personal cost. These men have gotten very rich preying on young girls and poor families. Nothing will make me happier than seeing them behind bars. Adding murder to the mix only increases the length of their stay.”

Delanie sighed. “If only it were that easy, that cut-and-dried. Sadly, we all know this is just the beginning.”

“Now we hope for a jury to see things our way.” Eli finished cleaning his gun and returned it to the holster under his pant leg. Then he retrieved the pistol from under his arm. His heart beat faster in anticipation. He, like Sarge, lived for this moment. The bust made the hours of boring stakeouts worth it.

He no longer feared being partnered with Delanie, not in light of her skill and ability on the job. He did, however, fear the damage she’d done to his heart. He knew she wanted another partner as much as he did, so if they made an arrest today, this could end up being their last day together.

The thought brought mixed feelings—sorrow and relief. Nevertheless, he’d see her around. She wouldn’t avoid the youth center forever, though a part of him wished she would. He was sure running into her in the future would be a mixed bag.

What he dreaded was the day he ran into her with another guy or the day he heard she was marrying someone else. Eli sighed and checked his chamber.
Time heals all wounds.
Eli knew from personal experience God healed better than time did. He’d made more progress in the past week than in the past two decades.

Smiling, he wondered how Delanie might react when she finally heard his testimony. Her dad promised he’d get her to the center on Saturday. For some reason it was important to Eli that she hear his story, that she know her prayers made a difference. If not for Delanie, he doubted he ever would have given God a second chance. He supposed his unrequited love was worth that.