Always Yesterday (19 page)

Eli lowered himself onto the stair, gently cradling Delanie. His left hand that lay just under her rib cage was wet and gooey, covered in her blood. “Oh, dear God, please help her.”

“Officer down! I repeat, officer down.” One of the two patrolmen knelt over George’s still form. The other yelled into his radio. “Shots fired! Send an ambulance! Now!”

Eli sat very still, trying to support her without moving. She was losing blood at a steady rate.

“Please don’t die,” he whispered. It took all his willpower not to sob.

Delanie opened her dazed eyes. “I’m. . .sorry. So. . .very. . .sorry.”

“Shh.” He caressed her cheek. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever known.”

She moved her head to the side. “My. . .fault. Sorry.”

Breathing seemed increasingly difficult for Delanie. “Where are the paramedics?” Eli asked in a loud whisper.

“On their way,” the other officer promised. He had joined Eli and was leaning over Delanie.

“Hang tough, Delanie. They’re almost here. You’ll be fine.” How Eli wished he truly believed his own words.

“Forgive. . .me?” Her eyes were glazed over. “Let. . .you. . .down.”

“No.” He fought the tears. He must be brave for her.

“E?” She gasped for breath.

“I’m right here.” He stroked her hair.

“Love. . .you. . .t. . .” Her body went limp in his arms.

“Get somebody here now!”
Dear God, please don’t let her die. Please.

The paramedics ran up the stairs, carrying a gurney. Eli moved out of their way.

“She’s in respiratory arrest with a weak and thready pulse.”

The words nearly stopped Eli’s heart.

“Bag her.”

They slipped a mask over Delanie’s face and squeezed an air bag, letting the air flow in and out. The paramedic literally breathed for her with his hands.

“Let’s go. We need to get her in.”

“Will she be all right?”
Please say yes.

“It’s touch and go. She’s lost a lot of blood.” They carefully lifted her to the stretcher. “We’ve got to get her to the ER. She needs a chest tube inserted.” They strapped her down and wheeled her out. Eli followed until Sarge grabbed his arm.

“Come with me. They’re taking her to St. Mary’s. I’ll give you a ride.”

The ambulance shot out from the drive in front of the building, the siren screeching.

“She may not make it.” Tears ran down Eli’s cheeks. “They said touch and go.”

Sarge put his big hand on Eli’s shoulder. “Pray. It’s our best option.”

Never has been for me.
He hated feeling that way. Then he echoed a prayer he’d read recently in his Bible.
Lord, help my unbelief.

“She said she loved me. Do you think she meant it?” Eli watched the ambulance until it disappeared from his sight.

“She did,” Sarge assured him without hesitation. “I can guarantee she did.”

When they arrived at the ER, Chief Cooper was already there, his face ashen. Eli wondered if her dad would hate him for not protecting Delanie better.

“Eli, Joe.” Chief Cooper came over and gave both men a hug. “They’ve taken her in to insert two chest tubes. I got here before the ambulance arrived. I caught a glimpse of her. She looks bad.” His shoulders sagged. “What they know at this point is that she has hemothorax and pneumothorax, both the result of a collapsed lung.”

“What does that mean?” Sarge asked.

“She has blood and air in her chest cavity due to the bullet wound and the nonfunctioning lung. The chest tubes will reinflate the lung. Once that’s done and she stabilizes, they’ll take her to surgery and remove the bullet.”

Marilyn Cooper, a woman not much bigger than her daughter, rushed through the sliding doors and straight into the chief’s arms. Once in his embrace, she wept uncontrollably.

Eli decided to give them some space. “I think I’ll find the chapel.”

“I’ll join you.” Sarge followed.

“I’m terrified she’s going to die.” He whispered his greatest fear as they followed the signs to the hospital chapel.

“Me, too.” Sarge’s voice broke. “It’s this way.” He veered right. “I was here almost a year ago, praying for you while you were in surgery.”

The news touched Eli. “Thank you.” He patted the big guy’s back. Then his thoughts returned to Delanie. “I was so wrong about her.” He settled into one of the blue padded chairs and rested his head in his hands. “I was afraid I’d have to take a bullet for her. I never guessed she’d take one for me.”

“What happened?”

Eli focused on the stained-glass window at the front of the room. “She was behind me on the steps. When she saw him aim the gun, she jumped in front of me and fired.”

“Sounds intentional.”

“She was protecting me.” He stood, running his hands through his hair. “I should have been the one protecting her. Then she apologized for letting me down, but the entire fault is mine. When I heard the door open, I shifted my gaze for a split second. He’d have shot me, and I never would have seen it coming.” He returned to his chair. “Maybe if I hadn’t been so hard on her in the beginning, she wouldn’t have felt the need to prove herself.”

“Eli, sometimes heroics are instinctual. This isn’t the first time Delanie’s risked her life for the job. Probably would have been her gut reaction no matter how you treated her early on.”

“You think?” He wanted to grab hold of that idea and believe it with all his heart.

“I know, and I also know she thought you were pretty terrific.”

Eli didn’t feel terrific. All he knew was, given the chance, he’d go back and do it all differently, everything except loving her.

“Why do you believe that when Delanie said she loved me she meant it?”

“When people face death, that’s when they are the most honest.”

Eli supposed Sarge was right. They spent some time in prayer together. It was Eli’s first time to pray aloud in front of another person, but it came much easier than he thought it would.

When they finished, Sarge gazed at him through squinted eyes. “I didn’t realize you’d become a man of faith.”

“Just happened last week. I haven’t even told Delanie yet—wanted to surprise her. The chief asked me to share my story at the center tomorrow. Now she may never know. . . .”

“She’ll know, Eli. Whatever happens, she’ll know.” Sarge rose. “Let’s go see if there’s an update.”

The prayer time calmed Eli. In the midst of it he’d come to terms with God’s right to choose Delanie’s future. He concluded that whatever happened, he’d survive it with God. This time he’d fight for his faith, not walk away from it. But his continual plea was a second chance to share his newfound faith with Delanie. The changes brewing within sometimes surprised him.

Back in the ER waiting room, Delanie’s family huddled together in a cluster of chairs, talking in soft tones. Eli hung back, feeling like an intruder. Sarge moved in and took a seat next to her brother Cody. “Any word?”

The chief searched the area and, when he spotted Eli, motioned for him to join them. He took the chair next to Chief Cooper. Eli had met the whole family at one time or another at the center. They all welcomed him now with compassionate looks or nods. No one seemed to blame him—no one except himself. Delanie had a great team rooting for her.

“Delanie is in surgery. God was with our girl today.” The chief’s voice was deep and raspy. “They say the bullet must have ricocheted rather than a dead-on shot and then entered low in her chest, hit and broke a rib before lodging against a posterior rib, just above her diaphragm. It’s the best-case scenario for a gunshot to the chest. That was God’s protection. The doctor said if she’d been one step lower, chances are the bullet would have hit her heart for sure.”

Eli liked the way this family looked at life. He’d learned much from the whole brood. Before, instead of seeing the blessing, he’d have been mad that God let it happen. Through the teaching and testimonies at the center, he’d learned that what he’d wanted before was a fairy godmother as opposed to a sovereign Lord. He’d wanted to call the shots and wanted God to do the work, his way.

When the doctor came out a couple of hours later, everyone jumped up and surrounded him.

“We got the bullet and stopped the bleeding. No major vessels were hit. Your daughter must have a guardian angel, because the damage was minimal, considering.”

God again!
Eli decided their thinking was contagious, and he’d caught it.

“Don’t get me wrong—she’s still listed in critical condition.” The doctor looked around at the group that had gathered. “But from a medical standpoint, the fact that she’s alive is amazing.”

The doctor’s words gave Eli hope.

“You may go back two at a time. But let me warn you—she’s hooked up to a lot of monitors and machines. Don’t let them frighten you. She’s yet to regain consciousness, so don’t expect a personal greeting. One last thing—she lost a lot of blood and is white as a ghost. Expect it—it’s normal at this point.”

The doctor led Delanie’s parents into the intensive care unit. Eli realized he probably wouldn’t get to go back. The sign said immediate family only; he should just pack it up and go home, but he couldn’t bear to leave. Somehow he felt closer to her here.

About fifteen minutes later, her parents returned. They filled everyone in on how she looked and reiterated what they should all expect.

Eli still wrestled with what he should do. Should he stay? Should he go? He really didn’t belong here. He wasn’t family, and as of late he and Delanie weren’t even friends.

He approached the chief. “I, uh. . .should go.”

“Don’t you at least want to see her first?” The chief’s brows shot up.

Eli pointed. “The sign says immediate family only.”

Her dad smiled and placed his hand on Eli’s shoulder. “You are family. You’re my spiritual son, and we’re all brothers and sisters in the Lord. But more than that, Delanie would want you here. You’re her partner and her friend.” He gave Eli’s shoulder a squeeze. “I thought Cody and Brady could go in next, then you and Sarge.”

“Thank you.” Surprised by how much the small gesture touched him, he felt as if he finally belonged somewhere, and belonging was a good feeling.

At the top of the next hour, her brothers went in for their short time with Delanie.

When they returned, Chief Cooper gathered everyone in a huddle. “I thought after we’ve each seen her for a few minutes we could take shifts sitting with her.” He’d slipped into his cop persona, taking charge and having a plan. “Since there are eight of us, maybe each of us could take a three-hour segment over the next twenty-four-hour period. Of course we can only sit with her for the fifteen-minute stint at the start of each hour.” Her dad glanced at Eli. “But only if each of you wants to—feel absolutely no obligation.” All of them agreed they wanted their names added to the roster. Eli took the 3:00 to 6:00 a.m. time slot, leaving the better hours for her family.

A couple of hours later, he and Sarge finally got their turn and went back to Delanie’s room. Eli stopped in the doorway, unprepared to see her so vulnerable. She lay there so small and fragile among all of the tubes and machines. Her skin tone gave the white sheets competition as to which was paler.

Sarge picked the chair on the far side of the bed. He laid his hand on Delanie’s and hung his head. Eli knew he was praying

Gaining a new sense of purpose, Eli settled in the other chair on the opposite side of her bed. Resting his forehead against the rail of her bed, he carefully laid his hand on her arm. Her skin was cool against his fingers. He, too, beseeched God on Delanie’s behalf.

A little beep on Sarge’s watch indicated their time was over, and he rose and stretched. The day had now worn into evening, but Eli wasn’t ready to leave yet. “Do you mind if I take an extra minute with her?”

“Go ahead. I’ll be in the waiting room.”

Eli stood next to her head and leaned in near her ear. “Delanie,” he whispered in a shaky voice. “I’ve invited Jesus to be part of my life. I wanted to surprise you tomorrow with my testimony, but they say you’ll be busy tomorrow. So I absolutely had to tell you—I know your Jesus.” He longed to say so much more, but the last time he’d bared his feelings to her, she hadn’t wanted to hear.

He touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers and decided he’d say it anyway. She’d never know. “I love you, Delanie Cooper.” His tears returned. One dropped onto her pillow. He bent over and kissed her cheek. “And I know you don’t feel the same way about me, but I needed to say it out loud, just this one time. My life has radically changed—thanks to God and you.” He forced himself to walk away, but just before he did, he kissed the tips of his fingers and tenderly touched her lips.

When Eli returned to the waiting room, Delanie’s brothers talked him into a game of Battleship. Eli was grateful he’d been invited right into the midst of things. He’d take whatever they gave him, hungry for this type of connection and acceptance.

When the game ended, Eli was tired. He tried to get comfortable in the vinyl padded chairs to grab a catnap, but it wasn’t happening. Many of the guys on the force came by, as well as the volunteers from the center and many people from the Coopers’ church.