Amelia's Story (Box Set the Complete Series Books 1 & 2) (13 page)

The best way to get through your days was to not stand out in any way, shape, or form. If you were smelly you would be bullied; if you looked different you would be bullied; if you were a grass and you were found out then your life would be a very tough one. If you were well behaved you would be picked on; occasionally there would be the odd riot for one reason or another and if you did not join in you would know about it. All in all you could never do right for wrong by someone’s eyes. If you were to do right by one person, then this act would annoy another. You had to be pretty quick and very clever to survive your time in care and come out the other end intact.

One day we were all informed of a new arrival. A girl called Josie, a similar age to me was being sent from another children’s home far away. Josie arrived much later in the day. She was tall and feisty and as I learned over time, she was hilarious. I took to her immediately. We soon became good friends and were to become inseparable in the days that followed. Josie was the confident one out of the two of us, and a force to be reckoned with. She was great and life became a lot more eventful once she had arrived. Josie was a breath of fresh air and I really liked her, she made me laugh all the time.

Josie and I were always getting up to mischief after lights were out and the remaining members of staff who were on night duty were settled in the staff room, writing their daily reports. This is when we would sneak out of our bedrooms and make our way to the kitchen at the end of the long wide corridor. This required some skill on our part as the kitchen was always locked; however, we had mastered the art of picking the old locks inside the building, all that was needed was a hair clip and we were home dry! One of us would keep look-out while the other picked the lock. Once we were in the kitchen we would make ourselves a midnight feast to be proud of, quite often the other children would sneak into the kitchen to join us.

We always had a two hour window before it was time for the night watchmen to complete their rounds – these were performed every two hours throughout the night until the morning staff came on duty. During this time we would all feed our tummies until we were bursting and then we would lock the kitchen up again and make our way to one of the girl’s rooms for a chat. If ever we got caught, which was fairly often we would be punished and put on short term scrubs for a couple of days, with all privileges taken away. Scrubs were not so bad during the summer months. Donned in the custom shorts and t-shirts and lace-less plimsolls, we would sweep all the yards during the day, not be allowed to watch a movie before bed, and we were not allowed to eat with the other children at meal times. I had become quite familiar with the routine of scrubs as I often ran away and was always caught. I would be brought straight back and of course placed on scrubs.

Josie and I were always running away from Bryn Tyn and on one occasion we managed to make our way to Liverpool to Josie’s Aunt’s house, but we were soon to be returned to Bryn Tyn. Our punishment this time was one whole month on kitchen duty; however, we had other plans. Within a week we had runaway again; this time to Shropshire to my mother’s in the hope that she would listen to my request to see Jake again. We hitched a lift from a passing lorry driver who was kind enough to drop us off in Shropshire and share his sandwiches along the way.

Once we reached my mother’s house we were greeted with a very shocked mother
, who fed us, then called the children’s home to inform them we had arrived at her house.

A couple of hours later, we were picked up by a member of staff who made it quite clear we were in big trouble. Josie and I sat in the back of the van on the way back whispering to each other about our fate on our return. Josie and I were kindred spirits - we got each other, we totally understood each other, we thought alike and had the same sense of humour. She made my days happier because she was so funny and we were always getting up to something! We always looked out for one another and had each other’s back all the time.

We finally reached Bryn Tyn and were escorted straight into the office for another reprimand. As usual we were stripped of our privileges, which by now were not many due to the number of times we had runaway! We were to be put on scrubs for two weeks, no pocket money and meals were to be taken separate from everyone else, no trips into town at the weekend, and no possibility of earning extra money either. All in all we were just scrubbing the floors for the next two weeks in a pair of shorts and t-shirt.

Once we completed our punishment we were back on normal privileges, except “trust” we would not have this privilege for a very long time. We stayed put for a while and tried to blend into the background. I often wondered how I would be living my life if I had been born into a normal loving family. I wondered about the family holidays, the Christmas get-togethers, the family gatherings, all the things I still longed for, but knew this was never to be. This was all I knew, life within the confines of the care system. After a while you become institutionalised, although you dream of a life outside in the world, you also become to fear it, you start to feel differently, you feel as if everybody can tell just by looking at you that you are from a children’s home.

You worry about their immediate judgment of you. Most people just assume you must have done something wrong, or they keep a safe distance from you. The truth is that most children in care homes are there for their own safety, and then sadly abused by the very people that are there to protect them. I had suffered with bouts of depression throughout my time in the care homes. One day I would just wake up smothered by a choking black cloud, my abyss. I would feel so low that it often brought me to near suicide, I would feel total despair. I could not understand why it would be such a bad thing at times; after all, living in a world without love for most of your life would inevitably affect anyone eventually.

I was a teenager now, 14-years-old, and all I had known was one children’s home after another. Some were bad and some not so bad, but these places all had one thing in common; they were all filled to the brim, near bursting in fact, with desperate children all wanting the love and attention from someone. All wanted to be seen and all wanted to be heard. The truth was
, every child in care has a desperate story to tell filled with sadness and rejection, abuse and violence. We all wanted to be noticed. when a member of staff talks to you and listens to you for a while or shows a little compassion towards you, it’s fair to say you will then shadow that person like a dog trying everything they can to please their master. And I was no different; I would latch on to a member of staff that showed me any kindness like my life depended on it.

When I was shrouded in depression I would write poems - lots of them. I was able to communicate very well how I was feeling on paper; this helped me so much during my darkest days. One particular poem I wrote went like this:

When my destiny is in my hands,
I promise to appreciate all of my life.
When my destiny is in my hands
I promise never to cause any strife.

When my destiny is in my hands
I promise to love and appreciate my friends.
When my destiny is in my hands
I promise to be true until the end.

When my destiny is finally in my own hands
the first thing for me is to travel the land.

One particular day, I was in the games room playing table tennis with another boy and in walked my arch enemy, Donna. She was bored and decided it would be great fun to pick on me and embarrass me in front of the other children. I decided to walk out and ignore her, which was the only way to deal with her, except this time she followed me.

I ran into Ainsley unit to find safety amongst the staff but I could not see any. I shouted at her to leave me alone but she just ignored me, and started jumping on me, thumping me in the head. I let her do her worst and then ran to my room sobbing, before she left me she warned me not to grass on her or I would receive more of the same.

The Great Escape

I told my new friends Liam and Paul what had happened as they would often fall prey to her bullying ways too, and it was then when they told me they had been planning to escape and run away. They invited me to join them and I jumped at the chance. Liam was from Shropshire like me, so we decided to walk all the way to Shropshire from Bryn Tyn following the river seven and the A5. We waited for a couple of days until it was the weekend as there was always less staff on duty at the weekends, which made it a lot easier to escape. We had all packed our runaway kit which consisted of crisps, chocolate, a can of pop, some fruit, and our pocket money. This time it was going to be different - we were not going to get caught. We were not going to run to anybody we knew, we were going to survive alone and find somewhere to live once we arrived in Shropshire.

On the Saturday morning after breakfast, we went to collect our weekly pocket money. We told the staff that we were going to play by the stream at the end of the fields by the woods. We went to our rooms, collected our bags, dressed accordingly in preparation for our long journey and then we all met down by the stream. We were all very excited and knew we would be in a lot of trouble if we got caught this time as they had started coming down hard on runaways.

Once we were all present we just looked at each other and started running, all the while laughing with excitement. We crossed the wide stream and climbed up the bank on the other side and followed the track through the woods until we reached the main road. We found our way to the river and started walking towards Shropshire - we all knew the way, we had all run away many times and then made the return journey by car silently just staring at the signs on the way back. It was a warm summers day and after a few miles we stopped for lunch and sat along the river side eating our crisps, we then decided it would be great fun to go swimming in the river, so we all stripped down to our underwear and splashed about in the river for the longest time. Eventually, we all climbed out again and lay down on the grass to dry off.

After some time we started walking again, we were singing along the way totally oblivious to everything around us including the police car up ahead on the main road which had pulled over. The two policemen had already climbed out of their car and were heading straight towards us; it was Liam that spotted them,

“
Run for it
,” he shouted.

We all looked up and spotted the men in blue and started running like we had never run before. We soon lost them and slowed down to a walking pace to catch our breath. By this time we knew it would not be long before night time set in so we started looking for somewhe
re to bed down for the night. After a mile or so we spotted a farm up ahead with quite a few out houses attached. We decided to check it out as this looked to be the perfect place for the night.

As we approached the farm we were very careful not be seen and raise an alarm, we bent down and ran under the window of the farm house which appeared to be empty; I peered through the window and could not see anyone. We walked around to the back of the farm house and saw that the back door to the kitchen was ajar. We made our way slowly towards the door looking around all the time in case anyone was coming. We all sneaked into the large country kitchen, it was huge, and there were large pots and pans everywhere. But what interested us the most was the large uncut loaf on the side and the large plate of cheese –
dinner
, we all thought in unison!

We grabbed the bread and cheese and ran out of the back door; we looked around and ran towards one of the three barns situated up ahead. We chose the barn furthest away and with a good view so we could see who was coming at any time from most directions. We all slipped in through the barn door which consisted mostly of bales of hay, perfect just perfect. We all put our bags down and made ourselves comfortable. The only thing we did not have was water or a drink of any kind. One of us would have to go back to the farmhouse and fetch some water or milk from the fridge. Liam was the eldest and volunteered, thank goodness as I was far too scared, and knowing my luck I would be caught.

Liam made his way back to the farm house. He was nearly at the back door when a large pot bellied man came walking around the corner. Liam acted very quickly and ducked down behind the tractor, waiting while the man walked towards the field which kept at the very least 40 sheep.

Paul suddenly spoke in a panic, “
Amelia look over there
.”

A lady was approaching the tractor and Liam had not seen her. “Oh no, what are we going to do now?” I said. Then all of a sudden Liam rolled under the tractor just in time as the lady walked past and into the farmhouse.

“
Phew that was lucky
,” said Paul.

“
Yes quite
,” I replied, we allowed ourselves to breathe again.

Liam stayed under the tractor for over 30 minutes, until the lady came back out again, and then he ran into the farmhouse kitchen and back out again in quick time, armed with a full bottle of milk and a packet of biscuits. We were very proud of him. We each sat on a bale of hay and ate our sumptuous dinner of bread, cheese, and biscuits, washed down with some fresh cold milk. As dusk crept up on us we looked around the barn for a safe place to sleep where we would not be seen. We all agreed on climbing the ladder to the floor above and sleeping at the very back under the hay. It was warm and out of sight and that was all we needed.

The following morning we all stood up, and we shook ourselves free of all the hay that was imbedded just about everywhere. We finished off the remaining bread and cheese from the night before and then set off once more on our journey. Again we chose to follow the line of the river, as for the most part we were out of sight of the main road. This was now day two of our great escape and we were all feeling very proud of ourselves. We followed the river all day, until we all agreed it was now safe enough to climb up on to the main road and carry on towards Shrewsbury. We had accomplished half of our journey already; it was the weekend and no one would think it strange that a small group of 14-year-olds were walking along the roadside. We took advantage of this and continued on our way.

We were all feeling rather hungry again as the last meal we had eaten was at breakfast. My tummy had been rumbling for over an hour already. Just up ahead we could see a garage which also sold sweets and crisps. Without any discussion we upped our pace and headed straight towards the busy garage. We stocked up on crisps, pop, chocolate, and the boys bought 10 John Player special cigarettes, as they were both smokers and had not had a smoke all day. We parked ourselves on a wall, re-fuelling our hungry tummies.

Liam made a suggestion and thought it would be a great idea if we thumbed a lift for the rest of the way. I was not at all keen on the idea and told the boys that I will be walking all the way to Shropshire no matter what, and continued to remind them of the dangers that could befall you if you thumbed a lift. This was enough of a deterrent and it was agreed we would continue to walk the last leg of our journey.

As we approached
Shrewsbury Town, we were all feeling rather tired and weary so decided that we would stay in the town for the night. Where we would all sleep was anyone’s guess. We started looking around for empty shops and vacant buildings. We must have circled half the town before we happened upon an old derelict building which sported a great huge DANGER sign all over it. None of us questioned the immediate danger this building could place us in; we just saw this as our only hope for a place to sleep for the night.

We all tugged at the corrugated iron sheets which were nailed tight over the window, and when we had pulled it back far enough for us to fit through, we each carefully climbed through the hole and made our way into the large dank room that greeted us. The room was filthy; there were already a couple of old dirty mattresses lying on the floor nevertheless, we decided to investigate upstairs as it could not possibly be any worse.

As we made our way up the broken steps, we were mindful of treading carefully or we could end up with a broken leg or two. As we neared the top, we could hear a rustling sound coming from the other end of the building. We all stopped dead in our tracks, not knowing whether to carry on or to make a run for it. We stayed like that for a few seconds, then Liam decided he would investigate and told Paul and me to stay put. He quietly made his way up the last couple of steps and then he was out of sight. All we could hear was Liam walking around and the floor boards creaking. Then we could hear talking. Liam shouted down to us to come up that everything was okay. We climbed to the top and made our way to the back of the building

Liam was talking to a rather scruffy man, who smelt very bad. The few teeth he owned were either black or cracked, he had on a long dirty grey coat, which was covered in stains and looked like it had never been cleaned. He had made himself at home on the top floor of the building with an old chair, an old mattress, and some old blankets. He had a few meager belongings in a brown box and that was it, this was his home for now. He went on to explain that he was one of life’s wanderers, he liked the open road, and spent his life moving from one place to another, and taking advantage of any opportunity that came his way.

Liam told him our story and that we needed somewhere to stay for the night, that this old building seemed perfect if it was okay with him. The vagrant looked all three of us up and down, then mumbled to himself for a while, and finally agreed we could share the building for the night. I could not sleep that night I didn’t feel safe and kept one eye on the vagrant at all times, although I had no real reason to fear him. He was far more interested in the bag of chips he had begged from the chip shop down the road just before it closed.

The following morning we all got up early, straightened ourselves out and then decided to start on our journey once more. We said goodbye to the grumpy vagrant who just mumbled as we made our way down the stairs. When we found our way out of the window and onto the street we looked at each other and I spoke first, “
I’m starving. Liam
let’s get some breakfast
.
” Liam and Paul agreed and we all pooled our money together and we had the grand total of £7, so we needed to make it last.

There was a café across the road and we hurried towards it as our empty stomachs were crying out for food. We all took a seat and waited for the lady to come over. She was very chirpy and waited patiently while we counted out our money and then decided on our order; we all chose a sausage and egg sandwich accompanied by a mug of tea. The lady smiled and took our order, she said, “There’s no need to pay until afterwards.”

We were to make our way up to the till and pay once we had all finished. Liam suggested we make a run for it, “This would be so easy let’s just run.” I was not so keen; however, I understood that this would save us at least £3, so that was that, decision made.

After we had finished our breakfast we waited for the lady to go out back into the kitchen, and then we made a run for it. I felt very bad about not paying because the lady was so nice to us, but our need to eat and survive while we were all on the run was tantamount to us getting through each day. We needed to be frugal with what little money we had left and we needed to seize every opportunity that arose. There was nothing worse than being hungry, and I had experienced this feeling on several occasions.

Now our bellies were full to the brim! We knew we would be able to walk for miles quite happily. As we were leaving Shrewsbury Town near the Sears Hall building, we noticed a car slowing down up ahead. It was not a police car so we carried on walking towards it. As we approached it two men got out. They called out our names and it was then that we realised they were plain clothed policemen. We just turned on our heels and ran; Paul tripped over and only just escaped the long arm of the law!

We had no idea where we were when we finally stopped. We looked around and could not see any signs, just fields everywhere we looked. It was a very beautiful sight, they were like green and brown blankets covering the earth all laid out in neat squares like a patch work quilt. We all sat down for a while to catch our breath.

“Amelia, do you have any idea where we are?” Liam asked.

“
I have no idea Liam, I suggest we pop into that little shop and ask them,” I replied.

We headed over to the shop, and I took it up on myself to ask for directions to
Shropshire. The lady advised me we were already in Shropshire and asked where specifically we were headed. I told her Iron Bridge. “Ah, that’s not too far, I’d say about 10
miles from here
.
”

We were all so happy; we had nearly made it to
Iron Bridge. I could not believe it, we had walked all the way from North Wales and we were on the home stretch now, this information boosted our moral and we picked up our pace. We bounced along with a kick in our step singing songs along the way. We were on home territory now and it felt good to be in familiar surroundings.

Eventually, after three hours or so, we reached our destination and made our way to the estate we were all too familiar with.

We decided to squat in one of the boarded up council houses (and there were many). We were careful not to be seen by someone who just may recognise us. We went in search for an empty house. After what seemed like an eternity we found one just beyond the community centre and it was just perfect for now; the important thing for all of us was having somewhere to stay, somewhere we could hide out, somewhere we felt safe.