American Made (Against the Tides #2) (17 page)

“Emerson.” She ignores me, and I try to ignore the ache in my chest when I look at her. She doesn’t move from where she’s curled into the fetal position facing the back of the couch. 

I’ve never seen her like this and based on what Knox has told me, he’s never even seen her cry. I stand there for a second trying to figure out what to do because she won’t move or speak to me. Stepping around the coffee table, I slide one arm under her knees and the other under her back. The second I lift her off the couch she turns into me and sobs against my neck after wrapping her arms around me.

I settle into the corner of the couch with her on my lap. Slowly, I run my hands up and down her back until her breathing finally evens out when she falls asleep. Flipping the TV on, I hit mute and relax because there is no way in hell that I’m moving her now that she’s asleep and not crying. 

“I don’t like it when you’re sappy like this,” she mumbles a little while later.

“I don’t like it when you’re cryin’,” I whisper into her hair. “I’ll be cocky again tomorrow.”

“Ari, Envy, and Knox are gonna hate me. I didn’t tell them anything. They didn’t even know that I had a brother.”

“They’ll understand, Emerson, everyone has secrets.”

“You’re supposed to be on your way to Maine with the guys right now,” she mumbles through a yawn.

I shrug, tightening my arms around her and kiss her temple. “You’re more important than Rush’s birthday.”

Emerson pushes off my lap and out of the room with nothing but a shake of her head. Instead of letting her walk away from me without a fight, I follow her. I can see how ashamed she feels in the way she carries herself. Pulling the front door open, she waves at me to go through. I stare blankly at her. If she thinks for even a second that I’m leaving her here alone she’s got another thing coming.

“Go.” She demands. Ignoring her, I step back and drop down on the stairs. “I refuse to let you stay home simply because you feel sorry for me. Go. I’ll be fine and I’ll see you in a week.”

When I still don’t move or say anything she storms over to me and grabs my arm, attempting to pull me off the stairs. Normally she wouldn’t have an issue moving me and the fact that she can’t right now proves how worn out she is. I pull her into my lap, wrapping my arms tightly around her until she stops struggling to get away. Her body shakes as she tries to keep herself from crying. I don’t want her to hold back because she’s ashamed of what has happened. I don’t want her to hide what she’s going through just because I’m here.

“I’m not stayin’ because I feel sorry for you, Emerson. I’m stayin’ because you shouldn’t have to go through this shit alone.”

She peels my arms away from her body and stands up so she can get away from me. Crossing her arms over her chest, she shuts down and any hint of emotion vanishes from her face.

“This is how I’ve always dealt with shit, Gentry. I don’t need someone holdin’ my hand now. Everyone seems to think I’m breakable now but I’m not. I don’t need time off of work to process everything that happened. I’m not
that
girl!” she screams.

“I know!” I yell back at her as I stand up. “That’s why I love you! Because you aren’t that girl!”

Emerson’s eyes widen when what I say hits her. I didn’t even mean to say it, it just came out. I’ve never said that shit to anyone before and I figured when I finally did I would have a hard time getting the words out. I guess not. I didn’t think I would be saying them while arguing about letting me help her through what she’s going through, either. Everything with Emerson is different than I expect it to be. It’s easy even when I think it should be the hardest thing I’d ever do. 

I can tell she’s trying not to freak out so I ignore what I just said and stomp up the stairs to her bedroom. Ripping open the closet door, I grab the suitcase off the top shelf and toss it on the bed before grabbing clothes from the hangers.

“What the hell are you doin’?” she growls when she walks through the door.

Not bothering to look at her, I continue to toss clothes over my shoulder before moving to her dresser. Normally I would take my time running my fingers over the lace that fills this drawer, but normally it would be on her body when I did it. Right now I just grab a handful and throw it in the pile.

“If you wanna deal with this shit alone, that’s fine. I’ll let you deal with it alone. In Maine. With your friends.”

“No!” Grabbing the shit I just tossed on the bed, she tosses it back into the drawer and glares at me. “When did what we’re doin’ become a dictatorship?”

I spin around and stomp toward her. If she were any other woman, she’d walk backwards to get away from me, but Emerson… Emerson just balls her fists and glares up at me. I grab her arms so she doesn’t try to hit me. I know she’s spent her life fighting for what she believes in, but I don’t want her to fight being with me.

“It’s not a dictatorship, Emerson. It’s a relationship. I know you’ve always dealt with shit alone, but you don’t have to anymore.”

She shakes her head like she doesn’t believe me, but her stance doesn’t change. “You’re just pissed off because I didn’t tell you about Sam.”

Taking a chance, I slide my hands up her arms and hold her face. My thumbs run along her jaw as I watch the emotions roll through her eyes. “I’m not mad. Am I upset that you didn’t think you could trust me with that shit and I had to find out through a video? Yeah… but do you actually think I’m pissed off over you not tellin’ me something that people you’ve known years longer don’t even know?”

Emerson tries to pull away from me but I don’t let her so she averts her eyes, looking anywhere else.

“I’m not tellin’ you that you have to go,” I whisper. “I’m askin’ you to come with me. I know you’re not the girl that’s gonna break down when bad shit happens. I know you don’t wanna talk about feelings and shit; I don’t like to either. It’s why we get along as well as we do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna be there for you. I want you to be able to turn to me when shit gets rough without it makin’ you feel weak. I want you to
want
to come to me.”

“You can’t tell me you hate talkin’ about feelings and then tell me you want me to talk to you about them. It makes no sense. You’re contradicting yourself just to get what you want.”

Stubborn fucking woman.

“You’re the exception, Emerson. You have been since the second I met you.” I move around until I finally get into her line of sight again and make her look at me. I need her to realize that I’m telling her the truth. “The only thing I want is you and I’ll take however much of you you’re willin’ to give me.”

She stares at me for a minute making me wonder if I crossed a line that we shouldn’t have yet, if ever. She’s harder to read right now than she ever has been before and it’s killing me to not know what she’s thinking. Finally, she takes a breath while closing her eyes and when she opens them again the anger that was there before has dissipated some.

“Me cryin’ on your shoulder won’t happen again,” she mumbles, wrapping her hands around my wrists.

“I didn’t expect it to,” I tell her honestly.

“I’m never gonna be the girl that needs to talk about my feelings or what’s goin’ through my mind.”

“We’ll just be the couple that has sex instead of talkin’. Works for me.” I shrug, hoping my attempt at a joke doesn’t piss her off more.

“I told you the night I met you that I wasn’t a damsel in distress that needed Knox to save me, but I don’t need you to save me either. I’m not gonna act weak just to make you feel strong.”

Stepping back, I drop down on the edge of the bed and pull her between my legs. I grab her hips and look up at her. “I don’t need you to act weak to give me an ego boost, Emerson. I just want you to know that you can come to me if you decide you don’t
want
to deal with shit alone.”

“Can we consider me rippin’ your clothes off and losin’ myself in the way you touch me after a bad day our way of talkin’ about feelings?”

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth and I laugh. “How ‘bout I just strip in the garage before I come in and save you the time?”

“That sounds like it would probably be the best way to go,” she whispers, leaning down to finally kiss me. I hated not feeling her lips on mine the second I was through the door.

“Good deal.” I laugh against her lips and reach behind me to push the clothes into the suitcase without breaking the kiss. Who the hell cares what she wears while we’re there as long as she keeps kissing me.

Stepping off the bottom of the staircase, I tug my shorts higher on my hips and head toward the voices coming from the kitchen. I don’t even get through the massive entryway before someone notices me. I’m used to it just being me, Rush, and Envy here. The two extra people sitting at the table and Emerson being upstairs is a big change.

“I thought I saw your truck,” Rush says, setting a cup of coffee down in front of Envy before dropping down in the seat beside her. “When’d you get here?”

“Around two… I think.” Yawning, I run my hand through my hair and scratch my head. “Hope you don’t mind me comin’ in. I remembered the alarm code and where the key was.”

Rush shakes his head, swallowing what is in his mouth before speaking again. “Don’t mind at all. I figured you’d stay home with Emerson after yesterday.”

“About that,” I say, dropping down next to the sickly thin brunette next to Knox. “She’s upstairs in the shower and she doesn’t wanna talk about what happened. It took a lot to get her to come, so if you could all just act normal around her unless she says something to you, that would be great.”

I look around the table, making sure each of them understand what I’m saying. When I get to the woman beside me I hold my hand out for her to shake. When she finally grabs my hand I’m scared to move at all because she feels so fragile.

“Gentry,” I finally say when she raises an eyebrow at me.

“Ariana.” As soon as her name is out of her mouth she pulls away and faces forward again, looking at the cup in front of her.

I knew who she was before she told me thanks to the photos that Knox and Emerson have shown me, but this is the first time I’ve actually met her. I remember Knox saying something about trying to get her to come with him now that she’s starting to get better, but he never had a definite answer. Looking across the table at Rush and Envy, I’m amazed at how different they are when they’re here instead of the bar. It gets me every time we make this trip. They go from the crazy people that will fight just to fight, to doing whatever they can for each other to make the week run smoothly.

I should be used to it by now but it’s hard to imagine them like this after three hundred and fifty-eight days of watching them pretend they hate each other. I don’t know how the birthday week shit got started with them, but Rush gets whatever he wants from her for one week a year. A few years ago he somehow convinced me to start tagging along and taking part in the activities. Normally by this time in the morning Envy would already be spread out on the marble island behind them with a cock in her mouth and the other in her pussy. This year is different. This year I wouldn’t even entertain the idea if it was presented to me. I’ve purposely made sure I was single around this time of the year before so I could join in, but I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize what I’m building with Emerson.

Maybe that’s why I wanted her to come so bad. Maybe somewhere in the back of my head I thought that if she wasn’t with me I’d mess up and fuck up everything we have. When I look up and meet her eyes as she steps into the kitchen the thought disappears from my mind because I know better. It doesn’t matter if she came or not. I’d never purposely do something to fuck this up.

Emerson stops mid-step when everyone looks up at her, waiting for them to say something. When all they say is good morning her eyebrows draw together in confusion but she shakes it off and makes her way over to the coffee pot. I have no doubt that she was in the shower building up her walls in preparation of everyone attacking her.

When she walks around the table toward me, I pull out the chair next to me but she stops behind Ari and kisses the top of her head silently. After a minute of whispering in her ear, Emerson walks past me, letting her fingers drift over my arm with a forced smile, and heads out the door and down onto the beach. I have to force myself to stay seated when all I want to do is follow her down into the sand.

“I need some sun,” Envy declares a few minutes later. 

Pushing away from the table, she motions for Ari to follow her, kisses Rush quickly, and grabs the pile of stuff from the floor by the door. With a huge smile on his face he watches her ass sway as she walks away from us. When Ari stands up she can obviously tell how worried I am about Emerson so she grips my shoulder until I look at her.

“She’s gonna be OK. Sometimes all someone needs is time.”

I nod and she heads out the door behind Envy. Knox, who evidently wasn’t filled in on what happens between Rush and Envy while they are here, stares between them. 

“What the fuck was that?” he barks. “I’ve heard her tell you she wouldn’t touch you with someone else’s twat.”