ANTONIO: Diablos MC (7 page)

              “And I want you to know that no matter what you choose I will understand and respect your decision.” Toni tenses his arms around me and I think it is because he knowns what I am about to say but damn I am so wrong.

              “Fucking Bitch.” He growls. 

              “Excuse me.”  I say shooting back out of his arms in shock.  But when I look up at his face I notice he isn’t even looking at me.  He is looking over my shoulder. Turning around I see a woman walking towards us with a huge smile on her face.  I don’t know who she is but just the site of her throws me off balance.  She is probably the most beautiful woman in this club.  Very tall although not as tall as Toni, skinny as hell. I honestly wonder if she ever eats. Her hair lays perfect over her shoulders in waves and she has the most stunning brown eyes ever.  They are kind of like a milk chocolate color.  I turn my attention back to Toni who looks like he is about to rip this woman’s head off. Grabbing him by the arm to get his attention I say “Toni do you know her.” 

At that same time the woman walks right up beside me and says “Oh honey he knows me.  He knows me very well.”  She turns and squares her shoulders right in front of me.  A little intimidating if you ask me.  “He is my husband.  And you must be his new club whore of the month.  I heard about you.” She says pointing her long manicured finger at me

              Shaking my head “Wait.  What did you just say?”  I am confused.

              “You heard me whore.  Antonio here is my husband.”  She says with a shit eating grin on her face while holding up her ring finger showing a very decent sized ring set.

              I turn and look at Toni.  Waiting for him to explain any of this but he just drops his dead.  I become so furious.  “Fucking asshole.  You told me you were divorced.” 

I turn to walk away but he grabs my arm “Haylee wait.  I can explain everything.  It isn’t what you think.”  He shouts over the music. 

Jerking my arm out of his touch I walk up and get right in his face.  My anger pouring off of me.  “Really.  So tell me are you still married?”  He shakes his head yes.  “And you are still married to her.”  I point to the evil bitch.  He turns his head and looks at her.  Shakes his head yes.  I laugh.  “Well seems to me that is all you need to explain.  Because your wife is right.  You lied to me and turned me into a club whore.  I hate you.  Hope you and your wife live a very happy life together.”  I go to walk away but Toni rushes after me and tries to stop me.  Whipping around I slap him hard a crossed the face.  Screaming at the top of my lungs I yell “Don’t fucking touch me ever again.  We are done.”  By this time Monica is over pulling me away from Toni and Tank is holding him back.  The last view I have of Toni is a look that crushes my heart.  Not only does he look angry but he looks crushed.  I almost feel bad for him.  But it’s not about me anymore.  And I can’t be with someone who obviously lies to me.  But also knowing he doesn’t want what I am bringing in to this world.  It all is a deal breaker.  I am done.

CHAPTER 7

TONI

4 YEARS LATER!

Today marks 4 years since I have seen my beautiful Haylee.  4 years ago today we were in Vegas and everything in my life went to shit.  After Haylee slapped me and stormed off I never saw her again.  She disappeared for good.  As soon as I got back from Vegas I tasked Vinnie on tracking her.  He is our tech guy here and is damn good at his job.  If we need to find someone or get information, he can always find it.  But for some reason he can never find Haylee.  At first I had him searching for her all the time.  As time pasted I required monthly checks to tell me if he has anything new.  And like always he has nothing.  All he can ever tell me is she flew out of Vegas back to San Diego that night and then nothing.  At first it ripped me apart.  I worried myself sick wondering if she was hurt, did someone do something to her but after 6 months Tank finally told me he knows she is safe and fine.  He swears he has no idea where she is or has been.  That all he knows was she was fine.  I even cornered Monica a few times to tell me where she was but all she ever said was her loyalty stays with Haylee.  And damn if those women have a bond stronger than any brother I have because she doesn’t budge at all.  I even went a little far and threatened to harm her if she didn’t tell me.  Of course she laughed in my face.  She knew I wouldn’t touch a hair on her head.  One because hurting Haylee’s best friend wouldn’t win her back but also she is engaged to Diablos President.  And well let’s just say the idea of threatening her got my ass beat so bad I wound up in the hospital.  Yeah learned my lesson on that one.  Thankfully Tank and Monica forgave me.  They both said they understand I am desperate and just want Haylee back but I need to let her go.  That it is better for both of us if I let her go.  The only thing no one realizes I can never let her go.  Can you ever let go the love of your life?  And she truly is the love of my life.  I didn’t realize that until she was gone but I am truly deeply in love with her.

I will say one thing good came out of that day.  If I can find some good out of all this fucking mess.  Is I finally found Vera.  And I finally got my divorce.  God I never thought having one little piece of paper signed by a judge would feel so great but damn it.  It felt fantastic.  The only better feeling is being with Haylee.

God I miss her.  I know I will find her one day.  I will never stop looking for her.  But until then I have learned to enjoy my life.  And today is one day I am going to try and enjoy.  I wish it was my day to stand up at the alter and say vowels to Haylee but instead it is Tank and Monica’s day.  And I am truly happy for those two.  They make each other so happy.  Although Tank is very nervous.  A little more nervous than you would think a groom would be.  He has been barking orders at everyone and just on edge.  I told him the other day to relax or I was going to beat the shit out of him.  I know Monica is driving him bat shit crazy about making sure everything turns out just right but the way he is acting it seems like something else is bothering him. Like something big is happening. But he won’t tell.  I even asked Monica what was wrong with him and she just waved it off as if it was nothing. 

Even now standing waiting for this to start he is pacing back and forth. “Dude you are going to make a path in the grass and Monica is going to kick your ass.”

“Shut up Toni.”  Tank barks and waves me off.

“Hey is that any way to talk to your best man?”  I say laughing.  Honestly I was surprised he asked me to be his best man.  I mean I know we have gotten close over the years especially since we had a common interest.  Our girls were best friends but deep down I don’t feel like I deserve it.  I feel like Viper should be up here instead.  But Viper says Tank picked me because he knew Viper would tell him to fuck off.  Yeah if you can’t tell he isn’t that lovey dovey about these things. So once all that was settled I accepted and threw him one hell of a bachelor party.  Can’t have a good man like Tank get married and not send him off the right way.

The music starts.  That’s our que.  I turn and look at Tank.  “You ready man?”

He smiles and relaxes a little “Fuck yeah.” Before he starts to walk over to where the alter is set with all his guest I grab a hold of his arm

“Tank I just want to give you one last chance.  Are you sure you are ready for this?  No one gave me a chance to have a second thought and I wish they did.  So this is me giving it to you.  You say the word and we will get the fuck out of here.” 

He shakes his head no “Thanks Toni. Really.  I appreciate it.  But no I am ready. Monica is my one and only.  I have been waiting for her my entire life.  I am ready for her to become officially mine.”

“Fuck yeah man then let’s go.” I go to walk but he stops me this time.

“Toni before this gets started I just want you to know I love you Brother.  Just remember that ok.”

“Love you too.  Now let’s go get you married.”  I say ushering him along.  Monica will freak if we delay her any longer.  But I am taken back by him telling me that.  He has something up his sleeve and eventually I will get it out of him what he is up to.

When we walk up to the front of the crowd everyone starts to holler.  I know not your type response at a wedding but getting married to men like us doesn’t get you a church service and a Cinderella ending.  It gets you loud men hollering and cheering, your wedding is outside on the grounds of the club house, and men standing at the alter with their cuts on.  And Monica was accepting off all of this.  She just wants Tank.  And that is what she is getting. 

After we take our place with Damian our resident minister, yes we have one in our club.  You never know when a brother will be on his last breath and needs a little saving before he is sent to the heavens.  But it also works to make weddings easier to handle on our home.  But after all 3 of us are in position the music changes and the grounds go quiet. 

All eyes focus on the door leading out of the club waiting for the beautiful bride to come out.  First the order is the flower girl, her maid of honor and then Monica.  I have asked about who the flower girl and maid of honor is but no one would tell me.  Would just say some family of Monica’s.  But when the flower girl comes down the aisle there is something about her that I can’t take my eyes off of her.  She has the most striking black hair and when she walks closer to us her eyes make contact with mine and damn they are dark.  Almost as dark as mine.  Something inside of me stirs at how familiar this little girl is but I can’t place it.  Leaning in to Tank I ask quietly “Dude whose kid is that?”  But he doesn’t answer.  He just shushes me and continues to look down the aisle.  I can’t take my eyes off of her.  I stay fixed on this little girl until the brothers sitting in the audience make a sound.  Almost like they are shocked.  That draws my attention back to the aisle.  When I do everything stops.  I can’t seem to remember to breath.  I sway a little bit from the shock and reach out to grab a hold of Tanks arm. 

“Breathe brother.  Just breathe.” How can I breathe when the one person I have missed for 4 years is walking towards me?  The one woman I want the most is walking back into my life.  Breathing is not important.  Getting that woman back in my arms is all I can think about.  God I missed her. When she reaches the front she moves to the other side of the alter next to the little girl.  Never looking at me.  The little beauty reaches for Haylee and says “Mommy pick up.”  And that’s when it all hits.  That is when all the wind is knocked out of my chest completely. The familiar I feel for her is she is mine.  That is my daughter.  Her skin tone, her nose and fuck those eyes.  She has my eyes.  My daughter.  I have a daughter.  And Haylee is her mother.  My life couldn’t get any better than this very second.  I want to rush over and grab both of my girls and never let go.  But right now I can’t. Right now isn’t about me and Haylee and our very beautiful daughter.  Nope right now is about Tank and Monica.  Taking a deep breath wishing for this to hurry the fuck up.  My life is only a few feet away and I am ready to grab a hold of it.  For good. 

CHAPTER 8

HAYLEE 

I knew coming back so soon would be a huge mistake.  Hell coming back ever is a huge mistake.  But when Monica asked me to be her maid of Honor how can I turn her down.  I mean yeah I guess I could have but she is my best friend.  I want to share this special day with her.  But when she asked if it would be too much to have Emma as her flower girl I was a little hesitant.  Throwing me back into the wolf den is one thing but to throw Emma into it almost feels too much.  Monica swears Toni has no idea I had a kid.  She claims he is so stuck on himself he won’t even notice her.  But that is impossible.  She looks just like her daddy.  The only thing that little girl got from me is my jet black hair.  But everything else on her is from Toni.  The second he sees her he is going to know it is his daughter.  But oh well I guess.  He never wanted to be a dad and I am not asking him to be now.

              I never did get over Toni.  Still to this day I think about him all day, every day. I miss him more than I should. But nothing has changed.  And that is ok.  That is life sometimes.  Being a single mom and alone is a part of life.  Many women do it and get by just fine.  And I am no different.  I have accepted my life for what it is. 

After I left San Diego I moved north to Portland, Oregon.  I finished school and got my degree in Early Childhood Education.  I got a job in Portland at a great little elementary school teaching 2
nd
grade.  I was able to buy the two of us a beautiful little house and pretty much set ground there.  It isn’t as beautiful or sunny as San Diego but it has become home to us.  Monica comes and visits me every few months.  Which is great to still be in contact with her.  She is my rock most days.  A few times Tank has come with her to visit.  Which is great.  I miss him just as much as I miss her. They are the closes thing Emma and I have as family.  Which is why the both of us are here.  To help them create a very special day.  Their day.  Their wedding day.  They were both so excited when I agreed to come down and bring Emma with me.  Tank rushed right over and gave Emma a huge hug when we got to their house last night.  It was the sweetest thing ever.  But he came to reassure me no matter what he had my back and would do everything he can to make sure Emma was protected.  Which melted my heart.  I mean I will be honest I do not think Toni would ever do anything to harm her but I don’t think he will be too happy when he learns he has a daughter.  But like I have said today isn’t about me. Or even about Toni.  Today is all about Monica and Tank.