Ashes of the Day (25 page)

“Nothing that you know about, you mean!”

“Nothing that I care about,” Damian retorted. “If the past few years and our experiences with the twins should have taught you anything, Conrad, it’s that in this modern age, people have to practically be forced to believe in the evidence of their own senses. If, perchance, he had noticed, or if he’d commented on—for example—the lack of blood, I could have simply told him I was Vampire and that would have ended the matter. He would immediately have discounted that as a possibility and written me off as being either mad or a wit.”

“You
are
mad,” Conrad replied, aghast and all but speechless. “He’d have been well within his rights to think so.” What next? Would Damian attempt to immolate himself in the village square? Would he hurl himself from atop a tower? Stake himself through the heart?

Damian’s eyes flashed. “Either mad or sane, it makes no difference. Whatever would have come up, I would have dealt with it. Am I a child, Conrad? Or a dog that has never been allowed off-leash before? For one hundred and thirteen years I survived on my own, after you threw me out and before you saw fit to reclaim me.”

“Don’t remind me,” Conrad growled. One hundred and thirteen years, and he’d regretted every second. “And, for the record, I have not reclaimed you.” If he had, Damian would know about it. If he had, Conrad would make damn sure that nothing like this ever happened again. Ah, if only he could reclaim him! But that was a hope that waned thinner with each passing year.

“Exactly.” Damian flushed and looked away. “So tell me, where was your concern for me then?” His voice was sullen and cold as he continued. “How worried could you have been when you made no effort to contact me for decades at a time?”

“Conrad!” Damian’s voice startled Conrad from his memories.

He glanced up at him, questioningly. “Well? What is it?”

“Don’t tell me you’re falling asleep?”

In answer, Conrad shifted partially onto his side, so he could glance down the length of Damian’s body. Damian’s hand was now wrapped around both their cocks, stroking them together. “Do I look asleep to you?” Both their shafts were equally hard, slick and shining, straining together in a way that put Conrad in mind of two horses racing neck-and-neck. He grew even harder at the sight of them and rocked his hips again. His cock nudged against Damian’s, startling a throaty groan from his lover’s lips. Conrad’s balls drew up tight. His cock pulsed in Damian’s hand.

“I need more.” Damian’s voice sounded plaintive. “I need you inside me. Now,
querido
. I need to feel you touching me. Touch me everywhere. Please…”

“Your wish is my command,” Conrad answered, still unable to tear his gaze away from the gorgeous sight that met his eyes. Damian lay stretched out beneath him, motionless aside from his busy hand. His eyes half-closed, his lips parted, their soft fullness accentuated by the dark shadow of his morning beard. He looked so beautiful—especially from this angle, with all the damage Conrad had done to him concealed. A red flush colored his heaving chest; the skin there, and on his upper arms, was smooth and sleek, missing the dark hair that trailed over his belly, now wet with the evidence of their passion. At the juncture of his heavy thighs, a thicker patch of curls sheltered his sac. His legs had fallen open, strong muscles bunching and flexing; and here, too, he was lightly furred. The juxtaposition of smooth and furry was glorious. Conrad’s palms itched with the need to do just as Damian had asked, to touch him everywhere, to reacquaint himself with every perfect inch.

Made for me
. The soft voice in Conrad’s head was insistent, and he was struck anew by the truth of the statement that repeated over and over in his thoughts.
He was made for me
.

Conrad lifted his hand to Damian’s face, tracing the shape of Damian’s lips with his finger, then slipping the digit into Damian’s hot mouth. “Ah, Damian,” he murmured “
Amore. Ti amo così tanto
.”
I love you so much
.

A shudder ran through Damian’s frame. The look that blazed suddenly in his eyes tore at Conrad’s heart. After pulling his finger free, Conrad leaned down and sealed Damian’s mouth in a kiss. Damian’s arm hooked around Conrad’s neck, pulling him closer. When he wrapped his thighs around Conrad’s back, pulling him even more fully to him, Conrad moved willingly to cover him.

Conrad’s slick fingers searched out Damian’s opening. Just as he had done with Damian’s mouth, his fingers traced the puckered hole, then thrust inside, twisting and stretching, while Damian moaned against Conrad’s mouth and his own fingers twisted and tightened in Conrad’s hair.

Conrad thrust deeper. Three fingers now, pumping with sure strokes, until Damian tore his mouth away with a cry. “Now. Ah,
querido, mi amor, mi amor
. Take me now.”

“Anything for you, my love,” Conrad promised with a final kiss. He rose up on his knees and hooked his arm under one of Damian’s legs, spreading him wider. “Whatever you desire. Anything, everything…” He pushed inside, sinking quickly into slick, tight heat, then fell forward again on his elbows, kissing Damian quickly once again. “All of me.” He murmured as he set up a rhythm, long, slow, powerful strokes that spoke of his need to join with Damian completely, to lose himself inside him, to demonstrate his desire to never be parted from him again.

“
Querido
.” Damian gasped as his body tightened around Conrad. “
¡Amado!
” As wet heat splashed between them Damian tightened his arms as well, and held Conrad close. “
Te quiero, tanto,
” he whispered in fierce tones. “
Tanto, tanto, tanto
,
para siempre
.”

Para siempre.
Forever. The word resounded in Conrad’s mind and he came in a rush, flooding Damian with his seed. Forever. For too long there had been a cold finality about the word. The world it promised seemed empty and bleak. Tonight, that was no longer so. Tonight that world seemed warm and inviting and filled with everything he’d ever need…

“You never answered my question before,” Conrad murmured, sometime later.

His breath was warm against Damian’s neck and Damian was so relaxed he could barely rouse himself to answer. “
¿Que?
What question is that?”

“Did you never think of turning Paul?”

Damian stirred. Pain pierced his heart like a cold blade, slicing through the pleasant lassitude. “You certainly seem to be thinking about him a lot this evening.”

Conrad shrugged. “You said it yourself. The new year stirs up memories. You must feel it too?”

“Of course,” he answered quietly. “But the same could be said of any time. The ones you love are never very far from your mind, are they?”

“So, you did love him then?”

Damian turned in Conrad’s arms until he was facing him. “Come, you already knew that. Don’t say you’re surprised. We’ve both loved many other people over the years, have we not? There are the children, for example, who I love more than life itself. And surely you are not going to try and tell me you did not love their mother? Or that you feel no love for Armand? Or even Georgia?”

“Of course. I love them all. But you make my point for me, my dear. All those you mention were either already Vampire when I met them or humans who I loved and subsequently turned. Which, once again, begs my question.”

Damian sighed. “I don’t know why the answer should matter to you so much, especially given the circumstances. You must know as well as I do that the children’s presence in our lives when I met Paul made such a consideration impossible. It was not to be. I knew that from the start. But, no, even if that were not the case, I could never have done such a thing to him. It would have been too cruel.”

“Because you regret having been turned yourself?” Conrad asked after a moment. “Because you think I cheated you out of a normal life?”

Damian shook his head. “I must be hearing things. Perhaps I am too tired for these questions to make any sense. Or maybe it is simply too late in the day.
Querido
, a ‘normal’ life? What exactly are you suggesting? Even if I knew what was meant by that, which I don’t, I’m at a loss to understand you. When have I ever said anything that would lead you to believe I could wish for such a thing? It sounds most distressingly dull.”

Conrad sighed and rolled onto his back. Staring up at the ceiling he answered, “Perhaps I misspoke, but don’t make jokes or pretend not to understand me. After Paul died you made your thoughts on the matter very clear. You were upset, and perhaps you do not recall it, but you told me then that you feared you had ruined his life.”

“Of course I remember. He loved me too well, and that was as a human. If he had been a vampire and bound to me for all eternity? It seemed to me, at that time, that to have turned him under those circumstances would have been criminal. Even had I been free to do so, even if such a step could have been taken without jeopardizing all our lives, it still would have been the most unpardonable sin I could ever have contemplated committing. That still does not explain why you should think I would feel cheated—other than by fate itself, perhaps.”

“You said that you’d done to him what I had done to you. If it was so unforgivable for you to only consider it, how is it you have pardoned me when I’ve committed the exact same sin against you?” Conrad asked, almost hesitantly. “Or do I presume too much?”

“Foolish, foolish man,” Damian scolded. “Have you listened to nothing either of us has said tonight? Did you not just swear to me that you could not bear for us to be parted again? Did you not promise to love me for the rest of your life? Were those just pretty words, Conrad? Did they mean nothing to you when you said them?”

Conrad scowled. “Of course not. Do you think me a liar? I meant every word I said.”

“
¡Bueno!
That’s as it should be, then. For to hear you say them, that meant the world to me! It means everything. Of course I loved Paul—better than I even knew at the time. But my heart has belonged to you since the night we met.
I
have belonged to you since the night we met. You speak of being selfish? Well, how am I any different than you in that regard? I regret that I spent so little time with Paul, when what I
should
regret is that I spent any time with him at all. It was bad enough that I consoled myself with him for a few short years, but to have done so for all eternity? I pray I am never so selfish as that. If he felt for me even a fraction of what I feel for you, then to have sentenced him to such a fate would have been beyond cruel.
Tú eres mi amor. Tú eres mi vida, mi alma. You
are my everything, Conrad. Only you. After all this time, you should know this.”

Conrad pulled him close again. This time there were no words, or tears, or even kisses. They’d all been spent, perhaps. The two men simply held one another close for a long, long moment.

Finally Damian stirred. “So, may I hope you are satisfied with my answer at last? And will now allow me to sleep?”

Conrad nodded. A wicked smile curved his lips as he answered. “Yes. For the moment.” His smile gentled as he added, “And, thank you, my dear.”

“
De nada
,” Damian replied. A moment later, he asked, “But what exactly are you thanking me for now?”

Conrad smiled once again. “For everything.”

Chapter Eighteen

“That went well,” Marc said, feeling very pleased as he relaxed on his couch. It was the first day of the year, just after sunrise and almost time for bed. He felt pleased but tired as he rubbed at his forehead and fiddled absently with the strap that held his eye patch on. He smiled at Heather who, as usual, was snuggled up against him. “I told you I’d take you back to the clubs when you were ready, didn’t I?”

Her eyes glowed with happiness as she smiled back at him and nodded.

“I gotta admit, it went better than I thought it would,” Nighthawk said. “When you first told us what you wanted to do, I thought for sure it was a mistake.”

Marc glanced across at him. “You thought I was leading you into a bloodbath tonight, didn’t you?”

Nighthawk shrugged. “The thought did cross my mind. And it wasn’t just me who thought it, either.”

Marc nodded. “I know.” He’d seen the fear, the hopeless expressions on most of their faces. Even with only one eye, he wasn’t so blind he couldn’t see that. He’d also seen how those same faces had beamed with pride when he claimed them as his own. “Everyone did a great job tonight. You especially. You really held it together for me when I needed you to. I was proud of you.” He smiled at Heather again. “I was proud of all of you.”

“So does this mean we can go there again, any time we want?” she asked.

“Why? Are you that tired of our own parties already?” he asked, only half-teasing. Besides being convenient and safe, they also provided the nest with a nice little income. He wasn’t willing to give any of that up just yet.

“No.” Heather shook her head. “Not tired, I just…I just thought it would be fun once in a while. You like it there too, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.” Akeldama still felt like home and he’d especially enjoyed renewing his acquaintance with Danny. So there were two more things he wasn’t ready to give up. “I think we should visit there as a group a couple more times before I feel comfortable sending you all out on your own. You’re still very young and there’s no need to rush, but tonight was a good start.”