The next week was a blur, as I got
ready for graduation, caught up on class work and prepared for
finals. I still hadn't talked to Stefan. I wanted to, but I wasn't
quite sure what to say to him. Sorry wasn't going to be enough for
this situation.
He had tried to contact me numerous
times, but eventually the texts and flowers stopped. I was worried
he had given up, but I knew that if I wanted to get back together
with him, I had to get my head straight.
Friday morning I woke up to
the sound of the doorbell. I knew Kennedy had spent the night at
Ayden’s house, so I grabbed a robe and wrapped it around my body as
I went downstairs and opened the door. Charles was standing there.
My heart immediately sank and I felt like the room was spinning. I
grabbed onto the door frame trying to stable myself.
Oh God, Stefan must be here.
"Jennifer, are you okay?" Charles
wrapped his arm around my waist trying to steady me. He seemed
genuinely worried.
"Yeah, I'm fine. What are you doing
here?"
"Can I come inside? I'd really like to
speak to you. I don't have long, Stefan thinks I'm running an
errand." A smile tickled the edges of his mouth.
"Sure," I stepped to the side,
allowing him access. We walked over to the couch and sat
down.
"I’m not sure what happened between
you and Stefan. He doesn't tell me everything, but I can tell he's
different. I am here as his friend, not his employee. I couldn’t
just sit by and watch him hurt without trying to help. Jennifer, he
loves you. I wouldn't be here if I honestly didn't know that. He's
been completely different, working all the time and moody. He
thinks you’re through, so he’s moving back to Dallas."
Panic rose in my throat.
"I'm not though, Charles. I
do
love him. I have a lot of...issues. I was planning
on talking to him tonight after graduation; I was just trying to
get my thoughts straight first."
"Jennifer, he's got a lot of skeletons
in his closet and he is a very powerful man, but if you give him
time, he can be a really good person. I think you two are good for
each other." Charles smiled at me before continuing. “But I hope
you keep this visit between us.”
"I need to get him to come to my
graduation; I can talk to him afterwards and hopefully tell him I
love him."
"Text him. I’ll mention it to him, but
I can’t promise anything." He stood up and headed for the door. "I
better get going. Stefan will be pissed if he finds out I am
here."
"I understand. I'll keep it between me
and you. Please talk to him about my graduation ceremony,
please."
"Congratulations on your graduation.
You should be very proud of yourself, it’s a major accomplishment."
He smiled as he turned and walked out the door. I smiled back,
closing the door behind me. I needed to tell him how I felt, even
if I didn't feel ready. Love wasn’t going to wait for
me.
I pulled out my phone and sent a quick
text to Stefan.
*I would really love for
you to
come to my graduation
tonight.*
*I can’t, I’m
busy.
Sorry.*
My heart fell. I wasn’t going to give
up on him. I knew I wanted him in my life, and I was going to do
whatever it took to make sure that happened.
I went upstairs and threw myself on my
bed. I felt so dead inside without Stefan. I wasn’t sure how much
longer I could deal with this. My head started pounding, so I
closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down.
“
Jennifer, wake up.”
Kennedy was shaking me.
Oh shit, how long
was I asleep?
“You’ve got two hours before
we leave. You need to get ready.” I sat up, rubbing my eyes. My
head wasn’t hurting anymore, that was good.
“
I’m getting up,
thanks.”
I checked my phone as I
walked into the bathroom. No missed messages. I sent Stefan a text
telling him where the ceremony was, just in case he could make
it.
God, I hope he comes.
After I got out of the shower, I dried
and curled my hair and put on some eye liner and lip gloss. I
walked into my room and grabbed my dress out of my closet.
Kennedy’s dad had our dresses specially made as our graduation
presents. My dress was red and strapless, falling to my knees with
a black belt across the mid-section. I paired it with some
stockings and black pumps.
I walked downstairs to find
Kennedy and Ayden sitting on the couch. They looked so comfortable.
Kennedy wore a black, strapless sweetheart dress that came a little
above her knees; it was
perfect
for her. She paired the dress with her nude pumps
and a small diamond necklace. Ayden was dressed in a black tux with
a bow tie. It suited him well.
“
Oh my gosh Jennifer, you
look gorgeous!” Kennedy hugged me.
“
You look great too, as
always.”
The knock at the door interrupted us.
Kennedy stood up and walked over to open it.
"Mom! Dad!” She hugged them
both.
"Hello, honey." Her parents came
inside and smiled when they saw me. Kennedy looked just like her
mom, Karen. She was petite, blonde hair, blue eyes, and gorgeous.
Her dad, Alex, was a big man. He stood about six foot, slim, but
with lots of muscle. He screamed power when he walked through the
door. These two people were my safe place, my family, and I was so
happy they were here.
"Jennifer, you look so pretty
tonight," Karen held me at arm’s length, examining me.
"Alex and I are truly proud of you
both. It's been a long time coming, but you girls have finally done
it!" We both smiled at her and took our turns with hugs.
"You haven't introduced us to your
guest," Alex said, looking over at Ayden.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Mom and dad, this is
Ayden." She paused. "My boyfriend. Ayden, this is Alex and Karen,
my parents."
"So nice to meet you,
Ayden."
"Same to you, Mrs.
Williams."
"Please, call me Karen." She stepped
to the side allowing Alex and Ayden to shake hands. Alex eyed him,
cautiously. He was worried about his baby girl, you could clearly
see that.
We stood around and chatted for about
an hour before grabbing our last minute things. We walked outside
to find two limos parked out front.
"Dad, what's this?" Kennedy looked
puzzled.
"I've arranged this limo for you. It's
yours all night. I know what kids want to do after graduation and I
don't want either of you drinking and driving. I've already paid
for it, and tipped the driver, so just enjoy." He swung his arm
around both of us and kissed us on the head. "So proud of my
girls."
Alex was the kindest man I had ever
met. He had a heart of gold and always treated me as his own. I was
truly grateful to have him in my life.
"You guys are the best!" Kennedy was
doing a happy dance to the limo.
"Thank you!" I hugged them both. The
limo driver was standing by our door.
He smiled and nodded at us. "Good
evening. My name is Laurence and I will be your driver this
evening."
"See you guys there. Love you!" Karen
shouted from her limo behind ours.
"We love you too!" Kennedy shouted
back, sliding into our limo. Ayden and I followed and made
ourselves comfortable while the driver shut the door.
The limo pulled out and we drove to
the stadium where graduation was held. Once we arrived, we made our
way to the designated rooms to get our cap and gown.
As we lined up to prepare to walk out
onto the field my heart raced. I wasn't sure if Stefan would be
there and if he was, I had no idea what I was going to say to him.
How I could make him understand the internal conflict I had raging
inside of me? I loved him and needed him; being without him made me
feel worthless. He was my color in a black and white
world.
In that moment I decided my past would
no longer play a role in my future. I refused to be stifled by it
any longer; it wasn't fair to me or anyone else in my life. As hard
as it was going to be, I had to let my past go. Not only for
myself, but for the man I love, the man I adore.
The music started playing, signaling
it was time to start walking.
Show
time
.
Chapter Twenty
During the ceremony I looked around
and tried to find Stefan, but I never did. We all stood to our
feet, the principal said his closing words and wished us great
success and a happy future, then we turned our tassels in
anticipation.
"Congratulations! I now present the
class of 2012!" We all cheered and threw our hats into the air as
balloons and streamers came down from above. I watched as Kennedy
and Ayden shared a quick kiss, then Kennedy grabbed me and squeezed
me. "We did it, we finally made it," she whispered in my ear. I
couldn’t help but smile. She was right; we had waited four years
for this moment.
But I still felt like a piece of me
was missing. I knew Stefan wasn’t here. What if he had given up on
us?
Once everyone started scattering, I
grabbed Kennedy. "I need to find Stefan, can I take the
limo?"
"Yeah, meet us at Ayden's house when
you’re done." She smiled at me.
"Thank you. You're the best!" I hugged
her tightly.
"Go! Get your man and be happy." She
gave a small nudge with her elbow. I said my goodbyes to everyone
and sprinted towards the door. Once I found our limo, I ran up to
it and opened the door; I scrambled for my clutch and grabbed my
blackberry. One text message from Charles sent fifteen minutes
ago.
*I couldn't get him to
come.
Come to his apartment,
trying
to stall him.*
*On my way*
I hollered to Laurence where I needed
to go and asked him to hurry as I put the phone back into my clutch
and peered out the window. I was fidgeting with my hands, I was so
nervous. I needed to tell him exactly how I felt.
“
Thank you. You can go back
to Ayden’s house, here’s the address.” I slipped him a paper and
smiled. I turned around and dashed through the doors to the
elevators. I pressed the up arrow. It seemed like it took forever,
but eventually the door opened and I hopped in. I pressed 19 and
waited as the elevator carried me up. Once I reached Stefan’s
floor, I hopped out and ran to his door.
"Can I help you?" An older
lady was standing in front of his door.
Who the hell was she?
"I need to see Stefan."
"Stefan is currently unavailable. What
was your name? I can tell him you came by and have him give you a
call." I wasn't sure who this bitch thought she was, but honestly
she was messing with the wrong person today.
"Who the hell are you?"
"I am Nancy, Stefan's personal
assistant." She adjusted her neatly pressed pin striped skirt. I
could tell she was uncomfortable.
"Listen, I need to speak with him.
Please let me in."
"Ma'am, I am under strict guidelines
not to let anyone in, I'm sorry."
"Can you just ask him, please? My name
is Jennifer, Jennifer White." She hesitated, but opened the door
and stuck her body in the door frame.
She was little, I could easily take
her. As she stood in the door frame I quickly shoved her to the
side and made my way into the apartment. Stefan was standing with
his back turned and Charles glared at me but calmed down when he
saw who I was.
"What the hell are you doing? I told
you he doesn't want to see anyone!" I had made little miss
pinstripe angry; her whole face was red.
Stefan turned around with
an angry look on his face, but froze when we made eye contact.
Right then the realization of what I almost lost, hit me.
He was so sexy.
Looking into his eyes, I could see his
soul. He was hurt… broken… lost. He was missing that burning
passion that I saw in him every time I was near. He needed me the
same way I needed him.
"Jennifer, what are you doing here?"
He looked at me in disbelief.
"Stefan, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
The tears formed in my eyes and my throat closed.
Without taking his eyes off me he
spoke to Charles. "Call off my jet. Give us some privacy. That goes
for you too, Nancy." Relief flooded my inner being. As soon as we
were alone, Stefan walked towards me. He slowly closed the gap
between us, approaching me careful.
I waited patiently for his warming
touch. I waited for him to trigger my heart so it could beat once
more.
He was two steps from being directly
in front of me and he paused, eyeing me like I was going to
disappear. One moment he was standing in front of me and the next
he was on his knees with his head in his hands, crying.
I knelt down and helped him
up.