Awesome Blossoms: Horn OK Please (16 page)

Sultan had a purpose in
my life. He taught me to love selflessly. He taught me to look beyond the suffocating life I would otherwise lead.

He made us laugh,
he taught us how to play; he made us fall and get up again. He was the King of laughter and innocence. True to his name, he was…Sultan. I will always love him.

***

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

By Sammy Chanda

***

Life is only as good as the memories we make…only they’re gone faster than the smell after it rains.

- Unknown

Fading Memories

I
t was a warm and mellow day. Exactly the kind of day when one would just want to snuggle up in a hammock with one’s favorite book as the sunlight plays hide and seek with one’s face and the waves lash against the sea shore. Then one would want to sip the coconut water before flipping over to the next page. What a blissful day it would be!

Well, I was home and that was certainly not on a beach.
The fiery red Gulmohar tree-tops lit up the cozy, private lane. A bird chirruped constantly from a nearby tree. It was a peaceful and happy morning. The advent of spring has always offered me inner serenity.

I took my coffee mug and stood on the balcony. It had rained last night; those surprise spring showers that bathe everything in their freshness. The strong scent of coffee mingled with the scent of the wet earth. A sense of happiness permeated my being. I smiled for no reason. Was this what they called contentment in life?
Maybe!

I looked at the
garden and I couldn’t help but smile. My five-year old son Rish was playing with Jimy, our pet dog. I could hear the intermittent joyful barking of the Daschund as it wagged its tail and leapt high up in the air at the Frisbee thrown by Rish. In the
porch, my husband Rohan was busy polishing the car to a sparkle. Actually, there was no need for him to do the job; we had already a helper to attend to the 3 cars that we owned. But Rohan always believed in taking care of his toys. Polishing the car to perfection, for him, was therapeutic. It was more so because this one was his latest acquisition. Men and their toys! I could never understand the connection. Rohan had just got back from an onshore assignment the day before and had managed to take a few days off from his busy schedule. Soon we would be off to a vacation in the mountains. I was pretty excited about it for I hadn’t been out of the city for quite some time now, mostly because my husband couldn’t manage time offs. Sigh!

My family looked happy; one that
people would point at and say, “Hey, look, that family is perfect!”

I took a deep breath. My thought processes had changed, in fact, I had changed! I had been tamed at last!
Is this really me?

I went inside the kitchen and gave the cook instructions for lunch. As I had nothing to do for the next couple of hours, I decided to check my emails with a hope of getting a reply from one of the publishers.  Those days, I was looking out for getting my recipe book published.  I already had a blog
going that was quite popular in some of the groups and in fact, some of the publishers had expressed their interest to get it published as a book.  I wanted to see my book on the book rack of the famous book stores, my inner desire was not driven by money but the satisfaction that I would get on holding my own book in my hands. And I was not alone in this. My friend, Rubina, who was an agent in a Publishing House, was helping me with this. She let no stone unturned.

I logged into my account. It was the same monotonous stuff, spams! There was no mail from any publisher. Click and delete! Click and delete! And I was on a spree to delete the mails when lo! One of the mails caught my attention. I clicked it open and my perfect world came crashing down. The mail said, “I am coming tomorrow, finally. A.” It was sent the day before.

Suddenly, my vision blurred and my mind whirled into turmoil as all my senses got numbed.  It was a silent evening and I could see the silhouette of two figures.

***

It was one of those days when the world conspires against you. I was in the final year of my Graduation. Those days, I was preparing for a student seminar where I was supposed to present a paper on
‘Anxiety and Disorder in Contemporary Indian Literature.’
I was engrossed in a sincere research for my paper and that was when I completely lost track of time. It was way past evening when I stepped out of the library and walked towards the bus stop. The world was bathed in a fading orange glow and there was a mild, gentle breeze that caressed my locks. I walked absent-mindedly, my mind full of the assimilated knowledge. It didn’t strike to me that something was amiss. I was busy in my own thoughts. When I reached the bus stop it occurred to me that there was no queue, no human voice around, no honking of horns, and not a vehicle on the road. I examined all the directions. The corner shop had lowered its shutters. Not a single sparrow fluttered near the concrete pillars of the bus stop. A piece of paper danced in the breeze and made a rustling sound. There was an eerie silence. The day looked desolate and foreboding. I couldn’t fathom the nuance. The stillness of the moment was phantasmal. Why had this place suddenly turned into a ghost town?

After waiting for a long time, I saw an auto rickshaw passing by. I waved my hand to stop it.  The driver craned his neck out and shouted, “Sister, don’t you know
that there is a curfew? Some political leader has been murdered. There are riots in some parts of the town. Everything is closed. It’s not safe to be on the road at this time. Go home”. Before I could get a chance to ask him for a ride, he sped away. A chill ran through my spine. How was I supposed to go home now? Dad must be worried. He would definitely be angry as it was already way past my usual time. I pondered over the available options for a while. I didn’t know anyone who lived nearby. I didn’t know anyone in the University hostel either; so I couldn’t stay there. Suddenly an idea sprouted in my mind. My house wasn’t far from there as it took me 25 minutes by bus. So I calculated that it would take me about an hour to reach my place via shortcuts. Though I had never tried that before, but extreme times call for extreme measures!

Suddenly, the thought of those darkened alleys and political violence numbed my senses. I stood rooted to the spot. Should I or should I not take the first step was what my mind was trying to figure out.

“Are you thinking of walking all the way? The dingy lanes are not safe and there has been a murder.” I jumped in shock as I heard a soft voice.

I turned around to see a lanky youth looking at me with his penetrating eyes. I had seen him somewhere but I couldn’t remember where. Perhaps he sensed my unease. “Hi, I am Aditya. I am your junior in the University. I have seen you often in University debates and student seminars.” Where did this guy come from? I didn’t even hear his footsteps!

“Ah…Ok.” I had seen him too. He stood out with his beak like nose and a quiet demeanor.

“Do you want me to accompany you?”

In normal circumstance, I would have said a no, but I let the situation take control of me and I nodded with a lot of appreciation.

I started walking towards my home. Without a single word, he followed me. On the way, I asked him a few questions, to which I got monosyllabic replies. Clearly, he didn’t have the gift of gab.

When I reached home, I stood outside the gate and invited him for a cup of coffee. After all, he had walked all the way with me! My knight in shining armor! I don’t know why, but at that particular moment, I thought of this clichéd phrase.

He just shrugged, turned back, and vanished with hurried steps.

Since that day, Aditya became my shadow. It happened without any plan. He entered into my life and melted into my being.

I had literally no friends. I had a very strict upbringing by a Colonel father after my mom passed away when I was still a child. I never had the freedom to do things on my own, stay late or have friends. I wanted to rebel many a times but lacked the courage to do so.

But deep down, I knew that there dwelled a spirit untamed. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to bunk classes, wanted to eat those oil-soaked samosas off the roadside stalls, and get soaked in the spring showers.

With Aditya by my side, I got my freedom. I did whatever I felt like during those days of our friendship. He was there to cushion me and protect me. There was a sense of comfort in his presence, in the warmth of his voice, and in the way he cared for me.

I remembered the day I bunked classes and we took a train to some unknown destination. We got down at an unknown station, sat there at the deserted platform for about 5 hours listening to chirping crickets and tweeting birds, gazing at the distant fields ripe with greenery, drinking tea and eating salty biscuits from the lone tea stall, without actually speaking anything. That was a moment of pure bliss for me! I also remembered the day when the whole town was flooded from continuous downpour. We walked knee deep in the rainwaters, dripping wet, eating corn cobs, and laughing our hearts out.

My pleasures were simple, mingled with love and dependency. We complimented each other on that! At least I thought so.

Aditya hardly talked and when he talked, it was all in monosyllables. It was difficult to extract words out of him. What I deciphered was that he stayed in the University hostel, was a loner, had no hobbies, and wanted to see the world but had no money. He never talked about his family, his classes, or his friends. Frankly, I didn’t care. As long as he listened to me and was with me, it was fine.

We would often walk back home in the evenings. He always bid me goodbye as soon as we reached the entrance of my house. I always tried to invite him for a coffee
. But he had a standard reply, “Tomorrow”. Every day I listened to the same phrase and wondered when that tomorrow would come.

This continued for
almost 3 years till I reached the final year of my post-grad. Soon I would sit for my exams and then launch myself into the world of career. Aditya was still the same. We talked a lot about literature and life. Actually, I talked. He just listened and replied in his monosyllables. But, by that time I got used to it. My world seemed incomplete without him. He was always there for me whenever I needed to go somewhere, work late in the library, or just walk through the leafy corridors of the huge University campus. He never stopped me from doing anything, never raised an admonishing voice, never let me down. With him, I felt liberated from my conservative and claustrophobic life. I didn’t need to prove anything to him. Just being me was enough.

The preparation leave for the final exam was looming large. Soon I would stop going to the University and after the exams got over, the dilemma of choosing a career would cloud my thoughts. And the worst part, I wouldn’t see Aditya every day. I started worrying about the future. And then I started worrying about us. Were we best friends?

It was the last day before the study break. As usual, we walked back in silence. From the next day onward, I would not see him. It didn’t seem to bother him much! I was infuriated. He never spoke his heart out! How would I live without all the silliness that we did together? I decided to confront him once and for all.

I stopped near the entrance of my house.

“Aditya”, I said.

“Umm”, he responded.

“Doesn’t it bother you that we wouldn’t meet regularly after tomorrow? Have you ever thought about those days? What would you do? You have no friends. Will you come to meet me in the evenings at my house? Most important, would we still be friends?” The words poured out from my mouth in gusts. I didn’t even pause for a breath.

He faced me and looked into my eyes.

“Listen Raina, I am not a nice person to know. I don’t think about tomorrow. For me, there is no tomorrow. I will come to meet you if tomorrow comes, and that’s a promise.”

With those words, he just turned back and walked away into oblivion. The tears stung my eyes and I had no words to say. I couldn’t even call him back. I could just stare at the fading figure at a distance, walking away with my life, my freedom, my happiness
and our friendship in his pockets.

***

After the exams got over, I went to the University hostel to check on Aditya. He had not called on me during the past 2 months. I didn’t even know his room number. I checked in the hostel office and asked for his whereabouts. The hostel clerk looked at me incredulously. He cleared his voice after a minute and said, “There’s no one by that name who lived here.” None of the hostel boys recognized him. My world spun around me. I virtually collapsed from shock. This couldn’t be true. How can a person be there and yet not exist?

I gave up my hopes. I lived in a state of despondency. I shrunk into myself. Wherever I looked, I could see someone like him, yet it wouldn’t be him. I longed for those moments of freedom, those dances in the rain, those evening walks. I felt like a bird whose wings had been clipped. The searing pain would often drive me insane. I had lost my courage!

Soon I started working in an Advertising agency where Rohan was one of my clients. We had met a couple of times at work. He seemed to be a nice person but I was detached from every emotion by then. When he sent a marriage proposal to my father asking for my hand, I had to yield to my father’s persuasion. By that time I had already resigned to my fate, lost all hopes of finding Aditya, and lost my zeal for life. And fate sealed it for me!

I missed my best friend!

***

And after all those years when his memory was lying in the dusty corner of my brain, this one sudden mail made it afresh! After all, I knew he would keep his promise.

But he should have thought about me! I had learnt to tame myself. I was no longer a free spirit. I didn’t want the freedom. I had learnt to watch the rain sitting in my balcony. My life had no space for those bubbly moments. I was a mother now and I had a family to look after. I was surrounded by people who loved and cared for me and the other way round as well. My husband had become my companion now. I didn’t need Aditya as my best friend. But most important, who was this Aditya? Did he even exist? Was it an existential crisis? I didn’t know! And why was he coming back after all these years? How did he know my email address? Was he for real?