B00MV3HMDW_EBOK (15 page)

“I’m not doing this,” Taryn said a little desperately as her eyes followed his hands as he placed his weapon on the cabinet that the television sat on. Her eyes connected with his and he felt a tug on his heart as he recognized panic warring with desire. He would hold her hand through this if necessary and he would damn well honor the rules of their lifestyle. “You—”

“Do you know what I felt when you leaned over Noel’s desk, giving him the perfect view of your lovely ass?” Ethan unhooked his sunglasses and laid them next to his weapon. “Can you fathom what emotion went through me?”

“What are you talking about?” Taryn asked, as if he’d lost his mind. Ethan wanted to tell her that he’d finally found it, but he didn’t think that would help any at the moment. “I did nothing in that office that I hadn’t—”

“Jealousy.” Ethan used both hands to pull his shirt over his head and drop it to the floor. Taryn’s eyes widened as if she’d never seen his body before. Shit, they walked around each other half undressed all of the time. Seeing her reaction assured him that she was finally viewing him in a different light. “It stabbed me in the chest as if it were a branded poker. I’m going to ask you again, what is your safeword, woman?”

“I don’t have one, damn it,” Taryn forced out through clenched teeth. Her arms were now at her sides, although her small hands were in fists.

“Red, then.” Ethan chose one for her as he finally slid a hand behind her neck and pulled her close. “Red is your safeword. I’m throwing down the gauntlet here, Taryn. From this point forward, if you say the word
red
—I walk out of here like nothing has happened. We go back to the way we were. Friends. It’s that simple.”

Ethan battled the fear that enveloped him that he was pushing too hard, too fast. He set into motion what he had to. This tug of war between them would only continue unless one of them took a stand. He hoped like hell that she had the guts to finally take a chance and see this through to the end.

“You can’t—” Taryn closed her eyes and her breath caught in her throat, telling him that she wasn’t unaffected by his touch or his words. The fear that shrouded him also affected her. He liked that her hair was messy and short, giving him easy leverage as he grabbed a hold of the strands within his fingers. Her brown eyes quickly opened, revealing her arousal. “This is so wrong…”

“It’s never been more right,” Ethan murmured before claiming her lips. He took. He took everything she had to give. Using his other arm to bring her closer, he also lifted her on her tiptoes so that she felt the weightlessness that he now felt. He tightened his fist and swallowed her gasp of surprise as he tilted her head just right in order to drink from her. She tasted like nothing he’d ever come across in his life. He ripped his mouth off of hers, drawing in oxygen while he gathered his thoughts. “Undress for me. Let me
really
see you, Taryn.”

Ethan gradually loosened his hold on her and stepped back, more for himself than her. He needed time to gather the strength he’d need to see this through and ensure it was satisfying for both of them. This was so much more than physical and he needed for her to know that. There was only one way to pull that off and as she stood there debating with herself, he took the time to take inventory of what the room contained.

“Ethan—”

“There will come a time when you accept me as your Dominant,” Ethan replied, walking past her to where her suitcase was situated on the luggage rack. He chose a belt that was made of a soft fabric, knowing it wouldn’t hurt her wrists. He didn’t bother to hide it as he turned around. “For now, you calling me Ethan will have to do. Tonight is about establishing our future, not so much our roles. That will come with time. You either undress or you use your safeword. What is it going to be?”

*   *   *   *

“Just…just wait a second,” Taryn whispered, wanting to slow down whatever the hell this was. Ethan had thrown out this safeword ultimatum and she knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t bluffing. If she so much as uttered the word
red
he would walk out of here. So why was she not saying it? Wasn’t that what she wanted? For things to return back to normal? Yet she couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud. “I need time to—”

“We both know that you procrastinate,” Ethan said, as if that were a given. Taryn couldn’t argue that point, but life-altering decisions shouldn’t be made without taking the time to think things through. Seeing the wide strip of fabric in his hands wasn’t helping her any and the emotions running through her body set her into full on confusion. Did he think he could just tie her up and have his way with her? As much as that thought sent her desire through the roof, she didn’t think she could handle the fallout from such a quick scene. Ethan was spontaneous in nature and seeing him in this manner didn’t ease her concerns. “We’re at the point where we’ve come to the fork in the road. Which path are you going to choose?”

Taryn bit her lip, wishing it were a pencil and that she were at her desk, commencing a normal day like any other. She remembered telling him that Ryland had overtaken her life and what she’d give for something else to shove him toward the back, as if he were nothing more than a nuisance instead of a life or death threat. She could hear Jessie telling her that she should have been careful for what she’d wished for. Although she could also hear Jessie ask what she was waiting for when such a delicious form of a man stood in front of her. Adjusting her way of thinking wasn’t easy.

“Let’s finish this investigation and then see where we stand,” Taryn suggested in full-fledged terror, raising her hands in frustration and then dropping them back down to her side. “You aren’t seeing this clearly from all sides.”

“What I’m seeing is a runaway.” Ethan tossed down the long piece of fabric onto the bed and Taryn had never felt panic like she did now. He was confusing her and right now, her biggest fear was that he was actually going to walk out her door. “I’m standing in front of you. I have never let you fall. I have always had your back. Now is no different. If you can’t take this step with me, then you were right all along in that we should remain friends.”

Taryn had known yesterday that nothing would ever go back to being the same. Ethan might offer that to her, but he couldn’t give her back what they had. He’d torn that to shreds the second he’d suggested
this
. She didn’t even know what
this
was. It had never crossed her mind that she was ready to be serious with any man, let alone him. Finally facing the fact that things couldn’t go back to the way they were prodded her into seeing that Ethan was still standing in front of her…her rock, her security.

She’d always admired his muscular form, from the width of his shoulders to the size of his biceps. Seeing Ethan in this manner was nothing new, yet everything was different in light of recent events and words thrown out like daggers. Could she take this step? It seemed as if her mind and body already had…it was her heart that was having trouble accepting this newfound revelation.

Taryn held the fear at bay as she undressed slowly, watching Ethan as each article of her clothing was dropped to the floor. Her holstered weapon joined his. It seemed surreal that his eyes followed her every movement, as if he had never seen her in this manner. The browns and greens of his irises glowed with intensity and she’d only ever seen him react in such a way at the club, yet he was different somehow. The cool air was blowing across her skin and the only thing that remained on her body was her pink lace bra and matching panties. Something stopped her and she stood there, cautiously waiting for what came next.

“Stop thinking,” Ethan ordered softly as he drank in the sight of her. At least, that’s what it felt like he was doing. There wasn’t an inch on Taryn’s body that hadn’t been touched by his eyes. “I want you to
feel
tonight, Taryn. Feel only us and what we create together.”

“Do you remember me telling you about my combat tour?” Taryn asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Whether from the air conditioning or the position she now found herself in, a shivering had taken up residence and it was all she could do to stop her teeth from chattering. “The terror that I felt then is nothing compared to what I feel regarding what we’re about to do.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Absolutely.” Taryn didn’t hesitate in her answer and she meant it with her entire heart. There was no one on earth she trusted more than the man standing in front of her. That still didn’t give them the guarantee that the path they were embarking on was the right one, which made this route they were taking that much more perilous. She had never liked the feeling of vulnerability and standing in front of him like this yielded that exact type of exposure she avoided. “Trust has nothing to do with this.”

“Trust has everything to do with this.” Ethan stepped forward, his virility enveloping her and making it hard for her to breathe. Taryn couldn’t help but be transfixed by the hunger in his eyes. How could she have missed it? Her hand immediately caught his wrist as his index finger slipped under the strap of her lace bra. “Let go.”

Let go. Two simple words and those that Taryn craved to hear, but never in a million years would she have thought they would come from Ethan. Even so, hearing them did something to her insides that she couldn’t name. Slowly, ever so slowly, she released her hold on him. If he thought he was going to get some submissive who knew all the positions, titles, and rules, he would surely be disappointed. Her life didn’t revolve around the club and lifestyle the way some of their teammates’ did. As she thought that, the moment she gave him control to remove her bra something snapped inside of her.

“Only for you.”

Chapter Twelve

E
than closed his eyes to savor Taryn’s words.
Only for you
. He was so afraid to fuck this up that he stood stock still for a moment, not questioning himself on if he could actually give her what she needed but knowing full well that he had the ability to make her happy. More than that, she’d just handed him the gift to be the man who held her heart in his hand instead of the sidekick role she’d pigeonholed him into. He would take her gift and ensure that she didn’t regret giving it.

He slowly removed her bra, liking this pink lace better than the tight sports bra that pressed her breasts to her body. Her frame was small yet toned to perfection. Her arms and torso were taut with muscles and yet she somehow maintained her soft womanly curves. Her panties hugged the shape of her hips in such a way that he knew he wouldn’t allow the dainty material to stay on for long.

“Lie on the bed,” Ethan directed in a low voice, knowing it sounded like he’d swallowed gravel but it was triggered by his physical attraction to her. Taryn inhaled deeply, causing her breasts to rise. She undoubtedly expected him to handle this in a different manner than what he had in mind, but that was for the best. “Hands above your head.”

“And if I don’t want to?” Taryn asked, her brown eyes flashing and her natural fiery nature pushing aside her apprehension. Her chin tilted at an angle as she finally came into her own. This was his Taryn and she was a sight to behold. How long would it be before her trepidation took hold? “What if I just want to make love right now?”

“Did you or did you not tell me that you like the thought of foregoing control?” Ethan loved to grab ahold of a woman’s hair and pull her head back, parting her lips with the rough action. He already knew that she wouldn’t grow her hair out for anyone other than herself, but she didn’t need to. Oddly enough, the choppy way her hair was cut wrapped perfectly around his fingers as he seized the blonde strands. When her lips parted and she rested her soft hands on his chest, he got the reaction he wanted in spades. “I want you to lie on the bed.”

Ethan held Taryn in that position for a while longer, loving the way her fingertips dug into his skin. He enjoyed the different manner in which she touched him and wanted to do the same to her. The scene played out before him on how the next few hours would go. It would be an experience that neither one of them would ever forget.