Back-Up (35 page)

She doesn’t, of course.
She looks fucking hot. They have her in a dark, red leather lace-up thing and the tightest pair of jeans that leave nothing to the imagination. On her feet are black fuck me pumps. Her hair is wild and looks like she just had sex. Her eyes are smoky grey. He lips are red, but not a trampy red, more like she has been kissed for hours, red. I am completely turned on.

I shake my head and refute
, “You look unbelievable Leila…trust me.” Even so, her expression says that she wants to die.

Dylan comes over. “Leila
, you look great.” He says rubbing her back to comfort her. I clench my jaw at the sight of his hand on her bareback.

Jennifer stalks over
without sympathy. “What is the problem here?”

“Sorry,
they kept changing my outfits and hair until they were satisfied.”

“Relax Jenni
fer, we’re ready now.” Thankfully, Jen walks away in search of Pierre.

Looking at Leila, I
tease, “Stop biting your lip.”

As Pierre makes last minute lighting adjustments, my band-mates openly gawk at the girl I’m in love with. This is not helping m
y mood. Her pants are so tight that you can see the smooth curve of her ass. Instinctively I stand between Leila and their line of sight. Trey has the balls to look around me.

The photographer arranges us in front of the backdrop. He takes
dozens of shots, moving us and facing us in different directions. I look down at Leila at one point when he is adjusting his lights and ask if she’s ok.

“I will be when this is over. My
boobs are sweating.”

I
am so surprised by her comment that I let out a loud snort, prompting the entire room to look at me. I turn towards her and she shrugs nonchalantly.

The last picture
, Pierre had me remove my shirt. The guys are behind me to my right. Leila is pressed up against me on my left while whispering in my ear, and my head is turned away from her seductively.

Pierre yells “Perfection. That’s a wrap.”
At once all his minions scatter in different directions.

I feel Leila visibly relax next to me. “You did great.” I say rubbing her arms.
Then I bend to whisper into her ear, “See if you can keep this outfit.”

I move
over to Jennifer, before I can get myself into trouble and pretend I have questions regarding this week’s schedule. From the corner of my eye, I see Dylan walking up to Leila, causing my hackles to rise. Watching from across the room, Leila smiles at something he says. They stand and chat for a few minutes, when he leans in and says something to make her laugh. She quickly glances over at me and turns back to Dylan before he walks out. Giving me a shy smile, she then turns to walk out of the room herself.

I need to talk to her. I haven’t heard a word Jennifer said for the last five minutes. She finally shuts up and says, “I’ll see you tomorrow. I have a meeting with Bobby.”

I walk over to Hunter and ask, “Jennifer has a meeting with Bobby, are you heading over to the studio?”

He grabs his jacket.
“Yeah, Scott has his van. Are you coming?”

“I’m going to drive down
with Leila so I can talk to her.” I say innocently.

“Ok. See you later.” He
pats my back and leaves me dumbfounded. What? No words of wisdom?

I leave the room in search of Leila, and finally find her in a small dressing room by her
self. “Can I come in?”

She is sitting in front of a vanity staring into space. She is back in her regular clothes, her face is clean, and her hair is brushed. She must have bolted to this room and stripped down immediately. 
As hot as she looked earlier, this is who she is and she is beautiful.

“Sure.” She says looking over at me in the doorway.

“Did your boobs cool off?” I ask closing the door behind me and walking over to her. I put my hands on her shoulders and look at her reflection in the mirror.

“
Wouldn’t you like to know?” She glances up at me in the mirror. “Well that was a bit embarrassing. I guess I need to get used to people gawking?”

“
Based on how you look, prepare for lots of gawking.”

“Yay. I can’t wait.” She says with sarcasm dripping in her words.
Nodding toward a bag that sits on a chair, she adds, “They said I can keep it.”

“Well yay
for me.”

She suddenly ge
ts serious and frowns. “Um, Dylan asked me out to dinner tonight.” She looks up and starts biting on her bottom lip.

“Why?”

“Because he had fun the last time we went out?” she responds with a question. She comes closer when she notices my clenched fists. “Listen, he’s just a friend. It would look weird if I refused his invite. You said yourself to act like I normally do. The Leila I was a week ago would have said yes.”

“Remind me why we are keeping us a secret?”

“Because you want to make me happy?”

She’s right.

Fuck.

“Oh, yea
h…I forgot.” I pull her into my arms and kiss her head. “Its just dinner, right?” She nods quietly.

“Ok.  Its
just dinner…nothing else.” I repeat, more for my own sake.

Chapter 23
-Leila

Life has been a whirlwind since our photo shoot. The album cover has been chosen, the track order has been set, and the songs are cut and mixed. Our tour kicks off in a few days and I’m a bundle of nervous energy.

Jack and I have stolen ti
me together whenever we could, but it’s been very hard since we’ve been so busy. He has continuously voiced we could spend nights together if we just told Hunter. I almost caved a few times during the throws of passion, but I’m just not ready. I don’t know what’s keeping me from going public.

Actua
lly I do know. I don’t want to be judged…especially by Hunter or Evan. Jack had a very active sex life before I came along. He promised he hasn’t been with anyone else and I believe him. I just can’t process in my brain why he would want to go from having a hot girl almost daily to stolen moments with me. That’s just what they are - moments.

I try to tell myself that’s
a stupid mentality, but unfortunately his track record speaks volumes. What if he gets bored and moves on? If our relationship was common knowledge, even if just to Hunter or the guys, and he was to end it to go back to his philandering ways, the humiliation at this point in our success would be fatal to me.

As far as going public to the rest of the
world, again it’s stupid, but if I read one negative comment on the Internet claiming I got job because I was screwing Jack, it would be even worst. That’s not why I got the job and I know the truth, but reviews like that could kill my career before it even got started.

That being said, I love being with him. I love everything from having a quiet dinner, to rehearsing, to having sex…whatever
it is we are doing. Our time together goes way too fast, and it always leaves me wanting more.

Dylan and I have been have gone out to dinner a few more times during these past few weeks. It’s only platonic. I assured Jack that we were just friends. I did not mention
that Dylan alluded to wanting more than friendship. That little tidbit wouldn’t help matters.

Friends or not,
I truthfully enjoy his company. It’s easy and comfortable between us. During the times I’m left with nothing but my own thoughts, I can sometimes visualize a relationship with Dylan. If Jack weren’t in the picture, Dylan would absolutely be someone I could be with. It’s not fair to any man I meet from here on. As long as Jack walks on this earth, he is and will always be my weakness.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my dad and some time with Evan these past weeks. On rare occasions, Evan would join us for brunch. There is still a strain between them but it’s definitely improved. I hope Evan will make the effort to become closer to dad again
, while I’m gone.

Evan has seen Lizzy a few times. He gushes about her and I’ve never seen my friend acting this way over a girl. I asked Jack if Lizzy has mentioned Evan, and he said
that it seems she is into him as well, but Lizzy has priorities and her career means a lot to her. She has worked hard and will not have anything interfere with that. Evan mentioned the same information to me as well, so I was glad to hear she is being honest with him.

Cliffhangers have
been playing bars in the city one day almost every week. Lori has been booking them on nights the guys are off from The Zone. She said she wants to pick her battles with Sal and only when a once in a lifetime opportunity presents itself, will she insist on having the weekend off for the boys. Lori has proven to be perfect for them.

According to
Lori, she and Trey have been having a “fucking fantastic time”. She isn’t looking for a relationship at this point in her life. Her obsession with Matt helped her to realize that. She wasted too much time on him. She wants Cliffhangers to be a success, and she wants to prove this is her purpose. Trey has been a nice distraction. The orgasms are off the charts…again, Lori’s words. She said they both decided to end things during our tour. She feels it’s best not to pine away for a rock star while he is off crossing the country and she’ll be too busy with her career. I agreed with her. Besides, I have no doubt that she will find someone else in a heartbeat, especially now that she has moved past Matt. I also feel if it’s meant to be with Trey, it will happen once he gets back.

Dylan’s assis
tant Cathy has been a godsend. Since exchanging cell numbers, she and I have been chatting often. I love the fact that the guys have to go through Dylan, but I just need to call my newfound friend Cathy to get what I need. She requested a list of
must haves
from all of us so she could properly stock the bus. She also has my
personal
list and said not to worry about anything and she would take care of it. I sent her a large bouquet of flowers to thank her for all she has done for me these last few weeks. She argued that she hasn’t even begun to help me yet, but I quickly told her she has tremendously already.

Yesterday w
e were taken to the tour buses so we could get an idea on living conditions and storage space. This was quite an experience. We were in the bus all of ten minutes and the four hulking men I’ll be living with were making me feel claustrophobic.

There is a living area in the front of the bus, directly behind the drivers. It contains a u-shaped
booth that could seat four. Directly across is a long couch with a TV mounted on the wall in the opposite corner. The kitchen area has a small sink, a microwave, coffee maker, and four cabinets, two above and two below. I opened one of the cabinets to find it filled with boxes of Fruit loops.

“What’s with all the Fruit loops?” I asked Jack who was sitting watching me explore.

He shakes his head and says “Friggin’ Hunter has the diet of a five year old.” I laughed out loud as I opened another cabinet to reveal Pop Tarts and Blow Pops. I do thankfully see my pretzels, yogurts and diet cokes in the fridge. These are my only must haves in life. There is a single serve coffee maker on the counter, and at least ten boxes of coffee k-cups squeezed into one of the other cabinets. I look over at Jack and he shrugs.

The bathroom could be compared to
that of an airplane bathroom, only with a small stall shower in the corner. Under the sink is a cabinet with removable bins that are labeled with our names. This is where we could store our personals. When I took a look inside the cabinet, I cringed. I wasn’t off the mark when I worried where I would hide my tampons.

A
curtain separates the living space from the bunks. There four on each side, each containing a little nook to hold personals, a drawer below the mattress, a built in light above, and a very flimsy curtain for privacy. At the back of the bus is one small bedroom. The whole room consists of a full size bed and a built in closet on one side. We will all have to share this one closet. Our suitcases would be stored under the bus in the luggage compartment.

The bed discussion has been an uncomfortable one. The guys were trying to diplomatically create
a schedule.  During their argument Jack threw me a heated look. Later that day, he tried to convince me once again of the benefits of exposing our relationship to the guys, a bedroom to ourselves being the latest one.

Physically, I am completely ready to leave
. I’ve forwarded my mail, made a set of keys to my apartment for Evan and stored Bessie safely in my dad’s garage. I’ve cleaned out closets, cabinets and drawers to get rid of anything I didn’t need. I am even somewhat packed. It’s hard to fit everything you could possibly need in one suitcase. I’ve pulled things out and replaced them, only to put them back dozens of times. The one thing Jack insisted I take was my photo shoot outfit. He wants me to wear it on stage opening night and I’m not entirely comfortable with that. I do have it packed, but I’ll need a lot of convincing or alcohol to sport that outfit on stage. Those jeans are so tight I could barely walk.

So now
I have nothing left to do before we leave, but think. Mentally, I am not ready for this tour. This has been my dilemma since joining DL, because I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. We open the tour in two days in the city. We all received a nice strip of tickets for family and friends. All my guys will be there, the girls, my dad, even Sal is coming. To say I have butterflies over this is an understatement. They are more like bats wreaking havoc inside of me. I just need to get through opening night and I feel I’ll be ok…I think.

Today I spend a few hours with my dad. He made me lunch and now we are
looking at old family pictures. Our few hours go by way too quickly. I already gave him my complete itinerary as well as Jack’s cell, Jennifer’s cell, Dylan’s cell…hell anyone’s cell that I will be traveling with.

Dad drops me off at the restaurant
where I’m meeting my friends. I hug him super tight and promise that I will text or call as often as I can. He frowns and wells up with tears. I am going to miss him terribly but I know he’ll be ok.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the show?”

“Yes, sweetheart. I’ll be the one in section three, row two balling my eyes out.”

“Dad…”

Shrugging, he draws me in for one more hug. “I love you Leila.”

“Me too dad.” No sooner
do I close the door than he literally peels out of the parking lot, never giving me a second glance.

Once inside, I realize
I’m the first one here. While waiting for my late friends, I order a few pitchers of beer and a cheap bottle of house white. Evan arrives a few minutes later and takes a seat beside me.

“Watch my bag I hav
e to run to the ladies room.” I quickly kiss him on the cheek and leave the table. As I’m walking back towards our table I hear a familiar ringtone playing from my phone, and I see Evan holding it while smirking.

Oh crap.

I grab the phone away and say, “Hello.”

“Hey babe.” He
replies and my heart stops. It is so sexy when Jack calls me babe or baby, so damn sexy.

“Hi. What’s up?” I
try to remain as casual as possible under Evan’s steady glare. 

“How long do you think you’ll be out?” He says.

“Don’t know, why?”

“I’m coming over, is that ok
? Hunter is out for the night, wanting to spend as much time with Mandi as possible.”

“Yes, that’s fine. I’ll text you that info once I have it.” I
hope he decodes my words.

There is a two second pause. “Not alone?”

“Nope.”

“Got it. O
k, text me when you are done. Give me about an hour warning. Oh and babe, I can’t wait to go down on you.” He hangs up before I can respond.

Holy shit
…

Avoiding Evan’s gaze, I hang up and silence my phone. I don’t want that ring tone blaring once the rest of the gang arrives. As I start pouring myself a glass of wine, I look up to see Evan gawking at me.

“What?” I ask trying to feign innocence.

“
Tie me down
?” he asks referring to my ring tone.

C
rap!

“Spill it Leila. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. You know I’ve always had a crush on him. It’s a joke. I set it as a joke.” I casually read my menu.

I blatantly ignore his stare when he
scolds, “I hope you know what you are doing. If you want to talk about it then just bring it up.” He reaches over and takes my hand from the edge of the menu. “Ok?”

I feel completely torn. I really can’t b
urden him with this right now. Furthermore, I worry what Evan would think of our situation. I never want his opinion of me to change. That may be a shallow of me, but he has held me on such a high pedestal that I can’t disappoint him. I’m not concerned about his feelings of me being with Jack. I’m more concerned he will think I’m selling myself short and hampering my career.

I nod and lie
. “Of course I will.”

Evan continues to assess me with concern in his eyes. I’m not sure
that he bought my lie. It’s shortly after that our friends start filing in. Thankfully this distracts Evan. We are a loud, happy, obnoxious group of seven. As we place our orders and are waiting for the food to arrive, Matt informs us that he is dating a girl named Gina who he met at the bar. So that’s why he’s been nice to us. I closely watch Lori for any sign of distress and sure enough, she frowns for the briefest of moments and then plasters a sweet smile on her face. She catches me watching and changes the subject to the last bar the guys played in. She’s thinks she’s so slick but she’s not over him.

A little while later, Logan stands and clears his throat. He beams down at Alisa and she jumps up
presenting her hand out for all to see. “We got engaged last night!”

Lori and I start screaming with her
while the guys congratulate Logan. This is a big deal. They are the first of our group to take such a plunge. The wedding will be in a year, and she wants Lori and me to be bridesmaids.

The group teases Evan over his “phantom girl
friend”. They aren’t convinced that she exists, and Evan summons for Lori and I to attest the opposite.

Joseph announces he i
s most definitely still single and may join Match.com soon. By the end of our night, I have laughed so hard my cheeks hurt.