Back-Up (37 page)

Chapter 25-Leila

My heart swells with the love I feel for this man. His admission causes my body to sag against him like I am suddenly boneless. He is everything I ever wanted. Caring, kind, gentle, funny, romantic, passionate, sexy…all my wants and needs rolled into one perfect man. This seems too good to be true. How could I have gotten so lucky?

I clutch him
without wanting to let go. I’m afraid that this is all a dream. Our embrace is a symbolic culmination of what we have been stupidly holding back from each other.

Jack bends and kisses me again, probing my mouth open with the tip of his tongue, and I allow him complete access.  When he pulls away, the sudden space between us causes me to want to sob.

“Leila, I am overwhelmed by this.” A slow smile spreads across his face, causing me to suck in a breath from his beauty. “I’m never letting you go.” He crushes his lips to mine, transferring his emotions through his kiss.

I have
one nagging thought that I can’t ignore. This man just confessed love to me, how am I going to bring up my concerns with his past? Being dishonest wouldn’t be fair to me or to him. I need to admit how much I worry about him cheating on me. I could not handle that again.  And I refuse to be put in that position.

Pulling away, I
gulp and venture, “Jack, can we talk about something else?”

“Anything.”

I take a deep breath and try to begin but I can’t seem to get the words out. I’m not sure if it’s fear, or I’m afraid by voicing my fears they may come true.

He
squeezes my hands and wills me to continue with apprehension etched into every line on his face.

“Jack, you know Matt cheated on me. What
I haven’t told you is that I actually walked in on him with a mutual friend of ours from high school.”

Realizing where I’m taking this conversation, Jack sits quietly
until I continue.

A vivid image appears in my mind as if it happened yesterday. “I stood frozen, unable to move. When they finally realized I was standing there, I felt sick to my stomach. He made me look like such a fool. I defended him over and over to anyone who tried to convince me Matt was cheating on me. It was pathetic how much denial I was in.

“What I’m trying to say is if you have any reservations of being faithful, I need to know now. I will not, ever put myself in that situation again. I’m not asking for a signed contract stating that you’ll never cheat. I’m not dumb enough to believe that would be reality. I’m asking if you think you’ll cheat, please end it before you actually do.”

Jack sits quietly, somberly returning my gaze. “Leila, I’ve had only one girlfriend in my life. I was in a
two-year relationship during high school. I thought it was love. Now that I know what love actually is, I see that we weren’t even close. I did care for her, maybe too much. She cheated on me several times during the course of our relationship. I don’t cheat.”

“Thank you for telling me that.”

“I love you. I want nothing but to be with you and be completely committed to you in every way.”

I pull his face down to mine and kiss
his gorgeous lips over and over and over.

He stands and
holds his hand out for me. As we walk towards my bedroom, the anticipation I feel is different than all the other times we were together. I think it’s because this time, we will truly be making love. All the sex I’ve had up to this point, with Jack included, really was just sex. Once one admits to love someone, a sudden change occurs. The physical act is no longer the focus. I want to connect to him like we’ve never connected before.

Jack undresses
and then slowly removes my clothing. “You are gorgeous...inside and out.”

He bends
to kiss me passionately. I am one huge nerve ending and I feel the sensations in every cell of my entire body. He stares at my exposed chest before pulling my erect nipple in between his lips. My fingers find the hair at the nape of his neck, as I arch my back, forcing myself further into his mouth. I throw my head back and slump against him while he kisses and sucks on my breast until it drives me to the brink of an orgasm.

He slowly unbuttons my shorts and then hooks his fingers into the waistband to pull them down my legs very slowly.  As I place my hand on his shoulder, he lifts each leg to release them. Dressing in haste after he stormed off, my bra wasn’t the only thing I skipped over. I al
so didn’t put on my underwear and am now standing completely bare. 

I hear him gasp and he takes a step away from me to get a better look.

“Turn around.” His voice is husky yet soft. I turn, with my back to him and he immediately slides his hands over my belly, wrapping his arms around my body. He finds my ear with those magnificent lips. I don’t think I’m going to make it much longer as he kisses me slowly from my ear down to my neck. I groan while he continues to kiss my neck, using his tongue to lick me in the most erotic way. He skims his hands over my body and slowly slides them down my legs. As he squats behind me, I can feel his lips against the small of my back. It sends jolts through me and into my crotch.

Without standing, he slowly turns me until his face is at the apex of my
thighs and then plants a kiss low on my abdomen. He is so beautiful as he knees before me. Running my hand through his silky hair, I feel my heart will burst from the emotions he triggers inside.

“I want to make love to you for hours, Leila.” He says smiling while looking up at me.

I smile back at him and simply say, “I want nothing more.”

Jack stands and lifts me into his arms, placing me dead center on the bed.

The journey he makes down my body with his lips causes pulsing sensations to spread through me like a slow smoldering fire. He stops at my breasts, kissing and suckling them, caressing and holding them, taking his sweet time. The sensation is now unbearable.

“Jack, please.” I gasp, trying to pull him back up to my face.

“Not yet.” He smiles against my skin.

The n
ext stop is my belly button, where he torturously dips his tongue and it feels unbelievable. I relax back onto the bed and try to accept the slow torture he is determined to unleash on me.

He slowly moves one hand down to lightly stroke me, and then his lips follow as he kisses his way down my body.  When Jack reaches his target, I lose all conscious thoughts. Relentlessly, he licks and sucks me in the most perfect of ways. I immediately come and come and come and come. It’s doesn’t end. He lets me ride my wave, and then he starts all over again
. He takes me in between his lips, his hands spread on my inner thighs while his thumbs trace patterns close to where his mouth is.

He repeats the entire process again. As he slowly slides two fingers inside me, he laps at me in very long, slow strokes. He is a master at oral sex. I feel my body clenching around his fingers. He pulls them out and replaces them with his t
ongue. The wave of ecstasy goes on and on as he makes love to me with his tongue.

Only after the last spasm subsides
does he then slowly make his journey back up my body.

“Jack,
my God.” I say, as he once again sucks on my nipple. He moves up my neck, and kisses his way to my mouth. I pull him over me so we are flush up against each other.  I feel every muscle of his body pressing against mine with the most important one pushing into my thigh.

He starts to kiss me slowly, while his hands are on either side of my head. Staring into each other’s eyes, he reaches for my hands
and laces our fingers together and shifts so his erection is positioned at my entrance.

He slowly sinks into me
as I close my eyes from the intensity of the overwhelming emotion he is causing inside my heart.

“Open your eyes
and look at me.”

I obey,
although it’s hard to do so. I only want to close them and relish these sensations. The intimacy between us is overwhelming. We’ve done this plenty of times before, but this time is different. I know he feels it too.

We move together over and over, until I feel the familiar tightening. He kisses me, pushing me over the edge
and then he releases seconds after I do. I can see every emotion he is feeling cross over his features, and in his dark grey eyes.

“I love you,
Leila.” He assures me while our bodies are still connected. Neither of us wants to break the connection. 

“I love you too.” I say losing myself in his eyes.

***

“Can we talk about something?” He asks while sipping his coffee. He spent the night, and we have a few hours before we need to be at the arena. 

“Sure.”

“Can we tell the guys?” He watches me closely
and waits for my response.

I move into the kitchen to refill my mug. “It means a lot to you that they know?”

He comes to stand with me, taking the mug from my hands and placing it on the counter. “It means I can love you the way I want to.”

Well when he puts it that way
…

“Leila, we are all going to be together night and day. I understand you aren’t ready for the world to know. But to keep this from the guys would be torture for me. I want to be able to hold your hand, kiss you, love you without hiding it in front of them.”

He’s so romantic…and loving. How can I deny him something so profound? “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yes.”

He crushes me to his chest without warning. “Jack, I can’t breathe.”

“Oh…sorry.” He releases his hold, but only slightly. “Leila, you have no idea how happy I am right now.”

“I know exactly how hap
py you are.” I subtly stroke his excitement.

He shrugs sheepishly. “It has a mind of it’s own.”

Jack loves me over and over for the rest of the morning. In the kitchen and in the shower and in my bed.

“I’m going to have a limp on stage tonight.” I tease as we get dressed and ready to leave.

“Fuck, that’s sexy.” He says coming behind me to kiss my neck. His tongue slowly traces a line to my ear.

“Jack, we are out of time. We have to go. The cab will be here any minute.”

Sighing he releases me. “Fine. You’re a buzz kill though.”

I walk
into my bathroom and call out, “I’ll make it up to you as we pull away from the arena tonight while on my knees.”

His eyes are smoldering as he walks over to me. “Fuck. You can’t say things like that to me.” He kisses me like he wants to
leave his mark on my thoughts. It’s the kind of kiss that has me panting and gasping for air.

“You don’t play fair.” I huff as he walks away chuckling at the condition he’s left me in.

Jack helps me lock up my apartment and carries my bag down all three flights of stairs. On the cab ride to the city, I am a bundle of nervous, excited, and over the top happy energy. I can’t sit still, constantly tapping my foot or jiggling my leg. Jack holds my hand the entire time, smiling wide every time he looks at me, clearly entertained by my nerves.

When we arrive at the concert hall, the limo pulls around to the back entrance to let me out first. “I’ll circle the block, and then come in.” He kisses me before I exit. “I love you.”

“Me too.”

Once at the arena door, a security guard asks for my pass. I’ve never been back stage in my life. It’s thrilling to know that some great performers have walked these halls.

A pretty girl with a clipboard and an earpiece greets me, she introduces herself as Stephanie our event manager, and leads me down the hall a large room.

Dylan is the first to see me and walks over to grab my bags. “You excited?”

“Um, yes excitement is somewhere on the list of things I’m feeling now…but I think it’s towards the bottom.” I admit with a smile. “Dylan, I’m sorry I didn’t call you back last night. I got in pretty late.”

“No worries. I just wanted to see if you were ok.”

“I’m fine. Let’s just forget about it, ok?”

“
Yep.” He pulls me into a hug. I look over to see Jack walking in time to see Dylan’s arms around me. He smiles warmly and my heart skips a beat.

“I’ll see you
before the show?” He asks.

“Yep.” He nods and
passes Jack on his way out.

Hunter comes over and grabs me by
the waist. “Leila it’s here. It’s finally here.” He says while swinging me around.

I’m laughing at his enthusiasm when Jack
orders, “Put her down or she’s going to throw up on you.”

Hunter puts me down and says, “For real?”

I nod and smile, “For real. I definitely feel like I could lose my lunch right about now.”

He immediately
obeys and Jack laughs.

Jennifer walks in with a burly middle-aged
man. His name is Will Sutter and he’s our equipment manager. There are also five young guys with him who are all wearing Devil’s Lair t-shirts. I am wondering if these guys are fans when Will informs us they are our roadies and will be traveling with us.